Waiting here for You

Tasha's new 'throne'--the more blankets you pile here, the better she likes it. I'm pretty sure I'm getting close to being a crazy cat lady. Oh, well.

Sometimes our prayers for deliverance from some particular strait are accompanied by faith to the extent we can foresee some predictable means of deliverance. But God is not dependent upon means that we can foresee. In fact, it seems from experience that God delights to surprise us by His ways of deliverance to remind us that our trust must be in Him and Him alone. --Jerry Bridges, Trusting God

I hate waiting. Maybe you are good at it. I am, most definitely, not. I hate everything about waiting. I like checklists and to-do lists, projects to complete, things to DO. Waiting is none of those things. Waiting is...well, it's just waiting. And I am definitely, without-a-doubt, no-question-about-it in a period of waiting in my life. It stinks. It really does.

What am I waiting for, you might be wondering? Direction. Answers. Solutions to problems that seem impossible to solve. An answer to the question, "So what do you DO in Vienna?" that isn't, "I cook meals and mop the floor a lot."  Waiting for all of that. Did I mention I hate waiting? :) I would love to teach. I have a teacher's heart and not a student in sight. Today is the first day of school in Clay County, Florida, where I have spent most of my teaching career. I would love nothing more than to be sitting in Middleburg, wide awake because I'm too excited to sleep, just like I've done pretty much every year for the last twenty. I would love to teach here. I can't. It's a visa issue that appears unsolvable. I would love to volunteer in an Austrian school. Unfortunately, I have no contacts and not enough German to just walk in and volunteer myself. (Come to think of it, I don't even know how to say 'volunteer' auf Deutsch.) For the first time in my life overseas, my years of teaching English do not seem to be particularly valuable. That could change, of course. I could make some contact in a school that would let me volunteer. I could learn the German word for 'volunteer.' (Yes, I will look it up when I'm done writing!) So hear me when I say that I don't think this is an unsolvable problem or that my lack of a use for twenty years of teaching experience is a permanent issue. I don't think that. But for this season, I am--for the first time in my adult life--not a teacher of anyone in any capacity. And that's hard. Really, really hard for me.

There are other things too personal to share here that I'm waiting for...answers that don't seem to be in the offing at the moment. Problems that just look like too much for me to see a logical solution to them. (Do you hear the music swelling? Because I'm about to resolve the minor chord, as it were.) But isn't that the tremendous thing about our God? He is not reliant on my logic. (Praise the LORD!) He is not reliant on anything but Himself. And...here's the hard part...He has a plan and a purpose even in the waiting. OUCH! I want things fixed. Yesterday. Quickly. I want answers and solutions and a way to see the sun shining amidst the clouds. But at this moment, for this season, that is not what He has for me or for us. What He has for us is Himself. What He has for us is learning to rely on Him and Him alone. In this season of waiting, when answers seem pretty few and far between, there is sweetness and comfort that His promises are true, that He does not waste anything in our lives, and best of all...that His plan is for our good and His glory. Amen and amen.

So what do I do while I wait? Learn German. Work at relationships. Love my kids and husband through a difficult time. And yes, right now, I make meals and mop the floor a lot. I live my life in the most obedient way I know how, I pray a lot, I read my Bible, I journal, I complete the couple of projects I have in front of me, I volunteer a bit at the kids' school...and I wait. I would like to say that I wait patiently, but I'm contractually obligated not to lie. :) But I do know from experience that on the other side of this season, I will likely be able to see some purpose in this. Maybe not the full plan, because in my experience, I rarely get a big picture glimpse of what God's doing--but maybe a brief glimpse of this tiny corner of the plan. But even if I don't get that--even if this season never makes a bit of sense to me or to us, even if we don't see a single good thing come out of it--I choose to trust Him. I learned a long time ago that His ways were not mine, nor were His thoughts my thoughts. You can rest comfortably in the knowledge that the King of the Universe does not need me to solve things for Him, nor does He consult me about the best way to operate. I trust Him, because I know Him. And I know that He is good beyond measure, that His love for me and mine (and you and yours!) reaches to the heavens, that His faithfulness stretches to the skies. I have, indeed, tasted and seen that the Lord is good. He is trustworthy. In a season when I don't know a lot, I know that for sure and for certain. He is trustworthy.

Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are in a season full of easy answers and sunshiney days, and that you get to spend time with Hannah Jane Hooks today. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Love God. Love people.

After 22 years of marriage, I love him better than I did on that hot day in St. Charles, Mo, when I married him. That's saying something--because I really loved him a lot then!

To love God, love people--that's the center of the mark. --"Center of the Mark" by 4Him

That is a REALLY old song reference, but it's one I really love. There's truth there, I think. Keep the main thing the main thing, as a colleague likes to say. Love God. Love people. The other stuff works itself out. It's been an interesting thing to live across an ocean from the States and watch Facebook in this season of campaigns, politics, and heated debate about chicken. Oh, I know, I know...it's not really a debate about chicken, because nobody is denying that the chicken is delicious. (I was discussing this with some MKs who were staying with us this past week, and Hannah blurted out, "Why can't the delicious chicken unite us?" If these weren't my real teeth, I'd have dropped them on the floor from laughing so hard. She is a funny chickadee.) The debate, the reaction to opinions of a private citizen who simply responded to a question...it's puzzling to the rest of the world. One Russian friend called the U.S. a 'kindergarten country,' where people throw tantrums because others don't agree with them. OUCH. And I understand the issues surrounding the issue, I really do. I get the idea of a culture war, of traditions, of definitions that make one side comfortable and the other enraged. I get it. I really do.  And I'm not saying these aren't important issues. But they aren't the most important issue, right? 

I've been thinking about what God really wants from me a lot lately. Not from us as Christians, but from me, Kellye Michelle Hooks, individually and specifically. I've been studying, praying, reading my Bible even more than usual...and really, really listening. And I have to be honest with you--what I hear from God does not have a single thing to do with politics, sides, culture wars or any of the other things that eat our lives as American Christians. I have come to the conclusion that when I meet my Savior face to face, He is not going to chastise me for not talking enough about politics. He's not going to judge me over my lack of facebook posts about politics, political candidates, or whatever the day's hot-button issue might be. But I'm pretty sure I disappoint Him when I fail to love the folks He has graciously placed in my life. Whether that means Marc and the kids, my parents and extended family, my friends and colleagues, or the beggar who sits at our Ubahn station every day, I'm pretty sure that is where I am definitely not going to measure up in His eyes. And so lately, my daily prayer is for brokenness. A heart like His. COMPASSION like His. Do you know how many times in the Gospels it says that Jesus had compassion for the people? A bunch. You know why? Because He loves people. And I want to love people like He loves people.

Should we speak the truth in love? Absolutely. But here's the thing about that--when I'm doing that, I had better be on my knees beforehand about my own sins. Today's hot topic isn't something I personally struggle with, but I struggle with a negative, critical spirit. I struggle with weight issues because I eat emotionally (because evidently Jesus isn't enough comfort for me in hard times) and because I don't like to exercise (even though the Bible clearly says my body is His temple). I'm going to be brutally honest and vulnerable here--the more I know Jesus, the more I am convinced of the vastness of my sin. Mine. Not yours. Not that group that doesn't agree with me. Mine. Kellye's. And the more I understand the magnitude of my own sin, the more Jesus gives me compassion for others' struggles and a heart to love people. I do not naturally love people on my own. I can be mean and vitriolic and bitter when left to my own devices. But every morning without fail, the Savior of the whole world meets me at my desk and pursues my rotten heart. Every morning He grants me new mercies. He is faithful and true and full of lovingkindness to me and mine, and He enables me to love out of the overflow of His absolute goodness to me. I DO stand amazed in the presence of Jesus, the Nazarene, and wonder how He could love me, a sinner condemned, unclean. But oh--how marvelous is Jesus' love for me and for you and for the whole world.

Whatever your viewpoint--and I'm so thankful for friends and former colleagues and former students whose viewpoints differ greatly from mine, but who still love me--I want you to know that Jesus loves you. He died for you. I'm so thankful for the chance to love all kinds of different people. Whether you eat chicken on Wednesday or Friday or are a vegan and don't touch the stuff, Jesus loves you. He absolutely does. He told me so this morning. :) My challenge to all my friends is to get to know the real Jesus. His goodness, mercy, love and compassion are yours for the claiming. He died for you out of love, just like He died for me. And that, my friends, is good news no matter what you eat. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you know the great love of the One who died for you, and that your husband is coming home from the Olympics for your birthday, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Encouragement is the theme of the day

The beautiful view from our terrace in Greece...imagine birds chirping to get the full impact.

The Temple of Poseidon at Sounion, Greece

John in front of the Temple of Poseidon--his favorite mythological figure!

This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:21-23

Well, my friends, I had to get up at 4am to see Marc off to London, so I have a few minutes to spare this morning, and I thought I'd fill you in on our trip to Greece. We went for our Annual General Meeting, where all the people who work for our company in Europe or with European peoples elsewhere come together. Now, we have AGMs that are smaller--one cluster, two, or even three might meet together, but the big meetings, where it's everybody, don't happen very often. So we were really looking forward to it. We were looking forward to time with friends, to great preaching, to time with friends...you get the idea. And it was just as great as we'd hoped it would be. We left feeling encouraged in our devotion to Christ and to our city. We were renewed as we head into our second year in Vienna. We were also able to spend some time making contacts for Engage Sochi, the initiative that we co-direct with our partners in Sochi. In fact, Marc is going to do some work while he's in London on a piece that points the way toward Sochi in 2014. More on that as we get closer. Suffice to say, we are so excited to part of something that combines our love for the nations with a passion for Sochi. Super, super exciting stuff.

One of my favorite aspects of AGM is the stuff our kids get to do. Hannah had time with her friends from all over Europe, and it was HUGE for her. If you watch her facebook, you'll have a front-row seat for the love these kids have for one another. It is a big encouragement to this Momma's heart to watch her friends love her and lift her up. The move to Vienna has been a tremendously difficult one for Han. She has held up beautifully, but she's only 15. It's a really gorgeous thing to watch her beloved friends (and overseas 'aunts' and 'uncles') hold up her arms when she is tired. She came back to Vienna with a renewed sense of being where God has her for this season. John, too, had a wonderful time with his friends. In fact, even though he stayed in our room, we basically did not see him. He and his friends ran in a pack together, swam together, ate meals together and attended classes together. He loved the freedom of being one of the 'big kids.' (Volunteers from the States come and put on VBS for our kids, so John had the same VBS experience your kids did if you are in a SBC church in the States.) There was a lot of pushing each other in the pool, sunburn, signing each other's shirts, and just general goofiness. He came back encouraged and ready for a new school year.

Of course, you always want to walk away from this kind of big event with a theme or a lesson learned or just something you can hang your hat on and point to as the thing to come out of the time and money spent to put on the event in the first place. If I had to sum it up in one word, it would definitely be encouragement. And not just hey-you're-great-and-things-are-wonderful encouragement. Encouragement to be humble in the face of God's grace. Encouragement to run the race set out before us, even when (or maybe especially when) it is a difficult season. Encouragement to really love people. Encouragement to dig into language and culture and relationships. Encouragement to forgive. And maybe most importantly, encouragement that God is at work. Here in Vienna. Around Europe. All over the world. Europe can be a really discouraging place to work and invest. It's beautiful, the people are lovely, there is a lot of cool stuff to do and see. But Europe is less than 1% evangelized. And unlike places on earth where the Gospel hasn't gotten to, yet, Europe has had the Gospel for a long time and has by-and-large rejected it. The work is slow. The work is often very hard. Sometimes, it's easy to throw up our hands in disgust and just want to give up. But what if this moment, this season of real difficulty in our lives--what if this is the tipping point, the moment just before God is going to do something big? What if a season of unhappiness is going to be followed by something beautiful that God is honing in our lives? Oh, my friends, I don't want to miss that, do you? That's the sweet spot, the good stuff that those who persevere and endure and just refuse to give up get to experience. I definitely don't want to miss that.

Did AGM solve every problem we have? Nope. Of course it didn't. But it did remind us of the great relationships we have with colleagues, of the love we have experienced as part of this organization, and the common thread that weaves it all together--Jesus. His love for us, for our colleagues, and for the nations. What a privilege it is to work in a hard place. What a joy to know Him, to call Him friend, to love others out of the overflow of His amazing grace and love and mercy and compassion. As always, I stand amazed in the presence of the One who knows me so well and loves me, anyway. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that your season of adversity reminds you of His great love for you, and that you are enjoying the Olympics, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

No worms for breakfast

Someone said I look like I'm waiting for the punchline in this picture. With Sarah Beth, I'm always waiting for the punchline, because she is a funny, funny girl.

At Starbucks with her beloved Aunt Tina

After dessert with her beloved Aunt Stacy

If we are to trust God in adversity, we must use our minds in those times to reason through the great truths of God's sovereignty, wisdom and love as they are revealed to us in the Scriptures. We must not allow our emotions to hold sway over our minds. Rather, we must seek to let the truth of God rule over our minds. Our emotions must become subservient to the truth. --Jerry Bridges, Trusting God

I'm going to be honest--I'm not feeling it this morning. You know--it. The joy and happiness and excitement over what the day might hold, over what God has in store. Nope. I haven't slept well in a week, and I made the mistake of taking Tylenol PM last night, thinking it would make my back better. I was wrong. It just gave me a Tylenol PM hangover. And the very, very long needle that the doctor used to pump anesthetic and steroids into my lower back in order to give me pain relief has given me some pain relief, but I'm still in a great deal of pain. And Sarah Beth went back to America. And my cat died. And...well, you get the idea. It has not been a great few months for us. Poor, poor me. I think I'll go and eat worms. (That's what we used to say to the kids. Now that they're 20, 15 and 11, they don't think that's cute or funny. It just elicits an eye roll.) But seriously--have you ever had a season in which it just feels like nothing goes right? I'm in that season. Right now. This morning. And I'm kind of ready to be out of it.

When Hannah had so many problems when we first arrived in Russia, we said to her again and again, "Emotions are liars." In fact, now all you have to do is say the word emotions, and she robotically fills in 'are liars.' So how come that was the answer for her, but not for me? The answer, of course, is that it IS the answer for me. Sometimes, our emotions tells us stuff that simply isn't true. Thank goodness our emotions are not the only thing we have to rely on, right? That book I open every morning and read and study and devour says that I am never at the mercy of whatever is going on around me, that the God of Everything is in control. His plans aren't mine. His ways aren't mine. But His heart for me is true and good and merciful and gracious. He cares. He cares that my cat died. (Can you tell we're pretty devastated?) He cares that I hurt my knee two months ago, then herniated my disc. He cares about my pain. He cares that I feel yucky from two months of not vigorously exercising. He cares that Hannah didn't really want to come back to Vienna. He cares that we, as a family, are going through a dry spell. I'm not alone. And so, if I am who I say I am, and if I believe what I say I believe, I cannot live my life as one who is alone in the midst of a season of adversity. Because I'm NEVER alone. We as a family are NEVER alone. He promised. And He's proven Himself again and again to be the ultimate promise keeper. Surely there is comfort to be found in that.

And so, we trudge on. In my case, pretty slowly, but trudging still. :) Pray for us as we seek to understand what God is up to in this really weird season of our lives. We leave tomorrow for a time with some folks we really, really love and have for several years. We're praying to encourage and to be encouraged. We're praying for lots of laughter and fun and maybe even some deep conversations in which God reveals Himself. Who knows what He's up to? I know this for sure--whatever it is, I don't want to miss out on it because I'm off eating worms, too distracted by my feelings to see the truth around me. I'm not interested in that at all. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are setting aside your emotions to see the truth of God's love for you, and that you are leaving on a jet plane tomorrow to see people you love, too. Blessings to you and yours!!

His,
Kellye

Praying for Rain

I love this picture. This is John at the British Museum. He looks just like his Daddy in this picture. Of course, he looks just like his Daddy in every picture. :)

Tash decided she needed some quiet time this morning, too, so she planted herself smack in the middle of my quiet time. 

You made every star and
You taught it how to shine.
You knew my name before there was time.
All this is just part of Your glorious design.
Alleluia! Alleluia! "All My Praise" by Selah

I posted the last line of this chorus on my facebook wall yesterday, and I got several questions about it. No, nothing spectacular had happened. I was simply acknowledging the comfort I feel in knowing that what touches my life and my family is part of a design God has always had for me and for us. Before the world was formed, He knew my name. He knows me. He knows my heart. He chooses to love me beyond reason, anyway. Oh, my friends...in dark days and in light seasons, isn't that good news? To be known and loved by the Maker of the Universe? It doesn't mean that life is easy--anybody who says life is easy just isn't paying attention. But to know that ultimately, the plan for my life is to create in me a heart that mirrors His...that has to make the hard times better, I think.

It's raining in Vienna this morning. And with the rain, a cool breeze is blowing through the city. We live on the top floor of our building, and when it's hot outside, it's sweltering in the flat. John and I have been sweaty messes for most of the week, just trying anything we could to stay cool. It's especially hard when we sleep, because his bedroom and ours are upstairs in our flat, and it's even hotter there than the rest of the apartment. Trying to sleep while you're sweating is not pleasant. With Marc gone, I don't sleep that well, anyway, so this has only made it worse. And when I get up in the morning, there are duvets everywhere I look, as though I've been wrestling all night with some invisible giant. So God knew what He was doing when He sent me somewhere cool, like Europe, which really doesn't have many truly sweltering days. You can imagine, then, that the cool breeze and rain is more than welcome...it's an answer to prayers for relief from the heat.

Now, if Marc were here, he'd poke a little fun at me for turning the rain into a metaphor for how God works in our lives. But I can't help myself, and he's in Russia, so he probably won't even see this post. I was talking to an old friend earlier this week about where we are in terms of transition and feeling settled, etc., in Vienna, and we were talking about the first 18 months or so in Russia. Those were truly some of the most difficult months of our family's life. In metaphorical terms, it was hot. Together 24/7 in a two-bedroom apartment in a city the size of Moscow...well, let's just say that God was using that experience to refine us. He was sloughing off a lot of stuff in our hearts and our lives that He couldn't use and that weren't leading us to holiness. I told my friend this week that though those were difficult, terrible months, God accomplished some of His most beautiful work in us during that time. And after 18 months of heat, when the rains came and cooled things down, when we had the chance to look around and see how God had been at work (because isn't it hard to see when you're in the middle of it?)...amazing. But without the heat, the rain would just be rain, right? Without having been through the refiner's fire, we wouldn't experience such overwhelming joy at the coolness of the rain. And so I'm not just grateful for the rain. I'm also grateful for the heat. Because I know this for sure and for certain--our God never wastes anything. Not a single experience is wasted if we let Him use it. Not the heat. Not the rain.

It's only going to get up to about 75F today, according to the forecasts I've seen. So I'm looking forward to not sweating to death as I go about the day. And next week, when it climbs into the 90s again, I will remember that it's a cycle, that there is heat, then cooling down, then heat, then cooling down...it goes on and on until the fall, when it will just cool down. And life is like that, too. There are times of being refined, and then times of enjoying a season of peace and comfort. But it's good to remember and recognize those times of comfort, because they certainly help us get through the fire, don't they? Just knowing that relief is coming helps us hold on. Whatever circumstance or season you find yourself in, I pray you can remember that God's plan and design for you is perfect and holy. And I hope that you are looking forward to your beloved being home soon, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Thankful for His encouragement

My girls are glad to be together. That makes my heart smile.

John in front of Windsor Castle

See that face? I love it. That face is one of my favorites.

Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Good morning from sunny and HOT Vienna!! John and I are back from our trip to London, where we spent a great day at Legoland and a great day at the British Museum. Best of all, we spent time together. I'm not dumb--he's eleven, so a time is coming when maybe a trip with Mom doesn't sound so cool, so I'm eating up this time while I'm still fun to be around, and he's not afraid to hold my hand as we ride the bus. :) I know from experience that this moment is fleeting. Wasn't it yesterday that he was 6 and running around Moscow? Wasn't it???

When I started this blog--five years ago!!!--I promised you and myself that I would always be open and honest about our experiences overseas, that I would try to keep myself from putting on a facade to make you like me more. I've tried really hard to be faithful to that, to honestly and openly share the faith journey I and my little family are on as we follow our incredible God on an amazing adventure. I have tried not to sugarcoat the difficulties of transitioning into Vienna. And in many, many ways, I believe we are still in transition. We haven't quite found ourselves here, yet. But in the sharing of difficulties, I never, ever want to forget to share the ways our faithful, faithful God daily encourages our hearts, no matter where we are in the world. So here are some ways He has encouraged me in the last couple of weeks, things I hope will also encourage you as you travel your own path.

• Visas: I won't say a lot about this, just that our visa situation has taken a very positive turn, and we could not be more delighted. As always, God is 100% right on time. Never early. Never late. 
• Our kids: Sarah Beth is in a tremendous, wonderful relationship that makes her so happy. Hannah had some really positive things happen at the end of school and is, even as I write this, at church camp in the States, where I know she is with people who love her and will lift her up. John is deeply in love with Vienna, and he is so appreciative of the opportunities we've been given. (As we walked into the British Museum, he told me he really loved our life, and he is pretty sure not many kids from Middleburg, Florida, get the chance to go to the British Museum. It made me smile.) When my kids are encouraged, I am encouraged. God has abundantly encouraged them, particularly in the last few weeks.
• Marc's current trip: I'm not sure what's going on in Russia on this trip, because he doesn't have enough internet to do anything more than post on my facebook wall, but I can tell from his posts that he is deeply, deeply moved by what he is finding and experiencing. He is with men he loves and admires, and who I know are encouraging and loving. While his life with one foot here and one foot there is difficult, it is good to be reminded how much he loves his job and how much work there is to be done. 
• Language: German is learnable, and God is faithful. I was particularly encouraged by the many people who spoke German with me on our trip to London, even though they could have easily spoken English. Austrians are generally very polite, and they are not anxious to watch me struggle with their language. However, by speaking with me, they help my language improve.
• Friendships: With Americans and with Austrians, we are developing deeper and deeper relationships. I'm thankful.

• Vienna: No matter how hard our transition to the city has been, our love for it has only grown. The longer I'm here, the more I adore this beautiful place. And the longer I'm here, the more brokenhearted I am for its deep, deep darkness. Don't be fooled by the pretty pictures and gorgeous mountains and lovely churches...there is spiritual darkness and lostness here, an indifference to the things of God that originally inspired so much of the beauty and culture around us. But that brokenness is exactly what we asked for when we came here--that God would break our hearts for what breaks His. And there is no doubt in my mind that He has done exactly that.

I could go on and on and on. If you're a long-time reader of this blog, or even if you've just found it, my prayer is that you will see an over-arching theme in everything I write: He is faithful. In the big, in the small, in the in-between, He is faithful. I have tasted and seen His goodness. I have been the recipient of His grace and mercy. I am awestruck by the vastness and incomprehensibility of His glory. Our little family--strung out across three continents at the moment--has followed our big God on an incredible adventure. And in every single moment, in every tear, in every problem, in the great joys and laughter of it all, in every Phase 10 game, in every little Russian or Czech or Austrian village, in every experience and every relationship--He is faithful. I am often not faithful. I judge and I criticize and I worry and I fret. And yet, He--the giver of all good gifts--He loves me and holds me in His righteous right hand. When I really take the time to come face to face with His unaltered goodness to me and mine...I am brought to my knees in thankfulness. I stand amazed and awestruck in the presence of the One who made me, who knows me, and who loves me in spite of myself. How can I be anything but encouraged?

Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you know this: what He has done for me, His grace, His mercy, His undying faithfulness, He has done for the whole world. My little family--we are beyond ordinary. We're just broken jars of clay. But His love and grace and mercy are gifts He has given to the whole world. Me and my family. You and yours. I pray that is good news to your heart today. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

  

Walking across His painting

I don't know what I could say about this that would do it justice. God's handiwork is amazing.

Our mountain view from the boat

No matter where we go, He is already there.

Your lovingkindness, O LORD, extends to the heavens, Your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mountains of God; Your judgments are like a great deep. O LORD, You preserve man and beast. How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings. Psalm 36: 5-7

I have a few (very few!) quiet moments this morning, so I thought I'd attempt to put in writing something about our trip to Mariazell in the Steiermark region of Austria. As you can see from the pictures, it is a truly beautiful place, nestled into the mountains, full of calm and peace and really kind people. (John did something--I don't remember what it was--and came back and said, "I love Austrians. They're so nice.") We have just enough German to be able to hold a conversation (a simple one!), and we practiced our German quite a bit. (I mispronounced the word for towel, and had to make the hand motions to explain. That's always fun.) Once you are outside the city, most people will want to speak German, and it's a great, great language exercise to do that. We also are watching the Euro2012 tournament (big news here, probably not in America), and we've laughed at how much the commentary in German is helping our language skills. We've watched every game so far, choosing teams to cheer for based on very, very loose criteria: we know someone there, it's a neighboring country, we speak the language--Ukraine and Germany are on our roster for this reason--or, of course, we love the country like it's our own--Russia got our most fervent support. It's been fun. We have a sticker book (okay, John has a sticker book), and it's fun to learn the names of the players. Our only problem with the German commentary came when they turned Russian names into German letters--what is that 'j' doing there, we kept asking--and when they interviewed our favorite Russian player--Arschavin--and he spoke Russian and then they dubbed it in German. That was a little too confusing for our already-addled brains, but we survived. :)

We went to Mariazell because we needed a retreat. We needed to be alone, outside the city, and talk and pray and figure out why we are so worn out. We also needed to laugh. And we did those things. We didn't hear God give us any big answers to the questions we're asking Him right now, but we did find rest in the shadow of His wings. We played cards, ate too much Schnitzel, swam, rode in a boat on an Alpen lake, ate ice cream that was far inferior to the ice cream shop in our neighborhood...it wasn't all serious. But some of it was. Before we all split up for the next month, we wanted to hear our children's hearts about some of the things going on with us since coming here. We wanted to come up with some "Hooks Family Values" and figure out what God might be doing in our lives here in Vienna. And I think we did do that. Mostly, we just talked and laughed. It was nice to laugh, to feel like ourselves, to play together.  If you didn't know, my kids will make you laugh until you cry. They are hilarious! And that Hooks guy is no slouch in the laughter department, either.

Most of the things we said to each other are, of course, too personal to share in this public forum. But one of the things Hannah said stuck with me through the entire trip. We were driving through the Alps (and feeling pretty carsick, frankly, from the twists and turns), when we came up over a hill and around a turn where we were presented with an incredible view. Rolling mountains, sunshine, lakes...it looked like something out of a book, not like real life. Yet there it was in front of us. We all went silent and just looked. Then Han said, "Isn't it amazing to think that we are walking across the picture God's been painting for the last two thousand years?" Nobody responded. John went back to his DS game, Hannah went back to sleep, and Marc and I just took in the scenery as we drove.

I've been turning over that statement for three days, now, and it's probably one of the most reassuring, comforting things I've heard in a while. Because we ARE walking across His painting. Not just because we live in this beautiful place He created and that we love, but because we are walking across His plan for this place and these people. And if He has a plan, then He knows. He knows how tired we are. He knows that we are homesick. He knows that we have questions. He knows about my Dad's health and how much that scared me. He knows how much we miss Sarah Beth. He knows. He knows. He knows. And just like the Alps don't move no matter what storm comes or how hard the wind blows, His love for us, for our little family (and yours!) never changes. It is steadfast. It is wherever we are. Russia. Czech Republic. Florida. Austria.  He who was and is and is to come has a plan. For me. For my family. For this city we love. For the nations. And He has invited us to walk across His plan. Us. I'll never get over it. He called us. Love so amazing, it leaves me breathless.

So we didn't make any life-changing decisions. We didn't hear thundering voices (we did hear thunder, though, and it was pretty cool). But we rested in the knowledge that He is God. He is trustworthy. He loves us beyond our ability to understand. And wherever we are, He is. That is pretty good news, my friends. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you know that the Master of the Universe is there, too, and that you are cheering for Ukraine and England later tonight, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye