I have no clue as to why Sarah Beth and Larissa appear to be petting their uncles, but I thought it was funny. I also think Marc and Larry are taking it pretty well.
It was nice that John John and Laini could act as chaperones for Kurt and Sarah Beth.
John John and Laini build forts out of the linens in the house EVERY TIME THEY ARE TOGETHER!!! Why this is their favorite activity, I haven't a clue. At least they're consistent."...do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:34
I am feeling pretty well-rested this morning, since I slept all the way until 6:15 today. I have been up an hour earlier every day since we got here (a combination of a lot of sun coming through the windows, my body being on Moscow time, and just generally being a horrifically bad sleeper), so that extra hour was pretty nice. Sarah Beth is up and getting ready to go babysit "her babies"--the children of the family she lived with for six weeks a couple of years ago. Hannah and Marc went with Larry, Larissa and Zachary to another part of Czech Republic all day yesterday to video something for a team there, so Hannah and Marc are still asleep. John John is playing gameboy quietly on the couch while he waits for Laini, who stayed with us last night, to wake up. I am sipping coffee after a nice quiet time, and contemplating the things I think God is telling me right now. All in all, a pretty ordinary life I lead, isn't it?
Of course, it isn't really a completely ordinary life at all. I'm an American living in Europe. I struggle daily with a language that is not my own--and here in Czech Republic, I am struggling with a language that sounds like my second language but isn't. I struggle to have God's eyes and heart for a place that is difficult, whose people can seem difficult--though my perception of that has changed quite a bit the longer I live there. And while I am rarely homesick for the place of the United States, I often long for the people who were such a comfortable part of my life there. I miss my family. I won't get to see the new grandbaby in my family until he's walking. I missed my cousin's wedding. I will miss another cousin's wedding in May, and I would love to attend. I miss church so much that if I think about it for very long, I cry. It would be nice to go some place to serve and minister where everyone spoke my language, where I was asked to sing, where I took more home with me on a regular basis. I listen to my pastor's sermons faithfully, but it isn't the same as being there. And I miss who I was in that life--someone whose opinion mattered to more than just Marc, someone who was an expert in something, someone whose future looked pretty secure and predictable. I miss her. I miss her a lot.
So welcome to my pity party, because I'm throwing a pretty big one this morning. A friend posted pictures on facebook of the St. Johns River from home, and I cried. I am dreadfully homesick this morning. And more than anything, I am homesick for a life that made sense to me. And while I am trying hard to concentrate and focus on those things about this life that are wonderful--I'm in Prague, the most beautiful city on earth, I have tremendous friends here and in Moscow, I am doing what God has called me to for this season of life--I am really not succeeding at all. But that's okay, I think. I know that I serve a God who knows that this life is hard. I am pretty sure He's bigger than my pity party. I know He is on His throne. I know tomorrow (and even later today) I will likely feel a lot better. These times of longing for the familiar are generally pretty fleeting. He knows the big picture, while I'm struggling just to see this afternoon. And He has it all under control. And while that doesn't end the pity party for me or the intense longings for home and the life I led there, it does remind me that this moment isn't forever. This feeling is just an emotion--and it's okay to miss the many blessings God showered on me in that life, as long as I don't overlook the blessings He's showering on me in this life.
So it's time for me to forge ahead with the activities of the day. We are finishing school in preparation for the kids and I to head back to Moscow on Sunday. We have an important second birthday party to attend tomorrow. We have packing to do. There is comfort in those things. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that the God of Everything is comforting you in the small things, and that you have just enough creamer left for a second cup of coffee, too. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
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