No...it's glory to God in the highest, Daddy

Our beloved friends, the Coursons, with Mom last night at the Christmas Eve party at our house. Frances is signing "Merry Christmas," but I caught her mid-sign. Frances and Kris work with the deaf.
Our friends Masha and Ira (short for Irina) with Mom last night. Momma was a busy girl.
My precious friend, Frances, and I give Momma a big smooch. I think Momma had a pretty good time. It was kind of loud, but she usually likes a big crowd.

All the paths of the LORD are lovingkindness and truth to those who keep His covenant and His testimonies. Psalm 25:10

While most of you who read this are just settling in to sleep for the evening, let me officially wish you a very Merry Christmas from Moscow. с рождеством из москве! We had about 20 people in the apartment last night for a Christmas Eve party, and we thought we might sleep in, but John-John is up already and wanting to wake the house, so this will be brief. As you may or may not know, my Daddy and nephew are here visiting for Christmas. I think they've had a pretty good time, and they've certainly gotten a good feel for Russia. It's always interesting to have someone come in from the States, because it gives us a chance to see our world through different eyes. When my sister came in February, her reaction (and rightly so) was to how hard our world is. We walk most places, even with access to the car, because of traffic. Everything is expensive. People are often what we would perceive as rude. My Daddy's reaction has been to how good our life here is. Our friends, our growing command of the language, our ability to do so much here...what a difference almost a year makes! Both are reacting to our reality as we see it, and since February, our reality has changed so much. We are out of full-time language (we'll never be out of language completely, no matter how long we live here), our kids are in school thanks to the generous donations of many kind people who love us, Marc has transitioned into his "real" job, which he adores, we have close friends...life has drastically changed for us. And not that we are paragons of keeping God's covenants and His testimonies as it says in the verse above, but I do believe that all of His paths for us are lovingkindness and mercy as we seek His face and His will for our lives. If you'd asked me a year ago, I would have been very doubtful about our ability to stay on the field, and I would have been right. In our own power, we could not have lasted here. In our own power, Teri's death alone would have knocked us off the field. But He is sovereign and merciful, and the longer we are here, the more I begin to have an inkling of how much He loves us. More than I can imagine. More than I can comprehend. Enough to wrap Himself in flesh and become one of us. It is the greatest story ever told. Last year, we didn't have a single Russian friend beyond our language teacher. This year, we have been inundated with Christmas wishes from Russian friends whom we love deeply. That isn't us. That's Him. He's at work. He is Emmanuel. He is God with us. I am so thankful.

Oh, the title of this entry. Last night, Marc was reading the Christmas story from The Message, and when he got to the part about the angels, John John jumped up and ran over to look at the Bible and said, "No, Daddy....it's glory to God in the highest. You're reading it wrong." I know I'm his Mommy, but you have to admit that's pretty cute. It was a good night. It was, for the most part, a room full of people far away from home, but happy to spend Christmas Eve with each other. Well, he's "quietly and nicely" waking up his sisters, so I'd better run. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you recognize the many blessings of a loving Father who loved you enough to send His only son, and that everyone in your house is as excited about Christmas as everyone in my house. Blessings to you and yours--and Merry Christmas!

His,
Kellye

Everyone needs an Aunt Lee

Who can resist that smile? Not his Momma, I promise.

Yep...those are haystacks. Thanks to Cathy Matheney, who sent us two huge boxes full of Christmas goodies, including butterscotch chips!

Many Christians believe that we need to be strong if God is going to use our lives. The reality, however, is that we don't become strong enough for God to use. Instead, we must become weak enough. Steve McVey Grace Rules

It's been a rough week here at the Hooks' house. First our washer broke down, then I became really ill (I am finally on the mend, I think). Then we received word that Marc's Aunt Lee had passed away. This was, as you can imagine, very hard for Marc, who had been quite close to Lee growing up. Lee had received Christ as her Savior only the week before going into hospice care, so you can imagine that we were so relieved to know that she had taken care of the eternal before passing away.

I was not ever very close to Aunt Lee. She and I were very different people, and we really didn't totally understand one another. But I always appreciated the important role she played in making Marc into the man he has become. She taught him photography, took him to unbelievable places (she probably would think the Arctic circle in January sounded like fun!), and just generally doted on him. She went to everything he did--even church things, though she was definitely not a believer and definitely not interested in being a believer. She thought everything Marc did was wonderful. Every person should have someone in their life who thinks they are smart and talented and great...and Aunt Lee was that person for Marc. Those things that are sometimes hard for people to verbalize--like "Wow! That's the best video I ever saw!" or "Of course they want to hire you--you're unbelievably talented"--Aunt Lee always managed to put into words. She was never surprised by his success, because she recognized all of the good inside him. Those things that Marc (and every other person on the planet) needed to hear, she always said to him. What a gift to him, and what a blessing to those of us who are honored to have him in our lives. She was a unique person, gifted in encouragement. My guess is that if we were to talk to other people to whom she was close, they would probably say that she was always an encouragement to them, too.

Well, a little boy is asking to make his own toast this morning, so I must run. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you have been blessed with an Aunt Lee, someone who is outspoken about their love for and belief in you, and that your son has memorized all of his lines for the Christmas play this afternoon. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Lessons I've learned about success

Anastasia smiles for the camera while everyone tries their first pumpkin pie (which I made totally from scratch and turned out to be pretty tasty).
Marc is explaining something to Anastasia, and she is obviously listening pretty intently.
Sergei is smiling at something Karoline said, while Leigha (sitting) waits to eat and Marina (looking at the camera) goes to get something to drink.
The table set for dinner. The tablecloth, napkins and plates were sent to us by my sister's Sunday School class at First Baptist of Allen, Texas. The plates have part of Psalm 100 on them, and everyone spent time reading them before they got their food.

We must renounce confidence in our ability, acknowledging that it is only by His indwelling life that we accomplish anything of value...Ability becomes a liability when we trust in the ability instead of trusting in God. --Grace Rules by Steve McVey

Yesterday was our English Club Thanksgiving celebration, and we are very happy with how things went. We ate, talked, laughed, and each person had the chance to say what they are thankful for in their lives. Marc prayed in Russian (yea, Marc!) and read from the Psalms. Then, in a moment I will not soon forget, Sergei read a poem about being thankful to God. Then he looked around at each of us and said, "I am thankful to the Lord, for He has been very good to me." That may seem like a baby step to anyone living outside of Eastern Europe, but for those of us here, it's a giant leap. It is good and comforting to see progress...a testimony to God's grace toward us.

One of the things that has happened is that my idea of what success is has changed over the fourteen months we've been here. I will never forget sitting across from Teri Tarleton at ILC in Richmond and hearing her say, "Kellye, my only fear for you is your need for success. Success in Russia looks different from success here." When I came to Russia, the thing that drove me the nuttiest was that I felt like I'd been put in a situation where success was not an option. Full-time language and full-time homeschooling didn't leave much of an option for feeling anything less than a failure. I probably muttered to myself a thousand times, "If I can't do it well, it can't be done." Looking back on that, I hear the pride wrapped up in the idea that I am so...smart, organized, together, motivated, hard-working...that I can do anything. And my intentions were good. I wanted to succeed at this life just like I'd succeeded in my life in the States. I wanted to be successful for God, to do great things for Him.

Of course, what I've learned is that God doesn't need me to be successful for Him. He needs me to be available. He needs me to be faithful. He needs me to be listening. He needs me to be open to things I've never, in my whole life, considered doing. But He doesn't really need me to be successful. You want to know the truth? There's a lot less pressure in a life that isn't so focused on success. I don't have to have the biggest English club to feel like I'm doing what God wants me to be doing right now. I don't have to have great AP scores. I don't have to speak perfect Russian. (Ha! I'll NEVER speak perfect Russian!) I just have to do whatever it is He's given me the grace for this day. Tomorrow, I'll get more grace and a different set of instructions. I don't have to worry. He's got it all under control. He'll let me know when I need to know what's next. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are depending totally on God for whatever is next in your life, and that your team and your husband's team will NOT be playing in the national championship against one another. Go Gators!!! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Oh, to grace how great a debtor...Jesus saves!

This is my traditional picture to capture how many people we had in the apartment. It is customary to take off your shoes when you enter someone's home. This was our entryway during our after-Thanksgiving party.
There was, of course, Phase Ten to be played.
John-John and his friend, James, are playing Xbox. I love the look on John-John's face.

Freedom's calling
Chains are falling
Hope is dawning
Bright and true.
Day is breaking
Night is quaking
God is making
All things new.
Jesus saves!
--"Jesus Saves"
Travis Cottrell
David Moffitt

Wow! A weekday post...amazing, I know. I usually don't have time to do this in the mornings before school, but this was a story I had to tell, so I'm making time for it. I hope you will find it as encouraging as I do.

Many, many days, it is just plain hard to live here. A friend of ours put it perfectly yesterday. He said it was work to live in Moscow. You're working all the time. It's not something I can describe, but suffice to say that living in Moscow often makes me feel worn out and wrung out and discouraged. I can't talk about other fields, but I can tell you that Moscow is just plain hard. And because we've been raised as Southern Baptists, we've spent our whole lives hearing numbers. There were this many in worship, this many in Sunday School, we visited this many at visitation...you get the idea. So when numbers drop in whatever ministry you're working on, it can be very discouraging. And that's exactly what has happened lately with English Club. We have been having maybe 5-10 people, when we ran in the high teens this summer. Of course, we understand that people's schedules have changed, and so they are working on Thursday nights, etc., but that doesn't prevent us from feeling like mediocre missionaries, at best. So last night, I just asked God to help me find a way to really invest in whoever showed up for English Club. No matter how many people came, I asked Him to help me pour myself into them. And then something very interesting happened.

Only two people showed up last night. Two. Leigha, who is a 17-year-old high school student, and Marina, who is a chemical engineer in her mid-50s. At first, I was disappointed. I had just said to Marc that it wasn't worth the preparation to only have a few people, so maybe we should just cancel English Club altogether. But he reminded me that we really only started with two people, and God had been faithful so far. So I came into the living room to chat with them before the lesson started, and I found them looking at the Christmas decorations. Leigha was smiling and Marina was gazing around the room. "Kellye, (I wish I could spell my name like Russians say it...sort of like kyeelee) I have never seen such decorations as these." I began explaining all the decorations on the tree, what the ornaments mean, different relationships they represent, and how we chose them very carefully to bring with us. I even talked about my Momma wrapping each ornament individually, and how it meant so much to me to have my decorations with me at Christmas, especially since Russians don't celebrate Christmas in the same way or at the same time as Americans (and most of the rest of the world) do. Leigha quietly said, "My family has a Christmas tree. We celebrate on December 25th." I looked at her and smiled. "Really?" I said. "Why does your family celebrate on the 25th?" She smiled at me again. "Well, my aunt once lived in the United States. And we are Christians." And then, very quietly and in Russian, she said, "We are not Orthodox." For a split second, we looked at one another. "I understand," I replied in Russian. And suddenly, English Club had taken an interesting turn.

So we went on with the lesson, but everything had a different feel to it, at least to me. As we were doing the lesson, I kept catching Marina gazing at our Christmas stockings, which my Momma made for us. "What is it called, Kellye, this putting together of different fabrics?" she asked. I told her it was quilting, and that my mother had made the stockings for us. "She is very talented, your mother." Yes, I agreed. I told her that I found them very comforting, because I knew that each time my mother had stitched things for me, she had thought of me, loved me, and prayed for me. "She must love you very much," she said softly. Then I showed her the quilt my friend, Janet, made and that different members of our church had signed. I told her that even that afternoon, I had sat in that chair with the quilt on my lap, reading a book, and thinking about the people who had signed the quilt and the beloved friend who had made it. I emphasized again that these things meant so much to me. "They must love you very much," she said. I went on to tell her about quilt ministry at our church, how my mother and her friends had sent blankets all over the world to people who needed them, because God had given them that talent to use for Him in places they would never see and never visit. "She is an extraordinary woman, I think. Your mother," she said as she gazed, once again, at the stockings. Then the "Hallelujah Chorus" played on Marc's iPod, which we had hooked up to play softly the whole evening. "What is this song?" Marina asked. So I told her the story of Handel, of the king standing in praise the moment he heard the hallelujahs, how all over the world, when people hear the opening chords they stand in honor, not of tradition, but of the baby Jesus, who was sent to save us. And suddenly, English Club had taken a VERY interesting turn.

Now, I would love to tell you that Marina bowed her head right there and accepted Christ. She didn't. But she laughed and talked, something she has never done in the six months she has been faithfully coming to our house. It struck me that God had given me so much grace that night...first to be encouraged by Leigha's faith, and then to be encouraged that He is at work in the people to whom we minister...even when we can't see what He's doing. It is so difficult to strike up spiritual conversations with Russians, yet He had given me an entire night when I had nothing but spiritual conversations. He is good...all the time. And so, my Momma and her quilts came to English Club last night, ministered to my Russian friend, and helped me talk about Jesus. Not a bad day's work. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are having opportunities to tell others the good news that Jesus saves, and that your apartment is ready for the big party at your house tomorrow afternoon. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Listening and waiting...not really my forte

The Ivanovo Princesses (Alys and Sarah) came to visit for Thanksgiving. Sarah Beth (can you see her head in Sarah's lap?) was pretty thrilled, as were the rest of us.
Ed, Marc and Jill are solving the problems of Russia in the Tarleton's kitchen. Not a bad way to spend Thanksgiving.
Aren't our girls all beautiful? This was a couch full of pretty on Thanksgiving Day.
Hannah and her friend, Amielle, contemplate the many delicious desserts laid out on Thanksgiving Day.
We had some great praise and worship time. I can't tell you how much we love the people in this picture.

Trust and obey
For there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus
But to trust and obey.

I don't have tons of time this morning, since Hannah has to be at Kaluzhskaya Mall to meet a friend in an hour, but I thought I'd take a second or two to post some Thanksgiving pics and tell you that we had a great day. We spent the day at Ed Tarleton's with Ed, Rachel and Rebecca and about 30 other people. We had a great time, and we walked away feeling thankful for the relationships we've made here in Moscow. Then last night we had about 30 people over for an after-Thanksgiving chili and football (and Christmas movies and Phase 10) party. We had a wonderful time, and I'll post some pics tomorrow of that. Suffice to say that it's been a great holiday for us, and we are enjoying some time as a family without a lot of outside pressures. I'm especially thankful for that.

I've been thinking a lot about how God's grace isn't always comprehensible, and neither are the things that He sifts through His hands for us. We are facing decisions about our career that we never thought we'd have to make this early into our career. Beloved friends, faithful servants here in Russia, had an adoption fall through and found out the same day that they will likely have to leave Russia for good. Of course, Thanksgiving Day was a reminder that our darling Teri was missing, bringing thoughts of that loss to the forefront of our minds again. More and more, life gets harder in this country for foreigners. What is He up to? Shouldn't it be easier to be His? Unfortunately, if you study His word, there's no promise of easy. There's only a promise to be faithful, to always be with us. I'd love to see the verse with a promise of an easy life, so if you can find it, let me know. But so far, that's not how it's worked for most people I know. So what do you do with the stuff that makes no sense? You listen and wait. You smile and move forward. You trust and obey...even when it doesn't make sense. So we're enjoying our weekend, listening and waiting, trusting and obeying. There really is no other way to be happy in Jesus.

Well, we've got to get Hannah to the mall to meet her friend, so I'd better run. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that even when life doesn't make sense, you will trust and obey the One who loves you more than you can imagine, and that your Russian friend brought you beautiful red carnations at the party at your house last night. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Thanksgiving is a choice

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Happy Thanksgiving! Most of you are still asleep, because it's just midnight in the States, but I have been up for a while, making rolls, boiling potatoes for mashing, and spending quiet time with the Lord (and with Starbucks...which is heavenly). I can't think of a better way to start this Thanksgiving, can you? We will spend our Thanksgiving with the Tarleton's and about thirty other people. YIKES! That's a lot of folks in one apartment. But it will be fun to be together, and my family is really looking forward to it.

As I read my Bible this morning, it occurred to me that being thankful is a choice, and not just today, when it's expected, but every day in every thing. It's a choice that can be hard for me. Many days, it's a whole lot easier to just concentrate on what is hard or bad about life. But when I take the time to really look at my life, in spite of the hardships of living far from home, I find that I am so much more content. So here are some things I am especially thankful for this Thanksgiving, and every other day, too:

• our partner churches, who love us and pray for us continually
• facebook, which keeps me connected to people I love from all over the world
• teaching, which provides an outlet for me to feel successful and active in ministry
• my students, who make me laugh and are just generally wonderful people
• growing friendships here in Moscow
• beloved friends around the world
• our cat, Notchka, who is a big, silly goober, but keeps us laughing
• iTunes, which lets us download movies and music that make life fun (Get Smart last night--what a hoot!)
• boxes from the States, full of goodies and treats that we can't get here
• Marc's job, which he loves so much
• Tim, Marc's traveling partner, who Marc also loves so much
• Ed, our boss here, who has a passion and vision for this giant place
• snow, which makes the gray a little bit lighter (it's pouring snow again, by the way)
• my new snow boots, which are comfortable, warm, and have great tread on the bottom!
• my home, which is big enough to house lots of people
• the company we work for, which takes unbelievably good care of us
• my parents, who are ridiculously wonderful and love us so much
• my sister, Kay, who is such an enthusiastic person, and who puts her all into everything she does, including loving her family far from home
• my sister, Cathy, who is kind and generous and loving, and everything you can imagine or want in a big sister
• Sarah Beth, who is growing into a tremendous young woman, full of love for Christ and her fellow man
• Hannah, who is working so hard to live here and choose happiness
• John-John, who makes sure life is never, ever boring or dull
• Marc, who treats me like a queen
• my Jesus, who has become more real to me in the last year, who walks with me every day, who loves me even when I am immensely unlovable, who died so I might live

Well, folks are stirring here and there are potatoes to mash, so I should run. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are thankful for the many gifts God has given you, and that your husband is going to drive you to the metro so you don't have to carry all the Thanksgiving food for a mile. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Grace, grace, God's grace

Rebecca and John John...he adores her, and well he should. Who else would play tic tac toe with him if not for Becca?
I cannot remember what Rachel and Sarah Beth thought was so hysterical, but I love this picture so much. Sarah Beth and Spunky...quite a pair.
I have not yet convinced Hannah that she can drink her hot chocolate instead of sipping it with a spoon. Do other people's children do this? (And yes, John John is eating cereal directly from the container.)

We don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all--all but the sin. So let's walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help. Hebrews 4:15-16 (The Message)

Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16 (NASB)

The IMB Moscow ladies (I can't figure out another way to put that...sorry) have started meeting every Tuesday for lunch, prayer and Bible study. I cannot tell you what an answer to prayer this has been. Those who are closest to me in the world know that I have longed and prayed for connection to other women in this city. We are studying Colossians right now--kind of nice for me, since I did a study of Colossians about two months ago--and on Tuesday, I was struck by something that one of the ladies said. She said that growing up in the church, she did not know about God's grace for living. Grace for salvation, yes, but not for living. It struck a chord in me. Do I really understand God's grace? I did a word study of 'grace' for the rest of the week, and you see one of my favorites above. I wonder sometimes whether in times of need we actually draw near to the throne of grace and ask for help, or do we shout it from a distance? Do we want Jesus to come to us, or do we draw near to Him? I don't know the answer to that for everyone, but more and more I am contemplating how to draw near to the throne of grace.

The last month of our lives has not been an easy one. There have been some great things, to be sure, but there has also been lots of traveling for Marc (he's in Chebaksary now) and discontentedness for the rest of us. (I am thinking of banning the saying, 'it's not fair' from the household.) We have struggled with Marc's absence, with school, with our emotions, with each other. And I find myself praying, "Lord, I know You are tired of me coming to You about this, but could You just give me enough grace to get through this moment? I know You're so sick of us and our complaining and our failure and our moods and our chaos, but please...just a little more grace?" And you know what? I'm pretty sure after studying His grace a little more in-depth that He is never tired of me coming to Him. He has an abundance of grace. More than I can comprehend. More than I can understand. And certainly more than I can exhaust. It turns out that His grace is bigger and more powerful than any of the millions of things I bring to Him in the course of a day. As I contemplated that this week, I was overwhelmed by it. Staggered. Thankful.

What about you? Isn't it awesome to know that our God's love and mercy and grace and compassion is never-ending? No matter what you've done in the past. No matter what you do in the future. His grace is enough for it all. Now that's something to be thankful for this holiday season! Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you are resting in the knowledge that God's grace is more than you'll ever need, and that you are sipping a cup of Starbucks while two of your three children are still asleep. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

The post office, the packages, and the puzzles

Sarah Beth was pretty excited about the hot cheetos--her favorite--from FBC Allen, Tx.
John John is doing the happy dance over gummi bears from the same package.
Hannah was very pleased with her Reese's peanut butter cup.


Let me be clear: I avoid the post office in Moscow. Have heard nightmare stories, want nothing to do with it, and send my husband to do that most onerous of chores. (Yeah, it's worse than the trash--we have a chute right outside our door.) But in order to pick up packages, one must go to the post office. And if you don't do it quickly, the bigger the chance that the package will just disappear. So, of course, when Marc left Wednesday night, not only did the snow come, but also the package slips. I came home yesterday to find two slips in our box. So Irina and I trudged the mile to the post office, turned in the slip, and brought back two boxes from the Matheny's. Today, I had another slip and no Irina. But I remembered what to do, so I trudged right back to the post office (I'd already pulled my little cart home from school with a big turkey in it, so what was a little more pulling?), filled out the form, showed my passport, and grabbed the package, this time from my parents. I put it in my cart and headed home. Inside the package were all kinds of fun things--drink mixes, pudding mixes, American medicine, t-shirts, weight watchers stuff--something for everyone. But the thing that was most important to me was the collection of wonder word puzzles.

Now, many of you may not know what the wonder word is. It is a puzzle, my favorite, in which you get rid of letters by finding words, and then a word is spelled with what is left over after you've found the words. I love it. It is in the Jacksonville paper every Sunday, and I never missed a puzzle when I lived there. And in the package was a pile of them that my mom had cut out of the paper. With all the other fun stuff in there, why was that my favorite? Because it was thoughtful. Every time my mom cut one of those out, she did it for me. Cathy Matheny filled our Christmas boxes with things for Christmas cookies, because she remembered that last year, I didn't have the stuff to decorate cookies. My sister's Sunday School class from First Baptist, Allen, Texas, filled a box with hot chocolate and hot cheetos, because those are my kids' favorites. It was thoughtful. They didn't just throw any old thing together and expect that we'd be thrilled (we would, by the way, because there is no bad box), but they consciously put things in that we either needed or that would be such a treat for us. They thought about us. And that's why packages are so important to my family.

Now, please know that this is not a guilt trip if you've never sent us--or anybody else--a package overseas. Trust me, I certainly never sent a package overseas to anyone. But when we get a package (or packages--we've gotten five packages in the last ten days!), we know that we are remembered. I can't tell you how important that is. It can be very isolating to be over here, away from the familiar, especially during the Christmas season. Knowing that we are being thought of and prayed for is such an encouragement. So if you have sent us a package, thank you so much. God has used you to minister to us in ways you cannot imagine.

Well, I'd better run. I'm defrosting my freezer, because I cannot get my turkey in there. I'm praying when it's defrosted, Ol' Tom will fit. If not, I'm going to have to hang him in a bag off the balcony window, and that's nothing but classy. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that someone else has let you know how special and important you are to them, and that your freezer will hold your Thanksgiving turkey. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Am I ever going to be done learning stuff?

John John is pretty excited with gummi bears that came in a package from First Baptist, Allen, Texas, this week.
Sarah Beth and her soccer coach, Miss Schnaidt, at the soccer banquet on Wednesday. Sarah Beth was given the "Southern Belle" Award--for adding encouragement and enthusiasm on the field, while wearing her pearls with her uniform. Ha!
Hannah and her friend, Krissy, at the soccer banquet. Hannah has become a fan of a Korean food called Kimbab, which is sushi without fish in it. I have to admit, it's pretty good stuff!

"Now My soul has become troubled; and what shall I say, "Father, save Me from this hour'? But for this purpose I came to this hour." John 11:27

You know how sometimes you are really, really busy--a big event or a visit from friends or a deadline at work or school--and you find yourself with just a few free hours right in the middle, and they are so precious you just want to roll around in them and glory in them? That's how I feel right now. We are in the middle of Bella Notte weekend, a big choir performance/dinner that the junior class is in charge of putting on, and I find myself with just a few hours free before I have to be back at school. Our situation is even busier, because each junior (there are only ten in the class) takes an event to be in charge of, and Sarah Beth is in charge of this one, which means I'm the parent in charge in the kitchen, and I'm singing in the performance for one song. YIKES!!!!! Add on top of that--Sarah Beth's friend, Kurt, is visiting from Germany, and we are really having a busy, busy, busy weekend. So I'm reveling in sleeping in until 8, drinking two cups of coffee, and listening to the Christmas music Marc is playing while he is cooking me breakfast. (What would I do without him? Honestly.)

I've been thinking a lot this week about change. If you read my blog regularly, you know that our company is reorganizing. (Watch Baptist Press this week--there are some big meetings coming up and announcements will be made.) Anyway, for most people, these changes aren't going to mean a lot to their every day lives, but for us, it could mean a big change in our future. Or not. Who knows? But because it's a possibility, it seems to be always on my mind. So I've been asking God to just show me--clearly--what He wants from our family. What He wants from me. And while a lot seems really foggy and unclear, I have been really convicted of a couple of things, and I thought I'd share them with you this morning.

First, it is really easy to get caught in the trap of comparison. Their life to our life. Their ministry to our ministry. Their children to our children. And you know what? It never works out for your good to compare. For one, you can't know what's going on in someone else's life. It's impossible. Haven't we all known those people we thought were leading perfect lives, only to have them announce their divorce, or a child's pregnancy, or some other crack in the armor? But it's also important to realize that God's intentions for each of us are individual. What He wants from me is according to how He has gifted me, how He has grown me, how He has created me. That's not the same as He's created, grown, and gifted you. And so our lives are not going to be the same, and our families are not going to be the same, and our ministries are not going to be the same. One of the really important things I'm learning is that just like it's wrong to judge someone else, it's also wrong to judge myself and my family by comparing us (always unfavorably) to others. It's also a breeding ground for discontent and bitterness. Yeah...I want no part of that. Marc and I were at school yesterday, working on Bella Notte, and Marc was helping one of Sarah Beth's friends with a video project. The young man said to Marc, "I bet your house is so much fun." I smiled, because what I have considered loud, noisy, and chaotic, other people see as fun. And you know what? My house is pretty fun. And never, ever boring.

The second thing I'm learning is harder. More and more and more, I'm figuring out that what God wants from us is not always easy. Some of the possible changes in our life would make life easier without a doubt. And I don't know that those changes aren't exactly what God wants from us. Maybe they are the direction in which we're headed. And by far the most difficult possibility, in terms of just life in general, is that we will continue to be in Russia. Russia is a hard place in a thousand different ways. So maybe we were here in order to make us grateful for someplace else. Who knows? But whenever I play over in my mind the sentence, 'We are going to leave Russia,' I get a weird feeling in my stomach. Yesterday, I was talking to Marc, and when I tried to say the words, I teared up. The truth is this--no matter how hard life here has been, no matter how much we've struggled, God has given us a passion to see Russians know Him. He has given us a passion for this country, a place we have come to love in spite of ourselves. The hardest choice is to stay. But my God, who loves me so much, is bigger than this place or my comfort or the hardships that life here brings. I'm learning to trust Him with everything--even the hard choices.

Well, my breakfast is done, and so I'm going to quit and eat. I am so grateful for a husband who will not only make me breakfast, but who is also willing to wear my frilly apron while he does it. I wish you could see him....what a hoot. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that God is teaching you big lessons, and that your husband made you bacon and eggs for breakfast. Blessings to you and yours!!

His,
Kellye

Not just hearing, but doing

But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. James 1:22

I know, I know...two blogs in just three days? Miraculous! Actually, I'm just taking a break from cleaning the house, so I thought I'd sit and blog for a minute or two. Marc comes home tonight, so I'm trying to really get the apartment straightened for him. Nothing is worse than coming home after a long trip and finding a big mess. Needless to say, we are anxiously awaiting his arrival.

This morning in my quiet time, I was reading from a little devotional magazine that I get from my sister when something struck me. I don't just mean I thought it was interesting. I mean there was a thunderclap from heaven and instant revelation for me. The passage was the familiar verse above, and the question that struck me was, "How would your life look different if you were a doer of the word and not just a hearer?" So I took out the four passages of scripture that have been especially important to me in the last months, and I made a list of how my life would look different if I was a doer of these passages.

II Timothy 4:5 But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

• If I were to do this instead of just hear this, there would likely be less whining from me. Just the other day I was complaining to an old friend that it was hard for me to "just" be a housewife and part-time teacher and watch Marc jet around the country, traveling and having adventures and doing things for God. But if I am a doer of this passage, then that means contentment with the ministry God has given me for right now. And that ministry is mostly being Marc's wife and Sarah Beth, Hannah and John John's mommy. While that may not be glamorous, it is the ministry God has given me for this moment, and I will never have a more important one than raising my children and loving my husband.

Psalm 31:7-8 I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness, because You have seen my affliction; You have known the troubles of my soul, and You have not given me over into the hand of the enemy; You have set my feet in a large place.

• If I am a doer of this passage, I have to stop whining about how hard it is to be in Russia, particularly in Moscow. Enough, already! People in Mali are living in huts, for heaven's sake. I have to walk everywhere, but that seems pretty small in comparison to the sacrifices others are making. And, according to this passage, this big place is where God has set my feet. I didn't come here because it sounded like a good time. I came here because my faithful God called and I had no choice but to answer. So enough whining!

Psalm 31:21 Blessed be the LORD, for He has made marvelous His lovingkindness to me in a besieged city.

• I need to pray for my city more. And I need to be grateful for the last year in this besieged city, where God has made Himself known to me more than in all the other years of my life together. There is no word to describe His actions toward me better than 'lovingkindness,' which gives the spell check a heart attack every time I write it. But it's perfect, because He has been lovingly kind to me, and what He longs for is for Russians to come to know His lovingkindness, too.

II Corinthians 10:5 We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ...

• My struggles are, quite literally, all in my mind. No matter how physically difficult living here has been, it cannot compare to the difficulty of struggling with a negative thought life. If I were to be a doer of the word, then I would see those struggles for what they are, taking every thought captive to the One who brought me here. This is, by far, the hardest thing for me. Whether it's my own self-doubt or the enemy's whispering in my ear, I have fought against a negative outlook almost from the moment I arrived in Russia. I have said to Hannah a hundred times, "You are listening to the wrong voices. What you are choosing to listen to is not the truth." Hmmmm...maybe I need to listen to (and heed) my own advice.

I just reread this, and it seems like kind of a downer. However, the good news is that every single day, God gives us a new chance to do it better. And I have to say that in the last year, I have worked harder at being the person He has called me to be than I ever have in my life before. And more and more and more, I am learning to be content with who I am right now, looking forward to the person He is turning me into, and being glad that the old me is not around any longer. Sometimes, though, it's good to look at the struggles head-on and acknowledge them. Better than that, it's great to know that each and every battle has already been won by my always-victorious God. Wherever you are in the world, I challenge you today to be a doer and not just a hearer of the word, and I pray that your husband is on his way home to you, too! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Little signs

I don't know if you can really see this, but it's a cross standing on top of a hill in Karlovy Vary, Czech Republic. I have been struck lately by little things God sends my way to let me know He is at work, and I stared at this one for a long time before snapping this picture.

It has been quite a while, my friends! I hope you didn't think something was wrong--just really, really busy. Right now, Marc is in Prague working on a video for CEE leadership (and having fun with friends, too....just a nice bonus for him!), and that means handling things by myself, which leaves little time for blogging (or anything else). In fact, even as I write this, I am having to hurry so that I can finish baking cookies for the juniors to sell at today's Fall Festival. So in a few minutes, John John and I will have to head to the metro and leave for school--Sarah Beth is already there, hanging signs and getting ready, and Hannah spent the night at a friend's house. Please forgive my absence, and know that if I disappear from the web for a while, it's probably that I'm running like a chicken with my head cut off.

Since we came home from Prague a few weeks ago, I have struggled with being here. Russia can be such a difficult place to live and minister. Russians are not naturally trusting people, and they can, by American standards, seem unfriendly and cold and difficult. But lately, it seems to me that God has put in my path small signs, things that are reminders to me that He is at work even when I am unaware of what He is doing. I thought it might encourage you to read about my small signs and think about how God is showing you what He's doing wherever you are today.

The cross on the hill

• Maybe it's not even a cross in my picture. Maybe it's an electric pole with a funny configuration. But for me, seeing it in a place where atheism reigns (Czech Republic has some of the lowest numbers of believers in the world) reminded me that just because a people has abandoned God, He has not abandoned them. There is no "God-forsaken" place. He is the God of the whole earth, not just of America. He was here long before I showed up on Russia's front doorstep, and He'll be here long after I'm gone. He isn't asking me to save anybody--He's got it covered. He's only asking me to be faithful to what He's called me to do.

The people in the metro

• Nothing is as frustrating on a hard day than to get on the metro and have people, as Sarah Beth would say, all up in your business. Russians (and Europeans in general, I'm guessing) have zero personal space. It doesn't exist here. There is no such thing as too close. Remember the old Sting song, "Don't stand so close to me"? I'm guessing it wasn't a hit here. Probably got no radio time. So the metro, while an excellent form of transportation to be sure, is not always a lot of fun. But on a daily basis, someone does something kind on the metro. For every time I have been shoved against the back wall by people pushing themselves into the compartment, someone has given up their seat for John. Or they've shoved another adult out of the way so that John isn't so squished. Or they've smiled at him and called him maladyetz, or fine boy. Russians are in love with children, more so than any place I've ever been. And when I am the most frustrated with them, I am always given some reminder of their finer qualities, too. And it makes it just the tiniest bit easier to be here.

The sign on the metro

• On Tuesday, I was running way behind by the time we got to the metro. We'd seen Marc off to Prague and then waited for a bus to take us to the metro. And waited. And waited. Finally, we realized that because it was a Russian holiday, there was little public transportation running, and we would have to make the walk to the metro. So we did. A mile and a half. So you can imagine that by the time we stepped onto the metro, none of us was in a particularly happy state of mind. And because we were later than usual, everything about the metro was irksome. Other people. My own children. Everything. So I'm standing there, looking up to try and get a fix on my anger and frustration, and a small ad that has been plastered to the wall catches my eye. It's clearly a picture of a fetus, much like you would see on any pro-life ad in America. But Russia is not a pro-life place. Look at the statistics on abortion in Russia--it's heart-rending. So I'm curious as to what this ad is. I start reading/translating. And what do you know? It IS a pro-life ad right there on the wall of the metro. Unbelievable. It even has a web address where you can go if you need help with an unexpected pregnancy. I have never, in the entire year we've been here, been so stunned by anything I've seen in the metro. I just stood there, staring at it. Suddenly, my anger and frustration with this place was a little easier to handle. God is working here. There are little signs, literally, everywhere. He is moving in this place. Maybe not the way I want Him to move or at the pace...but He is moving. Amazing.

I've learned so much about who God is in the last thirteen months in Russia. And He is all the things I've said before--faithful and just and true and trustworthy. But He is also way beyond me, beyond what I can even comprehend. And my sense of entitlement--that I came here, so He should let me in on what's going on as a sort of reward for that--is way out of place. He doesn't owe me anything, and I owe Him everything.

One of the verses that God has given me in the last year is Psalm 31:21--Blessed be the LORD, for He has made marvelous His lovingkindness to me in a besieged city. Sometimes He has made His lovingkindness obvious to me. But more often than not, it has been the little signs He has given--beautiful sunshine, gorgeous leaves on the tree outside my classroom, a smile from a babushka--that have meant the most to me. And so today, in the midst of my very busy life, I am stopping to be grateful for those little signs, and for a big, giant God who is so gracious to me. He often "thunders with His voice wondrously, doing great things which we cannot comprehend" (Job 37:5), and so I am thankful that He daily puts in my path some of the smaller things that I can comprehend. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you will see today the small things that God is using to comfort you and keep you going, and that your snickerdoodles are crisp at the edges and soft in the middle like they should be. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Raising up a forest

Sarah Beth and her friends Nadia and Sasha...I don't know why they are making moustaches out of their hair, but that seems to be what they're doing.

Do not fear, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east, and gather you from the west. I will say to the north, "Give them up!" and to the south, "Do not hold them back." Bring My sons from afar and My daughters from the ends of the earth, everyone who is called by My name, and whom I have created for My glory, whom I have formed, even whom I have made. Isaiah 43:5-7

I don't know about you, but I am having a fabulous morning. We have today off of school, and I have had a nice, long quiet time and two wonderful cups of coffee. Hannah just woke up, and John John is still snoring, which gives me a little bit of quiet to think about stuff. Nice! Oh, if only every morning could be this chaos-free!! Just to complete my idyllic scene--there is fresh bread baking, too. So add that to your picture of what my morning is like. Wonderful, huh?!

Yesterday was the end of daylight savings here in Russia, and the darkness has definitely descended. From now until the end of December, we will be cloaked in darkness for a good part of the day. I actually think it's around January 21st that it starts to get lighter sooner and stay light later, but I'm not sure about that date. Wonder why that sticks in my mind? Because I HATE the darkness. Hate it. I am a Southern girl, and I like my sunshine. So why did God call me to the darkest place on earth? I have asked myself that question a thousand times in the last year, and the answer I come up with time and again is that He is proving to me that nothing else matters but Him--not the darkness, not the chaos of five people in two bedrooms, not the beastly difficult Russian language--nothing. So I've spent some time this weekend thinking about all the ways in which He has proven absolutely enough for me over the last couple of years, and nothing stands out more to me than the absolute faithfulness He has shown with my children.

Picture this: you are thirteen years old. You have a great school, a great church, lots of friends, grandparents and aunts and uncles within a ten minute drive. You have a tremendously wonderful life. And then your parents drop the bomb: we think God is calling us to work overseas for Him. WHAT!!!!!?????!!!! You lock yourself in the bathroom and scream. You declare that you are NOT moving to another country. You pray that your parents get over this madness and come to their senses. But they don't. And little by little, you have to come to grips with the fact that your life is about to radically change, whether you want it to or not. That, my friends, is the tale of Sarah Beth. She had lots of opportunities to refuse to go to Russia. Our candidate consultant gave her a card and told her that if she wanted, at any point, to put a halt to this process, all she had to do was call him. But she didn't. Instead, she chose to live in Prague for six weeks and work for the company in order to get some overseas experience. She loved it, but it cost her many friends in our small town in Florida. And when I became absolutely enraged at the nasty notes they were leaving her on myspace (things like "go ahead and leave; nobody here cares, anyway."), she understood that they were from a small town and were doing the best they could to deal with her leaving. She rarely hears from anyone in the States, but she doesn't worry about it. She has totally embraced her friends in various parts of the world, kids living the same experience she is living. She has lots and lots of friends here--even more than she did back home. She has stretched herself to play soccer, to learn a new language, to take a photography class totally in Russian. And did she do all of that because she's just this tremendous person? No. She's a great girl, for sure, but none of that comes from her own strength. She has very ordinary teenage girl feelings and fears, to be sure. But she knows that God is faithful, and that whatever she has given up to be here and to follow Him, He has repaid in a thousand different ways.

On Thursday, Sarah Beth left on a 14-hour train ride to the Western Ural mountains to work with the Udmurts, an unreached people group who were the focus of the 2007 International Day of Prayer. She went to take pictures for Marc, because she is a tremendous photographer. But she ended up working in the villages with Udmurti women, ministering to them, loving them, and even taking a banya with them. (Don't ask. Just know it's not anything I would have ventured into at 16.) She even spent a night in a different village from her dad. (She was with another MK, and they stayed with Udmurti believers.) Now I'm sure that some of that scared her. It's a difficult thing at any age to venture where they don't speak your language at all and you have only a rudimentary knowledge of their language. (Although, in all fairness, her Russian teacher says she's a magnificent language student. It was her highest grade this quarter, and I'm pretty sure that my Russian teacher wouldn't have given me that high of a grade.) But when I talked to her last night as she was on the train headed west to Moscow, she was giddy with the experience. She loved every second. She's ready to go back tomorrow. The same girl who a couple of years ago locked herself in the bathroom and screamed is now ready to move to the village to work for Jesus. And I would love to tell you that it's because she has magnificent parents, but that's definitely not it. But she does have parents who trusted God to be faithful to them and to her. And He has been so faithful.

I'm sure at times it seems that I am bragging about my kids, and I certainly have a lot to be proud of in each of them, but that's not my intention. I want to encourage you with their stories. We are such ordinary jars of clay, but God has been so faithful to us in the ways He is growing up olive trees around our table. Sometimes, when I look at them in my own strength, I don't see olive saplings--I see weeds! But when I look at them through His eyes, and I trust His compassion and mercy and love for them--I am speechless as I see the people they are daily becoming. I don't know your situation. I don't know about your children. But I do know this--if He can work in the lives of our kids like He has, He can certainly be trusted with whatever your situation is. We aren't the super-saved. He doesn't love us more than you. I pray that today, you would trust Him with your kids and then see the gorgeous things He does with them. I promise it will take your breath away. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that He is raising up mighty trees for you, too, and that your husband and daughter are only a couple of hours away from the city. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

But who are you?

I just think this is a cute pic of John John. We'd just arrived back in Moscow, and he was happy to be on the ground again.

But also some of the Jewish exorcists, who went from place to place, attempted to name over those who had the evil spirits the name of the Lord Jesus, saying, "I adjure you by Jesus whom Paul preaches." Seven sons of one Sceva, a Jewish chief priest, were doing this. And the evil spirit answered and said to them, "I recognize Jesus, and I know about Paul, but who are you?" Acts 19: 13-15

Okay, so some days you get up, and you just know--it's going to be one of those days. This entire week has been one of those days. We had company stay with us a couple of days. We had language. We had fifty thousand things at school for the kids, meaning I had to do the four-mile walk twice-a-day for two days. But Thursday took the cake. On Thursday, I went to school, rushed home for language, had to figure out where the driver was who was trying to pick up our houseguests to get them to the airport, and get Marc and S.B. ready to leave for a trip to Udmurtia (in the western Ural mountains). As I was talking to a friend, the phone went dead. And then the internet went down, because it's attached to the phone. And we had to leave right then to get to school so Marc and Sarah Beth could leave and I could walk the two younger kids home. So I was without phone and internet for about twenty-four hours, which is no big deal, except that it's my main means of communication with the outside world, so I'm not thrilled about it being down and being isolated. Luckily, it was a pretty easy fix--they had placed our payment under another account, but Marc had kept the receipt, so they apologized and fixed it pretty quickly (at least by Russian standards). Marc and Sarah Beth survived (and even enjoyed) the 14-hour train ride to Udmurtia, and they are having a great time. Sarah Beth is working in one of the villages today and spending the night with another MK and some volunteer women. Marc is headed to the banya tonight with some men (don't ask--just imagine a sauna plus freezing cold water plus a branch of really hard sticks--it's an uniquely Russian experience). All-in-all, they are thoroughly enjoying ministering in rural Russia, which is, as my teacher always says, the REAL Russia. Moscow is Moscow, sort of its own country. But I read a statistic recently that said that 70% of the rest of Russia (outside the major cities) still doesn't have indoor plumbing. Isn't that amazing? Russia has many different faces, that's for sure. And for those of us who live in the mega-city, it's refreshing to go out to the village and realize that our perception of who Russians really are is decidedly one-sided.

I'm studying Ephesians right now, hence the passage above. I know, it's in Acts, but I'm reading in Acts about Paul's time in Ephesus. It's really an interesting study for me, because Ephesus was a huge commercial center, and they were especially known at that time for the temple of Artemis, which I believe was one of the 7 wonders of the ancient world. There are many parallels to Moscow. So it's really interesting and encouraging to me to study how Paul ministered in a mega-city of his day. And I really believe that a reality of this city is evil spirits. Now, I'm not really well-versed in this kind of stuff, so don't mark this down as coming from some theological scholar. But I can tell you this--when you land at an airport in Moscow, you can feel the spiritual oppression come on like a heavy, heavy coat. We have, as a family, struggled with this oppression for a year. We see it in our relationship with one another, with our struggles with sadness and "the blues," in disappointment after disappointment in ministry. I have no doubt whatsoever that we have been under attack again and again. So far, we've survived, but only by the grace of God. Only He can take anyone through the kind of spiritual warfare we've been through in the past year and bring them out on the other side intact. And I hope that no spirit would say, "I know about Jesus, and I've heard of Ed (or Buck or Andy or whomever), but who are you?" I don't want to just survive this time in my life. I want to thrive and be victorious. I want the evil spirits that I know inhabit this city to cower, because they know exactly who I am, who we are. I don't totally have a grasp on thriving here, but I know that nothing happens to me or to us without first being sifted through the fingers of the One who loves us most. And so I don't think thriving is impossible. Maybe we aren't there, yet, but it's not impossible. In the meantime, I'm content with just being content.

Well, I should run. I'm trying to get some things done today as a surprise for Marc when he comes back. Things like having everything clean and together, having the laundry done, and finally putting away all the spices that have been sitting in a box in the breakfast nook for...well, let's just say longer than they should have been sitting in that box. I just talked to Sarah Beth--they sound like they are thoroughly enjoying their time together in Udmurtia. Pray for their safe return, and for a great time of renewal for both of them. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that your name is on the enemy's ten-most-wanted list, and that you are looking forward to a day of getting things done. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

I want His best, not His easiest

Our family with the Lewis family...I don't know what they're all staring at on the computer, nor do I know where John and Laini were...probably building a ladder out of bed pillows somewhere.
John-John with his beloved friend, Laini. This is the closest relationship I have ever seen between a 6 and 7-year-old.
Marc and Larry. What great encouragement for each other these two are. Iron sharpens iron...
I'm not joking...this is what Moscow looked like when we arrived back in town. You can't see the deluge of rain, but trust me it's there. So we left sunny, beautiful Prague and returned home to this...God has a sense of humor, but it's one I don't get sometimes.

Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving; praying at the same time for us as well, that God will open up to us a door for the word, so that we may speak forth the mystery of Christ, for which I have also been imprisoned; that I may make it clear in the way I ought to speak. Colossians 4:2-4

I don't know about you, but I am enjoying a peaceful, wonderful Saturday morning. Hannah is talking to someone on Skype, John-John and Marc are still asleep, Sarah Beth is at the high school retreat for her school, and I have had a great time with God. I woke up to the smell of fresh-baked bread (I picked out my breadmaker yesterday--a birthday present from Marc) and am enjoying a great cup of coffee. Honestly, does it get better than this?

I cannot say it's been a great week since we arrived back from Prague. It hasn't. It's been hard and a little depressing, to be honest. It was hard to leave Prague. Very hard. And Marc and I have spent the last few days talking about all the changes that are possibly coming our way due to the restructuring at our company, how that will impact our future, where we would go if we could go anywhere...those sorts of things. And while I think it's good to dream and wish and think about the future, I also think it can be dangerous. Reality is that we are here, in Moscow, right now. Reality is that no matter what God has for us in the future, He has us here in the present. Marc had the great opportunity to meet with the head of the Czech Baptist Union and some Russian church planters who are coming to various parts of western Czech Republic to plant Russian-speaking churches. So is that God pulling us toward a different place but the same people group? Or is that God, testing us with the temptation of going someplace else, when here is so hard? Is He poking around in our deepest soul to help us figure out what we really want?

Czech Republic is a tempting place for us. It's one of the most beautiful places on earth, the people are friendly (by Eastern European standards, not American), it's an EU country, so it's easy to get in and out of...the list could go on for quite a while. But the biggest item on the list, by far, is that our dear friends, the Lewises, are there. I don't think we're sinful because we wish we were nearer to people we are close to, because I am convinced that God put our families together for His purposes. Larry and Melissa encourage us, keep us accountable, love us, have fun with us, and pray for us. The relationship between our two families is a gift from God without question. So hear me when I say that it's not the relationship that's hard, because it's not. But I've come to realize this week that the temptation for us is to compare our lives with others and to focus on what we don't have. And one of the things we don't have here, at least not yet, is another family that is so close to us that they're like family. Don't get me wrong--we have friends here, and we love them and are grateful for them. But our closer-than-friends friends are all in other places. And sometimes, not always, we are really lonely here. And lonely is so hard, isn't it?

Here is what God is teaching me right now, here in Moscow: His best and what is easy are not always, or even usually, the same thing. It would be easier for us to be somewhere else than Russia. Russia is just a hard place for us. It would be easier for us to be somewhere else, where we have close friends who could support us through the real problems of transition and culture shock. No field is easy, so please hear my heart when I say that I don't think any place is an easy place to minister, because the easy mission field doesn't exist. But to be somewhere where visa issues weren't a constant concern, where we have close, close friends, where friends and family could visit without doing paperwork for nearly a year...that sounds easier to me. So does that mean that God is going to release us from the call to Russia? so that our lives can be easier? I'm thinking the answer is a resounding "NO!" While the last year has been the hardest of my life, bar none, it has also been the year of biggest growth in my Christian life. I have learned more about God's faithfulness, His mercy, His compassion in the last year than I have in all the other 39 years combined. I know Him more. I know myself more. And while I am not satisfied that God's work in my life is finished, I am satisfied that He is at work. I don't always understand what He is doing, but I see His mighty hand clearly at work all around me. So what I am praying for every day is this: not His easiest path for me, but His best path for me. I know from experience that His best is far better than I can comprehend. And that's what I'm yearning for in my life--His best.

I must get moving. It's 10:00, and I have a thousand things to do before the day is over. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that your soul is aching for God's best, and that the Oklahoma Sooners have a better day today than they did last Saturday! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

Fulfilling the ministry

Hannah, Larissa, and Sarah Beth at the Grandhotel Pupp (yep, that's pronounced in the most unfortunate way) in Karlovy Vary, Czech Republic.

More Karlovy Vary. This was our favorite place, and my pictures definitely don't do it justice. You'll have to check Marc's blog for better pics. Just suffice to say--God's handiwork is evident everywhere you look in this gorgeous spa town on the German border.

But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. II Timothy 4:5

In a few hours, the taxi will be here to pick us up and take us to the Prague airport, where we will catch a plane and fly back to Moscow. We've had two weeks here, and we've thoroughly enjoyed every second of our time. We've seen old friends, beloved friends, friends who are more like family, and I am grateful to God for the chance to do that. I'm also grateful to work for a company that provides time for us to decompress, because that's exactly what we did here.

I won't lie...it's hard to go back. It's hard to understand what God is doing. Why couldn't we be called where our friends are called? I am not a girl who has to have a big group of friends, but it would be nice if they could be in the same country, at least. But that's not where we are right now. We are in Moscow, and that's where God has called us for this moment in our lives. Forever? I have no clue. Maybe yes, maybe no. But I know that I would rather be where God has called me than any other spot in the universe, no matter how beautiful or how many friends I have there. And so back to Moscow I go.

We have visited some of the most beautiful places in Europe while on this trip. Honestly, if you've never been to the Czech Republic, you must consider a trip here. Prague is gorgeous, and the cities around the country are equally, if not more, beautiful. But the best thing about being here, bar none, was the opportunity to be with our friends. We have encouraged and been encouraged, loved and been loved, cried for and been cried with, prayed for and been prayed with...everything a group as close as ours could have wanted. And I am thankful beyond words.

I must run and finish packing. We have some really neat things to take home and we came in way under budget--yea for us! Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you have time to decompress with people you adore, and that your flight today is on time. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

He is good beyond my imagination

John-John and his wonderful friend, Laini, taking a break as we did some sight-seeing in Prague.
Sarah Beth, Hannah, and some of their MK cousins, resting on a stone wall in Karlshtein castle, a beautiful place about 45 minutes outside of Prague.
Marc and his friends (I tend to call them "the boys"--as in "have you talked to the boys this week?) discuss deep, meaningful things. How grateful I am for these men.

How great is Your goodness, which You have stored up for those who fear You, which You have wrought for those who take refuge in You before the sons of men! You hide them in the secret place of Your presence from the conspiracies of man; You keep them secretly in a shelter from the strife of tongues. Blessed be the LORD, for He has made marvelous His lovingkindness to me in a besieged city. Psalm 37: 19-21

We have been in Prague for over a week now, and I realize I have not blogged at all. The Ebenezer conference we are here to attend was great, but busy, and I didn't have enough regular internet access to really even post a blog if I could have gotten one written. Plus, just to be transparent and honest, I was having way too much fun to sit at my computer and blog.

There is too much to say about Ebenezer, and I haven't really processed all of it, yet. It was a good conference in terms of what was discussed. We got some more information about the IMB reorganization that's coming, which looks more and more like it will impact our lives, if not this term then the next. I would ask you to pray for the company as those in charge restructure the way we approach the ever-changing world. I have to say that I like a lot of what I hear. As far as the conference, I think I'll just leave it at that. It was a good conference.

Of course, for us the best thing about our trip has been being with our friends from around the world. Unbelievable to me that we've been apart for a year, just because when we're together it seems like we're still all living within twenty feet of one another. And our time has been a reminder to me of how good God is to us, how He showers us with more than we deserve or could even think to ask for. Our friendships within this company are a perfect example.

Several years ago, we had a group of very close friends. We did things together, called each other on the phone, spent weekends socializing, even did some ministry together. I was in hog heaven, because we hadn't really had tons of friends like that over the years, and I just thought this was as good as life could possibly get. And then, suddenly, we didn't have those friends. Everyone else in the group remained in the group, but Marc and I were sort of shunned all of a sudden. And it wasn't one of those things where, over time, you kind of grow apart. I mean one day we were a part of the group, and the next day, we were told we were not welcome anymore. And we were told that it was not something we'd done, but an attitude of insincerity in our love for Christ. I was beyond shocked. I didn't know we could judge other people's sincerity for Christ. I felt like we were sincere. So without going into too much detail, we found ourselves incredibly alone. There were people who would not speak to us. How do you explain that to your kids? Not easily, I have to tell you. And while we healed (Marc way faster than I), in my mind I vowed that we simply would not ever allow that to happen again. Friendships, in my opinion, weren't worth the pain of rejection.

So we went through the process to be appointed, growing and stretching ourselves outside of the realm of what we thought possible, and the situation with that set of friends healed. I have to honestly tell you that I put my guard up and didn't want to be close to those people again, but the relationships were healed. I could walk into church and not bristle at their presence. I could be in Sunday School with them and not be distracted by the pain I felt. I could speak to them kindly and really care about what was happening in their lives. But I had not desire whatsoever for anything beyond that. And we certainly developed other relationships with other families that were really nice, and would probably have deepened had we stayed in the U.S.

Somewhere along the way, about the time we got to FPO, God just started to shower us with friends. I don't mean the kind of friends you go to lunch with and enjoy it and that's the end of that. I mean deep friendships, to the core friendships, the kind of friendships I'd thought I had before, but realize now aren't even comparable. The kind of friendships that encourage and build each other up with no concern whatsoever for protecting your heart. The kind of friendships that ask how you're doing and then sit to listen and pray over the answer. The kind of friendships where you love each other's children with abandon, where in a group you know someone has your children, because you have someone else's. The kind of friendships that my heart longed for, but my mind resisted. The thing about these friendships, though, is that they are such a gift from God that it's impossible to resist them. How can anyone resist people who love them as much as these people love us? Impossible.

We were lying in the dark one night (probably not sleeping because of the beds...Holiday Inn can't open a hotel or two in Europe?), and Marc commented on these friendships we have. And his remark was absolutely perfect. He said they were proof that God is good beyond what we can imagine. We didn't even really want friendships, hoping to keep ourselves completely protected from the pain they can cause. But God knew that the deepest desires of our hearts were wrapped around connection, and He provided all we thought we'd lost with more heaped on top. He provided a way for us to survive on the field through these people we love. He provided encouragement and laughter and love and accountability...blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside. And for me, personally, to watch Marc be so close to other men again, to listen to him with people he really considers his brothers and it's not just a word or a title or a boastful thing but a relationship...I don't have the words for how grateful I am to the giver of all good things for His faithfulness, His goodness that is beyond my capability for words.

Never have I felt I did a poorer job of describing what's on my heart than in this post. However, I felt like I had to write and remind you (and myself) of how God blesses us beyond what we even hope for or ask for from Him. I am so grateful to Him for the ways in which He has grown and stretched me through a terrible situation, one that I will always believe was not of His making, but that He used to turn us into the people we are today. I'm not the same person I was when that group decided we couldn't be a part of them anymore. And you know what? I'm glad I'm not that person anymore. I haven't finished the race, as Paul termed it, but I do think I'm way further down the road than I was in those years of my life. Anyway, wherever you are in the world, I pray that God has showered you with blessings beyond what you could even imagine, and that you have a good pair of tennis shoes for walking on the cobblestones. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye