One year in Vienna

Hannah with her sweet friend, Emily--deep friendships are one of the perks of our life overseas. We love these girls so much!

Tash is kind of a basket case. Get it? BASKET case? Oh, how I love a good pun.

John with Uncle Don (who is showing him a cool card trick)--another bonus of our life overseas is the aunts and uncles who invest in my kids' lives. 

Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to Your name give glory because of Your lovingkindness, because of Your truth. Psalm 115:1

Well, my friends, it's a momentous day in the Hooks' house today--it's our one-year anniversary in Vienna. Our flight arrived around noon, and we were met by a contingency of people at the airport and in our flat. It was, indeed, a team effort to get us from the airport here. :) There were hugs and lots of laughing, some exhausted kids, a game of pick up basketball, I think...the day itself is a bit of a blur. I can remember my friend, Tina, and I searching our suitcases for sheets. On top of our one year anniversary in Vienna, this week marks five years since we arrived overseas, when our little troop of five arrived in Moscow, Russia. Can you believe that? Five years?!?!?! Where has the time gone?

If you know me or follow this blog, you can imagine that I spent the week thinking about who I was a year ago (and five years ago), and who I am now. I'm definitely not who I was, nor will I be the same person a year from now. The life of faith is definitely an ongoing journey, ever-changing, pushing us to grow and adapt to whatever this path has for us. Of course, I thought about all this amidst a week full of work on Engage Sochi with our partners from Sochi, so this might not be as comprehensive a list as possible, but here are some things I've learned from my time overseas.

• God is way bigger than I can think or imagine. I have had a five year front-row seat for the work of the God of everything. To say that I stand amazed in the presence is an understatement. My sense of awe at who He is and how He works has exploded. Some things, my friends, are not explainable by anything other than His hand. Some things are not logical or practical. A perfect example: Marc got out the proposal he wrote for Engage Sochi right after the Vancouver Olympic games. As he was perusing it (he hadn't looked at it in a while), almost everything in his "dream" proposal has come true, and the rest is on the way to coming true. Nothing in that proposal, which he considered at the time completely outlandish, looks undoable. Not for us, not because of us, not because of anything but the hand of Almighty God. When you are allowed the opportunity to see that kind of work firsthand, your perspective of who He is cannot remain the same. 
• There is value in suffering. My friends in Eastern Europe are snickering, because suffering is definitely a theological theme there. But as I look at my life, at my own heart, at the hearts of my family...an easy life with a white picket fence did not produce empathy and compassion and kindness in us. I have watched Hannah weep at the dinner table over lost friends. The person who has that kind of heart is the person God has refined. And you know what? Refining is an ugly, painful, terrible process. But nothing produces godly character like refining. Suffering over time has made us dependent on God, on what He can do that we cannot. It has allowed us to say perhaps the most important thing we've ever said to our children: I do not know if it will be ok. I cannot promise that. But I know for sure and for certain that God knows, that He cares, that He is in charge, and that we are not alone. If my children learn nothing else from their time overseas (and the things they have learned certainly could fill a few blogs), if they get nothing out of this experience except that God loves them and cares about their lives and is in control...then our time here will have been well-spent. And nothing in our lives has produced that knowledge like suffering. 
• Real friendships and relationships are gifts from God. Our time overseas has produced the closest friendships we have ever known. Not do-you-want-to-go-to-Roadhouse-for-lunch friendships (although there is nothing wrong with those at all!), but deep, cry-out-to-God-on-behalf-of friendships. Love-each-other's-children-like-your-own friendships. (I'll stop with the dashes. Sorry.) We have deep, deep friendships with some of our colleagues, and they are treasures. To be called Uncle Marc and Aunt Kellye is high on my list of things I love about my life overseas. To have people I love and admire be uncle and aunt to my children--incredible blessings. Half of my time at AGM in Greece this summer was spent catching people up on Sarah Beth (we decided we needed t-shirts that read, "Yes, we like him a lot. Yes, we think he's the one." on them, just because so many people asked about her boyfriend) and catching up on all of our kids across the world. Amazing, amazing, amazing to be allowed to love people like that. 
• This life takes an entire family. I have heard so many tales of people overseas whose parents and family are not supportive. Or maybe they just don't get it. Marc and I have not experienced even a second of that. Our families have been incredibly supportive, have sent packages, gifts, money, and cards, have called, have emailed, and most of all, have prayed. What a legacy of faith for my kids. This little venture, this business of a life somewhere that is not my own, has been made immeasurably better and more doable by the support of my family and Marc's. I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again: when we leave, they stand at the airport and wave goodbye. Neither side of that is easy. But to see the faithfulness of our families to send us off, even when it hurts and they miss us...amazing. A gift we could not have experienced in any other life.
• I don't know it all, nor am I the smartest person in the room. And it doesn't matter which room it is, my friends. I am not the smartest person there. After years of being an expert in my field, I held a pretty high opinion of my own intellect. Then I went to Russia and had to learn Russian. Then I went to Czech Republic and couldn't even begin to learn Czech. Then I went to Austria and had to learn German. If that won't humble a person, I'm not sure what will. And I think it's interesting that God chose my own personal pride point--my ability with words--as the place to humble me most. OUCH. It hurt. It really did. I hated speaking Russian like a five-year-old. I hate making language mistakes. But now, I have the ability to laugh at myself, to giggle with the lady at the grocery store when I say something silly, to not get my hackles up when the pastor at church corrects my grammar (wo SIND die Kinder, not wo IST die Kinder)...to know that I am responsible for doing the best I can do in any given situation, whether it's language learning or handling a difficult relationship or figuring out how to stretch our money as far as it will go, but the rest is up to God. 
• I don't have to be happy to be content and joyful. I was unhappy in Moscow for quite a while. Vienna hasn't been a piece of cake, either. But to allow circumstances to rob me of contentment in what God is doing is a sin. It's one I really struggle with, friends. This is an area where God is still really knocking me around and chiseling some yucky stuff away. He's doing it now, even while I write this. He'll probably still be doing it when I take my last breath. To throw away bitterness, to be less critical of people...it's the cry of my heart, because it's something I struggle with on a daily basis. Given half a chance, my heart clings to every bad thing anyone (ever, in the history of mankind) has done, said, or thought in my direction. It is a fault of mine, maybe my biggest. To let things go does not come naturally to me. But every single day, God is faithful to answer my prayer for help and guidance in letting things go. And you know what? I'm really content with my life right now. I'm getting to see Him really do some stuff in our lives, in this amazing city, in our relationships--because He is faithful to answer that prayer for contentment no matter what, for joy no matter what. If we spend the rest of our career in Vienna, I'm okay with that. If He does something else with us, I'm okay with that. (It'd be nice if German was the last language we learn. I'm just putting it out there.) But only God can make it possible for me to say that, because on my own...well, it's not pretty what I'd be like on my own. Think a combination of Medusa and that old lady from the Hallmark cards, the one who walks around in her robe and is super cranky. Yep. That's pretty much who I am on my own.
• It's all about Him. Oh, friends. I'll sing it with my dying breath. He is faithful and righteous and holy, and His goodness and lovingkindness overwhelm my life. I am never alone. No night is so dark that He is not there. No day is so bright that He cannot be seen. He loves me, He loves you, He loves this amazing city in which I live, He loves Moscow, He loves the world...more than I am capable of understanding. His love reaches to the heavens and His faithfulness stretches to the skies. There is no pit He cannot drag me out of, and there is no height I can reach that would make Him love me more. In all my yucky, weird, quirky wonder--He loves me. He pursues me. He gave me Marc, Sarah Beth, Hannah and John; He gave me Kay and Cathy, Momma and Daddy...all those people on the fields of the world who love me and are loved by me...all gifts from the Giver of all good things. I am daily overwhelmed and awestruck and humbled by who He is. He has invited me on this adventure with Him not because I am particularly worthy, but because in the least worthy person His glory is best displayed. I am a broken jar of clay loved and adored by the Creator of the Universe. I will never, never, never get over it. 

These are just a few of the long list of things I've learned over the last five years. If you have read this blog over some or all of that time, thank you for taking this journey with me. It is such an honor and privilege to have the chance to tell people about what God is doing here and around the world, to talk about my little family, to ask you to pray for us and with us for the people of Europe. I am just a nerdy bookworm from Middleburg, Florida, and the fact that anybody cares to read my ramblings always kind of amazes me. So--thanks for that. Wherever you are in the world, I challenge you to sit down and think about what you've learned in the last five years, and I pray that your heart is as thankful as mine is today. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Finding peace...and being grateful

Out on the town with my Han last night--it was chilly!

Tash can sometimes make it difficult to have my quiet time. Her great love for my prayer journal overwhelms her some mornings.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7


It is cloudy and chilly this morning in Vienna...and I am not complaining! I love fall days that are a bit overcast, a little chilly and windy. Of course, there are colder days to come, perhaps very cold and icy and snowy, but I'm not thinking about those days this morning. I'm enjoying the onset of fall, my very favorite season in Europe. It's really so lovely here. Han and I had a night out last night, and as we were in a park near the center of the city, we noticed that the leaves are starting to change. Just gorgeous. It's the one thing about Florida I didn't love--the lack of real seasons. Oh, there is some cooler air in the winter, but I went whole years without ever putting on a coat. I like coats and scarves and all that stuff. And I really like not having to sweat to death in my own home. I like that a lot!

I have no deep reason to write today--just a general sense of catching up on what's going on here. This is kind of a season of things just rolling along. Language is a huge part of our lives, of course, as we have gone back into language learning. I have to say that I feel very encouraged about how well that is going. We have a tutor who comes to our home, and we love her. She is one of the best teachers I have ever had for any subject. Sometimes, language learning feels like one tiny step forward and fifteen giant steps backward. I don't feel that way right now. I have a real sense of forward movement in our German, and I know that Marc does, too. It doesn't mean we do everything perfectly, because clearly that's not true, nor that we understand everything said to us, because that's not true, either. But more and more, even if I can't quote you the rule, I know intuitively that something is said a particular way. Marc is an intuitive language learner. He knows how it's supposed to sound. He was that way in Russian, and he's that way in German. I never, never felt that way about Russian. Except for a few phrases I said constantly, I had to think my way through every sentence separately to figure out how to say something. And though German has really strict rules about verb placement, and they differ depending on what you're saying, more and more that makes sense to me. I'm translating less into English and more just thinking in German. I can't tell you how encouraging that is. Language learning is just beastly. And learning our third language (English is our first, in case you're wondering) is more difficult than we assumed. But there is definitely forward movement. And I'm so, so grateful for that.

I wrote last that my Daddy was having some medical problems. The surgeon's visit this week was a bit of a mixed bag of good news and really not good news. That's my parents' story to tell, not mine, but suffice to say that I started looking at tickets home after I got off the phone with my parents. But oddly enough, I'm not worried. I'm concerned, of course. I want desperately for my Daddy to be fine, to be perfectly healthy. But that's not the case. At first, of course, I was pretty much a weepy mess. In fact, I told a precious friend the next day after the surgeon's visit that I simply could not pray aloud for her when we were paired at a meeting, for fear of being a weepy disaster, something I prefer not to do if at all possible. I'm grateful for those friends, aren't you? The ones you can just be 100% open and honest with. (She, by the way, went on to pray something really beautiful and gorgeous over me...I literally felt the calm and peace just sweep over my soul.) And a year after coming to Vienna, I can look around and say that I really have several of those kinds of friendships here. I have taken some time this week to be grateful for those women here who I feel completely at ease and open with. A year ago, I felt like that would not happen here. I was so homesick for my Russian friends. And I still miss them, of course, but I'm also really grateful for the friendships God has provided right here--women who are really a treasure in my life. If you are one of those women...thanks so much.

So we continue to forge ahead, taking the bad news as well as possible, and making time to be intentionally thankful and grateful for the way our God has really provided so much encouragement to us lately. Sarah Beth is happy and healthy and in love. John loves middle school and is playing soccer on the school team. Hannah loves her voice lessons, and even said to me the other day, "I'm really content with my life in Vienna. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else." (If you know Han's history here, you know that's a HUGE statement, and certainly a testimony to what the love and care and planning of some adults at her school has done for her life.)  Our lives are not untouched by the yuckiness of life, the stuff that everyone has to deal with. And we're not immune to the annoyances of daily life, for sure. (Please let the campaign season be over quickly, Lord. PLEASE!!!) But there really is a peace that passes understanding, a sense of gratefulness for the thousands of blessings that just cover our lives. Of course, we're praying like crazy for Daddy and Momma, for the doctors, for wisdom, for my sisters and I to know what to do and when...but that prayer isn't frantic or panicked. My parents have served our Jesus their whole lives. He isn't going to leave or forsake them any more than He is going to leave or forsake us. Surely in the midst of a bad situation, that is really good news.

I have so much to get done today, and I have my list all prepared. Plus, it's Saturday, and that means somewhere in the course of my day, our flat will smell like Marc's chili, and that's a great thing. (Our next door neighbors are from Nepal, and I don't know what she made yesterday for lunch, but it was the best-smelling stuff ever. I almost went over and asked for a bite.) We will have guests next week, and that will be fun. So lots to look forward to--always a good thing. Wherever you are in the world, and whatever situation you find yourself in, know that the peace that passes all understanding is available to you, too. And go Gators!! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Being Brave

If you've known us for long, you've seen these kinds of pictures for five years. It's good to have a best friend.

Hannah in her favorite place with her favorite person...pretty good. :)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

The way it always was is no longer good enough. You make me want to be brave. --"Brave" by Nichole Nordeman

I haven't written in a while, because I've been crazy busy and frankly, I didn't have a lot to say. I don't know that I have a ton to say now, but if I don't write every once in a while, my parents think something is wrong, so here I am. :) This is the first morning this week with even a hint of time to write--language lessons and just living are pretty much eating up my life. But that's ok. I like busy. I get into trouble when I'm not busy. When Sarah Beth was in kindergarten, her teacher didn't think it was fair to make her do extra work, but SB had finished the "checklist" for kindergarten by the end of the sixth week. While others had tasks to do, Sarah Beth was allowed to play and create on her own. We begged the teacher (we warned her) to give SB some extra work, promising we wouldn't feel bad if she had more to do, because we KNEW what happened when she got bored. Sure enough, sometime around December I received an instant message at my school across town that said, "If Miss Sarah Beth misbehaves one more time today, I'm going to suspend her." Yep. A note from the principal. Niiiiiiceeeee. After that, the teacher gave her more to do. Lesson learned. The Hooks are not good at bored.

So what, exactly, is making me so busy? Well, lots of stuff. I'm doing a little volunteering at the kids' school--nothing major, but it still takes time. I'm also Marc's secretary, so I take care of emails and appointments and scheduling and finance reports, and that takes time. I'm back in language learning, so that takes a HUGE amount of my time. (But it's going well! I love my teacher, even though she is kicking me in the patootie with the German every day!) And frankly, just living in a land that isn't yours takes time--interpreting and translating letters and bills, figuring out medicine and doctors, getting kids from one place to the other (although they do a lot of that on their own, which is nice), laundry, cooking, cleaning...you get the idea. Everything just takes a little longer than in the States. But that's ok. Like I said...boredom is risky for all of us.

What happens when I'm bored? Well, kind of like Miss Sarah Beth, I get into mischief when I'm bored. I don't hide the teacher's purse (true story) or glue stuff to the ground (don't ask), but I fall into stinky old habits--discontent, a critical spirit, and--the biggie for me--anxiety. Given half a chance, anxiety can sure enough wring the joy right out of me. And friends, I've had some stuff to be anxious about. Just stuff. Some of it mine, some of it my kids', some of it my family's. If you know my parents, you know that my Dad is facing a pretty serious (and discombobulating) health problem, one that makes us all say, "What?!" Hannah's situation in Wien hasn't been all that pleasant. My beloved uncle is in treatment for skin cancer. The summer was ridiculously hot, breeding discontent and snarkiness. (And Florida folks, I love you so much, but do not compare your heat to ours. You have air conditioning. That is the end of that story. If you do not have air conditioning and are sweating through the sheets every night, then you can compare. But if you aren't seriously considering sleeping in your car because it's the only thing with ac, then I don't want to hear you complain about how hot it is from your air conditioned house to your air conditioned car.) I think sometimes on this blog I make it sound like all the problems we face here are metaphoric, deep, esoteric things, that in the daily living, we are living a fairy tale. If I have done that, it has not been my intention. Life is hard. I don't care where you are, life is hard. You know what? If I was sitting in Middleburg, Florida, my Daddy would still have the same health problem, and I would still be concerned about it. It doesn't matter where you are. Nobody on earth is living the fairy tale. I live in a beautiful place, to be sure, and I absolutely adore my adopted city. I love my neighborhood. I even kind of like German. But our life is not a fairy tale here. Nor was it a fairy tale in Middleburg or Moscow or Prague. It just is what it is. It's difficult and messy and full of big mistakes that sometimes aren't as funny as we pretend they are in order to make ourselves feel better. Life is just hard.

Now, before you think this is the most depressing thing I've ever written (just call me Eeyore), I have good news. The comfort and peace that comes from serving a God bigger than the scary, creepy, and very messy life we live here is real and sure and trustworthy. You know what? I'm not worried about my Dad. I'm concerned, for sure. I'm anxious to hear what the surgeon he meets with on Monday has to say. I want to hear some good news. But...and this is hard for me to write...if it's not good news, or even worse, if it's no news at all...I know for sure and certain that my Jesus, who my Daddy has served his whole life, loves Daddy way more than even I do, or Kay, or Cathy (the three biggest Daddy's girls on earth) or Momma. We think Hannah's situation is improving. But if it doesn't, I know for sure and certain that Jesus, who she serves with a boldness and dedication that inspires me, loves her way more than even her Momma and Daddy and sister and brother do. Our sweet Sarah Beth is half a world away, but I know Jesus has her in the palm of His hand. How do I know? Because He promised. He said the Lord my God would be with me where I went, and that means Middleburg, Siloam Springs, Moscow, Prague, Plzen, and Vienna. (That's a long list of different languages. I sure would love for German to be the last on that list.) And that means that no matter how far away I am from the people I desperately love, He is with them, too. I can be brave no matter what comes, I can have courage, I can be strong...but only because of Him. Only because of our relationship. Only because I know from my own experience that He is trustworthy and faithful, no matter what circumstances or changes I face. And if you don't think there is real comfort and peace to be found there...well, you're wrong. There is.

So I march on in my busy life, feeling a modicum of peace about the bad stuff going on, and taking joy in the good stuff. Two babies are due this fall in my family (one any second). I'm going to the States in December to see people I love get married and have some Christmas time with Sarah Beth. Hannah loves her voice teacher and is thrilled to be taking serious music lessons. John adores everything about middle school (except the math homework...not so wild about that). I'm having lunch today with girlfriends, people I really love and like a lot. Ministry opportunities are popping up in our neighborhood. We have found (thanks to my sweet friend, Stacy) what may be the perfect German teacher for us. Marc and I have a really cool project we're working on. We finally feel like we're putting some roots down in Vienna. And--hallelujah!--it looks like fall has finally come to Vienna. All of those are things to rejoice in. And all of those are gifts from the Father.  And we're thankful. Really, really thankful.

I don't know what is going on in your life, your heart, your circumstances.But I do know that if you have a heartbeat and are breathing, you have problems. And I promise you this--there is peace and comfort to be found in relationship with the One who loves you more than you can imagine. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you know His comfort and peace and rest, and that you are enjoying the onslaught of cooler temperatures where you are, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Coming into Focus

First day of sixth grade for John, first day of tenth grade for Han...where have the years gone??

The football shrine--Oklahoma Sooners on one side, Florida Gators on the other, and College Gameday on the television.

My man loves his Sooners...ready for a nice day celebrating the opening of our favorite season!

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

Well, we made it through the first week of school. There were some bad moments, but there were also some great moments, and we're steadily focusing on them. The bad stuff? Not a whole lot we can do about right now, except pray, and it makes the good stuff seem really precious. That's not wholly terrible, I think, to keep the good in perspective, when it's easy to shuffle it off to the side and forget about it. And so, we're focusing on the good, on the fun of school starting, college football season starting, cooler temperatures, etc. We love fall, and fall in Austria is incredible, so we're focusing on that, too...the anticipation of some day trips around the country, of football games, getting to know our new church, cooking chili...you get the idea. Focusing on the positive.

I've been thinking about focus a good bit, lately, mostly because I'm having a problem with my left eye. Actually, I'm not sure if I'm having a problem with my left eye or with my contact. I changed contacts (mine are the kind you keep for a month at a time), and I suddenly can't focus my left eye without some actual thought about focusing it. And sometimes, I can't get it to focus at all, which leaves me a little bit discombobulated. (Plus, I've started doing that middle-aged thing where you hold something far away until it comes into focus. When did that happen?!?!?!) So, obviously, focus has become a big thing in my life recently. Or at least a thing I'm thinking about it more than I normally do.

Last night, we had friends over, and we got to telling stories about stupid junk we've done overseas. Mistakes in language, in culture, getting fed up and yelling in English (yep...that one was me...in Ashan for those of you who know that store well), and just generally not being the spiritual giants we'd like to think God sends overseas. We were laughing. Laughing hard. Because if you've lived overseas for any amount of time--even a couple of weeks--you've done something stupid and felt ridiculous about it. You've been humbled by which greeting is appropriate in which setting. You've accidentally used the informal when you were supposed to use the formal and really offended someone. You've sat in church and had to glance around to see which book of the Bible the pastor is reading out of, because you don't know them in the current language. (By the way--sometimes it's not a translation. It's just that they call it a totally different name. Can you say Second Moses?) You've misunderstood something said to you. Or you've just had it with trying to find your kids' school supplies in thirty different stores. You either have to laugh, or you have to cry. And having tried both, I can say from experience that laughter is far preferable.

But here's the good news: it gets better. I don't think about the school supply shopping, because I'm used to it. The weird stuff that doesn't even remotely resemble the way we do it in America (because T.I.N.A.--this is not America) doesn't seem weird to me, anymore. The way I pay my bills, the way I get to the grocery or to the kids' school...none of it fazes me, anymore, because it is what life is here. And generally speaking, I like life overseas, so that stuff doesn't bother me...ANYMORE. But my friends in Moscow will laugh when they read this, because those exact things used to drive me NUTS when I first moved overseas. CRAZY. But they just are part of life, now. So it gets better.

And that's an encouraging word, isn't it, about a lot of things. Not just culture shock or learning a language, but just life in general. Things change. They get better. Or they don't, but you learn to live with them, or you grow in your own life to the point that they aren't as big a deal, anymore. And the only way I know for that kind of growth to happen is to focus on Christ. On His glory. On His path, His will, on His all-encompassing love for us. When I am focused on Him...the things of earth do, indeed, grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.

So what does that have to do with the great cloud of witnesses? If you have experienced a real life and relationship with fellow believers--no matter the language--then you know what an encouragement that is to focus on Christ, on the positive things in life, on the immense blessings He rains down on those who love Him and believe. And those relationships are very often the way God encourages me to focus on Him. Sometimes, that's an encouragement to pray with one another, to worship together, to praise Him together...and sometimes, it's just sitting in our flat with friends, laughing and laughing at how stupid we sometimes are in His name. I have to believe that in both those scenarios--the serious and the silly--God is pleased when we pay attention not only to the great cloud who have gone before us, but also to the witnesses we do life with every day. I have to believe He smiles when we choose to love one another and encourage one another out of our great, common love for Him. We are commanded to love the brethren...I have to believe that making chili, watching football and laughing together definitely falls under that category.

Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are focused on Christ, on His goodness, on His cross, on His love...and that you have leftover chili in the crockpot today, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye