Making a case for the hard choices

My precious babies. Love them.

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

Let me start by saying this: This isn't what my life at 42 is supposed to be. First of all, by now I should be a principal of some school. I should live in a house. I should be on the praise team at my church, singing every week with my friends. I should be visiting colleges with Sarah Beth. I should be with my Mom and Daddy. That's what my life should look like at 42, according to the plans I made for myself way back when. Of course, my life looks nothing like that. I'm not a principal of any school. I volunteer at the local international school by teaching 10th grade English until their regular teacher makes it to Prague. I volunteer at my church by teaching English to preschoolers. I live in an apartment that isn't mine. I definitely don't sing on the praise team at church. In fact, I struggle to understand 50-60% of what goes on at my church. In the 2+ years since I left my home church, the only time I've sung in public was at Bella Notte at the kids' school last fall. I did not get to visit colleges with Sarah Beth, and I'll barely be back in the States in time to take her to college next summer. And though I saw my Daddy last Christmas, when he came to visit us in Moscow, I haven't seen my Momma in 2 years. Yep...life has definitely not turned out the way I planned.

Lest you think this is my version of a pity party, let me tell you that all of those things were my own choice. I chose to come to Europe. I chose to learn another language. I chose to leave my parents. I chose to leave my home church. I chose to leave my job. No one forced me to do any of those things. I chose all of them. We could go to an international church here in Prague (lots and lots of English speakers here), but we choose to go to Russian church. Not because it's the easier choice, but because it's the right choice for us. I long for and miss Russia very, very much, but I know that Prague is the right choice for us right now.

So why would I make these choices, which seem to go against the grain of everything I thought I wanted for myself and my family? Simple. The call of God is unavoidable. It's compelling. He's nothing if not persistent. Beyond His sacrifice of His own son, His grace and mercy and overwhelming love for me compel me to obedience. And obedience, for right now, means that we are often faced with the choice of what's good and what's best. None of the things I mentioned above are bad things. They were all part of the ministry I had in the States. And I firmly believe that if I'd stayed there, continuing in those things, God would have blessed them as He had for years. But I would have missed out on having a front-row seat for the display of God's miraculous nature that I've had since coming here. I would have missed out on knowing Him the way I know Him. The work here would certainly have gone on and prospered without me, but my life would be less, somehow...less than what it's supposed to be. Less than I was created to be. Less.

And so, this morning I am making a case for the hard choices. Make one choice today that you know He's asking you to make, and then watch what happens. I promise you the blessings will come. Not financial, and certainly not ease of life, but something far greater--you'll know Him more. You'll trust Him more. It doesn't mean the hard choices will get easier--that hasn't been my experience--but it does mean that you will, more and more, become the person God created you to be. That doesn't mean that He'll call you overseas, so don't panic. It also doesn't mean that what is God's best for you is God's best for someone else, so don't get too wrapped up in what other people should do, because that's probably not any of your business. (For my family, I'm channeling Miss Louise--take care of yourself, and you've got a mighty big job to do.) But it does mean that it's probably time to talk to the guy in the next desk about your faith, or the neighbor, or the kid in homeroom with you.

On a totally separate note, the leader of our company announced his retirement yesterday. Our company is infinitely better because we've been led for the last 17 years by Jerry and Bobbye Rankin, faithful folks who are the embodiment of servant leadership. My favorite story about "Uncle Jerry," as he's affectionately known among those who work with us, is that early in our training he came for a three-day session on spiritual warfare. In the middle of his first day there, he was taking questions, and he pointed to someone at the next table from us, calling him by name. At first, nobody thought anything of that, because we all had nametags. But you could feel the shock spread across the room as we all, one by one, realized that the young man who had asked the question wasn't wearing his tag. Dr. Rankin knew his name because he'd prayed for him. He'd prayed for all of us. We knew then that he was someone worth following, because it was clear who he was following. We are sad at the thought of not having the Rankins at work on behalf of the millions of people who don't know Christ, but I am confident that God will continue to use them in significant and amazing ways.

Wherever you are in the world, I challenge you to make the hard choice today, and I hope your husband is coming home from Russia, too! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Tearing down some statues

. This picture in front of Lenin's tomb really says it all, doesn't it? Hannah and Sarah Beth are giggling, John is making some kind of strange gesture, Marc is trying to look normal, and I look like I'm going to kill someone. (I was trying to look stern and Russian...but crazy was what I came up with, huh?) We are an interesting group.

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. II Corinthians 10:3-5

It is downright chilly this morning in Prague, and the cats and I are enjoying a rare quiet morning together. Our friends took John and Hannah yesterday to their house, and we are meeting them in Plzen this morning, so the house is VERY quiet. It's pretty nice, I have to tell you. Actually, the cats are sacked out on the couch, curled up with John's jacket that he left there yesterday, so I'm pretty much enjoying this time to myself. We went out to dinner last night (a rarity for us), and we just thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. I pray I will never become so accustomed to the beauty of Prague that I fail to be awed by the city at night. It truly is one of the most beautiful places in the world. Today we will get on a train to Plzen and enjoy the Czech countryside outside our window. Not a bad way to spend a morning. Of course, the big news today is that it's the start of college football season--yes, for those of you who know us, Marc IS making his famous chili for us tonight. We have plans made for an entire afternoon and evening of watching football with our friends. It's not a bad life.

Marc and Hannah returned from Poland on Tuesday, and they had a wonderful and productive trip. We are headed back to Poland for Thanksgiving, and I can hardly wait after seeing their pictures. It's gorgeous. It is definitely a perk of this life that we get to do some traveling around Europe. I began teaching English lessons on Tuesday afternoon (that is a tale for another blog), and on Friday I agreed to help fill in for an English teacher at the Christian school three blocks away. (I can't help myself. It's a sickness, really. All you have to say to me are the words 'English' and 'teacher'--it's like Batman's signal in the sky. I gotta buy a cape.) Again, that's a topic for another blog. Something interesting happened with John this week, and I really want to share it and tell you how God used it in my life.

If you have been a reader of this blog for a while, you know that John is hyperactive. Now, if you haven't dealt with hyperactive kids, you probably think that means he just has a lot of energy. He does have a lot of energy, but there are a host of other issues that come along with hyperactivity. Let me go on the record as saying that I firmly believe God created John for a purpose, and that his hyperactivity is part of that purpose. John could be the guy to cure cancer, because he does not see the same world you and I do. He has John-vision, and I thoroughly believe that some day, that is going to be a tremendous blessing not only for John, but for all of us who love him. It does, however, come with some challenges, one of which is a tendency toward obsession. John is not a let-it-go kind of guy. And the things he can't let go are often strange to me. For example, this week, it was his "statue."

John's "statue" was a plastic cup filled with water and a McDonald's toy that John put in the freezer as a science experiment. John loves science, and he often asks to "make an experiment," and as long as it isn't going to hurt him or blow anything up, I generally agree. You cannot imagine the many things that have been frozen in my freezer over the years. So when he asked to put this in the freezer to see how it would freeze, I agreed. What I didn't know was that we would spend two days checking on it every ten minutes. In the middle of math. In the middle of reading. "Can I check on my statue?" was the question of the day. I finally asked him, "John, do you think you're becoming a little obsessed with this?" "Yes, Mommy. But I just can't help myself." Finally, in what was a pretty big moment of growth for him, John came and asked if he could destroy his statue. "I just think I can't stop thinking about it if I know it's there, Mom." I agreed that this was a wise decision on his part, and then we had the fun of watching it melt and seeing how long that took. I was proud of John. It's hard for him to let go, and he did it on his own. That's big and giant for my little hyperactive boy.

It occurred to me later in the week that I could use some statue tearing down of my own. While I don't have anything in the freezer besides hamburger at the moment, there are some pretty persistent things in my thought life that keep me from being who God created me to be. Things like my perception of what I "bring to the table" on the field. Things like who I think I'm supposed to be as opposed to who God created me to be. Things like what the next step in our lives is. Those are some pretty hefty "statues" that have been keeping me metaphorically checking the freezer every ten minutes instead of focusing on this moment, on what God has laid in my lap in terms of ministry, on what my family needs from me now instead of next year. I don't know about you, but in my life, sin creeps in through my thought life. I'm unlikely to do something outrageously sinful in the eyes of the world--murder, adultery, theft--I'm probably going to leave those alone. But God sees my thought life, and His word says He is just as mortified by what He sees there as He is by those "obvious" sins. It's those things that keep me from Him, that keep me at a distance from the person I am supposed to be. And I really want to be that person. I really do.

Well, it's time for me to jump in the shower and get going. Marc is still asleep, and I have cinnamon rolls in the breadmaker to surprise him. Today is a big day for all of us--we are truly college football fanatics. I'm going to enjoy every second of it. Wherever you are in the world, I challenge you to look around at your own statues that need tearing down, and I hope that your husband is making his fabulous chili for college game day, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye