Saturday, February 4, 2012

Planting our Ebenezer in Budapest

My very best pal.
No matter what you call them, blini are Marc's favorite. These had curd cheese and cinnamon in them. Yummmmmm....
This is for Uncle Don and Aunt Diane: John enjoying his treats from Sochi. The bag is filled with what is basically a natural fruit roll up. Uncle Don and Aunt Diane brought them in December, and John loved them. They come in huge sheets, which I cut and roll up in foil to make a roll up. They are made from various fruits, but his favorites are apple and (believe it or not) prune.

In the light of the past the future is not doubtful. Since the same Almighty God fills the throne of power, we can with unhesitating confidence exult in our security for all time to come. --Charles Spurgeon

Marc will laugh when he reads that quote, or he'll sigh, or he'll just smile, because last night I had a complete breakdown in the kitchen over Hannah and her team and their struggle to get to Bosnia. We had not heard from them in many hours--just that the roads looked okay, so they were heading on--and my mind began to play tricks on me. I won't mention the scenes I pictured in my head, because that is simply an invitation for the enemy to set up shop, but I think if you're a parent, you can imagine. So I had a good cry, which Marc (in his very good nature) wisely avoided and made no comment on. Soon after, we got the news that they had stopped at the Croatian/Bosnian border and were spending the night, that the snow was terrible, but that they were all safe. My little sobfest looked a little silly, though God is the ultimate Father and has some experience in this department, so He also just let me cry. I slept well, not worrying about her, and I'm determined this morning not to worry, either, trusting in good leadership to make wise decisions, and a God for whom--as Marc just reminded me--none of this is a surprise. It's a great thing that what really upsets me doesn't phase him at all, and what he finds truly terrible is barely a blip on my screen. Otherwise, we'd generally be a disastrous mess.

And while I covet your prayers for Hannah and the team, that's not what this blog is about. We returned on Friday afternoon from a few days in Budapest, Hungary, and I got to thinking about all the great things a short vacation with just your spouse can do for your relationship, why it is worth the money and effort to get away with one another. Now, let me say that I know that this is a financial hardship for many, and certainly, we are not rolling in dough. But I got an incredible deal through Groupon, and this was Marc's Christmas present, so with help from friends who stayed at our house, we were able to make this happen.

Marriage is stressful. Until I met Marc, I'd honestly decided that I would just be single. Married with kids, frankly, did not sound all that great to me. But then I started dating him, and the world turned upside down. Suddenly, I couldn't imagine a universe in which I wasn't married to him, having oodles (well, maybe not oodles) of kids, and living happily-ever-after. But that isn't really what marriage is all about, is it? It's a partnership. A covenant. A vow. But it's also (if you do it right) a great, deep, enduring friendship. For us, that has certainly been the case. There is no question that Marc is my very, very best friend. He knows me. He likes me anyway. :) He's seen me at my best and my worst and the in-between that occupies 99% of the time. So when stressful, troubled times come, it is the friendship that carries us through. And a trip together, without the stresses or interrupters of children and homework and tests and projects and travel, reminds us of that deep friendship. Here are a few things a trip gives a couple a chance to do:

--Unwind with one another. Maybe your days are stress free and full of only really important things, but in my experience, it's the minutiae that'll kill you. It's who left their underwear on the floor or didn't put the cap on the toothpaste or forgot to hang their towel up to be reused. On big things, important, life-altering things, Marc and I are nearly always in agreement. We have rarely, in almost 21 years of marriage, disagreed about something huge. It's the little stuff. A trip gives you the chance to unwind from all that stuff and do absolutely whatever you want to do. We are both gigantic nerds, so we spent a lot of time at museums. Our favorite was the ethnographic museum, where they had a display of wooden Greek Catholic churches. C'mon. You have to admit that is kind of cool. Right? Oh, well...to each his own. :) But a trip allows you to forget the little stuff and do something FUN for a change.

--Talk. Really, really talk. The little stuff? It takes up almost all our talk time. The chance to sit at Starbucks and talk about what we think the future holds, what's next, where we are, how we're doing...priceless.

--Laugh. A lot. Though we have an ongoing feud about who is funnier--I think I am, and he thinks he is--the truth is that we absolutely make each other laugh. Nobody can make me "geezer laugh" as Hannah calls it quite like Marc. His cheesy jokes, his little commentary in museums...hilarious. And I'm going to be honest--we've not laughed a ton in Vienna. We laugh with the kids--our kids are really funny--but not a good, deep belly laugh. We did some belly laughing in Budapest, and it was good for what ails us.

--Dream. Not little ones. Big ones. And not just dreams for us and for our kids, but dreams for cities we love and that God has given us. Dreams about ministry, about the future, about what God has planned. After all, in a million years could we have dreamed the life we are so privileged to live now? No--but we did dream about more. And God has definitely, definitely provided more.

--Plant an Ebenezer stone. Here is where we have been. Here is where God has brought us. He was faithful there. He'll be faithful here. Caught up in the minutiae of life, it can be hard to remember where you've been and how far God has brought you. In our case, those stories almost always begin with an incident we both remember as though it were yesterday--a night in our pool, floating around after the kids had gone to bed, talking, dreaming...when Marc said to me, "I just feel like there is more for us than this. That God has more for us." That one conversation led to lots of praying, lots of studying, and a clear call on our lives that showed us what 'more' was going to look like for us and our kids. Time alone gave us the chance to rehash, to tell those stories to one another again. It gave us the chance to imagine God looking at us in the pool, listening to that conversation, and smiling as He looked at the path our lives were just about to take. The most soul-rejuvenating moments of our trip began with the phrase, "Remember when God...." He has never forsaken us. He has never deserted us. In the somewhat turbulent transition into Austria, it has been easy to overlook and forget what God has done, to feel alone, to be caught up in what we feel, in our emotions. That, my friends, is dangerous ground. It is a necessary thing to tell your stories to one another, to remind each other that our God IS greater, that no foe has ever succeeded against His will for us.

We had a wonderful, great, fun time. We were big nerds together, roaming museums and exclaiming over this cool find or that one. We enjoyed great food, including some yummy Hungarian goulash and real, honest-to-goodness Tex-Mex. Budapest was at the top of our must-see list, and we plan to go back with the kids this spring or summer. One whole side of Marc's family is from there, and it was really, really interesting and beautiful to imagine them walking the streets. But more than that, it was a great time of being together and encouraging one another as we head into language school and the stress we know it causes. Marc is both my beloved and my closest friend...what could possibly be better than time with him? Nothing. So I'm grateful on this very, very cold Vienna morning that God allowed us the time and resources to be able to escape the every day stresses of life for some relaxation and renewal. He is good and faithful in every detail of my life. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that your beloved is also your best friend, and that it is warm where you are. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

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