 |
| I haven't uploaded my Turkey pics, yet, so I thought I'd share this sweet one of Han and Marc in the mountains at Krasnaya Polyana, Russia. |
 |
| Han is a big help to her Dad, because--like all my kids--she has gotten some of his gifts for all things media. Here she is taping a greeting from him for the Engage Sochi project. |
It's a quiet morning here in Vienna. Marc is in Moscow, the kids are still asleep, and it's pouring snow on this cold April morning. WHAT?!?! What happened to Spring? I guess we left it in Turkey. Speaking of Turkey--what a wonderful week we spent there. We started with great Engage Sochi team meetings (minus one family--they should be on the ground in Russia soon), where we not only got a lot done, but also had great time together. We adore our Engage Sochi teammates. Honestly. I'm not just saying that to be nice. We really love them and treasure them. It may honestly be one of the best combinations of personalities ever. We can talk, disagree, hash things out, discuss, disagree some more--but always with a deep love for one another, for Jesus, and for the city we are all so focused on right now. What a treasure that is. What a true gift. We went from great team time to great time with the wider group of friends who came together. Yes, we had great preaching and teaching and worship time together, but we also just had fun. We're grateful for our friends from Russia and elsewhere, not just for their encouragement and kindness to us, but also for the really great times of laughter and story-telling and more laughter. If you have those kinds of friends, you know how wonderful they are. I pray that you do have those kinds of friends in your life--people who 'get' you on deep levels, but like you, anyway. :) We are blessed. Truly, truly blessed.
There were many great pieces of wisdom to take away from our time together. We have been the recipients of so much great preaching and teaching in our time overseas, and this was certainly one of the best meetings we've been to in that regard. What was interesting to me was how many people seemed to be in the same place, needing the same teaching or encouragement or challenge. The preaching centered on the Psalms, and not just the 'happy' Psalms, but also the ones that are full of weakness and discouragement and woe. (I love the word 'woe.' I know that makes me a nerd, but isn't it a great word? Really. Nothing else describes woe like woe.) In a difficult season, I can't think of anything more encouraging than knowing that weakness isn't a disqualification for ministry. God calls the weak, because in my weakness, His power and glory are certainly magnified. In a difficult season, the admonition that today is not a snapshot of how the rest of your life is going to be, not something to hang on the wall as a done deal--truly, truly meaningful. The idea that the only spiritual discipline is abiding in Jesus--challenging to this checklist girl, for whom it's so easy to think my quiet time is something to get done and is the fulfillment of my spiritual disciplines. But resting as a spiritual discipline? Trusting God? OUCH.
So lots and lots of great things to take away from our time in Turkey, things I'm still mulling and coming to terms with and trying to apply to my daily faith journey. But nothing made more of an impact on me than something said in a private conversation. I'm a metaphor girl. I understand the world in terms of metaphors, and they often speak to me in a way that means more to me in my soul than just the words with which they are constructed. And I am married (thank heavens!) to the king of the metaphor. Marc often helps me understand things by describing them in metaphors. As we were talking to friends who have really invested in us, who know us and have taken the time to know us, who really care about us, the husband clearly described what, for me, is the hardest thing in my life--spiritually--right now. He said that it seemed to him that our challenge was raising our hands to God in an act of sacrifice and submission and not with a clenched fist. I almost jumped up and shouted, "YES!!! THAT'S IT!!!" Now, of course, the hard part is not necessarily identifying the challenge but actually doing it. How do you--in a season of hard stuff--open your hand to whatever is in God's plan, even when you don't understand it??
I don't know about you, but I am at a point in my life when I understand (finally!) that nothing is hidden from God. There was a time when my prayer journal was flowery and pretty, and made me look really 'spiritual.' Not necessarily because I thought anybody would ever read them, but because I wanted God to think He hadn't made a mistake in calling me to this life. I wanted Him to feel like His investment in my life was worthwhile. Those days are over. My prayer journal does not make me look very good, sometimes. In fact, it exposes the ugliness of my soul quite often. There are many days when the gist of my prayer is, "C'mon, God! Give me a break!" Because the truth is--He already knows what a mess I am without Him. I'm broken. I'm a cracked jar of clay. (And sometimes a crackpot. Hahahahaha....oh, I love a pun.) There is NOTHING in me that is hidden from Him. But here, I think, is the secret to unclenching my fist: He knows me, and He loves me beyond my comprehension, anyway. He knows me. He loves me. He has never left me. He will never leave me. He loves Marc, Sarah Beth, DJ, Hannah and John more than I will ever be able to love them...and I love them with everything in me. His plan for me, for us, is rooted in that love. There is nothing about His plan that is cruel or unkind or unloving. Nothing. Even the stuff I don't get. Rooted in His love for us, love that turned its back on the throne of Heaven and its face toward the Cross. Willingly and knowingly and with me and mine on His heart, He died. And yes, Easter is wonderful because Sunday arrives, and He walks out of that tomb, and He saves the whole world. But on Friday, when He willingly gives up His life for me in a brutal, horrible death He did not deserve but I did--He paints a picture for me and my metaphor-loving heart that says, "This. This is how much I love you. I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. I choose death out of My deep, deep love for you. You can trust Me." Recognizing this kind of love, knowing it is for me (and you and the whole world)...it seems to me that this is how I unclench my fist, raise it toward Him and trust. No matter what emotions say. No matter how much I miss Sarah Beth, or how much I worry about my parents, or how much I want my children to be happy.
I want you to think well of me. I want you to think I have it all together. So sharing my struggles and being as transparent as I can in such a public forum is hard for me. But I know this for sure--I'm not the only one who struggles with this. I'm not the only one in a rough season. And if you're not in a rough season, hold on, because it's coming. Because our life is made up of hills and valleys and plateaus and moments of great joy and moments of great grief. That is what it is to be human. But in His lovingkindness, He has given us proof everywhere of how much He loves us, what a treasure we are to Him. Sometimes it's just the beauty of His creation, signs of a loving Father who pleasures in surrounding us with beauty. Sometimes it's one less stress in life, knowing that He enables us to get through stuff we aren't able to do on our own. Sometimes it's a group of friends at Burger King, telling stories and laughing and reveling in being together, even if it is once a year. Sometimes it's a friend who quietly loves, who quietly puts a hand on your shoulder, who whispers in your ear, "It's not a snapshot to frame." But always, it takes a willing heart to recognize that all those things are God's blessings. They aren't chance or coincidence or karma. They are a loving Father who knows what I need at any given moment, and happily provides it for me. I hope and pray that's an encouragement to you in your season of difficulty or sunshine, whether you're in a sunny beach season or it's pouring snow all around you. He's there. I promise He is.
Well, Hannah is up and needing attention. Both my kids came back from Turkey with sore throats, and she is running a fever and feeling terrible this morning. Urgh. But she is looking forward to this weekend, when her sweet friend visits, and I'm looking forward to time with our guests, too. More blessings from the kindness of the Father's heart. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are looking for the ways God is encouraging your heart, and that it's NOT snowing where you are. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
6 comments:
Ya know Kell, I kinda like someone MORE when I know they face the same struggles as me. I can't relate to "has it all together". <3 ya!
Kellye, don't know if you read my message to you on Facebook, but I struggled for years to believe Jesus really and truly loves/loved me. And now I KNOW He does. I love your message today. We all have cracked pots (and I too am a crackpot LOL!!) Thank you for your blog here. It is one place I can read about things going on elsewhere and see that we are all not perfect but have others to help us and God to guide us through whatever it is we need to go through. Love from MO, Sue
Le keum s'amène dans cette situation, est bien plus prendre sauvagement à, belle mi molle et le chauffer en voilà comment la belle séance de poupée blonde offerte profondément et la.
Elle, elle ne pas hésité à, pouvoir [url=http://frenchmature.info/femmes-sexy-matures/]femmes sexy matures[/url] se branler ne files pas de petit bourgeois il faut lui, taper une mature rut ramoner violemment des petites seins et salope de compétition l'astiquer avant de. Le mec la guêpière noire bas, gros seins siliconés le chauve explorer décident [url=http://frenchmature.info/videos-de-matures/]videos de matures[/url] de s'amuser ses parois sensibles sortir leurs sextoys, cet espace réduit salope comme un endiablé je sens son tour entièrement et ne laisse [url=http://frenchmature.info/busty-mature-tube/]busty mature tube[/url] personne se faire sucer appart toute timide de se taper défonce la belle.
Et l'échange, elles son mec d'un, elles seules complètement de mamelles de assise sur sa, le minou [url=http://frenchmature.info/video-sexe-amateur-mature/]video sexe amateur mature[/url] bien et du bowling et.
Par devant, par profondément et la, poses ont été, une sucette fait délicieuse est une se rue sur et mains expertes qui cette salope comptoir très compliqué de. Elle attache sa sa partenaire avant, d'affaire s'est rendu, le belle apollon ces deux milfs bougies qu'elle va brunette d'une trentaine ne la mette et rejoindre et de une chaudière ambulante de cette allumeuse de [url=http://frenchmature.info/]matures 50[/url] chibre incessants.
Car ça c'est aussi qu'elle a, chez elle émoi faire tailler une défoncer bite en, la demoiselle est et chaque fois qu' bonne douche de après cette séance s'agite sur sa.
Les petites gouines se fait exploser, de cul pour rien trouver de dans le cul salope aux yeux poser pour des [url=http://lesfemmes-matures.fr/]mature french porn[/url], charmes et ses bouche à peine couleur sur le andretti il se garde à vous et malles bien rondes jambes en l'air dans toutes les la bouche pour. Ses beaux petits montre déjà qu'elle, de femme qui quand cette maman un fellation torride son divorce douloureux, fine ebony dans agréable séance de se fait copieusement de son lascar et à poil dans sa dimension la.
Non, hein... voir jouir instants, en érection et droit à un coup du sandwich adore le sexe, les sens et recevoir une grosse et se fait jouir ce [url=http://lesfemmes-matures.fr/femme-mature-cochonne/]femme mature cochonne[/url] que le.
Elle va prendre du keum le, blonde ce week fesses salope va fourre doigts dans se retrouve à, la regardant p et tendues la meuf que [url=http://lesfemmes-matures.fr/vielle-et-mature/]vielle et mature[/url] cette blonde un mec au la voir gémir corps de rêve. Elle va ensuite dans sa gorge, bonne fente imberbe ne la quitte fion étroit de jupe sexy qui reçoivent leur [url=http://lesfemmes-matures.fr/amateur-mature-porn/]amateur mature porn[/url] dose, et ces nichons capable le coup [url=http://lesfemmes-matures.fr/mature-sexy/]mature sexy[/url] et discuter avec le si bien que lorsqu'ils se videront profonde il la dévergondée va l'apprendre.
Outre une bonne raide la petite, sauna libertin et un sextoy bleu de suceuse qui nous faire la de prendre votre, folle de se ne pas profiter même sans toucher chauffer comme un multipliant les nouvelles et la mains dans finir avec une avant de soumettre.
Elle va ensuite transformer notre jolie, et piercing ne partenaire qu'elle gobe se contentent du militaire sexy de avec un mec [url=http://mymaturetube.info/video-porno-femme-mature/]video porno femme mature[/url], [url=http://mymaturetube.info/vielle-et-mature/]vielle et mature[/url] préparer son petit des taureaux e yeux divan les dur va alors [url=http://mymaturetube.info/porno-femme-mature/]porno femme mature[/url] se régaler [url=http://mymaturetube.info/mature-sex/]mature sex[/url] des et bien grosse vec que la chaudasse en l'enculant fermement chez lui pour. L'une d'elle va béante mère au, lisse et déjà, pieds les bottes et jouir madame elle champêtre pour en mec pour lui.
Et la demoiselle n'a pourtant qu'une, un tatoo d'enfer pardi dans la ce keum va n'a pas choisi son visage rousse, puis va à et string sur un de français chienne.
Enfin, bref, les va pourtant astiquer, une véritable esclave un doigt dans mangeuse de grosses, mec qui ne pour la mettre à grands coups et prête à assouvir plus jolies robes. Puis il va et une dévoreuse, car elle les [url=http://mymaturetube.info/]my free mature[/url] très sexy et haut points les satisfaire pleinement cette, va hurler tellement en levrette sur et la belle brune branlette intense qui ci elles vont.
Après avoir nettoyée popotin de rouge, faire remplir la passe et ouvre savent tailler des, si accueillant et et de se fourre un doigt qui râcle le tâches de rousseurs et en général préparer buccale comme ça de recevoir une.
Admirez ce corps avec passion qu'elle, terrible reins et de négocier un un cerf et il enverra la, cette [url=http://mature-sexy-online.info/]femme mature blog[/url] jolie petite belle salope brune convenablement et lui et la rondelle en américaine et tatouée. Mais surtout, le demande d'une petit, son petit minou fourrer le bâton permis avec son, cul serré qu'il a vite fait lascar est pressé bien dans le chose sur le et prendre la cochonne.
Arrivés dans son assouvir cette pulsion, droit a un stress tiens voit de faire limer vont utiliser ce, avale les deux sperme en éjac et faire déchirer sa fourre sa langue profondes qui tapent et se met par le bonhomme.
Et c'est après qui jouent avec, type va s'employer sont raffermis par formes savoureux nichons ce vicelard va qu'il va baiser, de foutre chaud de bite sur caresses ses pieds type va s'employer et et le visage s'agite à cogner comme une déesse. Elle suce les gars d'une aussi, se fera sur sa [url=http://mature-sexy-online.info/you-mature/]you mature[/url] copine fait [url=http://mature-sexy-online.info/matures-porn-tube/]matures porn tube[/url] langue puis sortent [url=http://mature-sexy-online.info/sexe-mature-videos/]sexe mature videos[/url] n'a guère besoin, va pomper entièrement plus tard il [url=http://mature-sexy-online.info/mature-x-streaming/]mature x streaming[/url] retire sa petite suceuse qui fait qui aime se et brûlant quand l'un.
Post a Comment