Praise to the LORD, the Almighty...

I just wanted to show you some before and after pics of my recent kitchen reorg. This is before. If you know me, can you imagine me living in this universe???

After: Thank goodness for IKEA bins. I have them EVERYWHERE.

Praise to the LORD, the Almighty, the King of creation. O my soul praise Him, for He is thy health and salvation. All ye who hear, now to His temple draw near. Gladly forever adore Him.

It's a gray morning in Vienna, Austria, but there are smiles in the Hooks household, because Marc is on his way home to us. I do not hate it when he goes, because he truly adores his work more than you can imagine, but I love it when he comes home. Some day, when we are empty nesters, I will go with him, and that will be a glorious day. But for now, I'm enjoying not being an empty nester and watching him settle into the shoes God created just for his feet.

If you've been married a long time (we'll celebrate 21 years this summer), you know (I pray!) the joy of the happiness of your spouse. You probably also know the great burden of watching your spouse struggle. In our 21 married years, I've watched both. And I'm thankful for the struggling times, because they make this moment in time so sweet for us. For years, I knew Marc was talented and gifted, that he loved people, that he loved God, but he never seemed to find the perfect fit for him. This life, his work, his travel, his love for Europe and Europeans, his commitment to the gospel...this is the life he was made for. It is the perfect fit. I would not give up his happiness in his work for any white picket fence in America. I really wouldn't. It is an immense joy and privilege and blessing to watch as he settles into the perfect life for which God created him. It really is. But I'm glad he's coming home. :)

I've been thinking lately so much about the great blessings that God has given us. Of course, our family is close--our children (though they fight like any other siblings) deeply love one another. They communicate with one another across continents, giving advice, sometimes arguing, telling each other little secrets. That is a joy beyond words for me. I have a tremendous marriage. He is my very, very favorite person in the world, my best friend, my closest ally, my biggest cheerleader. Our relationship with my parents and sisters...beyond words. I cannot imagine more supportive parents than both mine and Marc's. Never a hint that we should come home. Never a complaint that they don't see us every day. I try to never take for granted their sacrifice.

At home in Florida, we have a great church that loves us. Sweet cards, precious messages, encouragement beyond words, faithful prayer warriors...all reside at First Baptist Middleburg. We have partner churches across the U.S. who love us and care for us and encourage us. Here in Vienna, we attend a church that we are growing so fond of, too, grateful for the voices of so many nations raised in worship of our great God. We have a great school, where our children are making relationships and receiving a very good education. I'm so impressed by the Bible study and worship materials Hannah is working her way through in preparation for leaving for Bosnia next week. Oh, my goodness...real thought, real study went into making a challenging, stretching Bible study for the kids. She came home yesterday from training time for the team with an absolute glow about her--so happy with the team, with the work they are preparing for, with the incredible adults who are making the trip, too. What a blessing to have adults who so deeply invest in my kids.

We have a wonderful apartment in a great neighborhood in Vienna. Little by little, we are making relationships here. Little by little, we are learning the myriad little secrets our city holds--here in the center of European culture for so many years. Beautiful cathedrals, lovely streets, so many things to learn as we work to understand this place and these people. We have beloved colleagues all over the world. We love our work. We love the people with whom we work. There is a Starbucks at our mall. (Though I'm learning to love Viennese coffee and cafes far more than anything Starbucks has ever brewed.) There is a grocery store across the street! Blessings, blessings, blessings...

On a deeper level than any convenience Vienna could offer, this place that we did not necessarily want to come to is teaching us about being where you are. It's teaching us about loving and being broken for those God puts in front of you, regardless of the language they speak. It's convicting us about boldness and courage and dreaming bigger than is reasonable for a city, for a people. I'm reading the gospels, studying the words and actions of my Jesus closely, and one phrase keeps tearing at me: "And Jesus was moved by compassion for the people..." So many times, I'm not moved by compassion. He wept over Jerusalem. I walk the same path in my neighborhood every single day. When was the last time I was so moved by compassion for the lostness of my neighbors that I wept? Vienna is teaching me about compassion, about loving people, about being broken. Those are priceless, precious gifts, incredible blessings that I would not trade for being where I would have chosen.

On this cloudy, gray Vienna morning, I'm feeling grateful for a place where I'm being asked to stretch and grow and be content. And what I'm finding is that a true choice to be grateful makes little problems, small tensions, and even big issues fade in their importance. And I'm grateful for that, too. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are grateful for the big and little blessings of your life, and that your apartment is starting to smell like Cracker Barrel hashbrown casserole, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Some days...

I like this one--Han with curly hair. And thanks, sissy, for the Christmas present--she loves her JBU sweatshirt!

King Boris. He thinks he runs the place. :)

I'll give You everything I have, because I was undeserving, and You chose me. --Your Favor by Elevation Worship

So, let's be clear. It was all good until I went out to exercise. You see, I've been stuck in the apartment since Sunday with something that looked suspiciously like the flu (YUCK!), and today was going to be my day to get out and about. And what better way to do that than to exercise and walk around the neighborhood? So I was all good until that decision.

For a while, everything went well. I was listening to music, walking along, smiling at the dogwalkers, saying an occasional hello to folks I always see when I walk. And then, out of nowhere, I found myself with tears running down my face. DO YOU KNOW HOW NUTS THAT MAKES ME LOOK?!?!?!?! Completely nuts. So what happened? Well...it was (as it often is) a song that did me in. It was the song I quoted above, the song that Hannah sang at Marc's ordination at our church right before we came back to Europe. It was that song, you see. And it's not just the song, though it's gorgeous, and I love the sentiment--Your favor follows me. Your kindness leads me to a hope I cannot see. C'mon. Nothing wrong with that. It's all good stuff, right? But in my mind's eye, I could hear Hannah singing it. I could picture my parents as they sat there listening. I could see Sarah Beth crying as she listened to her sister, the baby she wanted to be a 'bruvver,' but who has grown up to be her friend. I didn't see it that night, the crying. People told me later. They said, "I was okay until I looked over and saw Sarah Beth sobbing over her sister. It was too much for me." And in my mind, I could clearly see that. Sarah Beth crying, heartbroken over the loss of her sister to a life that inevitably takes us away. And it was too much for me. So there I was, crying as I walked the streets of my neighborhood.

You know what we tell people? The people in churches who always say, "Thank you for your sacrifice"? We almost always tell them it's not a sacrifice. Or maybe we say that it doesn't seem like a sacrifice, this life that we--honestly--love and are so clearly called to. Don't read anything I'm about to say and take away the idea that we aren't called or that we're doubting that call. That's not it at all. But I'm going to be transparent and clear and--gasp!--vulnerable for a second. It's a sacrifice. Right now, this moment in time, this place in my life...it is a sacrifice. It is MUCH harder this time. No doubt about it. Leaving Sarah Beth on one continent while we are on another...it's awful. She is sick with some kind of bug right now. She wants her Momma. I hate it. I hate being away from her. I miss my parents terribly. Every single day. I miss my sisters. I miss my life. But most of all, I miss my baby. It makes my heart ache. And it makes me cry on the streets of the city I'm called to love.

And this can take an ugly turn, if I let it. It can go from "I'm homesick," to "So-and-so never calls. They don't even think about us," in about two seconds flat. And that turns into, "It must be nice to get to live down the street from your kid/parents/church. Wish God let ME do that." Oh, and THAT is dangerous territory, isn't it? To be flippant and ugly to the God of the Universe is no little thing. To doubt that what He has for us--even in the desperate missing of our girl, even in her loneliness for us--it is as close to blasphemy as I can imagine. Do you know the blessings of my life? Do you know the absolute shower of goodness He rains on me daily? He meets me at ridiculous times of the morning EVERY DAY to sit and have a cup of coffee. He listens to me. He gave me Marc and Sarah Beth and Hannah and John John. He gave me Ken and Betty and Kay and Cathy and all the names that go with those names...a close family...not distant relations...not call on holidays kind of family. I have REAL family. Blessings all mine. All mine. All bestowed from the giver of all good gifts. Who am I to question? Who am I to resent?Who, exactly, do I think I am in the face of who He absolutely is?

It doesn't surprise God that I'm homesick. It doesn't shock Him that I miss my girl or that Han and John miss their sister terribly. Nope. One of my favorite songs says it perfectly--all this was just part of Your glorious design. How can I, in the face of His incredible plan for my life, say anything but, "Hallelujah. Amen." I will not walk down the road of bitterness and comparison. I will choose to be grateful for the thousand blessings that are undeservedly mine. And I'll hope that my neighbors don't think I'm completely nuts. :) Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you know that He is still God, even when you're sick and want your Momma, and that you are making dinner for a much beloved friend, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

What I've learned...and what I'm learning

Hannah working at the U.N. Bazaar in December. I'm not sure what the face is about.

Hannah and her friends working the White Elephant Sale at the Bazaar.

The sign outside the entrance. The bazaar benefits women's and children's charities the U.N. supports around the world.

So we will be brought one by one to the testing place, and we may never know when we are there. At that testing place there will be no dozen possible choices for us; just one and an alternative, but our whole future will be conditioned by the choice we make. --A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God

I'm going to be honest--I'm on cup of coffee number 3, and I'm enjoying sitting on my living room couch (in Marc's spot, which is akin to Sheldon's in Big Bang Theory), sipping my coffee and having some quiet. I've gotten the kids out the door to school successfully, and (unfortunately) Marc is asleep after a terrible night of feeling really sick. I medicated him about 4a.m., and he finally went to sleep. Poor guy. But the apartment is quiet (even the kids next door just left for school), and I have a few minutes to think and write before I tackle the unenviable job of reorganizing my kitchen.

You might be thinking to yourself, "Golly, Kellye. You just moved there in October and you're already reorganizing?" Well, you make a fair point there. However, because we got here in October and the kids went immediately to school, I pretty much just threw my kitchen stuff wherever it would fit. I didn't really have much of a plan, especially about food storage. So, before I start language school on February sixth and become totally nuts trying to learn German, I thought it important to impose some kind of systemic change on the kitchen. Because guys...it's a mess. Not dirty. Just completely disorganized. I can't stand it. So we went yesterday and bought shelves at IKEA for the sunroom, and I think I'm going to store those things I don't use very often (esp. appliances) there in order to free up some room. Pray for me. It's a big, big job.

But that's not really what I wanted to write about. I was going to John's doctor last night to pick up a prescription, and it was the first time I'd gone on foot, giving me lots of time to think. (Sometimes that's a good thing. Sometimes...well, you know.) I was making the change from one line of the Ubahn to another, and I had never done that particular change before. But it didn't phase me a bit to do something new, go someplace I'd never gone, and it really made me start thinking about all the things I've learned living in Europe. I thought that might be an interesting thing to share with you, so here goes. Some, by the way, are not very deep. I didn't want you to be surprised. :)

--How to navigate any place. Even if I don't read/speak/understand the language, I can pretty much follow/figure out any sign there is. I actually realized this when I was in London, got us lost, and then figured out how to get back to where we wanted to be. Best of all, my kids have learned this lesson. I have to believe that will be a benefit to them in whatever life they choose.

--The joys of IKEA. I'd never been to an IKEA in my life until I moved to Europe. Everything in one place at decent prices is just more happiness that I can explain. Plus, you have to love any place on earth you can still get a hot dog and drink for less than $2.

--The fun of new foods. Every place we've lived has had something new that our family has really liked and added to the lineup of tacos and spaghetti that tend to populate our dinner menus. (Less spaghetti now that we work at eating lower carbs) In Russia, we learned to love the blini. In Czech Republic, it was fried cheese. (No, it's not like mozzarella sticks. It's WAY better.) In Austria, it's schnitzel. There is a lot of fun to be had just trying new stuff. Plus, it often gives us some of the best stories. (Remember the time Dad ate reindeer tongue pizza? YUCK!)

--Humility. Feel really good about how smart you are? Move somewhere you don't speak the language. Try to communicate. Then try to learn the language. See how that feeling smart thing works out for you.

--Gratefulness for the small stuff. Our lives are populated every day by small blessings. My favorite creamer from America. Flannel sheets my parents sent. Bath and Body Works lotions and spray. Cushy socks my friend sent. Little notes and cards from kids at church. A kind email. Someone just remembering we're here and checking on us. In a life that is sometimes overwhelmingly stressful, it's very often the little blessings that keep us from the tipping point where we just can't take it anymore.

--Letting go. Urgh. As Sarah Beth would say, "I'm working on it." This is a toughy for me, especially when something has been done to someone I love. It's hard, isn't it? But holding on to hurts is an insidious tool of the enemy. It's not big. It's not showy. It's the inner working of the heart, so who can know? But I know that holding on to things is a path to bitterness and ugliness that, frankly, ruins lives and careers. I'm not interested in it. But it's definitely an in-process thing for me.

--Being where we are. I've talked about missing Russia, and I do miss Russia. I miss Russia and Russians and my American friends in Russia. And there is nothing inherently wrong with that. But I'm here. In Austria. Not in Russia. And if I let my fond feelings for my time in Russia keep me from planting roots here, from learning this language, from understanding and embracing this culture, or from loving these people, then I've taken a drastic step in the wrong direction in terms of God's plan for my life. Because I'm here. So we can still be the 'Russia guys,' but we better work hard to also be the 'Austria guys.'

--Relying only on Him. Tozer talks about the spiritual disease of self-confidence. My self-confidence was stripped away in Russia. Smile. Sometimes a terrible road leads you somewhere beautiful. It's not that I feel terrible about myself, or think I'm incapable of making my own way. But I've tasted and seen what complete reliance on a loving, compassionate Father can bring, and it beats relying on myself any day of the week. So I plan and I work the plan (my family will smile when they read that, because I ALWAYS say that when we go somewhere), but when it doesn't work out, I know He has it. Because He always has it. Sometimes I forget. But I always come back to it eventually--without Him, my life is a mess. With Him, my life is the most amazing adventure. I'll choose the adventure. :)

Well, I hear stirring. I'm hoping that means he's miraculously healed. Or at least that he can move without hurting. Wherever you are in the world, I challenge you to think through what you've learned and what you're learning, and that your kitchen doesn't need reorganizing. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

All about Him

One of the great joys of my life is the deep friendship between Marc and my Daddy.

The four of us at my Aunt Angie and Uncle Raleigh's house in Clarksville, Tennessee--will I ever get used to "the four of us" instead of "the five of us"? About the time I do, it will be "the three of us."

Since I write constantly about them, I thought it might be nice for you to see my sisters and parents. This is the five of us at my aunt and uncle's house in Tennessee. My sister, Cathy, is on the left, and Kay is in the middle.

It's all about You, Jesus. And all this is for You, for Your glory and Your fame. --Jesus, Lover of my Soul

Well, it's the new year, and I'm ready to get back into a regular routine. Our kids don't go back to school until the 9th, and I think they are ready for normal, too. It's been a good break, we've had fun with each other and with friends, but now it's kind of enough. Know what I mean? But the turn of the new year is always a time for contemplation and reflection--not resolutions, necessarily, because I don't think that generally works to make a change--and I thought I'd share some of the things I'm working on in 2012.

--Scripture memorization--I have done some memorization in the past, but not enough. The more I know God's Word, the more I understand and can utilize it's real, legitimate power over the darkness that can sometimes seem overwhelming. If I'm going to claim every thought for Christ, I need something else to put in its place to roam around my brain--and Scripture seems like a good choice.

--Positive instead of negative--I've spent too much time recently on what is difficult and hard. It's okay to think through and pray through those things, but concentrating on them alone is a recipe for discontent. And by the way--I live in the world's best city to live in, according to recent news articles and surveys--so what am I complaining about? :) Seriously, there's a lot of good here, and definitely ministry to be done. Looking at the good, not the bad, cannot hurt anything or anybody.

--Concentrating on home--It is weird for me to introduce myself as a "hausfrau," but it's what I am. I'm a housewife. And while there is definitely lots of ministry to be done outside my home, my first priority has to be the ministry inside my home. Keeping our home running smoothly is a full-time job. Taking care of Marc so that he can do the things he's here to do--beyond a full-time job. And you know what? I'm finding that there is a great deal of joy and fun to be had in this ministry to those with whom God has entrusted me.

--Reflection and quiet in my quiet time--I'm such a checklist girl. It's so easy to study my Bible and pray because it's what I'm supposed to do. You know what I mean--feeling that you've done your duty because you have spent 15 minutes telling God what you need. (Okay, I spend more than 15 minutes, but that doesn't make a checklist mentality any better!!) I have been really convicted recently that my quiet time isn't always very quiet. In other words, I do most of the talking and almost none of the listening. God isn't my therapist. It's not about me. It's about Him. I need to close my mouth and listen. I am convicted of my immense need for more of God, not to know more about Him.

--A broken heart--It's not about a place. It's not even about being called to love a specific people. It's about a broken heart for those who don't know Him. If I am honest, it's easy to be drawn in by the polite nature of Austrians and forget that they are lost. Lord, help me see the world as You see it, with Your heart. If that is my prayer, I cannot help but weep for the lost of this beautiful city--no matter which beautiful city I happen to be in at the moment.

--Boldness--I cannot be satisfied with only an incarnational witness. It can't just be me living here, making relationships, and never bringing up spiritual things. It is easy to be quiet about Jesus in order not to offend. But you know what? He's offensive to everything this world is about. It's not enough to just live a good life. Lots of people who are going to hell are living good lives by the standard of this world. It's not enough. Lord, Lord...let my words in front of You be few, but let my words about You be many.

There are more things on my list, but they are too personal to share in a public format. It's enough, I think, to say this: I want 2012 to be a year in which I make much of Jesus. I want to make Him the focus, the center. If I do, I know that everything else in my life will hold together. Because, you see, it really is all about Him. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that your 2012 is going to be all about Him, and that you are looking forward to a day of getting things done, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye