An open letter to teenage boys

My guy. I love him.

Many a man proclaims his own loyalty, but who can find a trustworthy man? A righteous man who walks in his integrity--how blessed are his sons after him. Proverbs 20:6-7

I have a list of blogs I want to write, and this one has been on the list for a bit. It was pushed up on the list by the appearance this week on facebook of a list of ten things teenage girls should know (or something like that...I'm not sure of the title). And it's not that I disagree with those things at all--I am, after all, the mother of two girls, and I want them to know all the things on that list. But I'm also the mother of a boy, and I know and love many teenage boys who have come into my life as a teacher or here on the field or at my home church, young men I've come to really admire and appreciate. So really, this is an open letter to those guys, the ones I've watched grow up, the ones I've taught, the ones who call me Aunt Kellye. Because I'm convinced that our society is not doing you justice, and I think there are some things you should know. But a warning--if you're not a believer, some of this won't make a lot of sense to you. So with that caveat, here's my list of things you should know.

--Don't buy into the American pop culture view of men. Look at the tv shows that are popular, and what you often see is that the teenage guy (or the man, even) is portrayed as wimpy, stupid or both. You are not any of those things. And someday, God is going to ask you to lead--a business, a mission, a church, a wife and kids--and you cannot do that well if you are those things. So don't buy it.

--Be who you are. Maybe you're into sports. That's great. Maybe you're into music. That's also great. I am the mother of two girls, and I can tell you that being dedicated and committed to something is an attractive quality in their eyes. So whatever it is that interests you (unless, of course, it's something immoral), pursue it with gusto. Girls like that. I swear.

--Be a Christian. A real one. Not a Sunday-you're-at-church-but-on-Monday-nobody-can-tell-a-difference-between-you-and-everyone-else-in-your-school one. That is NOT attractive.

--Only date Christian girls. And only date real Christian girls. Or maybe don't date until you're older and can handle it. Because the Bible is super clear about this area of your life. God clearly says not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. He means in your dating life, too. And if you don't share the same morals and values, if you're not both Jesus lovers, then what happens in your pickup truck on the way home will get out of hand and outside of the boundaries you definitely want to set for yourself. Even if you are both Jesus lovers, it can get outside of the boundaries way too fast. So maybe don't get into pickup trucks with girls. :)

--Find a man you value and admire, and seek him out as a mentor. Maybe it's your dad. Maybe it's not. But I know many incredible men of God who are setting a good example, and you could benefit from their knowledge and encouragement.

--Figure out what you want in a girl...not just to date, but to marry. Someone gave Hannah great love advice last year, and I think it works for everybody. First, he asked what the guy she wanted to marry was like. Christian, heart for missions, kind, loving...you get the idea. He looked her straight in the eye and said, "Then you work on being the girl that guy would fall in love with. Because that guy will show up, and you want to be the person he's looking for, too." The girl you want to marry, who has all the qualities on your list--loving, kind, loves Jesus first--she will show up some day. You want to make sure you've taken the time to be the guy who she wants and who can lead her into the life God has for you both.

--Stop worrying about who you're going to date next. Honestly. Going from one girl to another...not that attractive. Maybe be a little more selective.

--If girls do not show you respect, they are not the girl for you. This is a toughie. There are some beautiful girls out there who have bought into the whole "you're stupid so I must lead you around by the nose" mentality. Sorry. Take a pass on them. Paul clearly commands Christian couples--men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and women are to respect their husbands. You know why he said that? Because for women, love is the most important thing. But for men, it's definitely respect. I've been married 22 years this summer. Trust me on this one. Respect is more important to you than you probably even know yet, but it's going to be a HUGE need in your life.

--Picture yourself in 10 years. What would you love to be doing? What are you called to be doing? What kind of partner makes that life possible? Dream about her. Pray for her diligently. Except for accepting Christ as your savior, I promise you will make no more important decision than who you're going to marry. None. And here was our experience: we'd both prayed for that person, dreamed about them, and when we spent a little time together (about 5 hours, no kidding), we both knew. This was it. I told my parents the next day that I would marry him. I'd looked. I'd dreamed. So had he. When we found each other, we knew it. Your experience might not be quite that quick, but it will help you know when it is time to know.

--Be friends with girls, but really treasure your time with the guys. Being friends with girls will give you an awesome view of the "other side" of things. Hannah and Sarah Beth have enjoyed great, incredible friendships with guys both overseas and in Middleburg. But your time with your guy friends is precious. Some of them will be your friends for life. The Bible tells us how important those friendships are. "Iron sharpens iron," and "A cord of three strands is not easily broken." I realize we usually apply that last verse to marriage, but it's true of friendships, too. The Christian guys you surround yourself with...they are being used by God to form you into His man. And when hard times come--heartbreak, trouble, divorcing parents, whatever--they will be there. Even as adults, you are going to need Christian guy friends. Trust me. I see often in Marc's life how important those three or four relationships in his life are to his ability to be God's guy. You need your guys to be His man.

--God has a purpose for you. He has good plans for your life. We tell girls all the time that they are priceless treasures of God, daughters of the King of kings. But sometimes we forget to tell you. You are priceless to Him, treasures of His heart. You are a son of the King. Never, ever forget. Whatever plan He has for your life, it is borne out of His great love for you. Maybe you won't be a professional basketball player. Maybe you won't be rich. But I can promise you from our experience that nothing in life, no comfort, no amount of money, is better than being exactly who God created you to be. And to settle into that person, that man of God...well, it will make your wife very happy some day. I promise.

I love having the chance to watch people grow up. I'm thinking, of course, of those nephews here on the field who have gone on to marry and have children and pursue ministry, certainly, but I'm also thinking of those boys in our church who we've known....goodness...seemingly forever. What a joy it is to see them pursue Godliness. What a pleasure to watch as they are shaped and molded into the next generation of leaders. It's an incredible honor to watch, even from across the world. It's an even greater honor to pray diligently for those young men we know and love as they become exactly the man God created them to be. Wherever you are in the world, I challenge you to find one young man at your church to really encourage, and I pray that your beloved is headed home to you, too. Blessings to you and yours!!

His,
Kellye

I'm being followed by a couple of dogs

Since this blog is about a couple of dogs, I thought it only appropriate to remind you how cute my cats are. This is Tasha. She's a snuggler, constantly burrowing under blankets. We love our kittens so much!!

Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Psalm 23:6

I almost never write at night, because Marc is a "quality time" love language guy, and he wants to do stuff together, and since we can't write together, that doesn't work for him. Plus, because I'm such an early bird, by this time of night my brain is FRIED. Especially on nights like this, when I'm single parenting because Marc is half a world away. (Just for some perspective, Marc is further away from me than I am from you. Think on it a while.) Add a German test into the mix, and the fact that I'm not just sitting here drooling is nearly miraculous.

John has to memorize Psalm 23 for class. (By the way--if your kid isn't memorizing stuff in elementary school, you need to make sure you're doing it at home. It's an important, foundational brain skill. If you want to know more, shoot me an email and I'll explain.) So he's been practicing it all over the house. And every time I hear him working on it, I smile when he comes across the last verse. Now, the version above has it "goodness and lovingkindness," but in my brain, it's always goodness and mercy. I love the old song...surely goodness and mercy will follow me/all the days/all the days of my li-i-ife. :) And it takes me back several years--maybe a year and half before we went to Russia--so about 7 years ago, when our pastor preached a sermon series on Psalm 23. And when he got to this verse, he talked about goodness and mercy as two sheepdogs, following us around. And for whatever reason, the image stuck. I cannot hear/read/sing the 23rd Psalm without picturing two sheepdogs named Goodness and Mercy following me around.

Lately, I'm struck by just a sense of sheer contentedness. No, not everything here is perfect. Yes, we still have problems and conflicts and all that other stuff. Yes, language number 3 might just make my head explode. (Not really--it's a very learnable language...much easier than Russian.) But certainly, there's only so much room left in my brain for language, and it's getting a bit crowded. And I miss Sarah Beth and my parents and my sisters and my church...you get the idea. In other words, it's not like Moscow was terrible and Vienna is perfect, and that's why I'm content.

I'm content because God has stretched me into a contented person. My months of unhappiness in Moscow before I could settle in and be happy weren't because Goodness and Mercy had somehow lost their way. It was more that I just lost sight of them. (Maybe they are white, and I just couldn't find them in the snow!!) Have you ever been in a situation that so pulled you apart that you couldn't find yourself? That was me. I could not find me. Ask my parents--they could hear it in my voice. Many, many times they got off the phone and prayed for me. Ask them. It was rough. But I'm convinced that in every situation there is something good, something you can look at and say, "OH! There are Goodness and Mercy! Whew. I thought I'd lost them." But you have to choose to look for them.

I'm so grateful to be here. With the economic downturn and some hard financial times for our organization, I'm going to be honest--I'm really grateful. It means something to me to be here. Our life in America is good and sweet and I could be happy there, too. So it's not like there is bad and here is good. Nope. But when I choose wisely to look around at the positive things around me, I'm overwhelmed by His goodness and mercy. Great friendships. A lovely apartment. People we adore literally around the corner. A neighborhood we love. A language we are kind of getting. Neighbors who are friendly. Austrian friends. A great church. A great school. An organization that loves and takes care of my kids. Colleagues we love all over the world. Encouragement from all over the world. A husband who absolutely loves his job. Blessings all mine with ten thousand times ten thousand besides.

Remember the old, old song "To God be the Glory"? I think my sisters had a record of Kris Kristofferson singing it for some reason. For all I am/And ever hope to be/ I owe it all to Thee. When I look around, I see gifts. Everywhere, I'm surrounded by gifts from the giver of all good things, and His lapdogs, Goodness and Mercy. Anything I am, anything I will become...it's all a gift from Him. My children, my marriage, my whole life...all a gift from Him. And when I mess up--as I inevitably do, sometimes on a minute-by-minute basis--Mercy comes bounding down the street, overwhelming me with love and kindness that I don't deserve, but which I freely receive. If that is not good news, my friends, I honestly don't know what is.

Maybe you need to hear this. Maybe your situation is pretty terrible at the moment. Maybe there are some truly horrible things going on in your life. Can I encourage you for just a moment? Look around you. Really, really look. Because I am nobody special, and God does not love me better than you, so I know for 100% sure that somewhere, even in the darkness, there are signs of Goodness and Mercy at work. Maybe you're in a cancer ward. What about the kindness of your nurse? Maybe your marriage is in trouble. What about that sweet friend who is willing to listen? Maybe your child has turned into the prodigal son. What about the sweet lady at church who prays for you? Does it make everything instantly ok? No. But it gives a real perspective. Yes, this thing is terrible. This moment is awful. But I am not alone. Even in the darkest night, Goodness and Mercy are right by my side. And that, my friends, that is real comfort.

Well, I think that's all my brain can do tonight. :) So many of you have sent us sweet notes of encouragement while Marc is traveling...your kindness is just another gift from Him. Marc really loves his job so much. And just like he loved listening to me talk about teaching, I love listening to him be happy in his work. The travel is a bit rough, I'll admit, but if any of you have been married to a man unhappy in his work, you will know that it's worth it to me for him to be so, so happy. He did eat pony and frozen raw fish yesterday. He doesn't really love that part of his job. :) But I made buffalo chicken pizza tonight, and he wouldn't have liked that, either, so I guess it's no big deal. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that even in your darkest night, you can hear Goodness and Mercy sitting at your feet, and that tomorrow is your last day of language school until the fall, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Learning German

Some of my former students started their Spring Break tour of Europe in Wien. What a treat to see them!

Beautiful flowers are everywhere in Wien. I ordered these from a flower market auf Deutsch, so I think they are particularly beautiful. :)

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

I hardly every write in the middle of the week, because language school is eating my time pretty much completely. I am about finished with this round--I will take a break until September--and I'm both excited for a break and a bit sad. Some of the sadness, of course, has to do with the fact that I go every day to school with a friend, and that's fun. We talk and laugh and tell stories about our kids and just generally have a good time. I'm going to miss doing that every day. (Though she lives right around the corner, so it's not like we won't see each other.) But some of it is because I am really enjoying learning German. Okay, maybe enjoying isn't exactly the right word. I appreciate the opportunity to learn German. How's that?

I've told you before that when we found out the team was being moved to Vienna, my first thought was, "Oh, no!! Not another language!!" I'm middle aged (I'm a young middle aged, thank you), and I was just not sure I could stuff one more language in there with the English and Russian that are already roaming around in my noggin. But given time, I came to see this as a kind of do-over, a chance to do something right the second time that I didn't do all that well the first time. And I've talked about that, too--being hesitant to speak Russian, never wanting to make a mistake, being far too timid for my own good--all of these stunted my ability to speak and understand Russian. (I've come to know that I can read and write language far more easily than I can speak and understand them.) And that is a dreadful weight when you live in a place where people don't/won't speak English. I was always nervous, always embarrassed that my Russian wasn't anywhere near Marc's, always afraid that something would happen that I couldn't handle because I couldn't understand what was being said to me. So when it came time to move to Austria, I was one determined girl. I WOULD speak German well.

Over time, though, I came to understand that my motivation for wanting to speak German well was a little off. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it well. I wanted to prove that I could learn a language and operate in it without worry. But, of course, Vienna is a very different place than Moscow. Many, many (most?) people here speak a little English, at least. I really could survive and even do well here without going past the level of German that is required for my visa. But as I prayed to put down roots and plant myself in this place, as I fell in love with Austria and Austrians just a little bit more every day, my motivation took a turn. I don't think I have to prove anything to anyone anymore. I want to do well, to really know German, because I desperately want to make relationships with the people around me. I prayed to love this city, to love these people, to see them as God sees them, and because He is so faithful, He answered those prayers quickly. I do love this city. I do love my neighborhood. I do love my new country. And I will speak their heart language.

That takes a lot of pressure off of me and allows me to learn and enjoy the learning. It is a truly fun and wonderful thing to suddenly look at something you haven't understood and understand it. We have sweet team members who speak great German, and they are so kind to look things over and see if we've understood this or that notice or bill. But when they did that yesterday, we had understood what it said correctly. Can you imagine the joy of that?! As we seek to plant our lives here, nothing is more important than learning the language and just daily putting ourselves in the same places again and again in order to make relationships.

And so, I'm looking forward to a language break, but I'm also not looking forward to it. I am excited to grow in my ability to talk to people every day. I'm excited to reach out and make relationships with the people around me in the language of their hearts. And it really, really helps in the grocery store. :) Wherever you are in the world, I pray that your roots are planted deeply in a place you love, and that you are looking forward to seeing some folks you really like tonight, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Home sweet home

Marc doing his best Hamlet impression. Yeah.

Marc and the kids at the restoration of the Globe Theatre. Really, really a fun tour. If you're in London, I highly recommend it.

The kids riding the double decker bus in London. They had fun just riding around. That's pretty cheap entertainment!

We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord's dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful. James 5:11

It's been a while! In fact, it's been a couple of weeks, which is pretty rare for me overseas. In America, I just don't have as much that's interesting to talk about, but I rarely go this long overseas. We were in London for John's birthday (and a visa trip) last weekend, and of course, the rigors of language school pretty much keep me busy during the week. I woke up early (what? you're kidding!), so I'm pretty much done with my morning routine, even though it's only 7 a.m. Oh, well...some day I'll sleep, right? Right?!?!?!

As someone who has done this overseas thing before, there are signs that I know to look for--both signs of something going wrong and of something going right. I am attuned to my kids (Marc is actually pretty happy anywhere), and I've been watching carefully to see how they're doing. Let's face it--if my kids are okay, I'm okay, and if I'm okay, then everybody in the house is okay. :) You know it's true!! So I keep an eye on the kids to see how they're doing in the midst of our transition to Austria.

And so, as a person watching for those signs, you can imagine my delight with a discussion we had on the train going from Horsham back into London last weekend. It was right after we'd had a great visit with some friends, and we were all remarking on how much fun we'd had just visiting and eating together. We were headed back to Vienna the next morning, and we were talking about being ready to get back to normal life. "Vacation is fun," Hannah said, "but I'm ready to be home in Vienna." John agreed. So did Marc. So did I. And for the first time since we've been overseas, all of us called the same city 'home.'

We have lived in some places we have loved. Beautiful cities full of people we adore. But never before have our hearts been in the same place. There is a settledness to calling a place home, a contentedness. It doesn't mean we're happy all the time. It doesn't mean that everything here is perfect. (If you find that place, let me know.) It doesn't mean we don't desperately miss Sarah Beth. (Today is the first birthday of her life that I haven't spent with her. Yep. That's a toughy for this Momma.) But it means that we aren't wondering about what's next. This life is transitory at best. People are going and coming in and out of our lives all the time. There is no way to predict where we will be in 5 years or 10 years. But at this moment, for this season, we are all here in Vienna. And it's a huge blessing. Huge. And it's made sweeter by the hard times, by the times when one person's heart was in Moscow and another's was in Middleburg, when one person loved Prague, and another longed for Moscow. Home...it's a sweet word.

Hear my heart when I say this--not loving the place you are isn't a tragedy. Don't walk away thinking that I've said the worst problem on earth is not feeling at home. There are real problems in the world...people we love with heartbreaking illnesses, marriages dying, wars and rumors of wars, friends in combat...those are real problems. And we sometimes come across real problems in our own lives. It's good to have perspective and know what is a problem and what isn't. But as I grow in my Christian life, as I learn to see things differently, I am convicted of the need to be grateful. Grateful that we get to live this incredible life, even when I miss my girl on her birthday. Grateful for a lovely city and a language that is learnable, even when I don't completely understand how to do my homework. Grateful for friends all around the world, even when I might be feeling a little lonely. Grateful for sunshine streaming through my apartment windows, grateful for public transportation, grateful for people God has given me to love. Grateful. Grateful. Grateful.

I haven't always been grateful. I spent much of my first term focused on what was difficult. On what seemed unfair to me. On how hard this life is. But I also spent much of my first term being stretched and pulled into a completely different person by the God whose love compels me to this life in the first place. For a long time, I was thankful because I knew I was supposed to be. It was a rule, and I'm a rule-follower. :) But now, in this season of my life, the gratefulness, the absolute thankfulness for the life I am allowed to live...it is unavoidable. I don't have to be thankful because the Bible says so (and that's not a bad reason, by the way), but because I can't help but be grateful for the blessings of this life. And one of those blessings that is most pleasurable to me at this moment is to have a place that is home. It's sweet. I don't mind telling you. It's really, really sweet.

Well, the sunshine is beckoning, and I am heading out for a walk along the river in a few minutes. Honestly, it's just beautiful outside. Wherever you are in the world, I pray you are choosing gratefulness, and that you are going to skype with a birthday girl later today, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Be nice or shut up

The church in our neighborhood. I think this is the first picture we have of it during the day.

The view on my morning walk. Is it any wonder we really love our neighborhood?

They will know we are Christians by our love, by our love...

It's been a pretty interesting week in the Hooks household. Marc and I finished our first month of language school. That was pretty great. We both were successful in our efforts to learn Deutsch, and that was great. Some very encouraging ministry opportunities presented themselves this week, and that was great. Lots of good stuff this week, for sure.

When we found out we were coming to Vienna (i.e.--we had to learn another language), we were a little nervous. After all, Marc and I are middle aged, and stuffing on more language into a brain full of Russian was pretty daunting. So we knew this month would be hard--and we were right. It's hard to learn a new language, no matter how many languages are already floating around in your brain. It was lots of studying, praying, practicing, labeling stuff in the apartment, and reviewing flashcards. (Thank you, Lord, for flashcards.) And with God's help, we did it. It was also very nice for us that so many people were so encouraging to us. Little notes on facebook, prayers for tests...just sweet reminders during a difficult season that we are loved, remembered, and held up by people at home in the U.S. and all over the world. It was nice.

I love Facebook. I really do. I know people who think it's beneath them, and that's fine. But for me, Facebook is a way to keep up with people I only see every four years, to touch base with former students as they go into the world and make lives, to catch up with old friends and know how to pray for them. (It's also a great way to keep track of birthdays!) Facebook allows me a daily presence in Sarah Beth's life, and it helps me know her friends, even though we're far from each other. It gives me a chance to interact daily with my parents and sisters and nieces and nephews, to keep up with the important stuff that we're missing because we're so far away. It takes a little of the sting out of homesickness, which is a struggle for us right now. It can be a force for great good, a chance to exhibit some really Godly qualities, to encourage people, to love people.

But it can also be a place for people to be pills. You know what I'm talking about. The people who feel like we must know their every political belief. The people who argue. The people who put stuff out in the Facebook universe and then are really nasty about anybody who disagrees with them. (I would not be much of a disagreer. People like that make me tired.) I'm going to be honest--I've done some cleaning of the old friends list this past week. Generally speaking, if you aren't an encouragement to me and mine, if you are constantly ugly and political, I've unsubscribed from you. Because our lives are hard enough without that. Isn't everybody's life hard enough, no matter where you are, no matter what you're doing? (If not, could you give me a call and help me figure out your secret?!?!)


Here's the thing I try to remember as I post stuff on Facebook or on this blog--the world is watching us. You may think that political nastiness is just great conversation, great debate, but the truth is that you don't look any different from the world around you. And if we as Christians are not kind to one another, tearing one another down, lambasting each other over our differences while ignoring the great LOVE that is the center of our lives...why would the world want any part of us or our Jesus? My life overseas is hard, it takes work--but I am overwhelmed daily by the love of my Savior. By the relationships He allows into my life as an encouragement and a kindness to me in times of struggle and times when things are great. I am literally surrounded by people I love. I have tremendous parents and sisters, great friends, an incredible church I adore, and a life filled with the great people I've been allowed to call my students. My children love each other and Jesus. My husband treats me like a queen, even when I really don't deserve it. He is my very best friend, the person who makes me laugh the most, and my biggest cheerleader. All of these, my friends, every single one is a gift from the Giver of all good things. In the face of such lovingkindness and grace and mercy...what is there to do but encourage one another? To spur one another on to run the race with dignity, with humility, to finish strong? And if that's not what you're doing...why?

Here's my challenge to you if you're on Facebook or in any situation where you are interacting with others publicly: be nice. Encourage your Christian brothers and sisters. Be kind. Realize that just because it comes into your brain doesn't mean it has to come out of your mouth. Consider others more important than yourself. Love people. Seek with every word and deed, even on Facebook, to be as much like Jesus as you can. Because the world is watching, my friends. They're watching us, and they're watching how we deal with one another. The Bible says that if we claim to know Him but don't have love, we're liars. I don't know about you, but I really don't want to stand before the throne of the Most High God as a liar. Instead, I want to overflow with the love that He has so graciously poured into my life. I want to love like He loves. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are loving and encouraging the people in your life, and that you are ready for your son's birthday party this afternoon, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Picking up our cross and hauling it around

Try not to notice the messy desk. In the midst of language school, I have five million notecards and dictionaries in various spots on my desk. This is a small sculpture that Sarah Beth brought back from Uganda. It sits near my desk.

Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." Matthew 16:24-25

It's definitely Sunday morning--at nearly 8am, I'm the only one up in the apartment. Well, the cats are up, but they don't count. Mostly, they get up whenever I do and look pitiful until I feed them. :) Poor Marc has a terrible, nasty cold, and he ended up on the couch at some point in the evening, probably trying to keep himself semi-upright in order to quit coughing. Poor guy. Han and John are still snoozing away in their rooms--surprising for John, because he doesn't sleep with his shade pulled, and there is actually sunshine on that side of the apartment this morning.

I've been making my way through Matthew for quite some time. While Psalms is my book for the year, I'm also studying the gospels, beginning with Matthew. I'm a slow studier, pretty methodical in my system, and it takes quite a while to get through a book, including reading it through several times. I'm currently on my fifth reading of Matthew for this particular study. Every time I've been through it, this set of verses has caught my attention.

I think this aspect of Christianity--taking up the cross and following Jesus--is a difficult one, particularly for Americans. Self-sacrifice is not in our nature as people, is it? For example, I don't want my children to give up anything. I want them to have all the American things in life, plus be happy living in Europe. I want them to experience everything and always be happy. Don't you? Isn't that in our nature as parents? as people? But that's not what's in these verses. What is wrapped up in the middle of these verses is the idea of giving things up. Sometimes those things are actual things. Sometimes they're dreams or goals. Sometimes--and these are the hardest times--they are people and relationships.

It's been a rough couple of weeks for Hannah. Every negative thing in her life seems to be piling up at once. And this life as an MK is not an easy one. As she told me in the last couple of days, she wouldn't give it up for anything, but it's hard. Hard to say goodbye to grandparents and aunts and uncles in America. Hard to develop relationships here. Hard to balance school and "real life." Hard to forgive adults who promised to stay in contact but haven't. Hard to learn a new language and understand a new culture. Hard, hard, hard. But the tipping point for her, the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back this week--hard to be away from her sister.

If our family had to choose the thing we like least about our life overseas, it would be the distance between us and Sarah Beth. Easily. No question. And yes, she's in Arkansas and we live in Florida when we're there, and she's away from us. But that is not the same as being on a completely different continent. Not the same as having to figure out what time it is where she is in order not to call too early. Not the same as having an entire relationship via email and skype. Not the same, not the same, not the same. And we are blessed beyond measure to be that sweet family in the sculpture--arms around one another, closely tied together. We are not distant. We are not aloof. We are family in the absolute truest sense of the word. And I'm grateful for that, because I know that's not a given. I've seen the kind of families that speak once every two months--or sometimes not at all. Marc and I determined long ago what kind of family we wanted to be, and we've clung to that picture through good times and bad. And we've been blessed by years of happiness and laughter and phase 10 playing and general goofiness. And listen--we still have those things. I often wonder if our neighbors think we're crazy because they can hear us laughing through the dining room wall. But there is always someone missing.

It is, of course, the way it's supposed to be. We love our kids and train them to go into the world on their own. That's life. And we're very proud of the life Sarah Beth is making for herself, full of great relationships, a church she adores, and a career path that makes her passionate. We heartily approve of the direction her life is taking. But we miss her. It's part of the cross that we are being asked to take up during this season. And while we don't want to be away from her, we look at the incredible love God has showered on us as a family, and we pick up that cross and follow. Because in the face of His love and sacrifice for us, how could we do less?

Missing Sarah Beth is not the only cross we're picking up and hauling around Vienna right now. Certainly language school is a cross we're picking up. (Though I am really enjoying learning German...don't tell anyone, because it makes me sound kind of nerdy. Hey! Don't snicker!!) Figuring out new relationships, a new culture, and how to function in Austria are also things we're picking up here. Missing people, feeling forgotten sometimes...you get the idea. But here is the great news: we're not alone! If you're a real follower of Christ, there is something you're putting down to pick up your cross and follow Him. It's the way of this life. And the rewards of following Him--overwhelming love, joy, peace, contentment--far, far outweigh any burden He's asked us to take on in His name. And because we've been down this road before, we know that life settles down, the new place becomes home, relationships develop, ministry happens...and suddenly, you can't imagine being anywhere else, living any other life.

I don't know what your cross looks like. In my experience, the cross looks different for every believer. But I do know this--whatever you're being asked to abandon in order to pick it up, it's 100% worth it to follow Him. As much as we miss Sarah Beth, it's not a reason to leave this life we're called to. As rough as the last couple of weeks have been for Hannah, it's not a reason to leave this life we're called to. Sometimes what He calls us to do is just hang on, white-knuckle it until things get better. And in our experience, they do get better. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are enjoying a season of better, and that your church doesn't start until 4, so you have a lovely day of leisure ahead. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

I don't have to be happy, but it sure is nice.

I cannot help it: I just love this kitten. Natasha rules the apartment with her cuteness.

Seeing the people, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and dispirited like sheep without a shepherd. Matthew 9:36

I don't know about your house, but the Hooks household has been very, very busy lately. Language school, regular school, musical practice, and just every day living have filled up our time lately. Add in a little sickness in the last week and a trip to the American consulate to renew passports and you've got a VERY busy family. It's not a bad kind of busy, but it is a very busy kind of busy at the moment. And I'm guessing that while I'm still in language school, it will remain that way. I'm not complaining, though. We actually like busy, at least most of the time. We can get grouchy if we don't have anything to do. :)

Vienna is a very busy city--except on Sundays. EVERYTHING is closed on Sundays. Our neighborhood tends to be very quiet, anyway, and on Sundays, it's nearly silent. Now, when it's warmer, I think there will be more hustle and bustle on Sundays, not because anything will be open, but because we live between the Old Danube and the New Danube, and there is a really wonderful "river life" when it's warm. Lots of people, kids playing, pick up soccer and basketball games, and just strolling along the river can be seen at almost any given moment when it's warmer. But right now, when it's still pretty cool outside, it's nice and quiet on Sundays.

As I gauge how we're doing, where we are in our transition into a new city, a new country, and a new language, it's really the little comments that are signposts to me, rather than the big, "how are we doing" discussions. It's the offhand remark, the one that comes from the subconscious before we really think about it, that tells me where we are. And I'm going to be honest--where we are is a pretty good place. Yes, there are still things that we don't fully "get" about Austrian life, and our language learning is hard and takes a lot of our time, but all in all, I think we're where we should be in terms of transition. We have a church, the kids are settled in school, we're learning the language, we are making Austrian friends, we're figuring out the food (that's more important than you might think)...all in all, we're doing pretty well. I hear it in our conversations, when comments are made that include long-term plans for Austria. You know, things like, "In a few years, we'll..." It doesn't really matter what follows that ellipses, because the important part of that is the "few years" part. As a family, we have been in limbo for a long time, and it's been really difficult. But more and more, I hear us all feeling settled. And what's really nice is that includes Sarah Beth, who is really making a life for herself back in the States. It's nice. It's a good feeling to be happy, and I'm really grateful for it.

But here's the thing: happiness is not a requirement of this Christian life. There have been times overseas that we were dreadfully unhappy. Ask my parents and sisters about conversations that they had with us over the years where they hung up the phone and immediately started praying. But just because we were unhappy did not mean we were out of God's will or His plan for our lives. When I look back on those times of unhappiness, I know for certain that they were times in which God showed Himself to us in amazing ways, times in which we grew as followers of Christ by leaps and bounds. I'm not the same person I was five years ago. There is no way to be that person. I have seen too much and experienced too much. I have watched my family struggle. I have struggled. And I'm grateful for the struggle and the unhappiness just as much as I'm thankful for this moment of real happiness for us. I know that both--the good times and the bad--are gifts from the Giver of all good things.

So why focus on unhappiness during this time when it isn't much a part of our lives? Because I know from experience that the life of a believer is filled with both good times and bad, seasons of happiness and seasons of unhappiness. And it's good to make a checkpoint, to look over our stones of remembrance in the good times and bad, because it's a good reminder that our God is faithful in all times. And that faithfulness, His compassion and lovingkindness and mercy toward us--that's what really matters. Not my happiness or unhappiness. It turns out that even this is all about Him. And we make a terrible mistake when we think that if we are unhappy, it's because God is not pleased with us for some reason, that we've stepped outside His plan for us. Of course, there are times when that's true, when we've made an error, sinned against Him in some way, and unhappiness is the consequence of that. But our God is so good that even in these circumstances, He can use it for our good. I'm so grateful, aren't you?

Well, time to get moving here in the Hooks household. We are trying to manage our mornings calmly, now that I have to leave pretty quickly after the kids in order to get to German class on time. On a side note to those of you in our hometown of Middleburg, Florida--we are praying from Austria for all of you as you celebrate the life of the detective killed on Thursday. We are proud of the compassion shown by our home church as they host the funeral this morning, and we are--as always--proud to be from Clay County. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are experiencing a season of happiness, too, and that you are NOT struggling with how to say north, south, east and west in whatever language you speak. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye