Friday, February 27, 2009

How God, two men, and a bunch of little kids changed my life

Hannah has discovered the setting on her camera that allows her to put pictures together in a panoramic. The many, many faces of Hannah Hooks. Sounds like a movie, doesn't it?

For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the scriptures we might have hope. Romans 15:4


The cares of the world, the influence of the ungodly, laziness, busyness, obsessions, ignorance of God's ways, or our own unsubmitted hearts, can be like a subtle riptide that carries us off course until one day we find that we are so far away from where we should be that we can't get back without help. Failure to be alert to the direction we are moving in is dangerous. And we don't have to be in open rebellion to get off course. All it takes is neglect in one small area of obedience and a subtle drift begins without our even noticing. Stormie Omartian, Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On

I managed to sleep until nearly 7 this morning (I've been waking up between 4 and 4:30 every morning since Marc has been gone), so I'm feeling like I can write down some coherent thoughts. I'm either getting used to Marc being gone, or my body just finally won the argument with my brain and demanded some more sleep. So I've checked email, facebook, had some great time with the Lord, and now I'm sitting down with my second cup of coffee to spend some time with you. Thanks for joining me!

I try really hard to be completely transparent on this blog, so in the interest of complete honesty, I'm going to warn you that I am not going to look all that good in this one. You know how sometimes, I appear to really have it all together and think really deep, meaningful things about Jesus and look like the super-saved? Well, this probably isn't going to be one of those. But I'm hoping that when you finish reading this, you'll recognize some of yourself in it and cut me some slack--and be encouraged in your own walk with Christ.

So, the story here begins at school. Something happened (nope, no details) at school that really hurt one of my kids. And it was an adult who hurt my kid. Now, one of my quirks is that while I am rarely upset with teenagers (is that hard for you to imagine, since I spend so much time with them?), I am often upset with other adults. Some are unthinking, some are insensitive, and some are just downright mean. And I just can't stand it. It kills me when people who are supposed to be called by God to work with kids are just downright ugly to them. And this person was (unintentionally, unthinkingly) ugly to my child in front of me. Then this person was ugly to a couple of my students in front of me. I have fumed since Wednesday about this. I'm not kidding. I've practiced what I want to say to this person in the shower. (Don't look like the super-saved right now, do I?) Thoughts of anger toward this person have interrupted my quiet time. You see what I'm saying? Ever been that angry with someone?

On the flip side of this person is Tim Wiley, who is the chaplain at our school. Tim is young, has a beautiful wife, a darling little boy, and is my kids' pastor right now. We believe him to be an absolutely solid man of God. He is what you pray your youth minister is--funny and interesting, but also thoughtful and sensitive to the kids' individuality, and above all, Christ-like. He is kind and encouraging and challenging all at once. And when he announced to the juniors that he was leaving after this year, Sarah Beth honestly came to me and said she couldn't be at the school without him there. He is an answer to prayer for us. So when he came to me yesterday (when lots of kids were out at a tournament in St. Pete) and asked if my ninth graders wanted to come to elementary chapel, I decided it would be worth my time to see if the kids wanted to go. They did, and so we spent the first period of the day worshiping with kindergarten through 5th grade. I thought it would be fun for my kids to get to be the "big kids" in chapel. What I didn't know is that God was really waiting for ME to stand up and be the "big kid."

Leading chapel with Tim was Shane Lehman, another truly wonderful man of God at the school. Always, when we get discouraged about school, my kids come back to the Lehmans. Shane and his wife, Katie, are such wonderful people--the kind who see their job as teachers as a ministry to students. Katie is Sarah Beth's English teacher, and Shane is Hannah's Bible teacher, and there is no way for me to put into words how each has impacted our family. They are simply adored by the girls (and by their parents). So, the stage was set for God to have a little "come to Jesus" meeting with me, led by these two men I not only like but respect. I stood at the back, keeping an eye on my students, who behaved exactly as you would hope. And then I began listening. I listened as Tim talked about what worship is. I listened as Shane instructed the kids to look out the window, to see all the ways God announces His presence to us, that every tree, every grain of snow, every person we see is God's reminder that He is here. He has not left us. We are not alone. And then I listened to all those little voices sing, "We stand and lift up our hands, for the joy of the Lord is our strength." I suddenly realized that every single thing that had been said or sung during chapel had spoken to me exactly where I was at that moment. Bitter, angry, off-course, following my own emotions away from what God has for me. Marc is usually the person who keeps me from that kind of rip-tide, but for this time in our lives, Marc is often not here. So God provided a unique opportunity for me to meet with Him and be reminded of His great love. Of His absolute faithfulness. Of His command to be strong in the joy that only He can provide.

I'm so grateful for our great and mighty God, who cares that this adult hurt my kid. I'm so grateful for our great and mighty God, who cares that I was being swallowed by anger and loneliness (yeah, it's pretty hard to be alone so much). I'm so grateful for our great and mighty God, who met me at elementary chapel yesterday and reminded me of His great and never-ending love for me. I'm so grateful for our great and mighty God, who used people who usually minister to my kids to minister to my heart. He's good all the time. And yes, all the time He is good.

Well, I have to make my kids' homeschool order for next year final today, so I need to run. We are heading into two chaotic weeks, and I want everything to be as clean and orderly at home as possible, so today is definitely going to be a work day at the homestead. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that God is using the people in your life to lead you closer to Him, and that your husband is bringing you fat-free flavored coffee creamer from the States this week!! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

1 comment:

Tiffany said...

Ohhhhhhhhhh! I wish I had read this last week to prepare for this week! :) I am so sorry that someone hurt one of those precious, beautiful kiddos of yours. That makes me sad. And mad.

I'm glad I am not the only one who wa rehearsing exactly what I was going to say to the offenders! My problem is that my offenders were 3 10 year olds and a 12 year old. REAL Christ like huh? :)

I love you sweet friend. I'm SOOO glad Marc is home. Steve is gone ALOT too, so I will be sure to pray for you and your family regarding the loneliness that can bring.