Sunflowers are my favorite. These were in Berchtesgaden, Germany."I am the Alpha and Omega," says the Lord God, "who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty." Revelation 1:8
This won't be long. I have only a few minutes of quiet--John is occupied for a little bit, but that never lasts for long, and I have to have quiet in order to write. I don't know if you'll remember or not, but I started reading through the Bible last April, and I'm just about to the end. I've kind of dreaded Revelation, because I've read it before and been kind of lost, but today's reading wasn't too confusing. Of course, I realize today's reading was only the first chapter!
So here is my confession for the day--I am dreading the next four days, not because of what is happening here, but because of what is happening at home. You see, the North Florida Passion Play begins tonight at our home church in Middleburg, Florida, and it is the first time they've done it without our family. They don't need us to do it, certainly, and I've always known that. But we enjoyed doing it so much as a family that it's hard to be here and know that it's going on there. Does that make sense? It was something our whole family participated in--Marc and Sarah Beth worked on the technical end (and Sarah Beth performed when she was younger), Hannah was one of the children in the opening, and I sang in the choir. Okay, John sat in child care quite a bit (he saw a performance once), because he was little when we left. But the rest of us were heavily, heavily involved. And even more than I miss the involvement, I miss being the person I was when we were involved.
It will come as a shock to those who only know me as a missionary, but in my former life, I sang publicly quite a bit. And though from time to time I struggled with why I loved it so much, I generally just love singing. Love it. Love singing about Jesus even more than just singing. And once I gave myself a break about never feeling like I was good enough (I hit that note a little wrong, I didn't sing the right words there, etc.), it was so much fun to get up and feel like I could be used by God to contribute to a worship service or a banquet or a ladies' retreat...you get the idea. So you can imagine that it's been kind of sad for me that in the last three years, I've only sung once in public--at a school event in Moscow. And I could give you a list of things God has taught me by virtually taping my mouth shut, but that's not really what this post is about.
So what is this post about? I'm glad you asked. :) It's about being thankful for the life we led before we left, just like I'm thankful for the life we've led since we came to Europe. It's about being thankful for our church, which has provided so many amazing memories for us. It's about it being okay to be homesick when something cool is going on, and not thinking that makes me a bad missionary. If we could afford the ticket, I promise you we would have taken vacation and gone home for this--it was that big a part of our lives. And though I hope to be asleep when they start the first performance tonight (it'll be around 1 a.m. here), I will say one last prayer before I hit my pillow, not just that the performance will go smoothly, but that the thousands of people who will attend over the next four days will be drawn closer to the One who loved them enough to send His Son to die for them.
Well, it's time to get started on my day. John has been quiet for just about as long as his nine-year-old self can handle it. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are thankful for the amazing experiences God has given you in the past, and that the smoke from Jesus' empty tomb doesn't filter into the kitchen and set off the fire alarms during your Passion Play performance tonight. (Smile. That was just for Marc.) Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
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