Being Brave

If you've known us for long, you've seen these kinds of pictures for five years. It's good to have a best friend.

Hannah in her favorite place with her favorite person...pretty good. :)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

The way it always was is no longer good enough. You make me want to be brave. --"Brave" by Nichole Nordeman

I haven't written in a while, because I've been crazy busy and frankly, I didn't have a lot to say. I don't know that I have a ton to say now, but if I don't write every once in a while, my parents think something is wrong, so here I am. :) This is the first morning this week with even a hint of time to write--language lessons and just living are pretty much eating up my life. But that's ok. I like busy. I get into trouble when I'm not busy. When Sarah Beth was in kindergarten, her teacher didn't think it was fair to make her do extra work, but SB had finished the "checklist" for kindergarten by the end of the sixth week. While others had tasks to do, Sarah Beth was allowed to play and create on her own. We begged the teacher (we warned her) to give SB some extra work, promising we wouldn't feel bad if she had more to do, because we KNEW what happened when she got bored. Sure enough, sometime around December I received an instant message at my school across town that said, "If Miss Sarah Beth misbehaves one more time today, I'm going to suspend her." Yep. A note from the principal. Niiiiiiceeeee. After that, the teacher gave her more to do. Lesson learned. The Hooks are not good at bored.

So what, exactly, is making me so busy? Well, lots of stuff. I'm doing a little volunteering at the kids' school--nothing major, but it still takes time. I'm also Marc's secretary, so I take care of emails and appointments and scheduling and finance reports, and that takes time. I'm back in language learning, so that takes a HUGE amount of my time. (But it's going well! I love my teacher, even though she is kicking me in the patootie with the German every day!) And frankly, just living in a land that isn't yours takes time--interpreting and translating letters and bills, figuring out medicine and doctors, getting kids from one place to the other (although they do a lot of that on their own, which is nice), laundry, cooking, cleaning...you get the idea. Everything just takes a little longer than in the States. But that's ok. Like I said...boredom is risky for all of us.

What happens when I'm bored? Well, kind of like Miss Sarah Beth, I get into mischief when I'm bored. I don't hide the teacher's purse (true story) or glue stuff to the ground (don't ask), but I fall into stinky old habits--discontent, a critical spirit, and--the biggie for me--anxiety. Given half a chance, anxiety can sure enough wring the joy right out of me. And friends, I've had some stuff to be anxious about. Just stuff. Some of it mine, some of it my kids', some of it my family's. If you know my parents, you know that my Dad is facing a pretty serious (and discombobulating) health problem, one that makes us all say, "What?!" Hannah's situation in Wien hasn't been all that pleasant. My beloved uncle is in treatment for skin cancer. The summer was ridiculously hot, breeding discontent and snarkiness. (And Florida folks, I love you so much, but do not compare your heat to ours. You have air conditioning. That is the end of that story. If you do not have air conditioning and are sweating through the sheets every night, then you can compare. But if you aren't seriously considering sleeping in your car because it's the only thing with ac, then I don't want to hear you complain about how hot it is from your air conditioned house to your air conditioned car.) I think sometimes on this blog I make it sound like all the problems we face here are metaphoric, deep, esoteric things, that in the daily living, we are living a fairy tale. If I have done that, it has not been my intention. Life is hard. I don't care where you are, life is hard. You know what? If I was sitting in Middleburg, Florida, my Daddy would still have the same health problem, and I would still be concerned about it. It doesn't matter where you are. Nobody on earth is living the fairy tale. I live in a beautiful place, to be sure, and I absolutely adore my adopted city. I love my neighborhood. I even kind of like German. But our life is not a fairy tale here. Nor was it a fairy tale in Middleburg or Moscow or Prague. It just is what it is. It's difficult and messy and full of big mistakes that sometimes aren't as funny as we pretend they are in order to make ourselves feel better. Life is just hard.

Now, before you think this is the most depressing thing I've ever written (just call me Eeyore), I have good news. The comfort and peace that comes from serving a God bigger than the scary, creepy, and very messy life we live here is real and sure and trustworthy. You know what? I'm not worried about my Dad. I'm concerned, for sure. I'm anxious to hear what the surgeon he meets with on Monday has to say. I want to hear some good news. But...and this is hard for me to write...if it's not good news, or even worse, if it's no news at all...I know for sure and certain that my Jesus, who my Daddy has served his whole life, loves Daddy way more than even I do, or Kay, or Cathy (the three biggest Daddy's girls on earth) or Momma. We think Hannah's situation is improving. But if it doesn't, I know for sure and certain that Jesus, who she serves with a boldness and dedication that inspires me, loves her way more than even her Momma and Daddy and sister and brother do. Our sweet Sarah Beth is half a world away, but I know Jesus has her in the palm of His hand. How do I know? Because He promised. He said the Lord my God would be with me where I went, and that means Middleburg, Siloam Springs, Moscow, Prague, Plzen, and Vienna. (That's a long list of different languages. I sure would love for German to be the last on that list.) And that means that no matter how far away I am from the people I desperately love, He is with them, too. I can be brave no matter what comes, I can have courage, I can be strong...but only because of Him. Only because of our relationship. Only because I know from my own experience that He is trustworthy and faithful, no matter what circumstances or changes I face. And if you don't think there is real comfort and peace to be found there...well, you're wrong. There is.

So I march on in my busy life, feeling a modicum of peace about the bad stuff going on, and taking joy in the good stuff. Two babies are due this fall in my family (one any second). I'm going to the States in December to see people I love get married and have some Christmas time with Sarah Beth. Hannah loves her voice teacher and is thrilled to be taking serious music lessons. John adores everything about middle school (except the math homework...not so wild about that). I'm having lunch today with girlfriends, people I really love and like a lot. Ministry opportunities are popping up in our neighborhood. We have found (thanks to my sweet friend, Stacy) what may be the perfect German teacher for us. Marc and I have a really cool project we're working on. We finally feel like we're putting some roots down in Vienna. And--hallelujah!--it looks like fall has finally come to Vienna. All of those are things to rejoice in. And all of those are gifts from the Father.  And we're thankful. Really, really thankful.

I don't know what is going on in your life, your heart, your circumstances.But I do know that if you have a heartbeat and are breathing, you have problems. And I promise you this--there is peace and comfort to be found in relationship with the One who loves you more than you can imagine. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you know His comfort and peace and rest, and that you are enjoying the onslaught of cooler temperatures where you are, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Coming into Focus

First day of sixth grade for John, first day of tenth grade for Han...where have the years gone??

The football shrine--Oklahoma Sooners on one side, Florida Gators on the other, and College Gameday on the television.

My man loves his Sooners...ready for a nice day celebrating the opening of our favorite season!

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

Well, we made it through the first week of school. There were some bad moments, but there were also some great moments, and we're steadily focusing on them. The bad stuff? Not a whole lot we can do about right now, except pray, and it makes the good stuff seem really precious. That's not wholly terrible, I think, to keep the good in perspective, when it's easy to shuffle it off to the side and forget about it. And so, we're focusing on the good, on the fun of school starting, college football season starting, cooler temperatures, etc. We love fall, and fall in Austria is incredible, so we're focusing on that, too...the anticipation of some day trips around the country, of football games, getting to know our new church, cooking chili...you get the idea. Focusing on the positive.

I've been thinking about focus a good bit, lately, mostly because I'm having a problem with my left eye. Actually, I'm not sure if I'm having a problem with my left eye or with my contact. I changed contacts (mine are the kind you keep for a month at a time), and I suddenly can't focus my left eye without some actual thought about focusing it. And sometimes, I can't get it to focus at all, which leaves me a little bit discombobulated. (Plus, I've started doing that middle-aged thing where you hold something far away until it comes into focus. When did that happen?!?!?!) So, obviously, focus has become a big thing in my life recently. Or at least a thing I'm thinking about it more than I normally do.

Last night, we had friends over, and we got to telling stories about stupid junk we've done overseas. Mistakes in language, in culture, getting fed up and yelling in English (yep...that one was me...in Ashan for those of you who know that store well), and just generally not being the spiritual giants we'd like to think God sends overseas. We were laughing. Laughing hard. Because if you've lived overseas for any amount of time--even a couple of weeks--you've done something stupid and felt ridiculous about it. You've been humbled by which greeting is appropriate in which setting. You've accidentally used the informal when you were supposed to use the formal and really offended someone. You've sat in church and had to glance around to see which book of the Bible the pastor is reading out of, because you don't know them in the current language. (By the way--sometimes it's not a translation. It's just that they call it a totally different name. Can you say Second Moses?) You've misunderstood something said to you. Or you've just had it with trying to find your kids' school supplies in thirty different stores. You either have to laugh, or you have to cry. And having tried both, I can say from experience that laughter is far preferable.

But here's the good news: it gets better. I don't think about the school supply shopping, because I'm used to it. The weird stuff that doesn't even remotely resemble the way we do it in America (because T.I.N.A.--this is not America) doesn't seem weird to me, anymore. The way I pay my bills, the way I get to the grocery or to the kids' school...none of it fazes me, anymore, because it is what life is here. And generally speaking, I like life overseas, so that stuff doesn't bother me...ANYMORE. But my friends in Moscow will laugh when they read this, because those exact things used to drive me NUTS when I first moved overseas. CRAZY. But they just are part of life, now. So it gets better.

And that's an encouraging word, isn't it, about a lot of things. Not just culture shock or learning a language, but just life in general. Things change. They get better. Or they don't, but you learn to live with them, or you grow in your own life to the point that they aren't as big a deal, anymore. And the only way I know for that kind of growth to happen is to focus on Christ. On His glory. On His path, His will, on His all-encompassing love for us. When I am focused on Him...the things of earth do, indeed, grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.

So what does that have to do with the great cloud of witnesses? If you have experienced a real life and relationship with fellow believers--no matter the language--then you know what an encouragement that is to focus on Christ, on the positive things in life, on the immense blessings He rains down on those who love Him and believe. And those relationships are very often the way God encourages me to focus on Him. Sometimes, that's an encouragement to pray with one another, to worship together, to praise Him together...and sometimes, it's just sitting in our flat with friends, laughing and laughing at how stupid we sometimes are in His name. I have to believe that in both those scenarios--the serious and the silly--God is pleased when we pay attention not only to the great cloud who have gone before us, but also to the witnesses we do life with every day. I have to believe He smiles when we choose to love one another and encourage one another out of our great, common love for Him. We are commanded to love the brethren...I have to believe that making chili, watching football and laughing together definitely falls under that category.

Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are focused on Christ, on His goodness, on His cross, on His love...and that you have leftover chili in the crockpot today, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Every season...

Han and SB in front of the Starbucks near the Hofburg here in Wien

John and Han at the Vienna airport, waiting to go to Greece

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though the waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Psalm 46:1-3

I'm pretty sure that no matter where you live in the world, no matter what you do, no matter if you are a believer or not--this is a universal blog today. Because, my friends, this is a blog about letting our kids go. And I don't care who you are, that is the hardest thing on earth to do. As I sit here, Sarah Beth is on her way to college for her junior year half a world away. That has been harder for me to deal with than I thought it would be. I'm not going to lie--I shed a few tears over it yesterday. Hannah is on her way to see her best friend--in another country. And John and I are headed out to buy jeans and shoes today, but it's John and Mom day, not John John and Mommy day. Wasn't it John John and Mommy day yesterday? Seriously?!?!

It seems like yesterday that I was the mother of three kids, and today I'm the mother of an adult, a teenager, and a preteen. Here's something stark for those who know me--the "baby" we lived in the quad with at FPO (and who lives around the corner from us here in Vienna) starts kindergarten next week. What?!? Seriously. More than any other year I can remember, so many of our friends' kids, our overseas nieces and nephews are being dropped off at college for their freshman year. It's hard. So hard. I can remember driving away from the parking lot at John Brown University two years ago, sobbing, looking back at my little girl who looked so tiny and alone. Impossible. How did I do that? (I did it because my sister, Kay, was driving. Otherwise, I'm sure there would have been an accident.) Other friends, particularly overseas, are watching their first (or second or third) grandbabies grow up across an ocean from them. I can't even imagine that. It can be done--and done well--but it takes real effort to grandparent from the other side of the ocean. And it's enough to make anybody homesick.

But it's the way of things, right? We raise our kids so they can be independent. We raise them to leave. From the first diaper on, we train them to leave our nest. Now--I'm not saying that an empty nest is something I'm dreading--Marc lives an adventurous life, and I'm looking forward to the opportunity to live some of the adventure with him, rather than "keep the home fires burning," which is a nice way to say I stay home and take care of the apartment and the kids. I like Marc, and we have more in common than just our kids, and so we're going to enjoy the chance to do life just the two of us. But don't think for a second that it isn't hard for me to realize how swiftly time is moving. I love being a mom--something I never thought I'd say in my pre-Marc days. I love even the hard stuff, the tears and the sorrows, because they are the chance to share their lives. I love that Sarah Beth is in love, I love preparing for voice lessons for Han, I love shopping for organizing stuff for John, who starts middle school next week--I love being their mom so much. And I want to protect them from all harm and make their lives easy and wonderful and free from hurts. But that isn't reality, is it? However, what a privilege to be entrusted by God with the hurts and sorrows, the joys and triumphs of these three incredible people. Even more than ever before, I'm trying to savor and enjoy this season of life, when I get to play an active role in their lives.

Sometimes, this life overseas is hard for me, because it's so different from my life in the States. In the States, I had a clear identity as a teacher. I loved my job, I loved my students, I loved my school...I loved my life there. It was fulfilling to me. My role overseas is much, much more traditional. (Not that being a teacher isn't a traditional role for women.) I am a housewife and full-time mother. Yes, I have some ministry things that are in the works, and yes, I work at making relationships and learning German so I can deepen those relationships. But the main focus of my energy (besides God, of course), is my family. Marc and the kids are my job here. And sometimes, that seems pretty basic. I clean a lot. I help with homework. I make lunches and cookies for bake sales and have parties for them. I take care of the finance report. Let's be honest--that's not as glamorous a life as living in Vienna probably sounds. But in this season of cleaning and cooking and just loving on my family, it is clear to me that this is what God has for me right now. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is from the end of I Timothy, where Paul says, "O Timothy, guard what has been entrusted to you..." Sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly unglamorous or am tempted to be tired of the daily ins and outs of full-time motherhood and wifehood, I substitute my own name. O Kellye, guard what has been entrusted to you. For this season, this fleeting moment, these four tremendous people have been entrusted to me. And I'm praying that amidst the cooking and cleaning and laundry and helping with homework, God is finding me faithful to guard those with whom He has entrusted me.

Well, my friends, I need to run get Marc and Han out the door and on their way to Czech Republic. This is our last week before school starts, and there is so much to get done that I don't see how we're going to get it all done. But we will. Or we won't. :) School will start in either case. Just a word, by the way, about John Hooks. I talk less about him, I think, in this blog than Han and Sarah Beth. To be honest, he's a pretty easy kid in many, many ways, and he's also a boy, so there's a lot less drama. (Love you girls, but you know it's true.) We were super proud of him yesterday. We visited a new German-speaking church (we really liked it), and John Hooks got up and went to Sunday School on his own. When we came to get him, we found him playing games with a group of kids his own age and having a ball. We did not make him go. We left it up to him, because we've learned when to push about language and when not to push about language. But he went without hesitation to spend time with other church kids--in a language that he doesn't fully know. His fearless heart was a thing of beauty, and an encouragement to his parents. I love that kid! Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are treasuring whatever season of life you happen to be in, and that you are able to find jeans for your swiftly-growing boy, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Waiting here for You

Tasha's new 'throne'--the more blankets you pile here, the better she likes it. I'm pretty sure I'm getting close to being a crazy cat lady. Oh, well.

Sometimes our prayers for deliverance from some particular strait are accompanied by faith to the extent we can foresee some predictable means of deliverance. But God is not dependent upon means that we can foresee. In fact, it seems from experience that God delights to surprise us by His ways of deliverance to remind us that our trust must be in Him and Him alone. --Jerry Bridges, Trusting God

I hate waiting. Maybe you are good at it. I am, most definitely, not. I hate everything about waiting. I like checklists and to-do lists, projects to complete, things to DO. Waiting is none of those things. Waiting is...well, it's just waiting. And I am definitely, without-a-doubt, no-question-about-it in a period of waiting in my life. It stinks. It really does.

What am I waiting for, you might be wondering? Direction. Answers. Solutions to problems that seem impossible to solve. An answer to the question, "So what do you DO in Vienna?" that isn't, "I cook meals and mop the floor a lot."  Waiting for all of that. Did I mention I hate waiting? :) I would love to teach. I have a teacher's heart and not a student in sight. Today is the first day of school in Clay County, Florida, where I have spent most of my teaching career. I would love nothing more than to be sitting in Middleburg, wide awake because I'm too excited to sleep, just like I've done pretty much every year for the last twenty. I would love to teach here. I can't. It's a visa issue that appears unsolvable. I would love to volunteer in an Austrian school. Unfortunately, I have no contacts and not enough German to just walk in and volunteer myself. (Come to think of it, I don't even know how to say 'volunteer' auf Deutsch.) For the first time in my life overseas, my years of teaching English do not seem to be particularly valuable. That could change, of course. I could make some contact in a school that would let me volunteer. I could learn the German word for 'volunteer.' (Yes, I will look it up when I'm done writing!) So hear me when I say that I don't think this is an unsolvable problem or that my lack of a use for twenty years of teaching experience is a permanent issue. I don't think that. But for this season, I am--for the first time in my adult life--not a teacher of anyone in any capacity. And that's hard. Really, really hard for me.

There are other things too personal to share here that I'm waiting for...answers that don't seem to be in the offing at the moment. Problems that just look like too much for me to see a logical solution to them. (Do you hear the music swelling? Because I'm about to resolve the minor chord, as it were.) But isn't that the tremendous thing about our God? He is not reliant on my logic. (Praise the LORD!) He is not reliant on anything but Himself. And...here's the hard part...He has a plan and a purpose even in the waiting. OUCH! I want things fixed. Yesterday. Quickly. I want answers and solutions and a way to see the sun shining amidst the clouds. But at this moment, for this season, that is not what He has for me or for us. What He has for us is Himself. What He has for us is learning to rely on Him and Him alone. In this season of waiting, when answers seem pretty few and far between, there is sweetness and comfort that His promises are true, that He does not waste anything in our lives, and best of all...that His plan is for our good and His glory. Amen and amen.

So what do I do while I wait? Learn German. Work at relationships. Love my kids and husband through a difficult time. And yes, right now, I make meals and mop the floor a lot. I live my life in the most obedient way I know how, I pray a lot, I read my Bible, I journal, I complete the couple of projects I have in front of me, I volunteer a bit at the kids' school...and I wait. I would like to say that I wait patiently, but I'm contractually obligated not to lie. :) But I do know from experience that on the other side of this season, I will likely be able to see some purpose in this. Maybe not the full plan, because in my experience, I rarely get a big picture glimpse of what God's doing--but maybe a brief glimpse of this tiny corner of the plan. But even if I don't get that--even if this season never makes a bit of sense to me or to us, even if we don't see a single good thing come out of it--I choose to trust Him. I learned a long time ago that His ways were not mine, nor were His thoughts my thoughts. You can rest comfortably in the knowledge that the King of the Universe does not need me to solve things for Him, nor does He consult me about the best way to operate. I trust Him, because I know Him. And I know that He is good beyond measure, that His love for me and mine (and you and yours!) reaches to the heavens, that His faithfulness stretches to the skies. I have, indeed, tasted and seen that the Lord is good. He is trustworthy. In a season when I don't know a lot, I know that for sure and for certain. He is trustworthy.

Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are in a season full of easy answers and sunshiney days, and that you get to spend time with Hannah Jane Hooks today. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Love God. Love people.

After 22 years of marriage, I love him better than I did on that hot day in St. Charles, Mo, when I married him. That's saying something--because I really loved him a lot then!

To love God, love people--that's the center of the mark. --"Center of the Mark" by 4Him

That is a REALLY old song reference, but it's one I really love. There's truth there, I think. Keep the main thing the main thing, as a colleague likes to say. Love God. Love people. The other stuff works itself out. It's been an interesting thing to live across an ocean from the States and watch Facebook in this season of campaigns, politics, and heated debate about chicken. Oh, I know, I know...it's not really a debate about chicken, because nobody is denying that the chicken is delicious. (I was discussing this with some MKs who were staying with us this past week, and Hannah blurted out, "Why can't the delicious chicken unite us?" If these weren't my real teeth, I'd have dropped them on the floor from laughing so hard. She is a funny chickadee.) The debate, the reaction to opinions of a private citizen who simply responded to a question...it's puzzling to the rest of the world. One Russian friend called the U.S. a 'kindergarten country,' where people throw tantrums because others don't agree with them. OUCH. And I understand the issues surrounding the issue, I really do. I get the idea of a culture war, of traditions, of definitions that make one side comfortable and the other enraged. I get it. I really do.  And I'm not saying these aren't important issues. But they aren't the most important issue, right? 

I've been thinking about what God really wants from me a lot lately. Not from us as Christians, but from me, Kellye Michelle Hooks, individually and specifically. I've been studying, praying, reading my Bible even more than usual...and really, really listening. And I have to be honest with you--what I hear from God does not have a single thing to do with politics, sides, culture wars or any of the other things that eat our lives as American Christians. I have come to the conclusion that when I meet my Savior face to face, He is not going to chastise me for not talking enough about politics. He's not going to judge me over my lack of facebook posts about politics, political candidates, or whatever the day's hot-button issue might be. But I'm pretty sure I disappoint Him when I fail to love the folks He has graciously placed in my life. Whether that means Marc and the kids, my parents and extended family, my friends and colleagues, or the beggar who sits at our Ubahn station every day, I'm pretty sure that is where I am definitely not going to measure up in His eyes. And so lately, my daily prayer is for brokenness. A heart like His. COMPASSION like His. Do you know how many times in the Gospels it says that Jesus had compassion for the people? A bunch. You know why? Because He loves people. And I want to love people like He loves people.

Should we speak the truth in love? Absolutely. But here's the thing about that--when I'm doing that, I had better be on my knees beforehand about my own sins. Today's hot topic isn't something I personally struggle with, but I struggle with a negative, critical spirit. I struggle with weight issues because I eat emotionally (because evidently Jesus isn't enough comfort for me in hard times) and because I don't like to exercise (even though the Bible clearly says my body is His temple). I'm going to be brutally honest and vulnerable here--the more I know Jesus, the more I am convinced of the vastness of my sin. Mine. Not yours. Not that group that doesn't agree with me. Mine. Kellye's. And the more I understand the magnitude of my own sin, the more Jesus gives me compassion for others' struggles and a heart to love people. I do not naturally love people on my own. I can be mean and vitriolic and bitter when left to my own devices. But every morning without fail, the Savior of the whole world meets me at my desk and pursues my rotten heart. Every morning He grants me new mercies. He is faithful and true and full of lovingkindness to me and mine, and He enables me to love out of the overflow of His absolute goodness to me. I DO stand amazed in the presence of Jesus, the Nazarene, and wonder how He could love me, a sinner condemned, unclean. But oh--how marvelous is Jesus' love for me and for you and for the whole world.

Whatever your viewpoint--and I'm so thankful for friends and former colleagues and former students whose viewpoints differ greatly from mine, but who still love me--I want you to know that Jesus loves you. He died for you. I'm so thankful for the chance to love all kinds of different people. Whether you eat chicken on Wednesday or Friday or are a vegan and don't touch the stuff, Jesus loves you. He absolutely does. He told me so this morning. :) My challenge to all my friends is to get to know the real Jesus. His goodness, mercy, love and compassion are yours for the claiming. He died for you out of love, just like He died for me. And that, my friends, is good news no matter what you eat. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you know the great love of the One who died for you, and that your husband is coming home from the Olympics for your birthday, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Encouragement is the theme of the day

The beautiful view from our terrace in Greece...imagine birds chirping to get the full impact.

The Temple of Poseidon at Sounion, Greece

John in front of the Temple of Poseidon--his favorite mythological figure!

This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:21-23

Well, my friends, I had to get up at 4am to see Marc off to London, so I have a few minutes to spare this morning, and I thought I'd fill you in on our trip to Greece. We went for our Annual General Meeting, where all the people who work for our company in Europe or with European peoples elsewhere come together. Now, we have AGMs that are smaller--one cluster, two, or even three might meet together, but the big meetings, where it's everybody, don't happen very often. So we were really looking forward to it. We were looking forward to time with friends, to great preaching, to time with friends...you get the idea. And it was just as great as we'd hoped it would be. We left feeling encouraged in our devotion to Christ and to our city. We were renewed as we head into our second year in Vienna. We were also able to spend some time making contacts for Engage Sochi, the initiative that we co-direct with our partners in Sochi. In fact, Marc is going to do some work while he's in London on a piece that points the way toward Sochi in 2014. More on that as we get closer. Suffice to say, we are so excited to part of something that combines our love for the nations with a passion for Sochi. Super, super exciting stuff.

One of my favorite aspects of AGM is the stuff our kids get to do. Hannah had time with her friends from all over Europe, and it was HUGE for her. If you watch her facebook, you'll have a front-row seat for the love these kids have for one another. It is a big encouragement to this Momma's heart to watch her friends love her and lift her up. The move to Vienna has been a tremendously difficult one for Han. She has held up beautifully, but she's only 15. It's a really gorgeous thing to watch her beloved friends (and overseas 'aunts' and 'uncles') hold up her arms when she is tired. She came back to Vienna with a renewed sense of being where God has her for this season. John, too, had a wonderful time with his friends. In fact, even though he stayed in our room, we basically did not see him. He and his friends ran in a pack together, swam together, ate meals together and attended classes together. He loved the freedom of being one of the 'big kids.' (Volunteers from the States come and put on VBS for our kids, so John had the same VBS experience your kids did if you are in a SBC church in the States.) There was a lot of pushing each other in the pool, sunburn, signing each other's shirts, and just general goofiness. He came back encouraged and ready for a new school year.

Of course, you always want to walk away from this kind of big event with a theme or a lesson learned or just something you can hang your hat on and point to as the thing to come out of the time and money spent to put on the event in the first place. If I had to sum it up in one word, it would definitely be encouragement. And not just hey-you're-great-and-things-are-wonderful encouragement. Encouragement to be humble in the face of God's grace. Encouragement to run the race set out before us, even when (or maybe especially when) it is a difficult season. Encouragement to really love people. Encouragement to dig into language and culture and relationships. Encouragement to forgive. And maybe most importantly, encouragement that God is at work. Here in Vienna. Around Europe. All over the world. Europe can be a really discouraging place to work and invest. It's beautiful, the people are lovely, there is a lot of cool stuff to do and see. But Europe is less than 1% evangelized. And unlike places on earth where the Gospel hasn't gotten to, yet, Europe has had the Gospel for a long time and has by-and-large rejected it. The work is slow. The work is often very hard. Sometimes, it's easy to throw up our hands in disgust and just want to give up. But what if this moment, this season of real difficulty in our lives--what if this is the tipping point, the moment just before God is going to do something big? What if a season of unhappiness is going to be followed by something beautiful that God is honing in our lives? Oh, my friends, I don't want to miss that, do you? That's the sweet spot, the good stuff that those who persevere and endure and just refuse to give up get to experience. I definitely don't want to miss that.

Did AGM solve every problem we have? Nope. Of course it didn't. But it did remind us of the great relationships we have with colleagues, of the love we have experienced as part of this organization, and the common thread that weaves it all together--Jesus. His love for us, for our colleagues, and for the nations. What a privilege it is to work in a hard place. What a joy to know Him, to call Him friend, to love others out of the overflow of His amazing grace and love and mercy and compassion. As always, I stand amazed in the presence of the One who knows me so well and loves me, anyway. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that your season of adversity reminds you of His great love for you, and that you are enjoying the Olympics, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

No worms for breakfast

Someone said I look like I'm waiting for the punchline in this picture. With Sarah Beth, I'm always waiting for the punchline, because she is a funny, funny girl.

At Starbucks with her beloved Aunt Tina

After dessert with her beloved Aunt Stacy

If we are to trust God in adversity, we must use our minds in those times to reason through the great truths of God's sovereignty, wisdom and love as they are revealed to us in the Scriptures. We must not allow our emotions to hold sway over our minds. Rather, we must seek to let the truth of God rule over our minds. Our emotions must become subservient to the truth. --Jerry Bridges, Trusting God

I'm going to be honest--I'm not feeling it this morning. You know--it. The joy and happiness and excitement over what the day might hold, over what God has in store. Nope. I haven't slept well in a week, and I made the mistake of taking Tylenol PM last night, thinking it would make my back better. I was wrong. It just gave me a Tylenol PM hangover. And the very, very long needle that the doctor used to pump anesthetic and steroids into my lower back in order to give me pain relief has given me some pain relief, but I'm still in a great deal of pain. And Sarah Beth went back to America. And my cat died. And...well, you get the idea. It has not been a great few months for us. Poor, poor me. I think I'll go and eat worms. (That's what we used to say to the kids. Now that they're 20, 15 and 11, they don't think that's cute or funny. It just elicits an eye roll.) But seriously--have you ever had a season in which it just feels like nothing goes right? I'm in that season. Right now. This morning. And I'm kind of ready to be out of it.

When Hannah had so many problems when we first arrived in Russia, we said to her again and again, "Emotions are liars." In fact, now all you have to do is say the word emotions, and she robotically fills in 'are liars.' So how come that was the answer for her, but not for me? The answer, of course, is that it IS the answer for me. Sometimes, our emotions tells us stuff that simply isn't true. Thank goodness our emotions are not the only thing we have to rely on, right? That book I open every morning and read and study and devour says that I am never at the mercy of whatever is going on around me, that the God of Everything is in control. His plans aren't mine. His ways aren't mine. But His heart for me is true and good and merciful and gracious. He cares. He cares that my cat died. (Can you tell we're pretty devastated?) He cares that I hurt my knee two months ago, then herniated my disc. He cares about my pain. He cares that I feel yucky from two months of not vigorously exercising. He cares that Hannah didn't really want to come back to Vienna. He cares that we, as a family, are going through a dry spell. I'm not alone. And so, if I am who I say I am, and if I believe what I say I believe, I cannot live my life as one who is alone in the midst of a season of adversity. Because I'm NEVER alone. We as a family are NEVER alone. He promised. And He's proven Himself again and again to be the ultimate promise keeper. Surely there is comfort to be found in that.

And so, we trudge on. In my case, pretty slowly, but trudging still. :) Pray for us as we seek to understand what God is up to in this really weird season of our lives. We leave tomorrow for a time with some folks we really, really love and have for several years. We're praying to encourage and to be encouraged. We're praying for lots of laughter and fun and maybe even some deep conversations in which God reveals Himself. Who knows what He's up to? I know this for sure--whatever it is, I don't want to miss out on it because I'm off eating worms, too distracted by my feelings to see the truth around me. I'm not interested in that at all. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are setting aside your emotions to see the truth of God's love for you, and that you are leaving on a jet plane tomorrow to see people you love, too. Blessings to you and yours!!

His,
Kellye