Raising up a forest

Sarah Beth and her friends Nadia and Sasha...I don't know why they are making moustaches out of their hair, but that seems to be what they're doing.

Do not fear, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, "Give them up!" and to the south, "Do not hold them back." Bring My sons from afar and My daughters from the ends of the earth, everyone who is called by My name, and whom I have created for My glory, whom I have formed, even whom I have made. Isaiah 43:5-7

I don't know about you, but I am having a fabulous morning. We have today off of school, and I have had a nice, long quiet time and two wonderful cups of coffee. Hannah just woke up, and John John is still snoring, which gives me a little bit of quiet to think about stuff. Nice! Oh, if only every morning could be this chaos-free!! Just to complete my idyllic scene--there is fresh bread baking, too. So add that to your picture of what my morning is like. Wonderful, huh?!

Yesterday was the end of daylight savings here in Russia, and the darkness has definitely descended. From now until the end of December, we will be cloaked in darkness for a good part of the day. I actually think it's around January 21st that it starts to get lighter sooner and stay light later, but I'm not sure about that date. Wonder why that sticks in my mind? Because I HATE the darkness. Hate it. I am a Southern girl, and I like my sunshine. So why did God call me to the darkest place on earth? I have asked myself that question a thousand times in the last year, and the answer I come up with time and again is that He is proving to me that nothing else matters but Him--not the darkness, not the chaos of five people in two bedrooms, not the beastly difficult Russian language--nothing. So I've spent some time this weekend thinking about all the ways in which He has proven absolutely enough for me over the last couple of years, and nothing stands out more to me than the absolute faithfulness He has shown with my children.

Picture this: you are thirteen years old. You have a great school, a great church, lots of friends, grandparents and aunts and uncles within a ten minute drive. You have a tremendously wonderful life. And then your parents drop the bomb: we think God is calling us to work overseas for Him. WHAT!!!!!?????!!!! You lock yourself in the bathroom and scream. You declare that you are NOT moving to another country. You pray that your parents get over this madness and come to their senses. But they don't. And little by little, you have to come to grips with the fact that your life is about to radically change, whether you want it to or not. That, my friends, is the tale of Sarah Beth. She had lots of opportunities to refuse to go to Russia. Our candidate consultant gave her a card and told her that if she wanted, at any point, to put a halt to this process, all she had to do was call him. But she didn't. Instead, she chose to live in Prague for six weeks and work for the company in order to get some overseas experience. She loved it, but it cost her many friends in our small town in Florida. And when I became absolutely enraged at the nasty notes they were leaving her on myspace (things like "go ahead and leave; nobody here cares, anyway."), she understood that they were from a small town and were doing the best they could to deal with her leaving. She rarely hears from anyone in the States, but she doesn't worry about it. She has totally embraced her friends in various parts of the world, kids living the same experience she is living. She has lots and lots of friends here--even more than she did back home. She has stretched herself to play soccer, to learn a new language, to take a photography class totally in Russian. And did she do all of that because she's just this tremendous person? No. She's a great girl, for sure, but none of that comes from her own strength. She has very ordinary teenage girl feelings and fears, to be sure. But she knows that God is faithful, and that whatever she has given up to be here and to follow Him, He has repaid in a thousand different ways.

On Thursday, Sarah Beth left on a 14-hour train ride to the Western Ural mountains to work with the Udmurts, an unreached people group who were the focus of the 2007 International Day of Prayer. She went to take pictures for Marc, because she is a tremendous photographer. But she ended up working in the villages with Udmurti women, ministering to them, loving them, and even taking a banya with them. (Don't ask. Just know it's not anything I would have ventured into at 16.) She even spent a night in a different village from her dad. (She was with another MK, and they stayed with Udmurti believers.) Now I'm sure that some of that scared her. It's a difficult thing at any age to venture where they don't speak your language at all and you have only a rudimentary knowledge of their language. (Although, in all fairness, her Russian teacher says she's a magnificent language student. It was her highest grade this quarter, and I'm pretty sure that my Russian teacher wouldn't have given me that high of a grade.) But when I talked to her last night as she was on the train headed west to Moscow, she was giddy with the experience. She loved every second. She's ready to go back tomorrow. The same girl who a couple of years ago locked herself in the bathroom and screamed is now ready to move to the village to work for Jesus. And I would love to tell you that it's because she has magnificent parents, but that's definitely not it. But she does have parents who trusted God to be faithful to them and to her. And He has been so faithful.

I'm sure at times it seems that I am bragging about my kids, and I certainly have a lot to be proud of in each of them, but that's not my intention. I want to encourage you with their stories. We are such ordinary jars of clay, but God has been so faithful to us in the ways He is growing up olive trees around our table. Sometimes, when I look at them in my own strength, I don't see olive saplings--I see weeds! But when I look at them through His eyes, and I trust His compassion and mercy and love for them--I am speechless as I see the people they are daily becoming. I don't know your situation. I don't know about your children. But I do know this--if He can work in the lives of our kids like He has, He can certainly be trusted with whatever your situation is. We aren't the super-saved. He doesn't love us more than you. I pray that today, you would trust Him with your kids and then see the gorgeous things He does with them. I promise it will take your breath away. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that He is raising up mighty trees for you, too, and that your husband and daughter are only a couple of hours away from the city. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

But who are you?

I just think this is a cute pic of John John. We'd just arrived back in Moscow, and he was happy to be on the ground again.

But also some of the Jewish exorcists, who went from place to place, attempted to name over those who had the evil spirits the name of the Lord Jesus, saying, "I adjure you by Jesus whom Paul preaches." Seven sons of one Sceva, a Jewish chief priest, were doing this. And the evil spirit answered and said to them, "I recognize Jesus, and I know about Paul, but who are you?" Acts 19: 13-15

Okay, so some days you get up, and you just know--it's going to be one of those days. This entire week has been one of those days. We had company stay with us a couple of days. We had language. We had fifty thousand things at school for the kids, meaning I had to do the four-mile walk twice-a-day for two days. But Thursday took the cake. On Thursday, I went to school, rushed home for language, had to figure out where the driver was who was trying to pick up our houseguests to get them to the airport, and get Marc and S.B. ready to leave for a trip to Udmurtia (in the western Ural mountains). As I was talking to a friend, the phone went dead. And then the internet went down, because it's attached to the phone. And we had to leave right then to get to school so Marc and Sarah Beth could leave and I could walk the two younger kids home. So I was without phone and internet for about twenty-four hours, which is no big deal, except that it's my main means of communication with the outside world, so I'm not thrilled about it being down and being isolated. Luckily, it was a pretty easy fix--they had placed our payment under another account, but Marc had kept the receipt, so they apologized and fixed it pretty quickly (at least by Russian standards). Marc and Sarah Beth survived (and even enjoyed) the 14-hour train ride to Udmurtia, and they are having a great time. Sarah Beth is working in one of the villages today and spending the night with another MK and some volunteer women. Marc is headed to the banya tonight with some men (don't ask--just imagine a sauna plus freezing cold water plus a branch of really hard sticks--it's an uniquely Russian experience). All-in-all, they are thoroughly enjoying ministering in rural Russia, which is, as my teacher always says, the REAL Russia. Moscow is Moscow, sort of its own country. But I read a statistic recently that said that 70% of the rest of Russia (outside the major cities) still doesn't have indoor plumbing. Isn't that amazing? Russia has many different faces, that's for sure. And for those of us who live in the mega-city, it's refreshing to go out to the village and realize that our perception of who Russians really are is decidedly one-sided.

I'm studying Ephesians right now, hence the passage above. I know, it's in Acts, but I'm reading in Acts about Paul's time in Ephesus. It's really an interesting study for me, because Ephesus was a huge commercial center, and they were especially known at that time for the temple of Artemis, which I believe was one of the 7 wonders of the ancient world. There are many parallels to Moscow. So it's really interesting and encouraging to me to study how Paul ministered in a mega-city of his day. And I really believe that a reality of this city is evil spirits. Now, I'm not really well-versed in this kind of stuff, so don't mark this down as coming from some theological scholar. But I can tell you this--when you land at an airport in Moscow, you can feel the spiritual oppression come on like a heavy, heavy coat. We have, as a family, struggled with this oppression for a year. We see it in our relationship with one another, with our struggles with sadness and "the blues," in disappointment after disappointment in ministry. I have no doubt whatsoever that we have been under attack again and again. So far, we've survived, but only by the grace of God. Only He can take anyone through the kind of spiritual warfare we've been through in the past year and bring them out on the other side intact. And I hope that no spirit would say, "I know about Jesus, and I've heard of Ed (or Buck or Andy or whomever), but who are you?" I don't want to just survive this time in my life. I want to thrive and be victorious. I want the evil spirits that I know inhabit this city to cower, because they know exactly who I am, who we are. I don't totally have a grasp on thriving here, but I know that nothing happens to me or to us without first being sifted through the fingers of the One who loves us most. And so I don't think thriving is impossible. Maybe we aren't there, yet, but it's not impossible. In the meantime, I'm content with just being content.

Well, I should run. I'm trying to get some things done today as a surprise for Marc when he comes back. Things like having everything clean and together, having the laundry done, and finally putting away all the spices that have been sitting in a box in the breakfast nook for...well, let's just say longer than they should have been sitting in that box. I just talked to Sarah Beth--they sound like they are thoroughly enjoying their time together in Udmurtia. Pray for their safe return, and for a great time of renewal for both of them. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that your name is on the enemy's ten-most-wanted list, and that you are looking forward to a day of getting things done. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

I want His best, not His easiest

Our family with the Lewis family...I don't know what they're all staring at on the computer, nor do I know where John and Laini were...probably building a ladder out of bed pillows somewhere.
John-John with his beloved friend, Laini. This is the closest relationship I have ever seen between a 6 and 7-year-old.
Marc and Larry. What great encouragement for each other these two are. Iron sharpens iron...
I'm not joking...this is what Moscow looked like when we arrived back in town. You can't see the deluge of rain, but trust me it's there. So we left sunny, beautiful Prague and returned home to this...God has a sense of humor, but it's one I don't get sometimes.

Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving; praying at the same time for us as well, that God will open up to us a door for the word, so that we may speak forth the mystery of Christ, for which I have also been imprisoned; that I may make it clear in the way I ought to speak. Colossians 4:2-4

I don't know about you, but I am enjoying a peaceful, wonderful Saturday morning. Hannah is talking to someone on Skype, John-John and Marc are still asleep, Sarah Beth is at the high school retreat for her school, and I have had a great time with God. I woke up to the smell of fresh-baked bread (I picked out my breadmaker yesterday--a birthday present from Marc) and am enjoying a great cup of coffee. Honestly, does it get better than this?

I cannot say it's been a great week since we arrived back from Prague. It hasn't. It's been hard and a little depressing, to be honest. It was hard to leave Prague. Very hard. And Marc and I have spent the last few days talking about all the changes that are possibly coming our way due to the restructuring at our company, how that will impact our future, where we would go if we could go anywhere...those sorts of things. And while I think it's good to dream and wish and think about the future, I also think it can be dangerous. Reality is that we are here, in Moscow, right now. Reality is that no matter what God has for us in the future, He has us here in the present. Marc had the great opportunity to meet with the head of the Czech Baptist Union and some Russian church planters who are coming to various parts of western Czech Republic to plant Russian-speaking churches. So is that God pulling us toward a different place but the same people group? Or is that God, testing us with the temptation of going someplace else, when here is so hard? Is He poking around in our deepest soul to help us figure out what we really want?

Czech Republic is a tempting place for us. It's one of the most beautiful places on earth, the people are friendly (by Eastern European standards, not American), it's an EU country, so it's easy to get in and out of...the list could go on for quite a while. But the biggest item on the list, by far, is that our dear friends, the Lewises, are there. I don't think we're sinful because we wish we were nearer to people we are close to, because I am convinced that God put our families together for His purposes. Larry and Melissa encourage us, keep us accountable, love us, have fun with us, and pray for us. The relationship between our two families is a gift from God without question. So hear me when I say that it's not the relationship that's hard, because it's not. But I've come to realize this week that the temptation for us is to compare our lives with others and to focus on what we don't have. And one of the things we don't have here, at least not yet, is another family that is so close to us that they're like family. Don't get me wrong--we have friends here, and we love them and are grateful for them. But our closer-than-friends friends are all in other places. And sometimes, not always, we are really lonely here. And lonely is so hard, isn't it?

Here is what God is teaching me right now, here in Moscow: His best and what is easy are not always, or even usually, the same thing. It would be easier for us to be somewhere else than Russia. Russia is just a hard place for us. It would be easier for us to be somewhere else, where we have close friends who could support us through the real problems of transition and culture shock. No field is easy, so please hear my heart when I say that I don't think any place is an easy place to minister, because the easy mission field doesn't exist. But to be somewhere where visa issues weren't a constant concern, where we have close, close friends, where friends and family could visit without doing paperwork for nearly a year...that sounds easier to me. So does that mean that God is going to release us from the call to Russia? so that our lives can be easier? I'm thinking the answer is a resounding "NO!" While the last year has been the hardest of my life, bar none, it has also been the year of biggest growth in my Christian life. I have learned more about God's faithfulness, His mercy, His compassion in the last year than I have in all the other 39 years combined. I know Him more. I know myself more. And while I am not satisfied that God's work in my life is finished, I am satisfied that He is at work. I don't always understand what He is doing, but I see His mighty hand clearly at work all around me. So what I am praying for every day is this: not His easiest path for me, but His best path for me. I know from experience that His best is far better than I can comprehend. And that's what I'm yearning for in my life--His best.

I must get moving. It's 10:00, and I have a thousand things to do before the day is over. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that your soul is aching for God's best, and that the Oklahoma Sooners have a better day today than they did last Saturday! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Fulfilling the ministry

Hannah, Larissa, and Sarah Beth at the Grandhotel Pupp (yep, that's pronounced in the most unfortunate way) in Karlovy Vary, Czech Republic.

More Karlovy Vary. This was our favorite place, and my pictures definitely don't do it justice. You'll have to check Marc's blog for better pics. Just suffice to say--God's handiwork is evident everywhere you look in this gorgeous spa town on the German border.

But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. II Timothy 4:5

In a few hours, the taxi will be here to pick us up and take us to the Prague airport, where we will catch a plane and fly back to Moscow. We've had two weeks here, and we've thoroughly enjoyed every second of our time. We've seen old friends, beloved friends, friends who are more like family, and I am grateful to God for the chance to do that. I'm also grateful to work for a company that provides time for us to decompress, because that's exactly what we did here.

I won't lie...it's hard to go back. It's hard to understand what God is doing. Why couldn't we be called where our friends are called? I am not a girl who has to have a big group of friends, but it would be nice if they could be in the same country, at least. But that's not where we are right now. We are in Moscow, and that's where God has called us for this moment in our lives. Forever? I have no clue. Maybe yes, maybe no. But I know that I would rather be where God has called me than any other spot in the universe, no matter how beautiful or how many friends I have there. And so back to Moscow I go.

We have visited some of the most beautiful places in Europe while on this trip. Honestly, if you've never been to the Czech Republic, you must consider a trip here. Prague is gorgeous, and the cities around the country are equally, if not more, beautiful. But the best thing about being here, bar none, was the opportunity to be with our friends. We have encouraged and been encouraged, loved and been loved, cried for and been cried with, prayed for and been prayed with...everything a group as close as ours could have wanted. And I am thankful beyond words.

I must run and finish packing. We have some really neat things to take home and we came in way under budget--yea for us! Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you have time to decompress with people you adore, and that your flight today is on time. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

He is good beyond my imagination

John-John and his wonderful friend, Laini, taking a break as we did some sight-seeing in Prague.
Sarah Beth, Hannah, and some of their MK cousins, resting on a stone wall in Karlshtein castle, a beautiful place about 45 minutes outside of Prague.
Marc and his friends (I tend to call them "the boys"--as in "have you talked to the boys this week?) discuss deep, meaningful things. How grateful I am for these men.

How great is Your goodness, which You have stored up for those who fear You, which You have wrought for those who take refuge in You before the sons of men! You hide them in the secret place of Your presence from the conspiracies of man; You keep them secretly in a shelter from the strife of tongues. Blessed be the LORD, for He has made marvelous His lovingkindness to me in a besieged city. Psalm 37: 19-21

We have been in Prague for over a week now, and I realize I have not blogged at all. The Ebenezer conference we are here to attend was great, but busy, and I didn't have enough regular internet access to really even post a blog if I could have gotten one written. Plus, just to be transparent and honest, I was having way too much fun to sit at my computer and blog.

There is too much to say about Ebenezer, and I haven't really processed all of it, yet. It was a good conference in terms of what was discussed. We got some more information about the IMB reorganization that's coming, which looks more and more like it will impact our lives, if not this term then the next. I would ask you to pray for the company as those in charge restructure the way we approach the ever-changing world. I have to say that I like a lot of what I hear. As far as the conference, I think I'll just leave it at that. It was a good conference.

Of course, for us the best thing about our trip has been being with our friends from around the world. Unbelievable to me that we've been apart for a year, just because when we're together it seems like we're still all living within twenty feet of one another. And our time has been a reminder to me of how good God is to us, how He showers us with more than we deserve or could even think to ask for. Our friendships within this company are a perfect example.

Several years ago, we had a group of very close friends. We did things together, called each other on the phone, spent weekends socializing, even did some ministry together. I was in hog heaven, because we hadn't really had tons of friends like that over the years, and I just thought this was as good as life could possibly get. And then, suddenly, we didn't have those friends. Everyone else in the group remained in the group, but Marc and I were sort of shunned all of a sudden. And it wasn't one of those things where, over time, you kind of grow apart. I mean one day we were a part of the group, and the next day, we were told we were not welcome anymore. And we were told that it was not something we'd done, but an attitude of insincerity in our love for Christ. I was beyond shocked. I didn't know we could judge other people's sincerity for Christ. I felt like we were sincere. So without going into too much detail, we found ourselves incredibly alone. There were people who would not speak to us. How do you explain that to your kids? Not easily, I have to tell you. And while we healed (Marc way faster than I), in my mind I vowed that we simply would not ever allow that to happen again. Friendships, in my opinion, weren't worth the pain of rejection.

So we went through the process to be appointed, growing and stretching ourselves outside of the realm of what we thought possible, and the situation with that set of friends healed. I have to honestly tell you that I put my guard up and didn't want to be close to those people again, but the relationships were healed. I could walk into church and not bristle at their presence. I could be in Sunday School with them and not be distracted by the pain I felt. I could speak to them kindly and really care about what was happening in their lives. But I had not desire whatsoever for anything beyond that. And we certainly developed other relationships with other families that were really nice, and would probably have deepened had we stayed in the U.S.

Somewhere along the way, about the time we got to FPO, God just started to shower us with friends. I don't mean the kind of friends you go to lunch with and enjoy it and that's the end of that. I mean deep friendships, to the core friendships, the kind of friendships I'd thought I had before, but realize now aren't even comparable. The kind of friendships that encourage and build each other up with no concern whatsoever for protecting your heart. The kind of friendships that ask how you're doing and then sit to listen and pray over the answer. The kind of friendships where you love each other's children with abandon, where in a group you know someone has your children, because you have someone else's. The kind of friendships that my heart longed for, but my mind resisted. The thing about these friendships, though, is that they are such a gift from God that it's impossible to resist them. How can anyone resist people who love them as much as these people love us? Impossible.

We were lying in the dark one night (probably not sleeping because of the beds...Holiday Inn can't open a hotel or two in Europe?), and Marc commented on these friendships we have. And his remark was absolutely perfect. He said they were proof that God is good beyond what we can imagine. We didn't even really want friendships, hoping to keep ourselves completely protected from the pain they can cause. But God knew that the deepest desires of our hearts were wrapped around connection, and He provided all we thought we'd lost with more heaped on top. He provided a way for us to survive on the field through these people we love. He provided encouragement and laughter and love and accountability...blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside. And for me, personally, to watch Marc be so close to other men again, to listen to him with people he really considers his brothers and it's not just a word or a title or a boastful thing but a relationship...I don't have the words for how grateful I am to the giver of all good things for His faithfulness, His goodness that is beyond my capability for words.

Never have I felt I did a poorer job of describing what's on my heart than in this post. However, I felt like I had to write and remind you (and myself) of how God blesses us beyond what we even hope for or ask for from Him. I am so grateful to Him for the ways in which He has grown and stretched me through a terrible situation, one that I will always believe was not of His making, but that He used to turn us into the people we are today. I'm not the same person I was when that group decided we couldn't be a part of them anymore. And you know what? I'm glad I'm not that person anymore. I haven't finished the race, as Paul termed it, but I do think I'm way further down the road than I was in those years of my life. Anyway, wherever you are in the world, I pray that God has showered you with blessings beyond what you could even imagine, and that you have a good pair of tennis shoes for walking on the cobblestones. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye