Confirming the work: Psalm 90, pt. 3

The girls at the beach

Han being contemplative.

I couldn't talk her out of getting in the water. Her little feet were half-frozen!

Let the favor of the LORD our God be upon us; and confirm for us the work of our hands; yes, confirm the work of our hands. Psalm 90:17

There is, of course, much more to this psalm than the few verses I've picked out here. It's rich in not only meaning, but also in beautiful, lyrical words and syntactical structures. But the parts I've concentrated on are the parts that have become particularly meaningful to me over the last few years. And I have prayed few verses more as a missionary than Psalm 90:17.

One of the hardest things I've ever done is to leave my career. Teaching, besides being something I'm called to do, is very, very rewarding. I loved being able to see the results of my efforts, sometimes in an easily quantifiable way--test scores, essay scores, etc. When I walked away from that, I stepped into a world that isn't always so easily quantified. What data can I glean from months of language study, when many days seem like you're making no progress at all? When your husband and children are your main ministry, it's not always so easy to see the results of your efforts. (Ooooooh...company dropped in unexpectedly, and my bathroom was clean! I feel good about myself now!!) So I prayed often for the LORD to confirm the work of my hands. And because He is ridiculously good and faithful, He did in so many ways.

So what does it look like when the God of the Universe confirms the work of your hands? Sometimes it looks like happy, smiling children laughing around the dinner table. Other times it's a comment from a colleague I really respect. And sometimes it's just the still, small voice on a quiet night that whispers, "You are never alone." This past Christmas, it was watching my girls, who are so different from one another, stroll on the beach and laugh together, enjoying one another, creating memories together. There was a moment when I caught a glimpse of their relationship as adults--loving and encouraging one another despite their differences--and I was reminded that, once again, a good and faithful God had confirmed the work of my hands.

Wherever you are in the world, I pray that our mighty God is daily confirming the work of your hands, and that you are having dinner tonight with old friends, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Psalm 90, pt.2: Numbering my days

Both of my girls love the beach. This is Villano Beach in St. Augustine, Florida.

They also love each other, which is pretty nice. And yes, Hannah is this much taller than SB. :)

Who understands the power of Your anger and Your fury, according to the fear that is due You? So teach us to number our days, that we may present to you a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:11-12

One of the really interesting things about living overseas is coming back to the U.S. and being confronted by things in the culture that seem really strange. It's coming home to realize that Taylor Swift is a name you should know, but don't, and that the Kardashians are not from Star Trek, but L.A. It's also trying to figure out television, especially (at least for me) the fascination with reality television. I love a good sitcom, and I adore NCIS--they tell a story and develop characters. But I must be honest--I have no desire to know or be a real housewife from anywhere. Those women are scary. Why bring this up in a discussion of Psalm 90? Because it seems to me that what makes me uncomfortable about those kinds of shows (and a lot of American culture) is a lack of fear of the Lord and a desire for real wisdom.

Maybe I'm particularly attuned to this because an understanding of what real wisdom is used to be something I really struggled with--and sometimes still do. I am a teacher, and that has been how I identified myself for a long time. It was important to me to be smart. I know a great deal about my subject, particularly about literature, and I am very well-read. This was a matter of pride for me. I am an expert in something. And then I moved to Russia. And I wasn't an expert in anything. I couldn't plug in John's XBox without literally blowing it up. One day, not long after we arrived, I was crying to a colleague about feeling so stupid all the time, and she remarked, "Maybe God is stripping you of the need to be smart." OUCH. As I examined my life, I discovered that she was right. I had gotten used to depending on my knowledge, my expertise, my ideas about things. I had substituted my knowledge for God's wisdom, and what God calls wisdom--numbering my days correctly. In other words, putting together my life and my priorities in a way that honors our God, who is to be feared. He is not a genie in a bottle, who only comes out when we need something. He is not a feel good self-help guru. He is the God of the Universe, and He requires complete obedience, complete dependence on Him.

That idea--that our days correctly numbered are about God and His priorities--is the exact opposite of our culture, isn't it? Everywhere I look, there are messages telling me that I--and what I want--are the focal point of the universe. But God's truth tells me something altogether different. It's all about Him. Though the world tells me that my values lies in being thin, wealthy, and beautiful (and having strangely puffed up lips), God's word tells me that I'm valued because I'm His. His work, His creation, His. And that, my friends, is good news of great joy for all people.

Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are numbering your days correctly, and that you are headed to your son's first basketball game today, too. Blessings to You and Yours!

His,
Kellye

Psalm 90, pt. 1: I am not the center of the universe, it turns out

Sheer goofiness. Hannah and Sarah Beth at the beach in St. Augustine, Florida, on New Year's Eve, 2010.

The girls.

LORD, You have been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were born or You gave birth to the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, You are God. Psalm 90:1-2

Psalm 90 is one of my favorite psalms. Of course, I'm partial to Psalms as a book, anyway; I read at least one every morning as part of my quiet time. But Psalm 90 is particularly special to me, because it is one I returned to again and again during our first term on the mission field. So I wanted to take some time to share with you why the different parts of the psalm are important to me.

Please know up front that I make no claims to Biblical scholarship; I don't know any ancient languages; I can't tell you that much even about the context, especially in the psalms. But while I love to study and know those things and feel that they add a layer of understanding to my reading of Scripture, I truly believe that the strength of God's Word at work in our lives is that we don't have to know those things in order to be enlightened and enriched by Scripture. I am often moved and amazed by just the beauty of the psalms and their application to my life at any given moment.

The first two verses of Psalm 90 put me in my right place in relation to God's majesty and power. In my life (am I the only one who does this?), I can often think that my life, my problems, my situation is earth-shattering and should be at the top of God's (and everyone else's) to-do list. I find myself whining to God, "But what about me?!?!" (Aren't you glad He doesn't just throw up His hands in disgust and pronounce that He's giving up on us?) When I am feeling like the world is firmly centered on me, inevitably these verses come to mind. From everlasting to everlasting, He is God. He has been my dwelling place; He will continue to be my dwelling place. He doesn't change, nor does His goodness and mercy. No matter how things look or (especially) how they feel, no matter how dire I believe the situation to be, He will never be anything but what He is--almighty, everlasting God. I cannot look at my life in the same way when I come face to face with the God of the Ages. I can be nothing but humble when I recognize that He who birthed the earth and put the mountains in place, He who is God from eternity to eternity...He loves me. He shows me mercy and grace beyond comprehension. He is God forever, and He is mine. When I call, He hears and comes to me. When I seek Him, I find Him. I cannot be lost from Him. I am His forever. My problems, my feelings, my life cannot be the same in the face of His glory.

In a world where everything tells me that I am the most important person in the room, I am grateful for God's Word, which reminds me that I'm definitely not. You know what? Being that self-absorbed and self-important is a lot of pressure and responsibility. It's a lot of work. And it doesn't bring me joy or contentment or peace or fulfillment. But a life with the Everlasting God at its center brings all those things. And though they may not make me famous or even infamous, those things are the hallmarks of the life I desire, the life that I most treasure. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are seeking fervently a life of fulfillment in God, and that your best friend in the world is coming to your house in less than a week, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye