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| Why yes, that is my cute little napkin holder from Salzburg that Tashie has turned into her bed. And yes, she has pushed it up as close to the tree as possible. It's good to be the Tashinator. |
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| It must be Christmas time--the cookie cutters are out and ready to use. |
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8
It's a cold, gray Saturday here in Vienna, Austria. John has already left to work at the U.N. Bazaar for women and children, an annual event that raises money for U.N. projects around the world aiding women and children. It's actually a pretty cool event, with food from all over the world and all kinds of things to see and buy. It's packed every year, but I have no idea how much money it raises. John and I enjoyed a very quiet Thanksgiving together, with Hannah in Germany and Marc and Sarah Beth and DJ in Arkansas. We did skype with the folks in Arkansas, and that was fun. It was kind of a blue day. I haven't celebrated Thanksgiving without Marc in 25 years. I didn't think about that as I made plans for him to be in Arkansas. It hit me a little harder than I thought it would. Thanksgiving is just hard, frankly. It's such an American holiday, isn't it? I mean people all over the world celebrate Christmas. But Thanksgiving and July 4th are, at least for me, the hardest holidays to celebrate from overseas.
I spent the day before Thanksgiving working on turkey-shaped cookies to send to the teachers at John's school. I thought it would be fun to have little turkeys to eat, and I have the BEST sugar cookie recipe on earth, so I really enjoy making them. (They turn out kind of thick and flaky, if that makes sense.) Any time I pull out my cookie cutters, I smile as I think back to that first Christmas overseas, when we'd only been in Moscow a couple of months, and I realized to my horror that I did not own a single cookie cutter with which to make Christmas cookies. That seems like a little thing, I know. But I think for me it symbolized every hard thing about my life--Russian language lessons, homeschooling three kids, living in a very cold and snowy city, and going from a pretty small town in Florida to a city of about 15 million in Russia. I missed my parents, my sisters, my job, my friends, my students...all the things I thought made me...well, me. And cookie cutters became a symbol of that feeling of absolute lostness that so permeated my soul that Christmas season.
Of course, as a friend told me it would, things got better. They absolutely got better. And in comparison to that first Christmas season overseas, my little blue feelings on Thanksgiving were nothing. But it was a good reminder to me that except for Jesus, everything changes. There are things about that first Christmas season overseas that I would not want for all the world. But there are also things I'd give my left arm to have again: my family all in one apartment, rather than spread across three countries on two continents; the folks we love so dearly from that season of life, who are now scattered in so many directions; our whole overseas life stretched out in front of us, with no clue as to how many goodbyes we would say over the years...there was certainly culture shock that first Christmas in Moscow, but there was also a great deal of love and friendship in our lives, too. We were at the beginning of deep friendships that remain foundational for us as we continue this overseas life. There was a sweetness to that era.
If you had asked me at the time, though, I would have snarkily told you that there wasn't a single good thing about my life in Moscow. Two months in, and deep in the midst of Russian language that I just was struggling with so much, I didn't feel very Christmasy. But isn't that the way things go? In our family, if you start the sentence, "Emotions are..." someone will finish it with, "liars." It is the number one lesson we learned as a family in our first term overseas. I may feel like this is an awful season, or a great season, but the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. Good things happen. Bad things happen. But the truth of who Jesus is and who I am in Him...that never changes. He is who He says He is. And I am who He says I am. Regardless of how I feel or don't feel. Regardless of what the world says, I can rest in the comfort that whether it's a great season, a terrible season, or more likely, somewhere in between, His love for me doesn't change. He doesn't change. He is the same--yesterday, today, and forever. That's good news, whatever my circumstances.
So how does that impact my every day life? Well, I've stopped wishing my time away. I am looking forward to time with my parents next Thanksgiving in Texas, where we'll be on STAS, but I also enjoyed a fun time with my favorite 13-year-old guy this year. (Trust me, with one married, one graduating from high school, and one about to start high school, I am all too aware of the fleeting nature of time. No time to wish for tomorrow or yesterday, because today will be gone too quickly for this Momma!) I've learned to look around and enjoy the blessings and opportunities of today. We never know when the seasons will change, goodbyes will come, and this will be a memory. But we can rest in the knowledge that though things may change, Jesus never does.
Today is a full day, so I'd better get moving. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are enjoying this season in the full knowledge of who Jesus is, and that your team is not heading into rivalry weekend with a somewhat checkered season behind them. Go Gators! Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
