What true love is really waiting for

Sarah Beth and her sweet DJ

The Han and John John

Me and my sweet man

Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23

Ah, Valentine's Day. Marc and I celebrated last night--I made him his favorite homemade pizza, and we watched tv shows on our DVR in Texas. Sarah Beth flew home to Florida last night to celebrate with her DJ--a gift from us to them for Christmas. It makes me smile to think of them together--their sweetness to one another is smile-inducing, to say the least. What Momma doesn't want to see her child happy in love? It's a new season, a different season, but it's certainly a sweet season. And with an almost-16-year-old daughter and an almost-12-year-old son in the house, we certainly are thinking--A LOT--about love. (If you want to know how to successfully flip your hair or the importance of brushing your tongue in order to be more attractive to the ladies, by the way--John John is the guy to talk to. OH, MY!!) Put that together with the news that True Love Waits--an abstinence program from the nineties--is coming back into 'vogue' with churches, and it got me to thinking about what true love is really waiting for in the end.

I have a secret for every teenaged boy who is wondering what in the world girls are interested in: look at their facebook page. If you go to Han's facebook page, you'll see lots of stuff about cats (yes, we are cat crazy), funny stuff from Tumblr (yesterday's Venn Piagram, for example), and silliness between her and her girlfriends (very, very entertaining stuff, by the by). But you'll also find there posts about what she's listening to on Spotify (look at all those love songs and praise songs and acoustic guitar covers), and you'll find YouTube videos of songs she particularly loves. This week, the post was a song from a group we really, really like--Anthem Lights. It's called "Hide Your Love Away," and it was a release for Valentine's Day. The chorus says, "Hide your love away/ Wait for me/ Wait for me/ I will do the same/ Wait for me/ Wait for me/ There will come a day/ When I finally say/ Staring in your eyes/ I've waited my whole life/ For this night." It has these words in the bridge: "I'm holding on for you/ My heart belongs to you/ Your love is spoken for." Now, I'm sure there's a component of this song that's about sexual purity, and certainly, that's a core value for evangelical Christians. So don't walk away from this and think that Kellye doesn't think sexual purity before marriage is important, because I obviously do. But I think there's something really, really telling in this song that goes far beyond a call to abstain before marriage. The reason Han and her friends love, love, love this song is that it hits at one of the deepest needs of the heart--the belief that there is, out there somewhere, a soulmate. Not someone who thinks you're pretty. Not someone who thinks you're smart or funny or any of the other great qualities of any particular person. Because those are things anybody can think. They aren't special. What I'm talking about is the belief that somewhere in the world is the person God created just for you, the person for whom He created you. The belief that somewhere in the world is a person whose soul wraps around yours in a way that nobody else's soul does. A soulmate.

Isn't that what romantic movies are all about? Isn't that what every Nicholas Sparks book is about? We want to believe that there is someone out there who understands us, who loves us, who sees in us the good that maybe nobody else sees. Looks, beauty, passion...those things are great, and they add spice and wonder to life. They are certainly gifts from the Father of lights. But it's that deep connection that every person longs for. It's the reason Marc and I enjoy each other's company so, so much. I don't just love him. I get him. I understand him. And he understands me. We can communicate across a room with just a look, because he has stared into the depths of who I am, and he has not found me wanting or lacking. We fit. DJ and Sarah Beth are cute and sweet and funny, but what's magical about them is watching them truly like and understand one another. True love, my friends, is waiting for that one person who understands us, who sees who we really, truly are, and thinks we are perfect for them. True love is waiting for that person who speaks truth to us on a daily basis, but who also affirms who we are at the deepest parts of our souls. I have an ongoing joke with Hannah. When she comes out and I say, "Oh, Nan, you look beautiful," her reply is always, "Oh, stop you!" When I reply, "OK. I'll stop," she always grins and says, "No, Mom. Never stop. Please." It's a running gag, and I'm not attaching particular depth to it, but there IS something kind of important about that, isn't there? We all need somebody to tell us the good stuff, to remind us that we are children of God--beautiful, talented, amazing...worthy. Not worthy of worship, certainly--only God is worthy of worship. But worthy of someone else's time, attention, desire, love...worthy. 

I've prayed for years for the people my children will marry, if that's the plan God has for them. And much of what I've prayed is based not only the Scriptures, and what God has to say about marriage, but also on my own experience as a wife. I want for my children what I have--someone whose love helps me be the best version of myself. Without Marc, I would have been very content with my books and my cats. But I would have missed out on so much adventure that God has showered on my life through our marriage. I would have missed my soulmate. I would have had a good life, but I would have missed the best life God had for me. Because Marc is the best life God had planned. I'm glad I didn't miss him. :) So we prepare for SB's wedding with a smile, because the guy we prayed for showed up and is a really wonderful person who loves her and treats her exactly the way every parent alive wants their little princess treated. And we continue to pray for that guy who will come along and sweep the Nan off her feet, and the very special young woman who is God's best plan for John John. (We're praying she is someone with LOTS of energy.) Because somewhere out there, true love is waiting...for them.

Speaking of true love--I need to go make apple cinnamon muffins for mine. I love for everyone to wake up on Saturday mornings to the smell of something divine and wonderful, and since Marc is sure that cinnamon is what heaven smells like...it seemed a good choice for this rainy, dreary Saturday morning. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that your true love makes you the very best version of yourself, and that you DON'T have an expense report and German homework to do today, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Stones, Sochi, and Standing Still

Who could have imagined when we sang together all those years ago that we'd be together on a mountaintop in Russia?

Two of my three babies in Krasnaya Polyana, Russia. And yes, John John really is that tall.

Following in Daddy's footsteps: The Nan tapes her Daddy during an Engage Sochi session on top of the mountain.

Those twelve stones which they had taken from the Jordan, Joshua set up at Gilgal. He said to the sons of Israel, "When your children ask their fathers in time to come, saying, 'What are these stones?' then you shall inform your children, saying, 'Israel crossed this Jordan on dry ground.'" Joshua 4:20-22

I only have a few minutes to write this morning. There is exercising and showering to be done before our German lessons begin this morning. But we returned from Russia this weekend, and it's Wednesday already, so I feel like I need to write about our trip. We were in Sochi, Russia, the site of the 2014 Winter Olympics and Paralympics, for a week. While there, we had Engage Sochi team meetings (minus one family in the midst of their first Russian visa process), on-the-ground time to see where ministry venues might be, and great time with a team of volunteers from the Oklahoma and Georgia Baptist Conventions. We ate our Russian favorites, bought souvenirs like tourists, and re-immersed ourselves in the Russian language. (I discovered that I remember Russian well, and understood most of what was said to or around me, but when it came time to speak, only German wanted to appear.) There were lots of favorite moments. (I know that's technically an impossibility, due to the meaning of 'favorite,' but you get the idea.) Watching my kids interact with adults always reminds me that--though they are normal and have the normal issues all children have--they are pretty awesome people. John successfully ministered to every cat in Sochi. I'm really not kidding. I enjoyed time with friends, time back in Russia, time to decompress as a family. I enjoyed the Russian culture, the beautiful scenery, and the wonderful people. Most of all, I enjoyed--as I always do--the chance to watch Marc be Marc: dreaming big dreams, taking a big view of what I can only see in detail, thinking and planning and believing that God is going to do whatever He wants, regardless of how impossible we think it is. In trips like this, the difference between me and Marc is very clear. I am a plodder--I believe God is going to work, but I often feel like that work is dependent on me getting my job done. Marc is a dreamer--he knows that God is going to do things we can't imagine, so nothing seems impossible to him. I like that about him. If we were both like me, we'd have a pretty dull life. On the other hand, if we were both like him, we might forget to pay the light bill. So we're a good match, I think.

One of the really cool things about our trip was the chance to see how God has been at work in ways we could not have imagined or predicted. Engage Sochi was a pipe dream when it was hatched--who would approve it? Yet, men of vision agreed to it three years ago. The chance to see that original proposal in action...to see church plants happening...to get ready for a mass event at the Games in a year...that's good stuff. To know that God has been at work in a thousand ways to make that happen is reassuring, isn't it? Because we didn't know. We didn't know if it would work or not. But sure enough, stuff is happening. This is actually going to happen. That's pretty humbling, but it's also very reassuring and encouraging. God is going to do what He's going to do. Often, we just need to get out of the way or join the ride or dream the dream with Him. As I sat next to my friend, Margie, whom I've known forever from our days sitting in choir together in Middleburg, Florida, I couldn't help but grin a little at how God works. We could not have dreamed all those years ago that we would work together in Sochi, Russia. Goodness--I didn't even know where Sochi was on a map fifteen years ago, much less that I would ever live and travel in Russia. But we didn't have to know, did we? I bet it was kind of fun for God, watching us sing alto in the choir, joke with each other, love each other...I bet it made Him smile to see the ways in which our lives would intertwine years later for His glory, for His plan. All those years ago, we were on a need to know basis, and we didn't need to know. Now, we get to see how He has been at work all this time. That's clearly a gift from the Giver of all good things.

A pastor friend in Missouri--okay, I actually babysat him years ago--made a remark on facebook the other day that struck home with me. He said that God is good in the seasons when I get it, and He's still good in the seasons when I don't. As a family, I would say we're in a season of not getting it. It has been a difficult second term for us (kind of par-for-the-course, according to friends who have been overseas for a long time), and it can be hard to see how God is at work. When the painful season involves our children, it is nearly unbearable. And to think that their pain might be part of His plan isn't in keeping with what I know of our God, who is loving and compassionate and merciful and kind. But I've made a theological misstep there, haven't I? Because I've equated happiness with God's kindness. I've made the assumption that an easy life is a sign of God's favor. How did that work out for Peter? for Paul? If I really look at the great cloud of witnesses, how many of them enjoyed an easy life? None. Zero. They did not mark God's faithfulness by their situation or circumstances. Paul and Silas sang songs of praise chained in prison because they knew that God's goodness was not marked by their freedom. 'Well done, My good and faithful servant' is for those who endure, who press on, who stand still in the storm and know that He is God. Not the God of ease or happiness or fun, though those seasons come and are gifts from Him, too. He is the God who holds our little family, scattered over two continents, firmly in His right hand, who inscribed our names--Marc, Kellye, Sarah Beth, Hannah, John--on His palm long ago. He is the God who calls us to obedience, regardless of circumstances or seasons or emotions. He is the God whose faithfulness overwhelms my life. And in those moments when we get a glimpse of how He has been at work over many years to bring His plan for us to fruition, we treasure those stones of remembrance, we set up our own memorial at Gilgal, we say to our children--remember when God did this? He led us over dry land before, when the waters should, by all accounts, have overwhelmed us. He will do so again. We can trust Him.

I don't know your situation, but I know if you're breathing, you have something hard in your life. And maybe it's something that just doesn't make sense to you. Let me challenge you to trust in the One who makes the universe revolve, who puts the seasons in motion, and who loves you more than you can fathom. Let me challenge you to be still and know exactly who He is. Let me challenge you to look at your own memorial at Gilgal, to recount to each other the ways in which His faithfulness has led you on dry land through the Jordan, to know that He is still at work. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you know and trust in the faithfulness of our giant God, and that you actually finished your German homework already. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye