Since this blog is about a couple of dogs, I thought it only appropriate to remind you how cute my cats are. This is Tasha. She's a snuggler, constantly burrowing under blankets. We love our kittens so much!!Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Psalm 23:6
I almost never write at night, because Marc is a "quality time" love language guy, and he wants to do stuff together, and since we can't write together, that doesn't work for him. Plus, because I'm such an early bird, by this time of night my brain is FRIED. Especially on nights like this, when I'm single parenting because Marc is half a world away. (Just for some perspective, Marc is further away from me than I am from you. Think on it a while.) Add a German test into the mix, and the fact that I'm not just sitting here drooling is nearly miraculous.
John has to memorize Psalm 23 for class. (By the way--if your kid isn't memorizing stuff in elementary school, you need to make sure you're doing it at home. It's an important, foundational brain skill. If you want to know more, shoot me an email and I'll explain.) So he's been practicing it all over the house. And every time I hear him working on it, I smile when he comes across the last verse. Now, the version above has it "goodness and lovingkindness," but in my brain, it's always goodness and mercy. I love the old song...surely goodness and mercy will follow me/all the days/all the days of my li-i-ife. :) And it takes me back several years--maybe a year and half before we went to Russia--so about 7 years ago, when our pastor preached a sermon series on Psalm 23. And when he got to this verse, he talked about goodness and mercy as two sheepdogs, following us around. And for whatever reason, the image stuck. I cannot hear/read/sing the 23rd Psalm without picturing two sheepdogs named Goodness and Mercy following me around.
Lately, I'm struck by just a sense of sheer contentedness. No, not everything here is perfect. Yes, we still have problems and conflicts and all that other stuff. Yes, language number 3 might just make my head explode. (Not really--it's a very learnable language...much easier than Russian.) But certainly, there's only so much room left in my brain for language, and it's getting a bit crowded. And I miss Sarah Beth and my parents and my sisters and my church...you get the idea. In other words, it's not like Moscow was terrible and Vienna is perfect, and that's why I'm content.
I'm content because God has stretched me into a contented person. My months of unhappiness in Moscow before I could settle in and be happy weren't because Goodness and Mercy had somehow lost their way. It was more that I just lost sight of them. (Maybe they are white, and I just couldn't find them in the snow!!) Have you ever been in a situation that so pulled you apart that you couldn't find yourself? That was me. I could not find me. Ask my parents--they could hear it in my voice. Many, many times they got off the phone and prayed for me. Ask them. It was rough. But I'm convinced that in every situation there is something good, something you can look at and say, "OH! There are Goodness and Mercy! Whew. I thought I'd lost them." But you have to choose to look for them.
I'm so grateful to be here. With the economic downturn and some hard financial times for our organization, I'm going to be honest--I'm really grateful. It means something to me to be here. Our life in America is good and sweet and I could be happy there, too. So it's not like there is bad and here is good. Nope. But when I choose wisely to look around at the positive things around me, I'm overwhelmed by His goodness and mercy. Great friendships. A lovely apartment. People we adore literally around the corner. A neighborhood we love. A language we are kind of getting. Neighbors who are friendly. Austrian friends. A great church. A great school. An organization that loves and takes care of my kids. Colleagues we love all over the world. Encouragement from all over the world. A husband who absolutely loves his job. Blessings all mine with ten thousand times ten thousand besides.
Remember the old, old song "To God be the Glory"? I think my sisters had a record of Kris Kristofferson singing it for some reason. For all I am/And ever hope to be/ I owe it all to Thee. When I look around, I see gifts. Everywhere, I'm surrounded by gifts from the giver of all good things, and His lapdogs, Goodness and Mercy. Anything I am, anything I will become...it's all a gift from Him. My children, my marriage, my whole life...all a gift from Him. And when I mess up--as I inevitably do, sometimes on a minute-by-minute basis--Mercy comes bounding down the street, overwhelming me with love and kindness that I don't deserve, but which I freely receive. If that is not good news, my friends, I honestly don't know what is.
Maybe you need to hear this. Maybe your situation is pretty terrible at the moment. Maybe there are some truly horrible things going on in your life. Can I encourage you for just a moment? Look around you. Really, really look. Because I am nobody special, and God does not love me better than you, so I know for 100% sure that somewhere, even in the darkness, there are signs of Goodness and Mercy at work. Maybe you're in a cancer ward. What about the kindness of your nurse? Maybe your marriage is in trouble. What about that sweet friend who is willing to listen? Maybe your child has turned into the prodigal son. What about the sweet lady at church who prays for you? Does it make everything instantly ok? No. But it gives a real perspective. Yes, this thing is terrible. This moment is awful. But I am not alone. Even in the darkest night, Goodness and Mercy are right by my side. And that, my friends, that is real comfort.
Well, I think that's all my brain can do tonight. :) So many of you have sent us sweet notes of encouragement while Marc is traveling...your kindness is just another gift from Him. Marc really loves his job so much. And just like he loved listening to me talk about teaching, I love listening to him be happy in his work. The travel is a bit rough, I'll admit, but if any of you have been married to a man unhappy in his work, you will know that it's worth it to me for him to be so, so happy. He did eat pony and frozen raw fish yesterday. He doesn't really love that part of his job. :) But I made buffalo chicken pizza tonight, and he wouldn't have liked that, either, so I guess it's no big deal. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that even in your darkest night, you can hear Goodness and Mercy sitting at your feet, and that tomorrow is your last day of language school until the fall, too. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
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