He is good beyond my imagination

John-John and his wonderful friend, Laini, taking a break as we did some sight-seeing in Prague.
Sarah Beth, Hannah, and some of their MK cousins, resting on a stone wall in Karlshtein castle, a beautiful place about 45 minutes outside of Prague.
Marc and his friends (I tend to call them "the boys"--as in "have you talked to the boys this week?) discuss deep, meaningful things. How grateful I am for these men.

How great is Your goodness, which You have stored up for those who fear You, which You have wrought for those who take refuge in You before the sons of men! You hide them in the secret place of Your presence from the conspiracies of man; You keep them secretly in a shelter from the strife of tongues. Blessed be the LORD, for He has made marvelous His lovingkindness to me in a besieged city. Psalm 37: 19-21

We have been in Prague for over a week now, and I realize I have not blogged at all. The Ebenezer conference we are here to attend was great, but busy, and I didn't have enough regular internet access to really even post a blog if I could have gotten one written. Plus, just to be transparent and honest, I was having way too much fun to sit at my computer and blog.

There is too much to say about Ebenezer, and I haven't really processed all of it, yet. It was a good conference in terms of what was discussed. We got some more information about the IMB reorganization that's coming, which looks more and more like it will impact our lives, if not this term then the next. I would ask you to pray for the company as those in charge restructure the way we approach the ever-changing world. I have to say that I like a lot of what I hear. As far as the conference, I think I'll just leave it at that. It was a good conference.

Of course, for us the best thing about our trip has been being with our friends from around the world. Unbelievable to me that we've been apart for a year, just because when we're together it seems like we're still all living within twenty feet of one another. And our time has been a reminder to me of how good God is to us, how He showers us with more than we deserve or could even think to ask for. Our friendships within this company are a perfect example.

Several years ago, we had a group of very close friends. We did things together, called each other on the phone, spent weekends socializing, even did some ministry together. I was in hog heaven, because we hadn't really had tons of friends like that over the years, and I just thought this was as good as life could possibly get. And then, suddenly, we didn't have those friends. Everyone else in the group remained in the group, but Marc and I were sort of shunned all of a sudden. And it wasn't one of those things where, over time, you kind of grow apart. I mean one day we were a part of the group, and the next day, we were told we were not welcome anymore. And we were told that it was not something we'd done, but an attitude of insincerity in our love for Christ. I was beyond shocked. I didn't know we could judge other people's sincerity for Christ. I felt like we were sincere. So without going into too much detail, we found ourselves incredibly alone. There were people who would not speak to us. How do you explain that to your kids? Not easily, I have to tell you. And while we healed (Marc way faster than I), in my mind I vowed that we simply would not ever allow that to happen again. Friendships, in my opinion, weren't worth the pain of rejection.

So we went through the process to be appointed, growing and stretching ourselves outside of the realm of what we thought possible, and the situation with that set of friends healed. I have to honestly tell you that I put my guard up and didn't want to be close to those people again, but the relationships were healed. I could walk into church and not bristle at their presence. I could be in Sunday School with them and not be distracted by the pain I felt. I could speak to them kindly and really care about what was happening in their lives. But I had not desire whatsoever for anything beyond that. And we certainly developed other relationships with other families that were really nice, and would probably have deepened had we stayed in the U.S.

Somewhere along the way, about the time we got to FPO, God just started to shower us with friends. I don't mean the kind of friends you go to lunch with and enjoy it and that's the end of that. I mean deep friendships, to the core friendships, the kind of friendships I'd thought I had before, but realize now aren't even comparable. The kind of friendships that encourage and build each other up with no concern whatsoever for protecting your heart. The kind of friendships that ask how you're doing and then sit to listen and pray over the answer. The kind of friendships where you love each other's children with abandon, where in a group you know someone has your children, because you have someone else's. The kind of friendships that my heart longed for, but my mind resisted. The thing about these friendships, though, is that they are such a gift from God that it's impossible to resist them. How can anyone resist people who love them as much as these people love us? Impossible.

We were lying in the dark one night (probably not sleeping because of the beds...Holiday Inn can't open a hotel or two in Europe?), and Marc commented on these friendships we have. And his remark was absolutely perfect. He said they were proof that God is good beyond what we can imagine. We didn't even really want friendships, hoping to keep ourselves completely protected from the pain they can cause. But God knew that the deepest desires of our hearts were wrapped around connection, and He provided all we thought we'd lost with more heaped on top. He provided a way for us to survive on the field through these people we love. He provided encouragement and laughter and love and accountability...blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside. And for me, personally, to watch Marc be so close to other men again, to listen to him with people he really considers his brothers and it's not just a word or a title or a boastful thing but a relationship...I don't have the words for how grateful I am to the giver of all good things for His faithfulness, His goodness that is beyond my capability for words.

Never have I felt I did a poorer job of describing what's on my heart than in this post. However, I felt like I had to write and remind you (and myself) of how God blesses us beyond what we even hope for or ask for from Him. I am so grateful to Him for the ways in which He has grown and stretched me through a terrible situation, one that I will always believe was not of His making, but that He used to turn us into the people we are today. I'm not the same person I was when that group decided we couldn't be a part of them anymore. And you know what? I'm glad I'm not that person anymore. I haven't finished the race, as Paul termed it, but I do think I'm way further down the road than I was in those years of my life. Anyway, wherever you are in the world, I pray that God has showered you with blessings beyond what you could even imagine, and that you have a good pair of tennis shoes for walking on the cobblestones. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye