The Year in Review

How great is Your goodness, which You have stored up for those who fear You, which You have wrought for those who take refuge in You, before the sons of men! You hide them in the secret place of Your presence from the conspiracies of man; You keep them secretly in a shelter from the strife of tongues. Blessed be the LORD, for He has made marvelous His lovingkindness to me in a besieged city. Psalm 31:19-21

Before I talk about the year 2007, I wanted to tell you about the wonderful night we had last night. Ed and Teri Tarleton (he leads the IMB's work in Russia) invited us to attend a concert at Second Baptist Church in the center of Moscow, so we took off about 4:30 yesterday afternoon for church. It took a good hour to get there, but it was well worth it. The choir and orchestra did an amazing concert, complete with readings from the Nativity Story (we could pick up most of what they were saying, which was exciting) and a couple of Christmas carols we recognized (the rest were Russian Christmas songs, none of which we'd heard before, but all of which were quite beautiful). Let me say that you have not heard "O Holy Night" until you've heard it sung in Russian. Chilling. Honestly, it was a great night. We were greeted warmly at the church, which was very nice. We also met our friends, the Jarboes, there. After the concert, we went out to eat with them--that's six children and four adults on the metro. We were definitely outnumbered. Tonight, we'll be with several IMB families at the home of Chris and Frances Courson, who work with the deaf in Moscow. (Yep--they had to study spoken Russian and signed Russian.) It should be a great night. We are really looking forward to it.

Okay--on to 2007. I can't imagine a harder year for our family, nor one in which we experience more change than we did this year. Let's see: we went to Russia for the first time in March, where Marc did a video project on the work in Russian mega-cities. Sarah Beth lived in Prague for six weeks and went to MKR in Poland--solidifying her desire to come here and live. In April, we attended our candidate conference, where we were interviewed and found to be viable candidates for the mission field (no one was more surprised than we!). In May, we attended my niece Amy's wedding to Jason Burroughs, where we got to see our family altogether for the first time in a while. In June, we sold our house--in four days. We also sold our earthly belongings (those we aren't storing in Marc's parents' house) and went to live in a mission house owned by San Jose Baptist Church in Jacksonville. In July, we left our church for the final time, and then we left Florida for good. After a week at Marc's parents' house in Maryland, we left for Richmond and two months of training at the International Learning Center. We made tremendous friends there, people we're so thankful for on a daily basis, and learned how to survive on the mission field. In October, we left the United States and came to Russia. The last three months have been trying, hard, gut-wrenching change...and some of the best times our family has had. Not everything this year was easy. In fact, looking at this list I can't find anything that was easy. But more than any other year in my life, I can clearly see the hand of God in every single thing that has happened. He has pruned and cut away so much of me--and more and more He is leaving me with the parts He wants me to have. He's not finished--not by a long stretch--but I can say with confidence that He began a good work in me, and He's definitely going to see it to completion. That doesn't mean it's going to be easy, but I'm starting to believe that easy is way over-rated. Rather than easy, I'd rather be more like Him. If that takes some pruning by the Vinemaster...so be it.

Well, Frances just called, and they're going to pick us up tonight, so that revolutionizes what I'm going to take to the party, so I must go look at my recipes. (If I don't have to carry stuff down the street or on a bus or metro--I can make just about anything!) Wherever you are in the world, I pray that as you reflect on your 2007, you can also say that the One who began a good work in you is daily continuing that work. You are loved and appreciated by me. Thank you for your love and prayers and encouragement throughout 2007--you are part of God's plan to make me into the woman He designed me to be. Blessings to you and yours--and Happy New Year!

His,
Kellye

The fullness of time is on His schedule, not mine

But when the fullness of time came, God sent forth His son, born of a woman, born under the Law, so that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons. Galatians 4:4-5

I'm thinking about time this morning, mostly because I had to get up at 5 a.m. in order to get Sarah Beth and her friend Anna out the door so they could meet their ride to the airport. I mentioned in my last post that they are attending MKR (missionary kid retreat), something the teenagers get to experience once they are actual teenagers. I can't tell you how excited the girls were to be together (they haven't seen each other since the last MKR in Poland in March), and how fun it was to listen to them giggle at one another and stay up all night catching up on what's going on with each of them. Anna is a lovely girl, and after Sarah Beth's unfortunate experience at the end of our time in Florida, we are so thrilled that she has so many close girlfriends now. I am also really grateful that we work for an organization that understands the value of providing what amounts to summer camp for our kids. Lest you think that is a waste of money, remember that most of our kids do not live where there are tons of other MKs, and so this is their chance to have a "regular" church experience. Sarah Beth has foregone a lot of the normal high school experience so we could follow God's call on our lives. (Not that she complains--she doesn't--but I am aware of what she gave up.) I am so thrilled for her to have this time with her friends.

MKs have unusually close relationships with other MKs and with their families. Many become missionaries themselves, and they have a tendency to marry young because they value family so much. Trust me, when we started to understand that God wasn't going to wait on Sarah Beth to get out of high school, I started researching the impact this was going to have on her life. I think she is gaining an unusual experience, one that will have a tremendous impact on her as she grows up and leaves home. Every day, I see a little more that my children are really gaining so much more than they are giving up by being here. I am pleased and happy with the people they are turning out to be.

So anyway, I'm thinking about time and the fullness of time this morning. I'm also sipping my second delicious cup of Starbuck's coffee--an incredibly thoughtful gift Marc gave me for Christmas. I also received one of the big Starbuck's "city" mugs with Moscow on it. It's gorgeous. Isn't he wonderful? If I believed in lucky stars, I'd count mine for having him as a husband. Since I don't believe in that, I'll just thank the Father from whom all blessings, including my husband, flow.

Here's the thing about time--I am used to being in control of my time more than I am right now. I am accustomed to being in charge of how my time is spent. And I guess to a great extent, I still am, but it seems like time has slowed so much for me that I don't really have a clear expectation of what my time should look like. I would have loved getting off the plane and walking directly into an amazingly wonderful, satisfying new life. However, that isn't what happened. Instead, I walked off the plane into utter chaos--everything about our lives turned upside down. We weren't happy. We weren't content. We were trying to choose to be content, but we couldn't make ourselves content. Instead, we had to struggle and finally come to the realization that we couldn't make ourselves happy or content, but He could. And though our time is not our own--full time language is pretty much in control of our time right now--I am learning (and I think Marc is, too) that control is really overrated. There's a lot to be said for just sitting back and letting God control what goes on around you. Not that I'm really good at that, yet, but when I do allow Him to be in control of my time without fighting Him tooth and nail, I find that I am a much, much happier and content person, even if it means I'm spending a lot of my time just hanging out with my family--a luxury in my former life, but something I have time for now. I guess in the fullness of time, God is settling us into this new life that He's chosen for us.

On a totally different note--I watched Bedknobs and Broomsticks last night with John and Hannah while Marc and SB went to the train station to pick up Anna. One of the fun things about being together and having time to spend with one another is the chance to introduce them to some "old" things that I loved at their age. We had a ball watching the movie. John even came in from practicing soccer (he got a stuffed, plush soccer ball for Christmas) to sit down and watch with us.

The pics above are just to remind you how beautiful my kids are. Now that I can post pictures, I love sharing some with you--these were taken behind our apartment building in the woods. Have a wonderful Saturday! Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

If I believed in luck, I'd be one lucky woman

LORD, You have been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were born or You gave birth to the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, You are God. Psalm 90:1-2

I don't have much time this morning--Irina will be here in a little over an hour, and I haven't even showered yet--but I wanted to share some things from the last couple of days with you and post some pictures from Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Yesterday, we attended a party for the whole IMB Moscow mission. What fun! There was Papa John's pizza (yep, he's in Moscow) and lots and lots of desserts. I managed to make peanut butter brownies that were really good. We came home, ate pulled pork for dinner (Marc gave me a crock pot for Christmas--my life has been revolutionized!), and then spent the evening playing games (thank you to Poppy's Thursday morning prayer group, who gave us Christmas money with which we bought family games) and putting puzzles together. Marc's new chair was delivered from IKEA (I'm pretty sure there will be an IKEA in heaven), and we also enjoyed that for a while. Hannah came home from a friend's house about ten, and then we all went to bed not long after. Just a normal day, right? But here's the thing--a normal day is such a blessing. It turns out that normal days might just be God's greatest blessing here. We are making friends, we are having some fun with other people, but most importantly, we are learning to enjoy our time together. Sarah Beth and I spent the evening before watching the DVD of Guys and Dolls that she received for Christmas. It was such fun, and since I'm not going to have her here for that much longer (how is it possible that college is only 2 1/2 years away?), I am eating up having so much time with her. What a blessing.

Tonight, Sarah Beth's pal from St. Petersburg (Russia, not Florida) comes into town, and tomorrow they are leaving for a trip with the other teenagers from our region. Due to security concerns, I won't say where they're going until they're back, but let me assure you that you're going to be jealous. They are all excited, not only to get to go someplace really cool, but also to be together for a few days with their "mission friends" from our region. They are really a special group of teenagers, like the youth group you would pray your kids would be a part of at church. They're amazing. Please pray for their safe travel, meaningful time together, and safe return to their homes.

Well, I'm off to learn a little more of this language. Marc managed to tell the IKEA delivery guys how to get to our house--on the phone and all in Russian. I'm pretty impressed with that. Irina is constantly telling me how perfect his grammar is. Hmmm...I think I'll go study for a few minutes! The pictures are from our Christmas celebration. I love you all, and I hope you're having a wonderful day wherever you are in the world. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

I am infinitely amazed

Being infinitely amazed, so do I give infinite thanks to God, who has been pleased to make me the first observer of marvelous things, unrevealed to bygone ages. Galileo (on first seeing the sky through a telescope)

Even though I know that, unlike Galileo, I am not the first observer of the marvelous things I am seeing, I am still infinitely amazed at the way the grace of God daily tunes my heart to sing His praise, the way He is ever at work in my life, even in the way I view the holiday season.

To understand how great my Christmas Eve and Christmas were, you must go back to Sunday, which was just awful. Really--I cried on the phone to my sister, Cathy. It was that bad. No one here celebrates Christmas, no one said, "Merry Christmas" to us at church, in fact, no one even said anything to us at church. (Not that different from some Southern Baptist churches in the states, right?) Anyway, it was just terrible. By the time we got home, we were all grumpy. Then we fought. Then we decided we just shouldn't be here. Then we decided we should be here, but we definitely didn't have to like it. You get the picture.

Christmas Eve, we got up (all feeling better after some sleep) and went for breakfast and to Build-a-Bear workshop. Each of the kids got a new animal and an outfit, and we just had a wonderful time. The workers were just as excited as we were, and they even wished us "Merry Christmas" as we went out the door. Then we went to a party at our friends' house with three other families. It was wonderful--great food, sledding for the kids, laughing for the adults, and then a candlelighting service where we sang all the great Christmas carols my soul had really missed. Then it was home to bed for the kids and a night of wrapping gifts for me.

Our kids slept in on Christmas morning (I know--what's the deal with that?), so we didn't start opening gifts until after 9 a.m. But we just kind of meandered through our gifts, letting them play with something if they wanted to, taking a break in the middle for some cinnamon rolls, not feeling like we had to rush in order to get someplace, because we weren't going anywhere. We had wonderful gifts--I'll write about mine later--but more than anything, we had fun together. No fighting, crying, or whining--for the first time in the almost three months we've been here, no one cried all day. No one fought. In fact, they were gracious to one another, thanking each other for presents and stopping to watch the others open theirs, taking real joy in someone else's pleasure. On what can be the greediest day of the year, my kids acted like people you would want to know. What a pleasure. Then we spent the rest of the day talking to our friends and family around the world, including video chats with Prague and the Middle East, and a wonderful video chat with my family in St. Louis and Indianapolis at the same time! What fun to see my parents, sisters, brothers-in-law, nieces and nephews ( and their cats). I didn't go overboard for Christmas dinner, choosing to just make things my family really likes, and not worrying about having fifteen dishes on the table. It didn't take me all night to clean up, and I got to enjoy my time with friends and family. What a great day!

We've learned a couple of really important lessons, not just for people on the mission field, but just in general. First, I had underestimated the importance of toys. Until yesterday, when there was pleasant conversation in my home as they played, I had not realized how few toys we brought. The kids were so thrilled to have actual things to play with that they forgot to fight and be miserable and unhappy. Hmmm...I'm not sure I could have fit more toys in the bags, but it might have been wise to try. Second, the key to enjoying "big" days may be to have almost no expectations at all. We didn't have an agenda for Christmas day, we didn't have any expectations of what it would be like to celebrate Christmas in a country that doesn't, so we just kind of went with the fun. It was hard to realize that no one around us was celebrating Christ's birth, but it was also a pretty good reminder of why we're here.

Today, unfortunately, it's back to language lessons and our normal grind. But we're looking forward to having toys for the kids to play with, and we're so grateful to have had the funds to provide those toys. Who knew that the key to happiness was a baby doll and a set of legos? Wherever you are, I pray that you also had a tremendous Christmas day, enjoying the blessings God has showered you with. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

I have theological issues with "The Little Drummer Boy" or I have a ham on the back porch

Any behavior which is not dependent on Him living His life through us comes from the flesh. That suggests that it is even possible to be busy doing things for God while our actions still stem from the energy of the flesh. The exchanged life means we depend on His resources, not our own. Flesh life means depending on what I can do. We may be well respected for our zeal and service to Christ and yet be relying on the flesh. Steve McVey Grace Walk

I had a hard time picking my title, so I’ll explain the stories behind the two.

First, my theological problem with the drummer kid. Here’s the thing…I like him. He seems like a fine young man, if a little presumptuous and nosy to barge his way into the stable and then bother this woman who has just given birth. But whatever. Maybe he didn’t know any better. Maybe his parents actually did raise him in a barn. Here’s the line that bugs me: “I played my drum for Him, I played my best for Him.” I think that just perpetuates the idea among Christian folks that if we just do our best, He’ll smile at us and all will be well. Let’s face it—even at my best, I do little that is good enough to elicit a grin or chuckle from my Maker. I just wanted to point out that the smile this kid gets from the baby Jesus could just be gas. Or maybe the nod from Mary is a signal of sorts, like Carol Burnett used to tug on her ear. Maybe that was her polite way of telling Joseph she really needed everybody out so she could lie down for a minute. Okay…maybe Jesus is really smiling at the kid. He is, after all, Lord of the Universe. He can smile if He wants to.

And while I try to stay away from this kind of thing, the other title is an inside joke for my family. I am going to try to explain it, which will make it not funny at all, but it’s worth it to me to tickle my family. Every year when I was growing up, we left our home—wherever it was—and traveled to my grandparents’ home in Tennessee. I loved going. I still love the memories of showing up at Papa and Mimsey’s house on Christmas Eve, eating sliced apples and cider, and then waiting anxiously for what the next day held. After a wonderful morning at Mimsey’s house, we headed over to Granny and Papa’s for another family Christmas. It was loud and fun, there were too many kids and too much food, and by the end of the night we were all exhausted. Honestly, some of the best memories of my childhood revolve around those trips for Christmas to Tennessee. We generally stayed for several days after Christmas, and anytime anyone was hungry, my Mimsey would say, “There’s a ham out on the back porch. Go slice yourself a piece.” That was great the first day after Christmas, but by day five, none of us wanted any more of the ham on the back porch. So when I walked out on the balcony tonight, which I call the porch, I giggled when I realized that I did, indeed, have a ham on the back porch. Our fridge and freezer are packed full from my shopping trip, so some stuff had to go on the balcony, which is far colder than the fridge when the window is cracked. In fact, it’s practically a second fridge, since it’s packed with milk, cokes, juice, and meat right now. We learned this trick from our friends who have five children—one day’s worth of groceries would fill their fridge for that many kids, so their balcony is a second fridge, too. I can foresee that there is little chance that I won’t encourage my family to go get a slice of the ham on the back porch in the next few days. So for my parents, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins—there’s a ham on the back porch. Enjoy!
Well, I’d better run. I need to get our Sunday brunch started. That’s one of the traditions we’ve started since we came—since our church meets in the afternoon, we sleep late on Sundays and have a big brunch. We really enjoy having calmer, less hurried Sundays. So on Sundays, we eat brunch and then supper after we get home. It’s something that’s fun for us and different from our lives in the States. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that your Sunday is full of worship and praise for the King of kings. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

A couple of really good days

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, for He has been good to me. Psalm 13:5-6

I don't really have anything earth-shattering to report. Like all of you, I am busily trying to get ready for Christmas. Of course, when you have to go everywhere on foot, that's a little harder, but what's really been difficult for us is being somewhere no one else is celebrating Christmas. There will be no Christmas Eve service at our church. In fact, it probably won't even be mentioned in Sunday's sermon. (How would I know if it actually was mentioned? I only understand about 2 out of every 10 words.) There are decorations up everywhere, but they are for New Year's, not Christmas. Russians celebrate Christmas on January 7th, but it isn't even a holiday. So that's been kind of yucky. But we're learning not to let it bother us too much.

On Thursday, I took Hannah and John sledding at a park near us. This is really the playground we use most often, since we don't have one due to construction. They had a great time, and I enjoyed watching them laugh and giggle and compete to see who could go the farthest. I have to say, we are really enjoying the snow. We haven't really gotten our "real" snow, yet, but we love the way it looks when it snows. And because the alternative is walking on the ice, we always prefer there be a nice covering of snow on the ground. (I'm sure Marc will talk about his fall on the ice in his blog, but let's just say it's difficult to walk on the ice.)

On our way home, a lady stopped me to ask if I knew where a women's group was meeting. I didn't, so I replied, "я не знаю." (I don't know.) John tugged on my coat and said, "Mommy, you mean я не понимаю." (I don't understand.) I replied, "No, John. I understand what she's saying, but I don't know where the meeting is." Of course, this was completely done in front of this poor woman who was just looking for her meeting. Finally, John looked up at her, rolled his eyes, and said, "извините." (Excuse me/I'm sorry.) That's right--my six-year-old not only tried to correct my Russian, but then apologized for me to the very nice woman, who giggled at him as she walked away. Not a dignified moment for me.

Yesterday, my friend Karla met me with her car and took me to Megamall, which has not only the Russian version of Wal-mart (where I stocked up on groceries), but also a big toy store and Ikea, the wonderful and glorious store where I purchased many, many Christmas presents. Literally, by the time we returned home (eight hours later), Karla's van was completely full. Now let me say this--Karla was basically done with her shopping, and she didn't need any groceries, because she'd been already that week. She completely went in order to help me make a nice Christmas for my family. How awesome is that? I am thankful for people in our mission--like Karla--who already have lives that are well-established, but are willing to take time to make this newcomer's life a little better. We also went to Stockmann's, a Finnish store that has (extremely expensive) American products. I bought cake, brownie, and cookie mixes, another can of pumpkin, some actual peanut butter, and four things of actual Betty Crocker icing. To top it off, at the grocery store, I found actual Philadelphia cream cheese, real mozzarella that you can shred, and cheddar cheese. I have a whole shelf of my fridge dedicated to cheese. (Russians don't eat cheddar, so there is never any to be found. It's a huge treat for us.) It was a really fun, exciting day. At the food section in Ikea, I bought a cookie tin full of ginger snaps (I bought it for the tin, but John-John and Hannah probably ate half the cookies last night), frozen meatballs and pizzas, and a delicious German pastry. It was just the best day...I know you probably don't care about everything I bought, but I have to tell you that I was really, really excited--about anything that makes Christmas feel Christmas-y.

Well, I'd better run, because my family is starting to stir and I need to feed them. Today is Marc's big shopping day, so I'm looking forward to a day of baking, watching old Christmas movies, and wrapping presents. Pray for us--Sarah Beth, Marc and I are struggling with very sore throats, and it looks like we're going to have to start some antibiotics. None of us treasures the thought of being sick on Christmas. Pray for us, too, while we struggle with loneliness for our families at Christmas. We are trying to make new traditions, but that isn't always as easy as just deciding to do it. Most of all, pray that our celebration of Christmas will be a witness to our neighbors, who are not believers. I'm praying your day is as relaxed and fun as mine promises to be. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

p.s. Here are some pictures from our sledding trip.

A radically different life

We live with so much noise and busyness that we often don't take enough time to be quiet and think about truth, life, where we are headed, where we want to go, and what we want to accomplish. Consequently we move randomly and purposelessly through life. Pretty soon the years have passed, and we're no different. We've grown older but not wiser--we haven't matured into the stature of the fullness of Christ as Ephesians 4:13-16 says we should. We look at others and feel light-years behind--all because we didn't bask in the light of His Word. Kay Arthur

For those of you who don't know me personally, this blog may or may not be of interest to you. But for those of you who have known me a long time, I wanted to share how and when my life took the turn to international missions, and when my Christian life drastically changed. I hope you will find it an encouragement to you--something you need if, like me, you find yourself with five shopping days and not nearly everything done.

I accepted Christ as my Savior when I was five. I have never doubted that decision, and have, in fact, had it confirmed many times. I was raised in a loving Christian home, did all the right stuff, went to a Southern Baptist college, met a Southern Baptist boy, married him and set out to make a life for myself. I have enjoyed great professional success as a teacher, and along the way had three wonderful children. Except for a couple of bumps in the road, I've had a ridiculously happy marriage. Blessed all around, wouldn't you say?

But for much of my adult Christian life, something was missing. I found myself mired in a rebelliousness of spirit that just wouldn't let me go, or I wouldn't let it go. I enjoyed being a little disdainful of my Christian brothers and sisters, was glad to be an "enlightened" follower of Christ. I was a Christian, for sure, and I wasn't doing a bunch of bad stuff. But in my heart, I was rebellious. And don't forget bitter. I was definitely bitter, especially at anyone who I thought had done me wrong. Let's just say that forgiveness and mercy were not my middle name.

So what changed for me? During one of the "storms" of my life, God finally had my full attention. I begged Him to tell me the other party was wrong. Nothing. I asked if I were wrong. Nothing. Finally, after months of this ongoing conversation between me and my Creator, I asked Him what He wanted to teach me. Never in my life have I had a clearer sense of the doors being blown off of the little house I'd built for myself. I dove into His word in a way I hadn't in the past. Don't get me wrong--I had always had a quiet time. I am, if nothing else, a very disciplined person. But suddenly I found myself hungering and thirsting for what He had to say to me personally--not anyone else--and I found He had a lot to say to me. About love. About forgiveness and mercy, even when nobody asks to be forgiven. About finding joy in spite of circumstances to the contrary. About not being guided by my emotions, but by His love for me and those around me. He had a lot to say, and it was all there--I just had to apply it to my own life.

You know what happened? Everything changed for me. Everything. I looked at my whole world in a different light, and suddenly, I found myself pulled toward international missions. Of course, I tried to put that out of my mind...but I obviously didn't succeed. Here I sit in my apartment in Moscow--a testimony to the power of God's word if you let it get ahold of your life. I will never be the same. Never. And even now, as we struggle to transition into our new life here, I find that God's word is my life raft every single morning. Maybe now more than ever. Never have I known a time when I felt more like I needed His wisdom and guidance--for everything from raising my children and loving my husband to being wise with our funds. He is there in every decision, and because of that, there is great peace.

Wherever you are around the world, whatever your circumstances, I challenge you to look in God's word for your every need. He is merciful, faithful, and true. As one who has tested Him again and again, I can testify to this. If you allow His word to soak in, if you take time to meditate on it and bask in it...your life will be forever changed, too. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

Living in the world's most expensive city

Thus says the LORD, "Let not a wise man boast of his wisdom, and let not the mighty man boast of his might, let not a rich man boast of his riches; but let him who boasts boast of this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the LORD who exercises lovingkindness, justice, and righteousness on earth; for I delight in these things," declares the LORD. Jeremiah 9:23-24

Okay, my blog today has no deep spiritual meaning, and it's totally unrelated to the scripture above. In my word study of the Bible (I'm all the way up to the B's!), I came upon this verse this morning. I really liked what it had to say. More and more, I find myself in a position to boast of absolutely nothing except Him. That was harder for me when I spoke the language of those around me fluently, but since I now speak like a two-year-old (a bright two-year-old--I'm making progress), it's hard to boast about anything but Him. See how God's working?! Okay, the spiritual part of my blog is over. :o)

If you didn't know, or if there's no reason whatsoever for you to keep track of such things, Moscow just happens to be the world's most expensive city. Yep, that's right. Unbelievably expensive. For instance, I went Christmas shopping yesterday at Russia's largest toy store. The Barbies were forty dollars and up. The kind of Barbies you buy at Target for four bucks, the really plain ones for that birthday party of the kid your kid isn't really that friendly with (you know which ones I'm talking about), yeah, those start at forty bucks. I'm not kidding. I just couldn't do it. I'm going to the toy store near us today, because it seems to me that even though they're the same chain of toy stores, ours has better prices--likely because we live in the "suburbs" and the one I went to yesterday is in the center of the city. Yikes! I'm not kidding--Sarah Beth and I almost had a heart attack trying to find toys. We did find some really cute things, but we paid more for them than I can even imagine. So many folks, many who read this blog regularly, sent money to my parents to deposit for us to use for Christmas. It never in a million years occurred to me that people would do that. If you did that, can I just say thank you? We would never be able to afford anything for our kids if folks hadn't helped. It's just an unbelievably thoughtful, nice thing to do. My children are going to have a nice Christmas, and its totally because so many people helped us provide it for them.

Everything here costs more. We cannot get out of the grocery store (where we go every single day) without spending at least 1,000 rubles (which is about $40). My children will NOT be getting clothing for Christmas, because we simply can't afford it. No missionaries buy clothes here--they have them brought in from the states. You can't imagine how expensive clothes are. It's one reason Russians don't have a whole closet full of clothes and wear the same outfit again and again--they can't afford to buy lots and lots of clothes.

But here's the interesting thing: Irina says that Russians never complain about how expensive things are, because they remember the days when there was simply nothing to buy. She told me that immediately after the fall of communism, when her son was very little, she would stand in line for 4-5 hours to buy a pacquette (a really small package) of spaghetti. They couldn't find anything to buy--her parents shipped things in on the train from Kiev, or they wouldn't have survived. So it's all a matter of perspective. Irina has told us many, many interesting things about living under communism and in the new Russia. For instance, did you know that Russians mourned for a long time over the death of JFK? According to Irina, they loved JFK almost as much as Americans, considered him a friend, and were devastated both at his death and at the suspicions pointed at them for somehow orchestrating it. Interesting, huh?

Well, this wasn't very spiritual or deeply moving. Sorry. Some days, I just have to tell you about the practicalities of living here. It's such an interesting thing to live in a place so totally different from home. It's doubly interesting to live in a place that was my home's greatest enemy for so many years. Well, I'm off to make breakfast. Love you guys, and hope you have a wonderfully inexpensive day wherever you are! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

I don't want to smell like fish

Every word of God is tested; he is a shield to those who take refuge in Him. Do not add to His words or He will reprove you, and you will be proved a liar. Proverbs 30:5-6

You need a little background on why the title is funny. First of all, Marc and I did the Jonah routine for many, many years. Just replace Nineveh with Eastern Europe, and you've pretty much got the idea. One night at dinner, we were talking about knowing God was calling us to missions, and Marc said, "You know, Kel--after all these years in the belly of the whale, I'm cold and I smell like fish." It wasn't a funny conversation, but it was a funny comment, one we picked up and used from then on.

The second reason it's funny is because our neighbor, God bless her, cooks fish every single day (in all fairness, most Russians eat fish every single day). The problem is that her kitchen backs up to our bathroom, so by about five in the afternoon, our bathroom reeks of fish. She is also, evidently, a heavy smoker (as are most Russians), so you can imagine what a delight our bathroom is by around 7. Marc will come out and say, "Fish and cigarettes for dinner again, just in case you were wondering."

Now I'm studying Jonah in a Kay Arthur study, so here I am with the fish theme again. Anyway, he just got swallowed by the great fish, and he's hanging out in the belly right now. (If you know Kay Arthur, you know I've been on chapter one for about six days.) Here's what occurred to me this morning as I was doing a key word study of "storm" in chapter one. We often blame storms in our life on the enemy. Satan must really be angry with us to be causing all these problems--that kind of thing. I'm convinced that more often than not, the storms aren't coming from the enemy, but from a loving Father who is trying to get our attention. I think we give Satan a lot more credit than he's due. As one who has been in the belly of the great fish and lived to tell about it, I must say that I am all for giving God my attention before He feels the need to make the waters choppy. Know what I mean?

Well, I need to run. It's time to make breakfast, and then it's off for some sledding with the kids and Christmas shopping this afternoon with Sarah Beth. (Today is my day off language study.) We are way behind on Christmas shopping, and we are desperately trying to get everything done. Please continue to pray for us, that we can embrace Christmas in our new home without being overly homesick, something we are definitely struggling with right now. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

Learning to rest

"It was a startling revelation in my own life when the Holy Spirit showed me that I had become more preoccupied with the work of the ministry than with the One who called me to it. Busyness in serving Christ can block intimacy with Him...resting in Christ is the sole responsibility of the Christian. Everything else flows out of that." Grace Walk by Steve McVey

I am one of those people who is a real combination of both parents. For example, Sarah Beth is very much like me in personality, John-John is Marc's mini-me, and Hannah has definite characteristics of us both. I evidently look just like my mother (I honestly don't see it, but I'll take the compliment), but I also have some of her personality traits. As I have gotten older, I also see more and more of my Daddy in me. I definitely see him in my type A side, and he is there in my weepy side, too. (Sorry, Daddy. I just outed you as a weeper.) But the one thing I get from both of them is a very strong work ethic. Nothing in my life has made me more who I am than this characteristic--I am a busy, busy bee.

Now, that can be great. Ask any boss I've ever worked for, and he or she will tell you that they didn't have a harder worker on staff than Kellye Hooks. Ask any professor from graduate school who the hardest worker in every class was, and they'll likely say Kellye Hooks. And it wasn't so much a choice--I cannot help myself from giving 100% to everything. That includes church work. I don't believe there would be a pastor I've had in the past twenty years who would call me lazy. They might call me some other things, but not lazy.

But this can also be a great problem, and it's something I've been meaning to write about lately. As I look back over my life, often what I see is not a deep contentment in who I am in Christ, but a really frenzied attempt to make my life meaningful and fulfilling, to somehow insure that what I do counts for God. Then I came here. Know what I can do for God here? Right now--nothing. Learn the language. Take care of my family. For years and years, that simply would not have been enough for me, and it was something I struggled with for a long time when we got here. Then my friend Cathy, who has been here for two years, handed me a book that someone gave her when she got here and struggled. The book, Grace Walk, is about allowing God to live through you. It's about giving up being busy for Him, and instead learning to rest in Him. Now, that might not sound revolutionary to you, but it is to me. I once said something to Cathy about the frustration of not being able to do anything well here, and her response was that God was stripping me of the need to do well and be good at everything. This was echoed in a meeting, when someone I really love and respect told me that her concern for me was the high premium I placed on succeeding at things. Success looks different here. It feels different here. God is definitely stripping me of the part of my personality that needs to feel successful.

Here's the thing--I'm happier than I've ever been. Don't get me wrong--I loved being a teacher and the administration's go-to gal. It was very gratifying. I loved the praise team and the solo work. I loved all of it. It was very satisfying to my ego. But I have never, ever been more fulfilled than I am right now. My ministry circle is very small--it consists of Marc and the kids. But they are who God gave me for this time in my life. Sarah Beth leaves home in three years. I only have three years left to have her in my home. Then it's off to college far away from us, then marriage and children and all of the things she wants out of life. For such a time as this, God has called me here to be this person. And I'm not doing my best to do it well. Instead, I'm learning to rest in the knowledge that I can't do it well, but He can do it for me. I promise this is a thought revolution for me.

Well, I need to run. I'm taking John-John to the grocery store and the big playground across the street this morning. The big boy has put himself to bed for two nights in a row, and there are rewards for this kind of behavior. By the way, in case you're wondering about taking him out to play in the freezing cold--Russians believe in the absolute necessity of taking kids outside for fresh air (kind of an oxymoron in Moscow, where pollution is such a problem), and they do so until it reaches about -20 F. No kidding. So, it's practically spring here today, where the high is going to be around 15 F. I pray that wherever you are in the world, whether you are freezing cold in the snow and ice or trying any method necessary to stay cool in the heat (that was for you, Tara), that you are not worrying about being a busy bee this holiday season, but are resting in the One around Whom the season revolves. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

I hope I grow up to be as cool as my children

And the wolf will dwell with the lamb, and the leopard will lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little boy will lead them. Isaiah 11:6

Yesterday, we went ice skating at Gorky Park, the same Gorky Park made famous by the 1980's thriller of the same name. They flood the sidewalks in winter, and you can literally skate all over the park. It was a fun (though very, very cold) day, and as I watched my children, I got to thinking of the ways I want to be like them when I grow up.

Ways I want to be like Sarah Beth:

• I want to be as compassionate for the wounded of the world. Sarah Beth loves babies and old folks, and she can be moved to tears by the plight of those around her.
• I want to be loyal like Sarah Beth. If you are her true friend, she will walk through the fires of hell to help you or to defend you. I am proud of the kind of friend S.B. is.
• I want to be a person who never sees value in the outside of a person--always the inside. S.B. cares not at all for what others think of the people she loves. You might be the most popular person, or you might be the outsider. It doesn't matter--she's going to love you no matter what.
• I want to have self-esteem like she has. She is not arrogant, but S.B. has a clear idea of how she wants to be treated (esp. by boys), and she does not settle for less than that.
  

Ways I want to be like Hannah:

• I want to giggle at the world like Hannah does. Sometimes, Hannah will just laugh because something is funny to her in her head. Suddenly, the rest of us find ourselves giggling right along--not because we think it's funny, but because she thinks it's funny.
• I want to be as honest as Hannah. Hannah does not pull punches about what the truth is as she sees it.
• I want to be as innocent as Hannah. Hannah looks likes she's 13 (a great cause of distress for her father), but at 10, she is definitely a little girl. She still wants baby dolls and barbies for Christmas--and we couldn't be happier about that.
• I want long-term friendships like Hannah. Hannah has had the same best friend since she was four. They are caring to one another, and Han often prays for Kelly. There are many other friends in Han's life, but she and Kelly will be friends for the rest of their lives. They love each other in a way that most children don't love each other. I am proud of her friendship with Kelly.

Ways I want to be like John-John:

• I want to be fearless like John-John. He never once cried about falling on the ice, and while everyone else cautiously teetered and tottered on their blades, John-John ran full strength everywhere he went, knowing he would fall down and not caring.
  
• I want to love all God's creatures like John-John. If you know John, you know he loves and adores God's "little guys," his name for all animals. I can hardly wait to surprise him this week with a trip to the Moscow zoo.
• I want to have John's appreciation for the value of falling down. John realizes, better than anyone I know, that you cannot learn to successfully navigate the icy paths without embracing the idea that you will fall. He doesn't worry about what others think as he falls. He just falls, laughs it off, and gets right back up to run at life. I am starting to learn the value of the days I fall down by watching John.
• I want to have a clear sense of who God is like John. John-John understands why we're here. In a particularly dark moment this week, someone said, "Why did we even come here?" In his six-year-old way, John responded, "Because God told us to." I think that's probably the only answer to that question that doesn't have us packing our bags to come home some days. God told us to. That's pretty simple.

I know that I'm just like every mom--I love my children and think they're extraordinary. But I have to tell you the truth. I know them so much better now than I did when I worked full-time outside my home. I know how their brains work. I know how much they love (or hate) math. I know how they see the world they live in so much more than I ever did before. And I am so grateful for that opportunity.

Well, it's time to make our traditional Sunday brunch. I hope this Sabbath finds you loving your children and being thankful for them. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

If He's renewing my youth like the eagle, why do I have all this gray hair?

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget none of His benefits; who pardons all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases; who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; who satisfies your years with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle. Psalm 103:105

Lest you think that every day I grow more and more like Doris Day, that I am somehow morphing into June Cleaver and vacuuming in my high heels, I thought you'd enjoy my harrowing tale of yesterday.

It all began with toilet paper. We didn't have any. Okay, we had a little, but it's what we call the "emergency toilet paper," because if you draw a line down the middle of it, it is about the consistency of a kindergartner's writing tablet. No one in the house will survive for long with just the emergency toilet paper, so I had to strike out for the store early. We decided to let the kids sleep late and watch a little tv, because my sister has purchased for us a wonderful thing called a sling box, which allows us to watch her tv over our internet. It's something we first heard about at ILC, because lots and lots of missionaries are getting them. She's installing a dvr this weekend, so we can tape whatever we want. So, when my kids get up, they can watch Disney channel shows they love and give me a little peace before school. (I am not going to win mother of the year for the last sentence, but I'm past the point of worrying about that.) So I didn't get home until 10 from walking to the store, and the kids had not had breakfast, because Marc was in his language lesson. So after feeding them something, I realized it was too late to give John the medication he takes for ADHD. This always makes for a long day. Really, really long. I love him, but even medicated he's a handful. Without medication, he can be disastrous. So it all started with toilet paper.

I never got things together enough to really do a good day of school. It was spotty at best. I ran back and forth between the kitchen, where Hannah was working on math and getting ready for a history test, and the kids' room, where John was setting up empty bottles like bowling pins and teaching his stuffed animals how to subtract. Sarah Beth was in our room, reading about Robert E. Lee (who is beyond fascinating, by the way) and getting ready for a math and science test today. But between all of that, trying to look over my homework one last time before my lesson started, and getting lunch prepared for everyone...it was not my best home school day. So now, I'm not going to win mother of the year or home school teacher of the year. And to think that I spent all that money on formal gowns for the ceremonies!

My lesson went pretty well. Irina and I laughed our way (as usual) through the lesson. When she left, I did some research on a home school curriculum I'm really interested in, and started dinner. Then it all went downhill. John decided it would be fun to absolutely terrorize his sisters by acting like a dog. And not even a nice dog, but a biting dog. From there, it went to dinner, where John continued to act like a dog until he realized it was his favorite meal, and I wasn't going to give him any if he didn't quit the dog act. Then we put him in the bathtub, but the girls got into a fight. Then the straw that broke the camel's back--the cookies.

I don't want to brag, but I really make a great cookie. It's one of my strengths, and I've even kind of figured it out here, where the flour is different. So when the first grade teacher asked me to bring cookies to the Christmas party today (they invited John as a class...wasn't that great?), I was thrilled. Here is something I can do and do well. I decided to make sugar cookies, because John doesn't eat chocolate, and that way there are cookies there for him if everyone else brings something chocolate. Marc came in and I snapped at him. I don't even remember about what. When he asked me what was wrong, I collapsed in a sobbing heap. I didn't get to bring my cookie cutters. My Christmas cookies don't look like Christmas cookies. They look like little round circles. That's not Christmas-y. From there, it went downhill again. Suddenly, Christmas should be canceled because we simply couldn't have Christmas without my cookie cutters. And I can't make Christmas punch, which my children have had every single Christmas mornings of their lives, because they don't have the stuff here for it. And I can't make sausage balls for Christmas eve, because I don't know what sausage looks like here. You get the idea. Then it really went further downhill. When Marc wanted to know what was really wrong, the sobbing reply was that I missed my Mama and Daddy. I missed my church. I missed singing in the choir. I missed my best friends, who live thousands of miles from me now. How can I possibly do Christmas when I miss so much? How can we have Christmas without lunch at Gigi and Raleigh's? Then we had trouble getting John to sleep because he kept hitting against the wall, so I pulled the bed away from the wall. What I didn't know was that one of the legs was loose, so when I moved it, the legs fell off. You can imagine the gales of sobbing that brought on. Thankfully, we got John to sleep, and I went to bed myself, and I have to say that this morning, I feel better, though my eyes are puffy from all that crying.

So not every day is good. Not every day is even okay. But we are not alone. Even without my cookie cutters, Christmas will come. And like the Who's down in Whoville, we will gather around our Christmas tree and sing a song, welcoming the newborn Savior once again to a planet longing for His arrival. It will not be the same as always, because it can't be...but we will make new traditions in our new home, and God will show us the faithfulness, lovingkindness, and mercy that He always does. I pray that your family, no matter its circumstances, looks forward to heralding Christ's birth with us, wherever you happen to be on the globe. But let's agree to sing something normal, like "Silent Night," and not that weird song the Who's sing. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

Me, Sally, and the Whole Peanuts Gang

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21

All I want is what's coming to me. All I want is my fair share. --Sally, "A Charlie Brown Christmas Special"

One of the great joys of being the youngest child in my family is that I have never known a world without my two sisters. No one in the world (except for Marc, of course) is closer to me than my two sisters, Cathy and Kay, and my parents. They know me better than anyone, and for reasons completely unclear to me, love me just the same. Even at forty, I am still the baby of this family, and I reserve the right at all times to pull the "I'm the baby" card.

Some of my favorite memories of growing up surround Christmastime. And my family loves every Christmas movie or tv special ever made. I promise you that I just made Marc download Earnest Saves Christmas from iTunes. We can't help ourselves. The Lifetime and Hallmark channels are our friends at Christmastime, and there is nothing better than a cup of hot chocolate, a tissue, and a viewing of It's a Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve. So when my family sat down last night to (again) watch A Charlie Brown Christmas Special, I couldn't help but think of my sisters and parents. But even funnier is that my sister, Cathy, who has a really dry sense of humor and surprises us all the time with some funny remark she will make out of the blue, can perfectly mimic Sally saying the "All I want is what's coming to me" line above. So I smiled doubly, thinking of her saying that to us and sending us all into gales of laughter.

It got me to thinking, though, of the many ways in which God has given me so much more than what's coming to me, so far beyond my fair share. And if you'll indulge one more "I am so thankful" blog, I'd like to tell you some of the ways my Father has gone far beyond what I could even dream about for myself.

• I've already mentioned my parents and sisters. Can I just say one more time how absolutely, head-over-heels in love with them I am? There are people I know who have no relationship at all with their siblings, and it just bewilders me. I cannot contemplate my life without growing up in this tremendous family. They call, they write, they send packages, they make me laugh, they make me cry, they miss me as much as I miss them, they never, even on the darkest days, let me contemplate coming home...they are far beyond what any one person has the right to expect in a family.
  
• My extended family is just as wonderful. My Aunt Angie is one of my best friends. I cannot tell you the ways in which she and Raleigh have blessed my life and the lives of my children. I have a huge Southern family, and growing up was just a wonderful adventure. I spent many, many weeks in Tennessee, where both sides of my extended family live, and it was just idyllic. I have many, many cousins, all of whom I adore. Both sides of my extended family have been so supportive of this move in our life, and after hearing stories of those whose families weren't all for the missionary life for their children, I appreciate so much the cards, the emails, the calls from my wonderful, giant extended family.
• My husband is just this amazing person. He loves me even when I am not lovable at all. He treats me like a queen. He challenges me to be the person God made me to be. He does not care that I don't shave my legs every day in the winter. Or every week. (What? It's cold here.) He thanks me for dinner each night. He is fun. He helps around the house. He is God's guy for me, no question, no doubt. I knew after our first date that I was going to marry him, and I have always been glad that I was right about that. Best of all--he loves God more than he loves me. I couldn't ask for a better husband.
• My three children are turning out to be wonderful people. Sarah Beth is fifteen, and when I get glimpses of the woman she will some day be, I am astonished. She is turning into this fabulous person, who cares about others, who is very nurturing and mature, but who is also silly and innocent. Oh, my goodness...God has gifted her in so many ways. Hannah is beautiful inside and out, and though she has had the hardest transition here, there are moments when she is totally unaware of being homesick, when she embraces the person she is here, and she is a total delight. Every day for Hannah gets a little better. And John-John...well, he just makes me smile. He is challenging and difficult, but he is also a great joy to me. When he wraps those skinny little arms around me before he goes to bed and says, "Mom, I love you very much," well...let's just say it makes me happy.
  
• I have tremendous friends all over the world. They love me and support me and pray for me, and they challenge me...they are the iron sharpening my iron. I can't tell you what they mean to me. I feel completely free and open with them, and so blessed. You know how sometimes you meet someone, and you just know? You know that you'll be friends for life, that you'll share so much, that you'll love each other forever, no matter that you're far away? I have a couple of friends like that, and I just thank God for them every single day.
• I am settling into my life here. I am becoming comfortable with being something different than I've been before. I am starting to really enjoy homeschooling. I am beginning to feel like I can manage my family and keep everything running smoothly for all of us. And here's the biggest blessing of all--I am finding great joy in simply being a support player here. I don't feel particularly stressed out, even though it's Christmas. I don't feel like I don't have enough time to get things done. I feel like I can sit and read aloud to my kids, or dance to Hannah Montana, or watch whatever John-John is wanting me to "look and see, Mom," because I don't have to go grade papers or prepare for the next day. I plan lessons on weekends for the whole week for the kids. I am having a lot of fun doing that. Two months ago, I promise you I didn't think I could home school my children. And now the thought of not home schooling them is a little distressing to me. (by the way--if you're a home schooler who reads this, I'd love to hear about what curriculum you're using and any suggestions you might make for next year. I am particularly interested in Tapestry of Grace users and Sonlight.)

There's so much more. I have more to be thankful for than anyone I know. And what I have coming to me, my fair share? I'll take grace and mercy and blessings instead. Above all of these things, above all circumstantial blessings I have ever experienced, is the knowledge that Christ died on a cross for me, was buried and rose again, and He did it all for me. I don't have to spend an eternity separated from God. I get to enjoy the abundant life I have here and look forward to an eternal life spent with the One who loves me more than His own life. Who could ask for more than that?

Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

When life gives you lemons...

"Circumstances are to be like mattresses...we're to be on top of them, not under them." C. Alan Floyd

I haven't blogged in a while for a very good reason--we were without electricity! Luckily, in Russia neither our heat nor our hot water are electrically driven, but that's about all we had. Thank heavens, this afternoon the power was restored, after some haggling between the city of Moscow and the Pushkin Institute, where our building is located. I have never been so glad to see the lights come on in my life. It was especially bad Friday night, only because our friend Andy, from Novosibirsk, Siberia, was in town and coming to dinner. We ended up going to Pizza Hut, having a great time, and then coming back for Andy and Marc to work in the dark on their computers. To keep the kids occupied, I watched Muppet Christmas Carol with them on our little dvd player, and we roasted marshmallows over a candle. I've heard the old saying, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade," but I can honestly say I've never heard, "If Russia takes away your electricity, roast marshmallows over a candle." Do you think it'll be the next big, popular saying?

On Sunday, we took a team of volunteers from the states around Moscow and to our church. It was our first assignment that wasn't "learn the language," and all-in-all, I think it went pretty well. I was able to help one of the older gentlemen negotiate the price he wanted. The salesman asked if I wanted commission, too. It was fun. The only thing we bought was an Oklahoma Sooner matrushka doll. The Gators set had Leak as quarterback, but I'm promised that after Christmas, the new one with Tebow's name on the jersey will be ready to pick up.

And speaking of Tim Tebow...what a great thing that he won the Heisman. I am especially proud for his parents, brothers and sisters. What a wonderful family, and what a great example to the rest of us of what a great Christian family can be.

On Saturday, I took my first excursion on my own...to the center of the city and a wonderful bookstore named Biblio-Globus. I was able to find it easily, and even gave directions to a lady coming off of the metro looking for it. (Yes, I gave the directions in Russian!) More and more, I find that I think both in Russian and in English. It doesn't necessarily come easily to me, but I can definitely tell that the hard work in my lessons is starting to really pay off.

Well, this wasn't particularly profound, but that's all the news from here. We did get our first Christmas cards today, from my nieces Katie and Amy. It was so wonderful! We look in our mail box every day, hoping and praying for something from home, and it's usually empty. What fun it was to find two cards in there today!!! We also had communion at church for the first time last night, and it was really nice. We sang "How Great Thou Art," and I cried through the whole thing. Just to stand in Moscow, Russia, in the midst of this great city and even greater thing that God is doing in my life...He is great. But to be able to sing it in Russian...beyond words for me. And to be able to sing the chorus with my eyes closed in prayer...well, let's just say that God is good...all the time. Today, I was frustrated in my lesson with verbs of motion, and Irina flipped through hundreds of pages of the textbook. "Look how much you already know, Kellye," she said. And all I could think as I looked at all those pages was how big the God I serve really is.

Can't you see His "big-ness" all around? I hope you are daily looking at the big ways He is at work in your life, too. And I hope none of them include getting your electricity turned back on! Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

Praise to the Lord, the Almighty

It was an ordinary night here tonight—chili for dinner, listing our best part of the day at the dinner table, dishes and singing while the rest of the family did their thing after dinner. After I finished the dishes, I turned off the lights, gazed at the city’s skyline, and listened to my favorite tunes. Tonight, it was “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” and “Praise to the Lord, the Almighty.” It occurred to me as I sang along and worshiped that the verses of that song make an appropriate theme song for our experience here. So if you’ll forgive me for once again talking about songs I love and why they’re meaningful to me, here’s why I am so in love with this song right now.

• Praise to the Lord, the Almighty, the King of Creation./ Oh my soul praise Him for He is thy health and salvation./ All ye who hear, now to His temple draw near./ Join me in glad adoration.

My life here, more than anything else I have ever experienced, has taught me that Christ is my health and salvation. Yes, He saved my soul by dying on the cross for me, but He also saved me from what my life might have been without Him. My life here isn’t easy, and nothing that happens is a snap. It’s always hard. But He is with me. He helps me. He saves me from myself many days. (He saves my family from myself many days!) I cannot help but be in “glad adoration” of a God who is so constantly at work around me in a thousand different ways. On this blog, I hope that I inspire you to join me in that glad adoration.

• Praise to the Lord, who o’er all things so wonderfully reigneth/ Shelters thee under His wings, yes, so gently sustaineth/ Hast thou not seen how all thy longings have been/Granted in what He ordaineth?

When I first arrived here, one of the things that was hard for me was that I felt like I had worked so hard to get here, only to find that the hard part was only beginning. But what I’ve come to understand is that the longings of my heart to be here, to serve Him as an international missionary, were all in His plan from the beginning. He knew everything that would happen here—nothing has surprised Him. And in every single thing, He is giving me the greatest desire of my heart, which is to be totally and completely His. Sometimes that’s a painful process, but I’m coming, little by little, to appreciate and take joy in the ways in which He is making me a new person completely. All of the old stuff that troubled me for much of my adult life is gone—stripped away because it couldn’t be a part of my life here if we were to last on the field. When He says He is faithful to complete the good work He has started, I know He is telling the truth, because every day I see Him working toward completing that good work. I know it won’t ever be done—I won’t ever be at the point where He says He’s done with me—but I like the me He is turning me into a whole lot better than the old me. He "wonderfully reigneth" over every single thing in my life—and I daily reap the benefits of that reign.

• Praise to the Lord, who doth prosper thy work and defend thee/Surely His goodness and mercy here daily attend thee/ Ponder anew what the Almighty can do/If with His love He befriend thee.

I can easily see the ways He is prospering our work. Our work right now consists entirely of learning the language and learning how to live this life that is so different from the life we left behind in the states. If you could hear us speak Russian, I think you would be shocked at what we can do with only six weeks of training. Now, we have a long way to go, and I often have to stop and really think my way through the grammar of what I am saying, because it is totally and completely different from English, but we can go out on the street and communicate with people pretty well. That is clearly the result of the prayers of the faithful who are lifting us up, because language study is a nightmare for all international missionaries. Imagine being pretty smart, accomplished folks and suddenly finding yourself with the communication skills of a two-year-old. And yet, we have not only done well in language study, we’ve enjoyed it. Every single day we are here, we are away of his goodness and mercy daily attending us. Every single day. I have come to an understanding of the kind of prayer that is constant. I felt sick to my stomach on the way to the metro yesterday, knowing I was facing at least another 2 miles of walking and three metro stops before I could get to a bathroom. I prayed about it. I felt better. I think I’ve lived a lot of my life where I felt like God was too busy or too big for the little details of my life. But as I grow closer and closer to Him, I know that He wants to be a part of everything I do. I pray over the kids schoolwork daily, that it will go well, that they will understand it, that I will teach it well. And every day I fall more in love with being my children’s teacher. Can you see, beloved friends, how he is daily attending me here? It is good to be befriended by the love of the Creator of the Universe.


• Praise to the Lord, O let all that is in me adore Him/ All that has life and breath, come now with praises before Him/ Let the Amen! sound from His people again/ Gladly forever adore Him!

When I listened to this verse last night, there was simply nothing to do but raise my hands to the God of Everything. He is amazing. Two months ago, I could not see a way we could survive here. There wasn’t a single thing keeping us here except for this: God called. We knew Him to be faithful. We decided (and I mean we consciously decided as a family) that we were going to trust Him. Ask my parents and sisters—every time they talked to me, I sounded worse and worse. Frankly, I was headed into a depression that could have swept us right off the field. But face down on my apartment floor I cried out to Him with the groans of pain and suffering too strong for mere words. And you know what happened? He showed up. He was here all the time, just waiting for me to realize that He is absolutely all I need ever. I don’t need to be strong—I need to be full of Him. I don’t need to be wise—I need to be open to the voice of His wisdom. I don’t need to be wealthy—He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and He’ll sell one off if we need him to. (That's an Alan Floyd-ism. I want to give credit where credit is due.) He is Everything I need. Everything. How can I not shout “Amen!” to that? Every day, I settle a little more into this new life that He’s given me. It turns out that I, who have worked outside my home my whole adult life, love being a housewife. I love teaching my children. I love taking care of my family, of making things possible for them. Who knew? God knew. He knew what would happen here. He knew the good, the bad, and the ugly…and He called us to this life knowing all of that. Don’t get me wrong—there are days that are so hard still, and I am so homesick that I just want to hit my head on the table and cry. But in everything around me, I am able to see Him, to see His hand at work. What a privilege. What an honor to serve the King of Kings.

I love you all. How wonderful it is to know that I have friends all over the world who read this blog and lift us up in prayer. He is faithful to listen and to move His mighty hand. Look around you, at the blessings of the life where you are, and know that just as He is at work here, He is at work there. Raise your hands with me, as we declare together Amen! Amen! Amen!

Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Me and the Babushki

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. Titus 2:3-5

Titus 2 has a special place in my heart, because I have benefited over the years from the advice and wise counsel of older women. Of course, now I’m in the unenviable position of being one of the older women, but that’s another blog for another time. What is increasingly clear to me lately is that while other women are turning into their mothers, I am actually turning into my grandmothers.

Over the last few weeks, I have had to come to terms with the fact that several of the things I do are definite throw-backs to my grandmothers. Now please understand that many of the things I do are of complete necessity…not because I just love to do things the “old-fashioned way,” but because I can’t always do things the way I would in the States. For instance, they do not sell applesauce here, and so I make applesauce the way my Mimsey did (of course, she called them fried apples, but for our purposes, it’s applesauce). Both of my grandmothers were great cooks, and I often think of them while I’m in the kitchen. One of the things I make fairly often is baking powder biscuits, which greeted me every morning I stayed at my Granny’s house while growing up. I even cut them with a small bottle, because that’s the way she did it. Both of my grandmothers were workers, and I definitely get the “busy bee” gene from both sides of the family. These are all nice things, moments when I recall with great love and affection these two women who had such a profound impact on my life.

Then there was this morning. Things were humming along—Marc was in his lesson, John was finished with his, Hannah was working with me in the kitchen on her math. So I decided I would multitask and get some ironing done. Now, one of the things I was very excited about when I came here was that I had a clothes dryer, which is quite unusual for missionaries in Eastern Europe. However, I have quickly discovered that the dryer is very hard on clothes, and should be avoided for those things that will shrink—jeans, t-shirts, and especially underwear, which is very expensive here, so we don’t want to replace it until necessary. So I hang those things to dry, reserving the dryer for things like towels and socks and pajamas, which don’t cause problems if they shrink. But things that are hung to dry get very, very brittle…seriously—the jeans can stand on their own. So I have taken to ironing most mornings those things that I have hung to dry overnight. No big deal, right? Well, this morning I was ironing the things that had dried overnight when Sarah Beth came into the kitchen and started laughing. And I don’t mean a chuckle…I mean hysterical, fall on the floor kind of laughing. When I asked her what was so funny, she simply pointed to the ironing board. I was ironing Marc’s underwear. In that flash, I saw myself at Hannah’s age, asking my Granny why she ironed Papa’s underwear. It was not a good moment. Not at all. So unlike most women, I’m not turning into my mother, but my grandmothers.

Actually, I could do worse than turning into my grandmothers. Women of faith, both of whom raised families successfully, families they loved…great cooks who valued their time in the kitchen, who had great friends they adored…I could do worse than turning out like Agnes and Pearl. But I’m hoping that I’ll take on their good character traits, and not just the ironing thing. :o)

It’s funny…Sarah Beth asked me the other day why I am always helping the Babushki (grandmothers) on the bus or the metro. My reply was that in every little old lady I see my grandmothers, who lived in a much gentler place than Russia. In every sweet, wrinkled face, I see the precious lines of these faces that have meant so much to who I am. I cannot help myself. And interestingly, the old ladies love me. I often find myself chatting with them on the bus. Of course, it could be that they’re looking at my un-dyed roots and seeing one of their own!

By the way, we received our first packages from the States yesterday. What fun! We had such a ball going through and seeing all the stuff that my parents had sent. The things we were most excited about? Marshmallows and American powdered sugar. Very, very exciting stuff. You know what was really great, though? Seeing my Mama’s handwriting. Okay, it’s Christmas and I miss my Mommy. Give me a break.

Well, I need to run. It’s getting dark, and I’m expecting Marc any second, so I should get dinner going. It’s taco night, in case you’re interested. :o) Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Little House on the Tundra (again)

As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” I Peter 1:14-16

I know for lots of people, the “former lusts” which sometimes haunt them are things that others see as obvious sins. For me, that isn’t true. The “former lusts” with which I struggle are those parts of my personality which have made me very successful in my career as an educator—being driven to succeed, being a perfectionist, having a need to be in charge and control, being an organized leader. On the surface, none of these seem like terrible things which God frowns upon. And of themselves, they’re not. But for me, combined together, they have made for a life that has been very successful from the world’s point of view, but not terribly successful from the point of view of the Biblical standard for women.

The most difficult part of being in Russia for me has not been the weather or the language or the time it takes to get things done or the homesickness I sometimes feel for home and my parents. The most difficult thing has been the absolute loss of my identity or at least what I considered my identity. You know what? No one here cares that I can sing—most people here can sing. No one here cares that I have been super teacher in the past. No one is fighting to get their kids into my class—the only kids in my class are the three I gave birth to. You know who they’re really excited about being here? Marc. Marc is the one they prayed for all these years. I’m not saying people aren’t happy I’m here, because they are, and I am making some great friends. What I’m saying is that the skill set that Marc brings to the field is the reason we’re here. For the first time in my life, I am taking a backseat to what Marc can do. I am in the support position. For years, he did lots of things so I could be the kind of teacher I wanted to be. Now, it’s my turn. And it’s hard. It’s really, really hard. I am a home schooling housewife, and I’m telling you, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Little by little—and some days, in great big chunks—God is stripping me of all the stuff that I had built up in my mind as success. Success used to be high scores on the AP exam or awards for my teaching or applause for a song well sung. These days, success is a good meal or a particularly good family movie night or a lesson that went well for one of the kids. Success is getting them to school for p.e. and being able to explain to the security guard in a very simple sentence what we’re doing there. Success is finding a Christmas present at a price I can afford. Success is getting up early and having my quiet time so that when Marc gets up the coffee is ready. Success is snuggling with John-John before he goes to sleep and having him put his skinny little arm over me and tell me that he loves me very much. Success is seeing my kids make friends. Success is watching Hannah finally settle into being here. Success looks really, really different for me these days. But can I tell you this? For all the success I have enjoyed in my life, none has been as sweet as the daily victories of a family life that is becoming more successful every day. None has been as sweet as watching my children start to thrive in their schoolwork. None has been as sweet as having breakfast and dinner together every day and night, and actually having the energy to sit down and talk with each person about what has happened in their day. It’s hard, and it’s so much work, but daily God is changing me more and more into the person He sees when He looks at me, and less and less like the person I used to be.

So here’s the rub: I have an offer to teach at the Christian school. It’s a great school, and I love the people there. I am enjoying taking the kids Tuesday and Thursday for p.e., lunch, and recess. And basically, I can have my choice of schedules. I can start an AP class there, something I’ve done for years and know how to do. And the kids could go to school there full-time. It’s a tempting offer. But here’s what I’m praying through, and if you read this, I’d ask that you pray through it with me. Going back to teaching full-time outside my home is going to drag me away from what I’m learning to be here. It’s going to take me away from home schooling the kids. It’s going to take my focus from my home and place it elsewhere. Is that what God wants for me and my family? Or is He making such a change in me that I can now magically do what I could not do in the past—focus on my job when I’m at my job, but maintain my focus on my home, too. Pray with me about this. I am very, very torn. I would love some feedback. If you don’t feel comfortable leaving a comment, you can email me at hooksfamily@everyheart.net.

Okay, so the story behind the title—I grew up reading the Laura Ingalls Wilder books and watching the tv show, and I loved both immensely. In fact, I used to play Little House and Waltons all the time when I was younger. (I can hear you snickering. It’s not polite.) So as I walked the mile to the metro and the mile and a half to the school yesterday in the driving wind and pouring snow, it occurred to me that all those years of reading those books was finally paying off, for now I could honestly say that I had walked two miles in the snow uphill both ways to school. :o)

I love you guys so much. I hope that you have a wonderful day and weekend. I pray that whatever you are doing, you will look a little more each day the person God sees when He looks at you. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Little House on the Tundra

'Tis a gift to be simple

‘Tis a gift to be simple
‘Tis a gift to be free
‘Tis a gift to come down where we ought to be.
--Old Shaker hymn

Let me say up front that this blog is inspired by a beautiful email I received from my friend Tara, who lives with her family in Brazil. I want to give credit where credit is due. After reading her email and responding, I thought you might want to know what things and people I am really, really thankful for this year. Tomorrow, I’ll write about the great night we had last night as we put up our Christmas tree and decorations.

I am thankful for:
• My apartment, which is big by Russian standards
• The babushka downstairs, who was worried something had happened to us the other night when we dropped and broke a pan lid
• A good grocery store that’s less than a mile walk
• Being able to get on the metro and ride wherever I need to go
• Being able to understand much of what is said to me
• My Christmas ornaments and decorations, which (thanks to my mother’s wrapping job) were in great condition
• The Christmas tree that was left for us by the folks who used to live here (trees cost in the hundreds of dollars)
• The friends my children are making
• That home schooling is allowing me to know my children in a different way than I have before
• That home schooling is getting a little easier each day
• Our team, whom we love and adore
• The leadership team in Russia, which is made of Godly men whose judgment I trust
• New friends we grow closer to daily
• Old friends who continue to keep in touch with us
• That the internet was up and working long enough Thanksgiving night for Marc to talk to his parents for an hour (afterwards, it immediately crashed)
• That Lottie Moon pays my bills and I don’t have to ask others for money to support me here
• My Ziploc bags, which I brought from the states (they really do dry well on the tile, Tara…thanks for the advice)
• That the internet was up and working long enough for Marc to “watch” the Texas/A&M game last night while skyping back and forth with his friend, Larry (the game started at 1a.m. our time…I have no idea when he got to sleep)
• My Easy Spirit shoes, which I bought because they were on sale, and which turn out to have great grip on the ice
• My jammy pants, which I also bought on a whim and wear every single night
• Really good long underwear
• Fur-lined boots, which keep our toes warm
• That my sister, Kay, has bought a plan where she can call as much as she wants for $20 a month and that I’ve gotten to talk to my parents every day since they got to her house
• That I got to talk to my other sister, Cathy, last night
• That Sarah Beth and I were able to go Christmas shopping yesterday
• That I brought Herman and Henrietta with me and they are perched on my Christmas tree (thanks Melissa and Gail!)
• Irina, our language teacher, who is the person of peace we prayed for in Moscow
• Leslie, the language enoch (person who is in charge of everyone’s language study) who not only sent us Irina, but has been unbelievably helpful in a thousand different ways, including bringing us three boxes of books her children are no longer needing
• My FPO friends, who call and write and generally encourage me daily—gifts from God
• My sending church, which loves us and keeps tabs on us
• Our partner churches, which encourage people to pray for us
• Kay’s Sunday School class, which has loved us like their own
• A $5 can of pumpkin, with which I made unbelievably good pumpkin pie last night
• My pastor, Alan Floyd, who is a big reason we were able to answer this call
• That people like you read this blog and encourage me through your emails, comments, and prayers for me and for my family
• That the God of the Universe called me to something unusual and different (okay, and hard) because He’s doing something unusual and different (okay, and hard) in my life and the life of my family

See? I told you it’s a long list. And here’s the thing: I didn’t even put half of what’s on my list in my blessings book. Not even half. If you look with eyes of faith—blessings are everywhere. It’s easy during the Christmas season to get caught up in packages and presents and all the “trappings” of the season—and those things are wonderful and fun. But if you take the time this season to really look at all the ways God is blessing you, and if you choose to see even the smallest things as coming from Him, I know you’ll be overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude for all He’s done and is doing in your life, too. I am overwhelmed with contentment and peace when I choose to be aware of how He’s working. I would love to hear what you’re thankful for, too. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Philippians 4:6-7 (Msg)

I love Thanksgiving on many levels. For one thing, I love to cook, so it makes me very happy to be in the kitchen rustling up grub for a group. It’s also the beginning of Christmas for our family, and I adore everything about Christmas. Plastic santas on the lawn make me happy. I love the big tree at one of the malls here, which is actually a huge wire structure with totally fake branches kind of glued on willy-nilly. Doesn’t matter to me, because I love Christmas. But back to Thanksgiving. Most of all, I love the chance to get together with family and think on all of the things we have to be thankful for. So I was totally prepared for today to be hard in many ways. Worried about homesickness for the family we left behind, I secretly began to dread the holiday I’ve always loved. So for once, I followed the advice of my own life verse, and I gave that particular concern to God, thanking Him for the ways in which this Thanksgiving would be different for our family. And you know what happened? The kind of peace that defies logic (or transcends all understanding) just rained down all over me. And it turns out that it’s okay to miss my family and friends in the States and still enjoy what I have here. Because in many ways, what I have here is pretty great.

We spent the day with our IMB family here in Moscow. Gathering at the local Christian school, we numbered between 70 and 80. (Lots of families in Moscow, and many have four or five children, so when we get together…it’s a mess of us.) It was so fun. We ate great food and we spent time singing songs about being thankful for what we have. We played games, ate more, and then played more games. At the end of the day, Hannah went home with one family, Sarah Beth went off with the teenagers to someone’s house, and John-John was the only one who came home with us. (He’s sitting on the couch right now, pretty zonked, because he discovered sledding today…our lives may never be the same.) It was different, certainly, than what we’re used to—for one thing, it took us an hour, a bus, and two metro stops and a one mile hike on the ice to get there, rather than staying in the comfort of our home. And we definitely didn’t wear shorts like we have in years past! (20 degrees is a little too chilly for that.) But if what we longed for what for everything to stay exactly the same, we came to the wrong place. I don’t know anywhere in the world where Thanksgiving is exactly the same there as it is in the States. Every place has its hardships. My friend is in Brazil, and she’s burning up and dealing with bugs. Other friends are in Africa and enduring a hard life in the bush. We’re in Europe’s largest city, and we’re getting used to what that means for us. But I’m thankful today for the differences. I’m thankful that God called us here. I am learning to love this city God has called me to love. I am learning to be content in all things…even the hard ones. I’m learning to love the outdoor markets which are totally different from anything in the states. I’m even learning to love the metro and the bus, because it gives me a chance to be up close and personal with Russians, especially now that I can carry on some kind of conversation. I’m thankful that God did not call us and leave us alone here. I’m glad He isn’t the “great clockmaker” the Deists believed Him to be—uninterested in the world He created. I daily sense His presence in our every day life. And I’m thankful for that gift.

The list of things to be thankful for is long. I know, because the other day I just started writing down all the things we are blessed with in our lives here. A tremendous mission family—who have loved us beyond what is reasonable or explicable. A wonderful biological family—who call and email and keep us in their thoughts and prayers and who have fully embraced God’s call upon our lives as the call upon the whole family. Friends in the States who love us and email us. Our mission friends around the world. Not a single day we have been here has been without an email or a skype message or a call from someone somewhere in the world—just to commiserate with us about how hard this is and to love us, love us, love us. I just started writing the list on a whim—I had prayed during my quiet time some kind of general thing, like “I have so much to be thankful for,” and it occurred to me (divine inspiration?) that it wouldn’t hurt me to make a list. Oh, my goodness…it was long, and it gets longer each day. It is a good exercise to count your blessings literally. Put together on a page, they go on and on and on and on. His mercies are new each morning, and so are His immense blessings.

So this Thanksgiving day, rather than just going around the table and naming one thing for which you are thankful, I challenge you to start a list of your own. Really count the blessings of this life. But be warned, my friends—you’re going to need a whole book in which to write. I love each of you, and I hope your day is wonderful and warm! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye