Being all here

Beautiful Prague...I think this is from the Charles Bridge.

A church somewhere in Prague. What a gorgeous city!

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

Wherever you are, be all there. --Jim Elliot

I watched End of the Spear last night with Hannah, hence the Jim Elliot quote. If you're not familiar with the movie, it is the true story of the Auca Indians of Ecuador, a fierce tribe that came onto the world stage in 1956, when they slaughtered five missionaries who were making first contact with them. The story doesn't end there, of course--that isn't how God works. Instead, it continues to this day, with the son of one of the missionaries living with the Auca tribe, ministering to them and planting churches among them. I was thinking about Jim Elliot, one of the missionaries killed, last night after the movie, and looked up some of his famous quotes. The most famous, and the most popular among my fellow missionaries, is "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." I thought about that often as people who didn't understand what compelled us to leave everything we know to come to Russia told us again and again that we were making a crazy decision. Crazy? Maybe. Foolish? Nah.

But it's the quote above--wherever you are, be all there--that is the focus of my attention at the moment. We are, of course, in Moscow. Well, the kids and I are in Moscow. Marc is in Udmurtia again this weekend. But for this moment, we are stationed here. In a few months, we will be moving to Prague, where Marc will join the European Affinity media team, focusing on video production. The decision to move was much more difficult than you might imagine. Prague is one of our favorite cities on earth (it's a fairy tale--you should start saving your money to come visit us), and we have very close friends there already. It's Central, rather than Eastern Europe, making it the tiniest bit more westernized than Moscow. Many people speak English, and nearly everyone speaks Russian. And compared to Russians, Czechs are practically the friendliest people on earth. (Not really, but everything is relative.) What's the difficulty?

One of the first people we met when we began the IMB process to be sent here was a man who works in Bulgaria. Yeah, Bulgaria. I remember asking him if he liked Bulgaria. No. Bulgarians? No. But he loved being in the center of God's will, and for the moment, Bulgaria was God's will for him and his family. I didn't understand then, but I certainly do now. I do not love Russia. I do not particularly love Russians as a group, though I adore my Russian friends. But I absolutely love knowing I am exactly where God wants me to be. And for this time in my life, that has been Moscow. We have struggled to be here--struggled with the language, with being in a 2-bedroom apartment with three children, with school, with other missionaries, with Russians--but we have not been alone. Never in my life have I felt more clearly God's presence in my life. And that is sweet, my friends. Priceless. Worth the struggle. But now, after much prayer individually, as a couple, and with a team of prayer warriors praying daily on our behalf, we know that God is moving us to Prague. Why now? I don't have a clue. But I can tell you this--it won't be boring. It won't be dull. I am anxiously awaiting what God has just around the corner for us. But for right now, I am still here, and so I am trying to be all here. English club continues. Mission teams continue to come. Engage Russia forges ahead with a nearly blinding momentum. So I embrace what He has for me right here, right now, but I look forward to what He has for me next.

Well, I am contemplating walking to the grocery store in the snow, so I'd better get going. Nothing like a mile walk in the drifting snow to make your Saturday fun. We are focusing on cleaning the house for Marc's arrival on Monday (he's home for almost a whole week!) and doing some fun family things today. Please continue to pray for Marc as he travels this huge country. He and Tim and Jimmy and Sarah and Johann are working hard to Engage Russia, but it isn't easy work, and I know that my guy is pretty worn out. Wherever you are in the world, I challenge you to be all there, and I hope you have good snow boots like I do for your walk to the grocery! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

All I have needed

I love this pic so much. You have honestly never met a better team than Marc Hooks and Tim Wicker. Tim is an amazing guy with an amazing family. We are crazy about them.
Is this gorgeous, or what? Northwestern Siberia, it turns out, is really pretty. Of course, I'm looking at it in a picture from my cozy apartment in Moscow, and not tramping through the snow in my cold-weather gear.
Yep, that's a teepee in the foreground. I forget what the Khanti call them, but they're the same as Native American teepees.


Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning
New mercies I see
All I have needed
Thy hands hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness
Lord unto me.

But the salvation of the righteous is from the LORD; He is their strength in time of trouble. The LORD helps them and delivers them; He delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in Him. Psalm 37:39-40

Notebooks are weird in Russia. First of all, they aren't lined--they're graph paper. I have learned to write in the little graphs, which isn't a problem for me, because my handwriting is fairly small, anyway. But it's strange. And they are weird sizes. I have some tiny ones, and I have some big ones. And in the big one I have on my desk right now, which I'd guess is about 10x13, I have a list of scripture by category: praise and thanksgiving, confession, intercession, God's promises, God's commands. And yes, for those of you who know me well, each category IS color-coded. When I find a verse of scripture that particularly speaks to me, I write it down in one of those categories, and after a year or so of doing this, it's a pretty full book. You know which section is full to overflowing? God's promises. The Bible is full of things He has promised us. He will be with us. He will never leave us. He will be our refuge. You get the idea. And after living on the field for over a year, I can tell you that I have clung to those promises like a lifeline, and I have found each of them to be true in a way that I couldn't even imagine two years ago.

He is faithful. He just is. Everything I need, He provides. Not everything I want (so far, the size 6 body and the pot of gold haven't shown up), but everything I need. Never does He make that clearer to me than when I am without Marc here in the city. Many of you know that Marc got into a losing battle with a German shepherd while he has been away. After a trip to the hospital, some antibiotics, and some kind of stuff that made it close almost immediately, he's feeling better. Lots of bruising, and it hurts in the -25 Fahrenheit weather, but he's okay. I pulled something in my back on Thursday, and had to miss school yesterday. Not a tragedy, nothing serious--these are just little annoyances that happen in everybody's life, but could be blown out of proportion by this life and these circumstances. But God is faithful, and because we know that, really know it by now, we don't worry. We call on prayer warriors to pray. We depend on people to help (I know--weird for me--but what can I say? I'm growing up). And we're thankful for the comfort God sends our way. A great friendship/partnership with the rest of our team. Friends who pick my kids up from school and invite John John for a sleepover tonight. A lady who speaks English on the fifth floor and invites me to call on her if I need anything. The chaplain at school and his wife, who love and care for my kids in a way that is amazing. Blessings all mine--and ten thousand beside. And I had tons of blessings in the States, too. But the difference is that I've learned to look for them and to acknowledge them as a sign of the way God is at work. Our time here has not be comfortable or easy, but it has produced in us a dependence on God and a true knowledge of His faithfulness that I wouldn't trade for an easier life.

Well, I'd better run. Life calls. I'm still taking it easy today, but my back is so much better. I actually did the right thing, stayed still, didn't worry about what had to be done, and I'm reaping the rewards of that. Hah! I'm not 100%, but I'm not 50%, either. I'll take it! Wherever you are in the world, I challenge you to look at the comfort God is sending your way today, and I hope that your husband is coming home on Monday, too! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

'Tis so sweet

After getting up at 3:15 to watch the national championship game and then spending the day with a friend, this was the only possible result. He was one tired little boy!

I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden wealth of secret places, so that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name. Isaiah 45:3

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His word
Just to rest upon His promise
Just to know, "thus saith the LORD."
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
O for grace to trust Him more.

I actually have two free minutes this morning to blog! It's a miracle!!! Lately, we have been so busy that it's almost impossible to find the time to sit down and put some thoughts down. We are getting ready for Marc's next trip (to Sergut in the Northwestern part of Siberia) on Monday. Today, we are taking a rare, completely alone 24 hours to finish praying through our career options and do a little dreaming about what's next. It is VERY rare that all three kids are out of the house, and we love them but are looking forward to some time to think and pray together. We had a great night at English Club last night and are very thankful for that.

I really only have two minutes this morning, but one of the things I've really been thinking about lately is the grace and sweetness to be found in the dark. It is no secret that both literally and metaphorically, Russia is a very dark place. In the winter, there are few hours where we see the sun clearly. It is gray and dark nearly all the time, something I struggled with last year and have not struggled with as much this year. And spiritual darkness and oppression are very, very real here. So when the chance to leave was first mentioned to us, it seems like a no-brainer to do whatever we can to be somewhere where we can see the light a little more clearly. But that's not really an easy decision at all, and one of the reasons is the great joy in being totally dependent on God. In the States, I was a pretty self-sufficient gal. I took to God spiritual things, but every day life was pretty easy for me. Here, I have to depend on Him for everything--cooking a meal, buying meat, understanding a question asked on the street, plugging in electronics, living in a place I don't love...all of these are things I constantly turn to God for. I cannot do anything on my own here. I am not self-sufficient. And though this has been the hardest experience of my life, it has also been a time of sweet fellowship with my Savior. I do not have to feel Him to know He is there. I can just take Him at His word. He will never leave me nor forsake me...I know, because He has again and again proven Himself faithful here in the darkness. I wouldn't trade that kind of heart knowledge for anything. And so, after 15 months of darkness, I can be grateful that I have had the rare opportunity to live in a place where I can do absolutely nothing without God. It is, indeed, so sweet to trust Him.

Well, the kiddos must get out of bed if we're going to make it to school on time. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you have the opportunity to live a while in the darkness so that you can know for certain that it is the Lord who is calling your name, and that you are having fajitas tonight cooked by your fabulous husband. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Testimony of a Type-A Girl

Sarah Beth and Grandpa. Sarah Beth is definitely Grandpa's girl.
Isn't this a sweet picture? Hannah and her Poppy...the two younger kids call my parents Mimi and Poppy, while S.B. calls them Grandma and Grandpa. I can't really remember why--it just is the way things are.
What you can't see here is the crazy faces John was making. I just happened to snap a semi-normal picture in between the clowning. He loves his Poppy!

Come, and let us go up to the mountain of the LORD, to the house of the God of Jacob; He will teach us His ways, and we shall walk in His paths. Micah 4:2

God doesn't often reveal the details of where He's taking you because He wants you to trust Him for every step. He wants you to pray and listen to Him directing your path for this day, this week, this season, this year, and this time. Stormie Omartian Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On

As I drifted off to sleep last night, I heard Marc talking to a dear friend in Hungary. His family, like ours, is directly impacted by the changes in our company, and so they are having to make decisions about their future, too. We have been praying for them, just as they have been praying for us, that we will all clearly hear God's call and follow it, whether that means moving to a new place or staying exactly where we are right now. This family was at FPO with us, and when we did personality tests, the husband and I turned out to be exactly the same type, which didn't surprise me at all, and I don't think it surprised him, either. So I can imagine that for both of us, people who like planning and organization, this season of figuring out what's next could be infuriatingly difficult. I like to have my lesson plans for the year done the first day of school. I have a 'to-do' list every day, which I delight in checking off throughout the day as I finish things. So what's a girl like me doing in a situation like this? Fretting? Worrying? Staying up nights? Nope. I'm trusting. I'm believing. And I'm sleeping very soundly. You know why? Because He's never been unfaithful to me. He's never left me nor forsaken me. Now I've left Him numerous times in my life. But He has remained absolutely the same. Yesterday. Today. Forever. He won't change. But I can change, and I have.

The last 14 months of my life, while I've lived on the mission field of Moscow, have been the most challenging, frustrating, overwhelming, and intimidating of my life. I have cried, pouted, yelled, and stomped my feet at God, demanding happiness as a trade off for sacrificing my life in the States. But I am not the same person I was when I came here. I have studied His word. I have spent daily time with Him. And I have come to know that my happiness isn't God's greatest concern. My joy, however, is. And I have learned that there is joy to be found in total and utter dependence on Him for everything. I can do nothing for God, but I can do anything with Him. His power is my power, if only I will depend on Him. You know when my life here turned a corner? When everyone who was an important support for me left last summer. Frances, Karla and Kyle went to the States. Teri went to be with the Lord. And I was left here alone, without any of the people who had helped me to survive. But I wasn't alone. It sounds trite, but it's absolutely true...only Jesus could have helped me through the summer. Only Jesus could make me glad for my life here. Only Jesus is enough for me. I cannot make myself happy, or my husband, or my kids. But I can daily choose to depend on only Jesus. For everything. For the big and the small. And I am here to testify to you that this type-A (or A+, as my Momma says) girl isn't worried about the future. I am not fretting about this decision. Instead, I am resting in Jesus Christ, and He is making all things clear to me and to us as we trust and obey.

Well, Marc and I have to make a grocery run. Pray for us--it's an ordeal just to go buy groceries some days. But we have a nearly-empty cupboard (and balcony!), so to the store we must go. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are trusting and obeying the God who loves you so much, and that you are having sausage balls at your National Championship party tonight. Blessings to you and yours! And GO GATORS!!!

His,
Kellye

You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to know God's will

Hannah is pretty cute all decked out in her cold-weather gear.
This is my "I live in a cold, cold place and miss the sunshine of Florida" face. Scary, huh?
What could be better than a day of sledding? If you ask my kids--nothing. They love to sled.

We must totally surrender ourselves to God, yielding to His purpose regardless of what it may be. Absolute abandon to God is the foundation in knowing His will. Presenting ourselves as a living sacrifice means that we take our hands off our own life and totally yield to Him. Absolute surrender brings an attitude of trust in Him with no conditions or strings attached. Grace Rules, Steve McVey

Since a little boy woke me up around 6 this morning, I am actually up in time to do some writing. I have slept more during this break from school than I have slept since I was a teenager. I must have been really tired going into the break, because I have slept 8-9 hours every single night. If you know me at all, you know how unlike me that is. I will say that it's nice to get up and not feel like you need to climb right back in bed. It's a good thing, I think, to be able to get up at your own pace, have a cup of coffee, and spend some time with God without keeping your eye on the clock. I have thoroughly enjoyed being on break, and I'm thrilled that I still have another week before I go back to work.

Because our company is reorganizing and there are several options in front of us concerning our future, I have been thinking a lot lately about knowing God's will. I don't know about you, but it seems to me that I have spent so much of my adult life trying to figure out God's will for my life. And I have been totally sincere in those efforts. But one of the things I am learning right now is that God's will isn't some mystery that He's waiting for me to figure out. It isn't a code that I must decipher. God's will is the natural expression of my relationship with Him. We have many important decisions to make, and every choice we have is great. I am totally at peace with our choices, and I know that because we have sought Him daily--not an answer to a question, but Him--the choice we make will flow naturally out of that relationship. The big decisions in life--who to marry, what career to pursue, coming to the mission field--have all been easy in the sense that God's will was so apparent because I was daily seeking His face. I knew almost immediately that Marc was God's man for me. I couldn't imagine doing anything but teaching. God's call to international missions was so clear that no other decision seemed possible. I didn't second guess myself and worry about making the wrong decision, because those choices were made out of a deep desire to know God. I think sometimes we see God as some kind of magic 8 ball. If we do the right things, then He will give us an answer when we shake Him up and ask our questions. (Isn't that how those things work? You shake them and they come up with answers like, "maybe" or "yes" or "not likely"?) As I know Him more and more, as I daily seek His face and not just His hand, I find that He is so much more than I could ever have imagined. I don't always understand His ways, but I am confident that He delights in me, that He loves me more than I have words to express, and that His deepest desire is to live abundantly through me. That means that decisions that appear to be hard on the surface are actually quite easy. I am learning to relax and act confidently because I know Him more and more, and I know that He is guiding and directing me daily. There is a great deal of peace in that.

Well, it's just about time to wake John John and Marc. John John is attending a sports camp today and tomorrow, and they need to get moving if they're going to be on time. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are seeking to know our great God, and that your laundry is all caught up, too! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Happy New Year!

Wicker and Hooks families together with our beloved friend, Angie, somewhere outside Red Square.

See the look of terror? Totally earned. Think wall to wall people shooting off fireworks from their hands and ashes in your hair. A once-in-a-lifetime experience. Or at least I'm praying it's once-in-a-lifetime!A lady in the crowd gave John John a sparkler. Isn't this a sweet picture? He's growing up so fast.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:7

Whenever a person holds onto personal rights, he sets himself up for the tyranny of fear when those rights are threatened. The only way to be free to experience God's will is to go through life with a loose grip on everything around us. He is the only security we have in life--and He is enough! Grace Rules, Steve McVey

с новым годом! (Happy New Year!) We had a wonderful visit with Daddy and my nephew, Dan, and then spent New Year's Eve with great friends. As you can see from the pics above, we went with the Wickers (Tim is Marc's traveling partner and all-around buddy) and our friend, Angie, to Red Square, but we spent the majority of our evening at the Courson's with lots of our friends from the Company. What a fun night! Somewhere out there is a distressing video of me singing "Roxanne" by the Police with the Wii game Rock Band, but if you see it, just know that I was coerced by several of my nieces and nephews, who have discovered that Aunt Kellye is a soft touch if they just make the "please, Aunt Kellye" face. Never could resist a group of teenagers. It's my burden to bear.

I am thinking a lot lately about God's will and His grace. Many of you are aware that there are changes in our organization, and that those changes directly impact our family. As you can imagine, we have been thinking and making lists and thinking some more, and when we think we've come to a conclusion, something comes up that makes us think we need to think some more. But more and more, I am coming to the conclusion that God's will for our lives isn't necessarily something we will find as much as it is something that He is revealing to us as we seek Him. Not as we seek an answer, but as we seek our God. To know Him, to get even a glimpse of His glory has become my goal. Yes, it will be nice when the decision-making process is done and we can move on to whatever is next. But for right now, I am content with where we are, with what we have, with who we are becoming. And I am content that my God continues to pursue me as I pursue Him.

As usual, the end of the year makes me introspective, and so I thought I'd make a list (I love lists more than you can possibly know) of some of the things I have learned in the last year. This is in no particular order.

• Friendships based on a foundation of a mutual love for Christ and a desire to see others come to know Him are unshakeable and priceless. I am so thankful for deep friendships that are developing here in Moscow, but our time with friends in Prague proved to me yet again that those friendships, shaped and developed during our training time in Richmond, are life-long and precious. I am blessed to have two women in the world (besides my family), one in Prague, the other in Brazil, to whom I literally could say anything and they would love me, anyway. What more could I ask from God than this? Blessings all mine, plus ten thousand beside.
  
• Forgiving is easier than getting over the offense. This is an area in which I am asking God to stretch me past the place where I forgive people for real hurts they've inflicted on me, but then refuse to let it go and let them off the hook. So glad God doesn't hold my offenses against me. That "as far as the east is from the west" thing might be the description of what God wants me to do with the hurts and wounds others have inflicted on me.
  
• I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Seriously. If you'd asked me a year ago whether we would still be on the field, I'd have laughed before telling you there was no way. And in my own power, I'd have been right. But Christ is serious about giving us the power to do what He asks. Life here doesn't look so impossible, anymore.
• Death is a hard thing to reckon with, whether you know it's coming or not. This year, we have experienced the death of our darling friend, Teri, which was completely unexpected, and Marc's Aunt Lee, which was not unexpected. As I write, a man very dear to me as I was growing up, Hal Herweck, Sr., is nearing death. The death of someone you love is heart-wrenching, no matter what. Priceless to me, however, is the knowledge that I will see all three of these folks again. Death, where is thy sting? Grave, where is thy victory? Nowhere...death and the grave have already been conquered. There is real consolation in that. We do not grieve as the world grieves. What a blessing.
• My family is precious. As the time nears for S.B. to go off to college, my heart aches and rejoices at the same time. Every second is important. Every memory is priceless. I'm learning to eat it up--all of it.
  
• It is good to be remembered. We got a card in the mail yesterday. As I reached for it, Marc said, "If we were going to get one card this Christmas, who would it be from?" Without thinking, I replied, "Sharon Chalker and her Sunday School class." And I was right. Faithful people in churches all over the States encourage us and pray for us. It means more than I can tell you. Way more.
  

I have certainly learned more than this, but these are the basics. It's nearly 2p.m., and my family hasn't eaten, yet. (We didn't get home until after 2, and we were on the phone until 3, so we slept in until nearly noon!) Marc has the bacon done, so I need to go whip up some biscuits. I can hear Randy Travis singing, "Oh, how I love Jesus" in the kitchen...not a bad way to start the year. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you take a few moments today to thank God for the lessons you're learning, and that your husband is helping you in the kitchen, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye