Taking every thought captive

We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ...II Corinthians 10:5

I realized this morning that I haven't written for a while, so although there isn't much to report here, I thought I should catch you up on what's been going on.

The big thing in our lives right now is that we are losing our friends Tim and Cathy to new visa laws here in Russia--laws we avoided by only days. Because of these new laws, Tim and Cathy are headed to Prague for the next six months. We are, of course, very sad about this--they are so special to us, and we will miss them immensely. But it's also been challenging for us that they are headed to Prague, where so many people we really love are on the field. Some of our very closest friends are in Prague...and it's hard not to think about how great it would be to be together. It's hard not to wonder why God called us to such a hard, hard place. To add to our very mixed feelings about the situation, the other couple our field is losing to this law is headed to Poland, where they'll be working with others to whom we are very close. It's hard not to think about what will happen if/when these laws impact us. It's hard to get up in the morning and learn this language while wondering at the same time if we'll even be allowed to stay. It's hard...it's just hard.

But we are taking every thought captive. God called us here. For whatever reason, He specifically called us here. But I won't lie to you...it's hard to look at what others are accomplishing and not be jealous. It's hard not to compare. Our friends are all being allowed to do ministry outside of language study (we are not--it's a policy specific to our area of Russia that we can only do language study and nothing else)...and here we sit. And we know that learning the language IS our ministry right now. We really do know that. But it's a frustrating ministry, especially for Marc. So we are taking every thought captive, believing our big God has a big purpose here, and learning how to use the instrumental case of Russian. (Don't tell Marc, but it's my favorite, because in this case, his name is Markom.) :o)

Other than that, there's not much to report. We are all struggling with colds. Marc has slept on the couch for more nights than I can count, because he coughs so much that he can't sleep. I watched "Murder She Wrote" in Russian last night. That was pretty fun. Life is just life. We're doing language study and trying to make a life. Oh, and we've started reading The Chronicles of Narnia as a family at night. That's pretty fun.

Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are having a good day, and that you're not comparing your life and your work to anyone else, remembering that God's plan for your life is perfect and pleasing...even if it means learning the instrumental case of the Russian language. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

Bearing one another's burdens

Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

My home church is reeling from the loss of a young lady who has been part of the church for many, many years. Her parents are pillars of the church. She has been there, as far as I know, for most, if not all, of her life. She died Saturday from injuries sustained in a car accident while she was driving back to college. How do people stand up under that kind of grief? A dear friend lost her husband a little over three years ago. She is my age, a widow with two young children. How does one stand up under that kind of loss? I received a call yesterday from one of the closest friends I have on earth, and she is struggling with grief over a loss, not of a person, but of a way of life. How do we hold up under heart-wrenching grief and mourning?

I'm no philosopher, but I think the answer is that we don't. I know that I am personally incapable of withstanding that kind of loss on my own. I can't hold up under the loss of people or of places or traditions precious to me under my own strength. Nor do I believe from looking at God's Word that He intended me to stand up under grief and loss on my own. In many ways, this blog is a way to let people who love me know what is going on in my life so that they can pray and help me bear those burdens. My friend who called was doing what is sound Biblically--she was asking a sister in Christ to help bear her burdens. My friend whose husband died, though she is a very private person, allowed people who loved her to step in and take care of some of that burden for her...and she did so with much grace. I fully believe the family who has lost this priceless child will allow their church family to surround them and hold them up during this time.

You know what isn't Biblical? It isn't Biblical to keep all of your burdens to yourself. For many years, I refused to allow anyone in enough to know what I was feeling and where I was hurting. I saw that as a sign of weakness, and if there's anything I don't want to be, it's weak. But what I've found as I've grown up in the last few years is that when Christ says that His strength is made perfect in my weakness, He isn't just saying that--it's true. When I am at my weakest, when I no longer seek to do things and handle things all alone...that's when He shows up and does something big in my life. I miss out on a whole lot of peace when I try to do it all on my own.

Well, it's time for me to run and exercise before I get the rest of the family up and going. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are bearing one another's burdens and fulfilling the law of Christ. And I don't know about you, but I'm going to spend a few more minutes today kissing and hugging my three kiddos and being thankful for them. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

p.s. The picture is the view I see each morning from my kitchen window.

Being a grateful recipient

And He said to them, "Truly I say to you there is no one who has left house or wife of brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not receive many times as much at this time and in the age to come, eternal life." Luke 18:29-30

When I came across this verse in my word study this morning (I've made it to brother, which was a surprisingly long and rich list of verses), I thought about the real truth here. As one who has left home for the sake of the kingdom of God, I can honestly say that I have received much more than I can even think about giving up. In the quiet of this hour--9 a.m. and I'm the only one awake--I have spent some time praising God and thanking Him for what I have gained by following Him.
--salvation and eternal life
--a family focused on His will
--friends like I have not often known in my life
--a chance to know my children in a way I would not have in the States
--a chance to be more than I thought I was
--an opportunity to live in the largest country on earth
--a chance to explore the beauty and history of Russia
--less stress and pressure than in my previous life (on most days)
--time to really know Him
--time to praise Him in ways that do not involve a microphone and a congregation
--a chance to attend a different kind of corporate worship
--a time to discover that corporate worship has very little to do with walls and pews
--struggles and difficulty that I would not have allowed myself in the States

That last one may be a shock to you, but like Paul, I am learning to choose to give thanks to God for everything--even the struggles that can rock me to my core. I have been transparent about the struggles of our children to adjust to life here, especially Hannah. And while that has been one of the most difficult things I am having to endure here, I am learning to daily turn over to God my children, their happiness, their joy and contentment, their friendships. They are, after all, only mine on loan--they really belong to Him. I am thankful for a time in our lives in which I could not solve their problems for them, I could not make them happy, I could not make everything better--and they could see that God is, above all, trustworthy and faithful. My friend Cathy offered me great wisdom when we came here--she told me that whatever it was I was struggling with the most, that's what God was stripping me of at that moment. And I can honestly say that watching my children struggle to adjust to life here has stripped me of a great deal, and that I am thankful to God for His faithfulness in replacing those parts of me that are stripped bare with a little more of Him.

Does that mean I have turned into Mother Teresa here in Moscow? Nope. I often stink it up in the motherhood department, losing my temper over silly things or feeling hopeless and despairing of my children ever being happy and content again. But I am holding on to this more and more--He who began a good work in me is faithful, and He's going to see that work through to its end. I know Whom I have believed, and I believe He is capable of keeping everything for me...even my children.

On a lighter note, we had guests last night--Tim and Cathy and their children Hudson and Caroline--and we had a wonderful time. We ate Marc's chili, laughed and talked, and played Phase Ten (our favorite card game). We had such fun. It is good to laugh with people who completely and totally understand where you were, where you are, and how far you have to go. They even can appreciate our language stories. We also received two boxes from the States, which contained too many wonderful things to count. Oh, the joys of maple flavoring (so I can make my own syrup), of ranch mix, oreos, nutter butters, and cheez-its. And books!!!! Oh, the glory and joy of seeing some of our beloved books in our home here. If you are not a bibliophile (like I am), I'm sure that seems silly to you, but just to see some of our treasures, to know that in our home here we now have things that are "ours," to see beloved books that have notes written in them from Bible study or lectures...my heart is full. But the big hits of the night were the toe socks for the girls, the articles on all things Tebow for Sarah Beth (okay, and me), and Hannah's precious, beloved doll Millie. Many, many thanks for and to our friends who sent these things, who understood the joy the reunion with Millie would bring to our girl who has so struggled to find life here. When they were in bed last night finally--it was well after midnight--I looked up to see Hannah snuggled with Millie closely attached to her side. Too much in my heart for words, but if you are a mom, I think you can figure out how that made me feel.

Well, I am enjoying a second cup of my delicious Starbucks coffee, and I am going to go spend a few minutes just reading a book for fun...until, of course, I hear the pitter patter of little (and not so little) feet. The photo, by the way, is for no other reason than that I think it's funny. Isn't my Sarah Beth beautiful? I know I'm her Mama, but I just think she's so pretty. Even better--she's far more gorgeous on the inside. Blessings abound! I hope wherever you are in the world, you are enjoying God's blessings, too...and maybe a second cup of Starbucks in a quiet house. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

p.s. If you are in Middleburg reading this, you have to ask my Mom where she got the cute Christmas decorations made out of Jiffy Pop popcorn. I'm not even kidding. How cool is that? We all enjoyed those, and the cute paint can lifesaver container. So cute. I have a feeling they were made by a precious friend of mine. You need to ask my Mom.

What darkness?

Even the darkness is not dark to You, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You. Psalm 139:12

When I read this today, I couldn't help but appreciate the irony of reading a verse about darkness and light while living in Russia--where there's mostly darkness. In all fairness, as it gets colder, there's more sunlight--an even trade I am more than willing to make. In fact, yesterday on the metro, I had to squint my eyes when we came into a station above ground because it was so funny. You won't necessarily see that in the pictures, but it was sunny. I'm just glad that the Father of light sees no difference between darkness and light, and I'm even gladder that because of Him, the darkness really doesn't matter much to me, either.

I'm posting some pictures from our excursion yesterday. After Marc's lesson (and our first morning of school for a couple of weeks), we ventured out in the -4 F weather to see what we could see. We had to go to the office to re-register Sarah Beth after her trip to Greece (failure to do so could result in us getting kicked out of the country), so we headed first to Metro Kolomenskaya and the office. It was so freezing cold. Honestly, nothing can keep you warm when it's that cold outside, at least nothing we have here in the city. Our friends out on the peninsula, where it's far, far colder than here, probably have lots of stuff to keep them warm in this kind of temperature.

After our visit to the office, we headed to historic старий арбат (starry arbat), which literally means old arbat. Arbat has historically been the artists' section of Moscow (think Greenwich Village in New York), and there is Old Arbat and New Arbat. We went down Old Arbat and took a look around. Then, treat of treats, we went into Starbucks, where we indulged in hot chocolate (American-style--Russian hot chocolate is like a hot, sugarless pudding) and peppermint mochas. Ah....the glory and joy of peppermint mocha. Anyway, then it was home and take-out pizza from Pizza Hut. Marc had to walk the pizza home, so we heated it up, watched Zack and Cody episodes we'd been saving, played a couple of rounds of Jenga, and then it was off to bed for all of us. It was a really fun afternoon, even if it was pretty cold.

Just a regular day, where we did regular, fun stuff. We were glad to be back on some kind of schedule--everyone agreed that it was great to be back to "normal"--whatever that is here. No more vacation for us. John was particularly glad to get back to math. (How can he be my kid?) Today, we have school, of course, and then Sarah Beth starts her chorus class at Hinkson Christian Academy, which should be fun for her. She'll go on Wednesdays and Fridays. It'll be good to get her out of the apartment with other people, and she'll have it to put on her transcript. Next year, she'll take Russian at Hinkson, so this will be a good dry run of that. I hope wherever you are in the world, you are enjoying being back to normal, good hot chocolate, and peppermint mochas! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

p.s. The picture of John is apropos to nothing--he lost his other front tooth last night, and I just thought he was pretty cute. :o)

The ballet

How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings. They drink their fill of the abundance of Your house; and You give them to drink of the river of Your delights. For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light we see light. Psalm 36:7-9

As I wrote yesterday, we took the children to see The Nutcracker at the Tchaikovsky Theatre last night. What a tremendous evening for us! As you can see from the pictures above, it was not only so fun to see the ballet, but we also had the chance to visit beautiful Triumphal Square, which was unbelievably lit up and gorgeous. If you know the history of Russia at all, you know that Russians have much to be proud of not only in their military history, but also in the absolute tenacity of its people. Beautiful places like Triumphal Square are devoted to memorializing the many times in Russian history when, by all rights, the Russians should have been defeated, but because of their refusal to capitulate, ended up winning the battle. After walking in the -20 Celsius weather, we agreed that some of that tenacity was borne of surviving the cold here. If you can survive the cold, Napoleon and his invaders don't look so daunting.

As we were walking in the city last night, and as I was enjoying the beauty of what I have come to think of as "our" city, I was reminded of something that happened at FPO. Ed, who leads the work here in Russia, was telling the story of Abram and Lot, of Sodom and Gomorrah. But he used a picture of Moscow from Google Earth to tell it. As he got to the part of the story where Abram looks toward Sodom and Gomorrah and sees smoke, he began to cry. I'll never forget it. He said that when Abram looked out and saw smoke, he didn't think about the sinfulness of the city, of how much they deserved punishment. Instead, Abram thought of Lot, whom he loved. As punishment was raining down on Sodom and Gomorrah, Abram wept for the people he loved. Ed added that when he looks at the vastness of Moscow, he does not think about the sinfulness or the lostness of the city, but of the fact that it is full of people he loves.

Almost daily, someone lights a campfire in the woods I see out my kitchen window. I always think of that story...of Ed reminding us that while humans can survive many things, they cannot survive smoke. As we settle into our lives here a little more each day, my constant prayer has become a Godly passion for this immense city, for its millions of people, for its lostness. When we first came here, I never thought I would feel a passion for this city. I was too caught up in trying to make a life here, of getting everyone settled, of choosing to be content in trying circumstances. But now, as we have figured out to some extent what life here is going to be, as we become accustomed to what seem to us the oddities of Russian life...I stand at the kitchen window every morning and pray for my city. I pray for its leaders, for its shopkeepers, for its schoolteachers...and I pray that God will hold off the smoke a little longer.

On a lighter note--one of the best moments of last night was when the music began for the ballet, and John-John got so excited. He said, "Mom, do you know what that is? It's the music for The Nutcracker! I know that music. I do!!!" When I explained that this was The Nutcracker, he literally jumped in his seat and clapped his hands. C'mon...what Mommy could resist that? When Marc took us to eat afterwards at Rostic's--a KFC-owned chicken place--John-John was equally excited that his snot froze in his nose. Hey--it's the little things in life that make it all fun. I'm hoping that wherever you are in the world this morning, your snot is NOT frozen, but that you are enjoying a restful day in God's house. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

What my kids have gained

You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance. Psalm 32:7

Now that she is safely home (and still asleep this morning), I can tell you that Sarah Beth, along with the other teenage MKs from our region, spent New Year's in Greece. They traveled to Thessaloniki for five days. Unfortunately, the kids from Russia got stuck in Sofia, Bulgaria for most of a day, and they didn't arrive home in Moscow until around 2:30 in the morning on Wednesday. However, even though she and her friend, Anna, arrived at our apartment at 3:30, there were still tales they had to tell--of friendships formed, of friendships renewed, of great fun with other MKs, of being able to wear flip-flops and hug palm trees (only the Florida girl would want to do that). After fourteen hours of sleep, we got even more news of MKR--who said what, who did the funniest skit, who wrote and performed a really great song, how much she loved her friends, how much she already missed them...you get the idea. Last night, she spent much of the night on the computer, talking to her friends and simultaneously watching Guys and Dolls--Sarah Beth loves old movies, particularly ones with Frank Sinatra in them.

Why is this important for you to know? I don't know--maybe it's not. If you are one of our "mission friends" around the world, you will understand the importance of things like MKR that the IMB provides for our children. But if you are not--if your child has the opportunity to be involved in a church with lots of programs--it might be important for you to know what your Cooperative Program funds do provide for our kids.

When we first started the process to be appointed as missionaries to Russia, our number one concern (and the IMB's) was Sarah Beth. After all, it's hard enough to pick up and move across the world--add being a teenager to it, and you've exponentially added to your hardship. And in all fairness, Sarah Beth has given up a lot--"normal" high school, a church youth group, summer camp, prom and homecoming dances. But I really believe that if you asked Sarah Beth, she would tell you she has gained far more than she has given up to be here. She has very, very close friends here, she has the chance to homeschool, a system that is working really well for her, she has the opportunity to see things that most people her age (or any age) never get to see and appreciate. But beyond all that, what Sarah Beth (and Hannah and John) have gained, the most important thing I think they will take away from here, is the chance to--as a family--really rely on God's will and His providence for everything. They have been given a rare gift--the chance to see God's hand at work in a very substantial way. Every night, before we eat but after we pray over our meal, someone says, "Ok...best part of the day," and everyone must in turn say what the best part of their day has been. Sometimes, it's something big--a trip to Greece, a trip to Gorky Park to ice skate, a party at someone's house. But more often than not, it's something "little" by the world's standards--a finished crochet project, time to play with new toys, a Russian verb that we finally understand. And all of those things come from God. As far as real life lessons, I'm not sure I can put a price tag on the value of just being grateful for every good gift that comes down from the hand of the Father.

Well, I must run. It is nearly noon, and I haven't even started breakfast. :o) I'm pretty sure it's going to turn into brunch. We have an exciting evening--we are taking John and Han to see a children's performance of The Nutcracker ballet performed at the Tchaikovsky Theatre. That's something they definitely couldn't do in Florida! I hope that wherever you are in the world, you are taking the time to be thankful for the many good things coming to you from the hand of the Father. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Waiting for rain

Sow with a view to righteousness, reap in accordance with kindness; break up your fallow ground, for it is time to seek the LORD until He comes to rain righteousness on you. Hosea 10:12

Before you think I'm super-spiritual and reading Hosea for fun, I must admit that I found this little gem during my word study this morning (I'm all the way to "break" in my concordance). I don't make new year resolutions, but if I did, I think this would be it--I'm going to sow with a view to righteousness, reap in accordance with kindness, and get rid of all the fallow ground; then I'm going to seek the LORD until He absolutely rains righteousness down on me. I bet that would make for a pretty great new year, no matter what the circumstances, don't you agree?

We've had a pretty wonderful couple of days. We spent New Year's Eve with three other families here in Moscow. There were eleven kids (all the teenagers were missing, or there would have been 16) and eight adults, games to play, politics to discuss, and enough food to kill us all. At midnight, the boys of all ages headed outside to light fireworks, and we went home about 1 a.m. It was really one of the best New Year's I can remember in many, many years. More and more, this is beginning to feel like home. Then Hannah's friend came home with us and spent the night, and she was able to stay until around 3 yesterday afternoon. We just had a great day. We were able to watch College Gameday (our favorite show) when it came on at 5 p.m. our time, and then we watched the Tennessee/Wisconsin game until the Florida/Michigan game came on. Of course, we were disappointed that Florida did not win, but we know that with Timmy Tebow at quarterback, the Gators will be back to fight for a national title next season. (If it ever ends up a Florida/Oklahoma national championship game, WWIII may break out in my house.) While we do not know Timmy personally, we've had the honor of spending some time with a few of his family members, and I can assure you that win or lose a bowl game, Timmy Tebow is a winner.

Sunday morning, Marc got up at 4 a.m., set up one computer to watch the Texas A & M game, and set up another to Skype with his pal Larry, who lives in Prague. They watched the entire game that way, and then he fell back into bed about 8. Isn't the internet a miraculous thing? I can call the States when I want to, I can keep up with the news, I can watch my beloved Gators play football...it's just wonderful. Tomorrow morning, believe it or not, several of our mission friends are coming over at 4 a.m. to watch the Sooners play West Virginia. I can't believe I'm having a football party at 4 a.m., but why not?

Well, I'd better go. Not only do we have a party in the morning here and a language lesson in half an hour, but we also have houseguests this evening--Sarah Beth and her friend, Anna, are returning from MKR today, and Anna's parents are coming in to pick her up and spend the night with us. I can hardly wait to hear how MKR went, and tomorrow I'll tell you where they were, once everyone is home safe and sound. You are going to be really excited for her, I promise. Until then, I hope your favorite teams are winning their bowl games, you don't have any parties planned for 4a.m., and you don't have a language lesson in half an hour! Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye