Try not to notice the messy desk. In the midst of language school, I have five million notecards and dictionaries in various spots on my desk. This is a small sculpture that Sarah Beth brought back from Uganda. It sits near my desk.Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." Matthew 16:24-25
It's definitely Sunday morning--at nearly 8am, I'm the only one up in the apartment. Well, the cats are up, but they don't count. Mostly, they get up whenever I do and look pitiful until I feed them. :) Poor Marc has a terrible, nasty cold, and he ended up on the couch at some point in the evening, probably trying to keep himself semi-upright in order to quit coughing. Poor guy. Han and John are still snoozing away in their rooms--surprising for John, because he doesn't sleep with his shade pulled, and there is actually sunshine on that side of the apartment this morning.
I've been making my way through Matthew for quite some time. While Psalms is my book for the year, I'm also studying the gospels, beginning with Matthew. I'm a slow studier, pretty methodical in my system, and it takes quite a while to get through a book, including reading it through several times. I'm currently on my fifth reading of Matthew for this particular study. Every time I've been through it, this set of verses has caught my attention.
I think this aspect of Christianity--taking up the cross and following Jesus--is a difficult one, particularly for Americans. Self-sacrifice is not in our nature as people, is it? For example, I don't want my children to give up anything. I want them to have all the American things in life, plus be happy living in Europe. I want them to experience everything and always be happy. Don't you? Isn't that in our nature as parents? as people? But that's not what's in these verses. What is wrapped up in the middle of these verses is the idea of giving things up. Sometimes those things are actual things. Sometimes they're dreams or goals. Sometimes--and these are the hardest times--they are people and relationships.
It's been a rough couple of weeks for Hannah. Every negative thing in her life seems to be piling up at once. And this life as an MK is not an easy one. As she told me in the last couple of days, she wouldn't give it up for anything, but it's hard. Hard to say goodbye to grandparents and aunts and uncles in America. Hard to develop relationships here. Hard to balance school and "real life." Hard to forgive adults who promised to stay in contact but haven't. Hard to learn a new language and understand a new culture. Hard, hard, hard. But the tipping point for her, the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back this week--hard to be away from her sister.
If our family had to choose the thing we like least about our life overseas, it would be the distance between us and Sarah Beth. Easily. No question. And yes, she's in Arkansas and we live in Florida when we're there, and she's away from us. But that is not the same as being on a completely different continent. Not the same as having to figure out what time it is where she is in order not to call too early. Not the same as having an entire relationship via email and skype. Not the same, not the same, not the same. And we are blessed beyond measure to be that sweet family in the sculpture--arms around one another, closely tied together. We are not distant. We are not aloof. We are family in the absolute truest sense of the word. And I'm grateful for that, because I know that's not a given. I've seen the kind of families that speak once every two months--or sometimes not at all. Marc and I determined long ago what kind of family we wanted to be, and we've clung to that picture through good times and bad. And we've been blessed by years of happiness and laughter and phase 10 playing and general goofiness. And listen--we still have those things. I often wonder if our neighbors think we're crazy because they can hear us laughing through the dining room wall. But there is always someone missing.
It is, of course, the way it's supposed to be. We love our kids and train them to go into the world on their own. That's life. And we're very proud of the life Sarah Beth is making for herself, full of great relationships, a church she adores, and a career path that makes her passionate. We heartily approve of the direction her life is taking. But we miss her. It's part of the cross that we are being asked to take up during this season. And while we don't want to be away from her, we look at the incredible love God has showered on us as a family, and we pick up that cross and follow. Because in the face of His love and sacrifice for us, how could we do less?
Missing Sarah Beth is not the only cross we're picking up and hauling around Vienna right now. Certainly language school is a cross we're picking up. (Though I am really enjoying learning German...don't tell anyone, because it makes me sound kind of nerdy. Hey! Don't snicker!!) Figuring out new relationships, a new culture, and how to function in Austria are also things we're picking up here. Missing people, feeling forgotten sometimes...you get the idea. But here is the great news: we're not alone! If you're a real follower of Christ, there is something you're putting down to pick up your cross and follow Him. It's the way of this life. And the rewards of following Him--overwhelming love, joy, peace, contentment--far, far outweigh any burden He's asked us to take on in His name. And because we've been down this road before, we know that life settles down, the new place becomes home, relationships develop, ministry happens...and suddenly, you can't imagine being anywhere else, living any other life.
I don't know what your cross looks like. In my experience, the cross looks different for every believer. But I do know this--whatever you're being asked to abandon in order to pick it up, it's 100% worth it to follow Him. As much as we miss Sarah Beth, it's not a reason to leave this life we're called to. As rough as the last couple of weeks have been for Hannah, it's not a reason to leave this life we're called to. Sometimes what He calls us to do is just hang on, white-knuckle it until things get better. And in our experience, they do get better. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are enjoying a season of better, and that your church doesn't start until 4, so you have a lovely day of leisure ahead. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
It's definitely Sunday morning--at nearly 8am, I'm the only one up in the apartment. Well, the cats are up, but they don't count. Mostly, they get up whenever I do and look pitiful until I feed them. :) Poor Marc has a terrible, nasty cold, and he ended up on the couch at some point in the evening, probably trying to keep himself semi-upright in order to quit coughing. Poor guy. Han and John are still snoozing away in their rooms--surprising for John, because he doesn't sleep with his shade pulled, and there is actually sunshine on that side of the apartment this morning.
I've been making my way through Matthew for quite some time. While Psalms is my book for the year, I'm also studying the gospels, beginning with Matthew. I'm a slow studier, pretty methodical in my system, and it takes quite a while to get through a book, including reading it through several times. I'm currently on my fifth reading of Matthew for this particular study. Every time I've been through it, this set of verses has caught my attention.
I think this aspect of Christianity--taking up the cross and following Jesus--is a difficult one, particularly for Americans. Self-sacrifice is not in our nature as people, is it? For example, I don't want my children to give up anything. I want them to have all the American things in life, plus be happy living in Europe. I want them to experience everything and always be happy. Don't you? Isn't that in our nature as parents? as people? But that's not what's in these verses. What is wrapped up in the middle of these verses is the idea of giving things up. Sometimes those things are actual things. Sometimes they're dreams or goals. Sometimes--and these are the hardest times--they are people and relationships.
It's been a rough couple of weeks for Hannah. Every negative thing in her life seems to be piling up at once. And this life as an MK is not an easy one. As she told me in the last couple of days, she wouldn't give it up for anything, but it's hard. Hard to say goodbye to grandparents and aunts and uncles in America. Hard to develop relationships here. Hard to balance school and "real life." Hard to forgive adults who promised to stay in contact but haven't. Hard to learn a new language and understand a new culture. Hard, hard, hard. But the tipping point for her, the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back this week--hard to be away from her sister.
If our family had to choose the thing we like least about our life overseas, it would be the distance between us and Sarah Beth. Easily. No question. And yes, she's in Arkansas and we live in Florida when we're there, and she's away from us. But that is not the same as being on a completely different continent. Not the same as having to figure out what time it is where she is in order not to call too early. Not the same as having an entire relationship via email and skype. Not the same, not the same, not the same. And we are blessed beyond measure to be that sweet family in the sculpture--arms around one another, closely tied together. We are not distant. We are not aloof. We are family in the absolute truest sense of the word. And I'm grateful for that, because I know that's not a given. I've seen the kind of families that speak once every two months--or sometimes not at all. Marc and I determined long ago what kind of family we wanted to be, and we've clung to that picture through good times and bad. And we've been blessed by years of happiness and laughter and phase 10 playing and general goofiness. And listen--we still have those things. I often wonder if our neighbors think we're crazy because they can hear us laughing through the dining room wall. But there is always someone missing.
It is, of course, the way it's supposed to be. We love our kids and train them to go into the world on their own. That's life. And we're very proud of the life Sarah Beth is making for herself, full of great relationships, a church she adores, and a career path that makes her passionate. We heartily approve of the direction her life is taking. But we miss her. It's part of the cross that we are being asked to take up during this season. And while we don't want to be away from her, we look at the incredible love God has showered on us as a family, and we pick up that cross and follow. Because in the face of His love and sacrifice for us, how could we do less?
Missing Sarah Beth is not the only cross we're picking up and hauling around Vienna right now. Certainly language school is a cross we're picking up. (Though I am really enjoying learning German...don't tell anyone, because it makes me sound kind of nerdy. Hey! Don't snicker!!) Figuring out new relationships, a new culture, and how to function in Austria are also things we're picking up here. Missing people, feeling forgotten sometimes...you get the idea. But here is the great news: we're not alone! If you're a real follower of Christ, there is something you're putting down to pick up your cross and follow Him. It's the way of this life. And the rewards of following Him--overwhelming love, joy, peace, contentment--far, far outweigh any burden He's asked us to take on in His name. And because we've been down this road before, we know that life settles down, the new place becomes home, relationships develop, ministry happens...and suddenly, you can't imagine being anywhere else, living any other life.
I don't know what your cross looks like. In my experience, the cross looks different for every believer. But I do know this--whatever you're being asked to abandon in order to pick it up, it's 100% worth it to follow Him. As much as we miss Sarah Beth, it's not a reason to leave this life we're called to. As rough as the last couple of weeks have been for Hannah, it's not a reason to leave this life we're called to. Sometimes what He calls us to do is just hang on, white-knuckle it until things get better. And in our experience, they do get better. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are enjoying a season of better, and that your church doesn't start until 4, so you have a lovely day of leisure ahead. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
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