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| Happy 2015 from the Hooks Family! |
With my soul.
It is well,
It is well,
With my soul.
Well, hello there, and happy new year! I had every intention of updating this blog before now, but the stomach flu hit John and me pretty hard, and it has taken us a while to recover. All is well here in Vienna, and in the other countries where our family resides, and we're looking forward to a year that will see ministry, some travel for us, and the beginning of our Stateside Assignment in July. We are really looking forward to some time with friends and family, eating American food, and refreshing our souls a bit through some concentrated rest. We hope all of you are looking forward to a year in which God does some amazing things that you could not have predicted if you'd tried, where you know Him more and understand who you are in Him, and that you get to eat some chik-fil-a this year, too.
I love music. I really love all music. Ok, there's some I probably don't like, but I do listen to a variety of music styles and genres, and I generally love an eclectic blend. But lately, I am just hooked on hymns. They really are the soundtrack of my faith life in so many ways. "Have Thine own way, LORD" and "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness" and "O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be" could describe where my soul is at any given moment. And if you don't have a copy of Chris Rice's hymn album, you must get it and listen to it. I listen to it nearly every morning as I make John's breakfast. It's just an amazing collection that really stands the test of time. (I think it came out in 2005 or 2006.) You could ask me to name my favorite hymn, and I would tell you something different every time. I love "Great is Thy Faithfulness" so much--in tough times, dark seasons, what joy and comfort to be reminded that "there is no shadow of turning with Thee/Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not/As Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be." And what greater truth in my life is there than "I once was lost/but now am found/was blind, but now I see"? There is such great theology in these treasured songs, and I love them (and hum them to myself) so much. But lately, none has meant more to me than "It is Well with my Soul."
There are so many people/families/situations in transition right now in the lives around me. Changing jobs, locations, sick relatives and beloved ones, death, new ministry, changes in old ministry--if there is a theme in the lives around me for the last six months or so, it would be uncertainty. And if we're all honest, uncertainty is a part of our every day lives, even without big events and traumatic losses. Will I get the promotion? Will we have enough money to pay our bills? How will we _____________? These are questions we all ask ourselves and God daily. Uncertainty is just a fact of life. None of us knows, do we? What's next, what's best, what's happening that we can't control? And as a Christian, I must also factor in what will God do about this or that situation? How will He step in? Is He going to save the day? And what do I do if He doesn't? What if His will and purpose for my/our life looks different than I thought or even wanted? What then?
This was brought home to me so beautifully in a blog written by my friend, Jennifer. (You should look her up at thisgalsjourney.wordpress.com.) In the post, she describes washing dishes and praying about situations in her life over which she has no control. Like so many of us, the enemy whispers, "What if God doesn't?" over these situations and people she loves. And her answer to each of the enemy's lies begins with, "Even if He doesn't..." Even if He doesn't heal my friend, I will still praise Him. He is still God, still in control, still the great I am...even if He doesn't do or act in the way I want. Even if that has consequences for me that I don't want or need or know how I'll deal with, I will praise Him. And isn't that exactly what "It Is Well with my Soul" says? It is well with my soul, even if I don't understand. Even if my kids struggle or my parents are sick. It is well with my soul, because He is still on the throne, He still loves me, He is exactly who He said He is. Even when I don't understand. Even when I struggle. It is well with my soul.
That sounds pretty, doesn't it? Singing a happy tune, regardless of the situation. I'd love for that to be true, but it isn't. Is it for you? Maybe you're superhuman Christian person, but I'm just Kellye--a truly chipped and cracked pot of clay with a great big God. And sometimes, I have to say, "It is well with my soul" with my teeth clenched and my neck turning red. (That's my 'tell' when something is wrong--Marc will say, "What are you thinking?" or "What's got you upset?" based on the red color around my neck.) Because what I'm really doing often is not so much singing about how I feel but about what I know to be the truth. I do not always feel like things are well with my soul. But I know Him, and I know that ultimately, things will be well. Maybe not in the way I wanted or hoped or dreamed, but they will be well. He has kept every promise He ever made to me. He isn't going to stop now. So while my circumstances might not feel great, and I may want to rock back and forth in the fetal position as I worry over this situation or that, I know this to be the absolute truth: The God of EVERYTHING loves me. He knows my name. He knows my situation. And He will never leave me nor forsake me. He promised. I am not alone. So it may not feel well with my soul. But it is well with my soul, anyway. Even if He doesn't do or act the way I think He will or should. Even if.
It's time for me to get moving. My guy is on his way home to me, and I have some cleaning to do before he gets here--and a giant pork roast to make pulled pork for his first dinner home. (He's been at his Mom and Dad's house between meetings--I'm sure he's had some good food, so I'd better keep up with a great dinner to welcome him home, right?) Wherever you are in the world, I pray that it is well with your soul, regardless of your circumstances, and that your beloved is headed home to you, too. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
