While this is not the best picture of either of us, I like it because Sarah Beth is wearing a tiara--just like the princess she is at heart.I surrender all.
I surrender all.
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.
As usual, I am up ridiculously early. We have a team coming in from Texas this morning, and I'm feeding them tonight, so I have lots of work to do. And when I have lots of work to do...I don't sleep. Add to that the fact that Sarah Beth leaves for Uganda tomorrow, and it's a recipe for little sleep. Sigh. When I get to heaven, I'm going to need to sleep for a thousand years just to make up for the sleep I didn't get here on earth.
When we left the States, the goodbyes were terrible. Awful. Friends, family, a beloved church...I literally had to get a different kind of contacts because I had worn out my tear ducts and my eyes were so dry I couldn't wear regular contacts anymore. Now THAT'S a lot of crying! So when I arrived in Russia, I assumed the goodbyes were at an end. I couldn't have been more wrong. It seems that we have done nothing in the year and a half we've been here but say goodbye to people. This week, we say goodbye to the Wickers, the other half of Engage Russia and our dear friends. Besides losing Marc's partner (and ask anyone...they made an incredible team), I am losing a friend and one of my favorite students, and the girls are losing two very special friends. John John is losing Uncle Tim, who has great shoulders to ride through Moscow on because he's so tall. While we are looking forward to seeing what God is going to do with this amazing family, we are selfishly so sad that they are leaving Russia. And they are only the latest family we've said goodbye to...we have said goodbye to many, many friends in our time here, and we know that more goodbyes are on the way as we prepare to be the ones to leave. And that doesn't count unexpectedly having to say goodbye to my dear, dear Teri. So what does all this have to do with surrender?
A lot, it turns out. When we surrendered to be Christ's, we surrendered everything. Our hopes, our dreams, our aspirations, and our relationships. Trusting Christ means trusting Him with everything--even the things that make no sense to us at all. I will not understand Teri's death while I'm here on earth. Never. I will grow from it. I will mature through it. But it won't make sense to me here. I cannot understand many of the circumstances surrounding the goodbyes I've said here on the field. I'm not sure I will ever understand them. But if I am really trusting Christ, then I have to trust that He has all these things in His hands. He is faithful and trustworthy, and so I surrender to Him my need to understand things. I don't have to understand. I just have to trust. I have to admit, though...that's a tall order some days. In fact, it's a God-sized order, one I am completely incapable of fulfilling on my own. So I daily (hourly, minutely) lay down my desire to know and understand, and ask, instead, simply to trust and obey.
Well, there are clothes to iron and pizza crusts to make, so I'd better run. Please pray for the team from FBC Allen, Texas, Hannah and Marc as they are going this week to Cheboksary, Russia, for a mission trip. And please join us in praying for the team from Hinkson Christian Academy here in Moscow that is headed to Uganda tomorrow. Sarah Beth is a member of that team, and she is beyond excited about leaving tomorrow. Her mommy has a few butterflies, but I know she is going to have a life-changing ten days. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are daily surrendering your everything to the One who holds the world in His hands, and that you have a breadmaker working on pizza dough right now, too. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
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