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| If you've known us for long, you've seen these kinds of pictures for five years. It's good to have a best friend. |
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| Hannah in her favorite place with her favorite person...pretty good. :) |
The way it always was is no longer good enough. You make me want to be brave. --"Brave" by Nichole Nordeman
I haven't written in a while, because I've been crazy busy and frankly, I didn't have a lot to say. I don't know that I have a ton to say now, but if I don't write every once in a while, my parents think something is wrong, so here I am. :) This is the first morning this week with even a hint of time to write--language lessons and just living are pretty much eating up my life. But that's ok. I like busy. I get into trouble when I'm not busy. When Sarah Beth was in kindergarten, her teacher didn't think it was fair to make her do extra work, but SB had finished the "checklist" for kindergarten by the end of the sixth week. While others had tasks to do, Sarah Beth was allowed to play and create on her own. We begged the teacher (we warned her) to give SB some extra work, promising we wouldn't feel bad if she had more to do, because we KNEW what happened when she got bored. Sure enough, sometime around December I received an instant message at my school across town that said, "If Miss Sarah Beth misbehaves one more time today, I'm going to suspend her." Yep. A note from the principal. Niiiiiiceeeee. After that, the teacher gave her more to do. Lesson learned. The Hooks are not good at bored.
So what, exactly, is making me so busy? Well, lots of stuff. I'm doing a little volunteering at the kids' school--nothing major, but it still takes time. I'm also Marc's secretary, so I take care of emails and appointments and scheduling and finance reports, and that takes time. I'm back in language learning, so that takes a HUGE amount of my time. (But it's going well! I love my teacher, even though she is kicking me in the patootie with the German every day!) And frankly, just living in a land that isn't yours takes time--interpreting and translating letters and bills, figuring out medicine and doctors, getting kids from one place to the other (although they do a lot of that on their own, which is nice), laundry, cooking, cleaning...you get the idea. Everything just takes a little longer than in the States. But that's ok. Like I said...boredom is risky for all of us.
What happens when I'm bored? Well, kind of like Miss Sarah Beth, I get into mischief when I'm bored. I don't hide the teacher's purse (true story) or glue stuff to the ground (don't ask), but I fall into stinky old habits--discontent, a critical spirit, and--the biggie for me--anxiety. Given half a chance, anxiety can sure enough wring the joy right out of me. And friends, I've had some stuff to be anxious about. Just stuff. Some of it mine, some of it my kids', some of it my family's. If you know my parents, you know that my Dad is facing a pretty serious (and discombobulating) health problem, one that makes us all say, "What?!" Hannah's situation in Wien hasn't been all that pleasant. My beloved uncle is in treatment for skin cancer. The summer was ridiculously hot, breeding discontent and snarkiness. (And Florida folks, I love you so much, but do not compare your heat to ours. You have air conditioning. That is the end of that story. If you do not have air conditioning and are sweating through the sheets every night, then you can compare. But if you aren't seriously considering sleeping in your car because it's the only thing with ac, then I don't want to hear you complain about how hot it is from your air conditioned house to your air conditioned car.) I think sometimes on this blog I make it sound like all the problems we face here are metaphoric, deep, esoteric things, that in the daily living, we are living a fairy tale. If I have done that, it has not been my intention. Life is hard. I don't care where you are, life is hard. You know what? If I was sitting in Middleburg, Florida, my Daddy would still have the same health problem, and I would still be concerned about it. It doesn't matter where you are. Nobody on earth is living the fairy tale. I live in a beautiful place, to be sure, and I absolutely adore my adopted city. I love my neighborhood. I even kind of like German. But our life is not a fairy tale here. Nor was it a fairy tale in Middleburg or Moscow or Prague. It just is what it is. It's difficult and messy and full of big mistakes that sometimes aren't as funny as we pretend they are in order to make ourselves feel better. Life is just hard.
Now, before you think this is the most depressing thing I've ever written (just call me Eeyore), I have good news. The comfort and peace that comes from serving a God bigger than the scary, creepy, and very messy life we live here is real and sure and trustworthy. You know what? I'm not worried about my Dad. I'm concerned, for sure. I'm anxious to hear what the surgeon he meets with on Monday has to say. I want to hear some good news. But...and this is hard for me to write...if it's not good news, or even worse, if it's no news at all...I know for sure and certain that my Jesus, who my Daddy has served his whole life, loves Daddy way more than even I do, or Kay, or Cathy (the three biggest Daddy's girls on earth) or Momma. We think Hannah's situation is improving. But if it doesn't, I know for sure and certain that Jesus, who she serves with a boldness and dedication that inspires me, loves her way more than even her Momma and Daddy and sister and brother do. Our sweet Sarah Beth is half a world away, but I know Jesus has her in the palm of His hand. How do I know? Because He promised. He said the Lord my God would be with me where I went, and that means Middleburg, Siloam Springs, Moscow, Prague, Plzen, and Vienna. (That's a long list of different languages. I sure would love for German to be the last on that list.) And that means that no matter how far away I am from the people I desperately love, He is with them, too. I can be brave no matter what comes, I can have courage, I can be strong...but only because of Him. Only because of our relationship. Only because I know from my own experience that He is trustworthy and faithful, no matter what circumstances or changes I face. And if you don't think there is real comfort and peace to be found there...well, you're wrong. There is.
So I march on in my busy life, feeling a modicum of peace about the bad stuff going on, and taking joy in the good stuff. Two babies are due this fall in my family (one any second). I'm going to the States in December to see people I love get married and have some Christmas time with Sarah Beth. Hannah loves her voice teacher and is thrilled to be taking serious music lessons. John adores everything about middle school (except the math homework...not so wild about that). I'm having lunch today with girlfriends, people I really love and like a lot. Ministry opportunities are popping up in our neighborhood. We have found (thanks to my sweet friend, Stacy) what may be the perfect German teacher for us. Marc and I have a really cool project we're working on. We finally feel like we're putting some roots down in Vienna. And--hallelujah!--it looks like fall has finally come to Vienna. All of those are things to rejoice in. And all of those are gifts from the Father. And we're thankful. Really, really thankful.
I don't know what is going on in your life, your heart, your circumstances.But I do know that if you have a heartbeat and are breathing, you have problems. And I promise you this--there is peace and comfort to be found in relationship with the One who loves you more than you can imagine. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you know His comfort and peace and rest, and that you are enjoying the onslaught of cooler temperatures where you are, too. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
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