Saturday, January 8, 2011

Psalm 90, pt.2: Numbering my days

Both of my girls love the beach. This is Villano Beach in St. Augustine, Florida.
They also love each other, which is pretty nice. And yes, Hannah is this much taller than SB. :)

Who understands the power of Your anger and Your fury, according to the fear that is due You? So teach us to number our days, that we may present to you a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:11-12

One of the really interesting things about living overseas is coming back to the U.S. and being confronted by things in the culture that seem really strange. It's coming home to realize that Taylor Swift is a name you should know, but don't, and that the Kardashians are not from Star Trek, but L.A. It's also trying to figure out television, especially (at least for me) the fascination with reality television. I love a good sitcom, and I adore NCIS--they tell a story and develop characters. But I must be honest--I have no desire to know or be a real housewife from anywhere. Those women are scary. Why bring this up in a discussion of Psalm 90? Because it seems to me that what makes me uncomfortable about those kinds of shows (and a lot of American culture) is a lack of fear of the Lord and a desire for real wisdom.

Maybe I'm particularly attuned to this because an understanding of what real wisdom is used to be something I really struggled with--and sometimes still do. I am a teacher, and that has been how I identified myself for a long time. It was important to me to be smart. I know a great deal about my subject, particularly about literature, and I am very well-read. This was a matter of pride for me. I am an expert in something. And then I moved to Russia. And I wasn't an expert in anything. I couldn't plug in John's XBox without literally blowing it up. One day, not long after we arrived, I was crying to a colleague about feeling so stupid all the time, and she remarked, "Maybe God is stripping you of the need to be smart." OUCH. As I examined my life, I discovered that she was right. I had gotten used to depending on my knowledge, my expertise, my ideas about things. I had substituted my knowledge for God's wisdom, and what God calls wisdom--numbering my days correctly. In other words, putting together my life and my priorities in a way that honors our God, who is to be feared. He is not a genie in a bottle, who only comes out when we need something. He is not a feel good self-help guru. He is the God of the Universe, and He requires complete obedience, complete dependence on Him.

That idea--that our days correctly numbered are about God and His priorities--is the exact opposite of our culture, isn't it? Everywhere I look, there are messages telling me that I--and what I want--are the focal point of the universe. But God's truth tells me something altogether different. It's all about Him. Though the world tells me that my values lies in being thin, wealthy, and beautiful (and having strangely puffed up lips), God's word tells me that I'm valued because I'm His. His work, His creation, His. And that, my friends, is good news of great joy for all people.

Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are numbering your days correctly, and that you are headed to your son's first basketball game today, too. Blessings to You and Yours!

His,
Kellye

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