John John is pretty excited with gummi bears that came in a package from First Baptist, Allen, Texas, this week.
Sarah Beth and her soccer coach, Miss Schnaidt, at the soccer banquet on Wednesday. Sarah Beth was given the "Southern Belle" Award--for adding encouragement and enthusiasm on the field, while wearing her pearls with her uniform. Ha!
Hannah and her friend, Krissy, at the soccer banquet. Hannah has become a fan of a Korean food called Kimbab, which is sushi without fish in it. I have to admit, it's pretty good stuff!"Now My soul has become troubled; and what shall I say, "Father, save Me from this hour'? But for this purpose I came to this hour." John 11:27
You know how sometimes you are really, really busy--a big event or a visit from friends or a deadline at work or school--and you find yourself with just a few free hours right in the middle, and they are so precious you just want to roll around in them and glory in them? That's how I feel right now. We are in the middle of Bella Notte weekend, a big choir performance/dinner that the junior class is in charge of putting on, and I find myself with just a few hours free before I have to be back at school. Our situation is even busier, because each junior (there are only ten in the class) takes an event to be in charge of, and Sarah Beth is in charge of this one, which means I'm the parent in charge in the kitchen, and I'm singing in the performance for one song. YIKES!!!!! Add on top of that--Sarah Beth's friend, Kurt, is visiting from Germany, and we are really having a busy, busy, busy weekend. So I'm reveling in sleeping in until 8, drinking two cups of coffee, and listening to the Christmas music Marc is playing while he is cooking me breakfast. (What would I do without him? Honestly.)
I've been thinking a lot this week about change. If you read my blog regularly, you know that our company is reorganizing. (Watch Baptist Press this week--there are some big meetings coming up and announcements will be made.) Anyway, for most people, these changes aren't going to mean a lot to their every day lives, but for us, it could mean a big change in our future. Or not. Who knows? But because it's a possibility, it seems to be always on my mind. So I've been asking God to just show me--clearly--what He wants from our family. What He wants from me. And while a lot seems really foggy and unclear, I have been really convicted of a couple of things, and I thought I'd share them with you this morning.
First, it is really easy to get caught in the trap of comparison. Their life to our life. Their ministry to our ministry. Their children to our children. And you know what? It never works out for your good to compare. For one, you can't know what's going on in someone else's life. It's impossible. Haven't we all known those people we thought were leading perfect lives, only to have them announce their divorce, or a child's pregnancy, or some other crack in the armor? But it's also important to realize that God's intentions for each of us are individual. What He wants from me is according to how He has gifted me, how He has grown me, how He has created me. That's not the same as He's created, grown, and gifted you. And so our lives are not going to be the same, and our families are not going to be the same, and our ministries are not going to be the same. One of the really important things I'm learning is that just like it's wrong to judge someone else, it's also wrong to judge myself and my family by comparing us (always unfavorably) to others. It's also a breeding ground for discontent and bitterness. Yeah...I want no part of that. Marc and I were at school yesterday, working on Bella Notte, and Marc was helping one of Sarah Beth's friends with a video project. The young man said to Marc, "I bet your house is so much fun." I smiled, because what I have considered loud, noisy, and chaotic, other people see as fun. And you know what? My house is pretty fun. And never, ever boring.
The second thing I'm learning is harder. More and more and more, I'm figuring out that what God wants from us is not always easy. Some of the possible changes in our life would make life easier without a doubt. And I don't know that those changes aren't exactly what God wants from us. Maybe they are the direction in which we're headed. And by far the most difficult possibility, in terms of just life in general, is that we will continue to be in Russia. Russia is a hard place in a thousand different ways. So maybe we were here in order to make us grateful for someplace else. Who knows? But whenever I play over in my mind the sentence, 'We are going to leave Russia,' I get a weird feeling in my stomach. Yesterday, I was talking to Marc, and when I tried to say the words, I teared up. The truth is this--no matter how hard life here has been, no matter how much we've struggled, God has given us a passion to see Russians know Him. He has given us a passion for this country, a place we have come to love in spite of ourselves. The hardest choice is to stay. But my God, who loves me so much, is bigger than this place or my comfort or the hardships that life here brings. I'm learning to trust Him with everything--even the hard choices.
Well, my breakfast is done, and so I'm going to quit and eat. I am so grateful for a husband who will not only make me breakfast, but who is also willing to wear my frilly apron while he does it. I wish you could see him....what a hoot. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that God is teaching you big lessons, and that your husband made you bacon and eggs for breakfast. Blessings to you and yours!!
His,
Kellye
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