Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12
I think I've mentioned before that I am studying Philippians. What a pleasure it is to get up every morning and just read Paul's writing. What an encouragement to me. I especially like this verse, because when I think of God's call upon my life, I often have the image in my mind that I have been "laid hold of" by Christ, with Him grabbing my hand to direct me down a road I did not foresee. I definitely can understand Paul's imagery here. One of my favorite old hymns (I come to appreciate more and more the sound theology contained in those precious songs from the Sundays of my childhood) is "Higher Ground." Remember the words? I'm pressing on the upward way/new heights I'm gaining every day/still praying as I'm onward bound/Lord, place my feet on higher ground. Yep, I'm with Paul...I'm definitely not there, but I'll just keep pressing on, knowing that my Savior has something special for which He laid hold of me.
This was a fun week for us. Besides the Super Bowl party and the election returns sleepover, we received a fun package from Miss Spicy's Sunday School class at Westminster Baptist Church in Westminster, Maryland, Marc's home church and one of our partner churches. Miss Spicy's class was where Hannah went to Sunday School when we were there this summer, and to say the very least, Miss Spicy made an impression. They brought stuff together and sent it to us, and it was so much fun. There were several really cool things--books, cars for John, Uno cards--but the big hit was Orville Redenbacher popcorn, which we can't get here. It's so wonderful to know that people remember you, and for Hannah, who has struggled so much here, it was just an added boost to her day. We also received cards from another member of WBC, valentines for the kids, which were just so nice. And we received a letter from a member of FBC Allen, TX, another of our partner churches! It was so exciting. You can't imagine how much we get our hopes up when we check the mailbox. It's usually empty, so when there's something there...it's big-time for us.
Due to continuing visa issues in Russia, our friends Doyle and Karen are leaving for Krakow, Poland, tomorrow morning. They were very kind and gave us two huge bags full of vhs video tapes, at least half of which are The Andy Griffith Show. I cannot tell you how fun it has been to watch those shows. Remember when television wasn't objectionable? When you didn't have to cover your child's eyes because something awful had just come on the screen? Living in Russia is a little that way, because we've had the chance to really be choosy about what our kids watch, and they have really gotten into the old tv shows. John loves The Lone Ranger, Hannah enjoys The Adventures of Ozzy and Harriet, and Sarah Beth's hands down favorite is Gilligan's Island. I was washing dishes last night and heard peals of laughter from the kids' room. Now, the kitchen is at the opposite end of the apartment, so for me to hear it, they were really laughing. When I went in to investigate, I found Han and SB laughing at Andy Griffith and the Darlings, where Mr. Darling decides he is going to "woo" Aunt Bea. Some things are just timeless.
Well, I'd better run. I need to wake some folks up here pretty soon, and I haven't started breakfast, yet. Pray for us today--we are visiting a new church. Would you covenant to pray with us about finding a church home here? We really need a place to belong, and that isn't easy when you aren't fluent in the language. We made a list last week of what we were looking for in a church, and this seems to fit the bill. It will take us about an hour to get there, but if it's where God has a home for us, it's well worth it. Wherever you are in the world, I hope you are looking forward to a wonderful day in God's house, and that somewhere in your home is a copy of some Andy Griffith shows. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
The tunnel of chaos
Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! "Who has known the mind of the LORD? or who has been His counselor?" "Who has ever given to God that God should repay him?" For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen. Romans 12:33-36
I honestly only have a couple of minutes before I have to get in the shower and get going to school with John and Han, but I wanted to touch base, realizing it has been a while since I checked in with you. It has been a wild week--Sunday night/Monday morning, we hosted a Super Bowl party at our house that began at 2 a.m., and Tuesday night, my friend Frances and I had a sleepover where we watched Super Tuesday returns. (How good is our God, that He gave me a friend who loves politics like I do?) I am certainly feeling all of my 40 years right now, because my days of all-nighters are definitely behind me.
I was looking over some stuff we did at FPO, and I got a little tickled. I was looking at the handout from our session over the mourning process in transition to the field. Just so my "mission friends" know, we have officially started poking our heads out of the tunnel of chaos. Yea!!! I just had to grin as I remembered that session. They asked if anyone had left a beloved pet behind, and as I raised my hand, I broke into sobs. My friend Vicki and I were basketcases during the small group time, making our leader (and wonderful friend) Larry very, very uncomfortable. It was very early in FPO, and I think it was the first time Larry and I saw starkly the differences in our personalities. Instead of making us not like each other, I'm pretty sure it just made us a really good match. Larry swiftly became one of Marc's closest friends, and we talk to them often. I just couldn't help laughing at the memory of Vicki and I crying our way through small group.
Well, I really have to run. I haven't even made muffins this morning yet, so I have to get a lot done before I can get out of here. One cute John story before I go. On Tuesday, I had such a bad headache that I brought John home after his lesson, and Marc came to school to pick up Hannah. On the way to the metro, John held tightly to my hand the whole time. I didn't think much about that until he said, "Mommy, you know what I like to hold your hand?" "Why, John?" I replied. "It just helps me remember that I'm not alone." Okay, I could make a whole metaphor about our relationship to God, etc., etc., but I'll just be a mommy instead. In the words of my friend, Tara, "That's sweet, ain't it?" Wherever you are in the world, I hope your muffins are already baking, you're not running behind like I am, and you have someone to hold your hand and remind you that you are not alone. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
I honestly only have a couple of minutes before I have to get in the shower and get going to school with John and Han, but I wanted to touch base, realizing it has been a while since I checked in with you. It has been a wild week--Sunday night/Monday morning, we hosted a Super Bowl party at our house that began at 2 a.m., and Tuesday night, my friend Frances and I had a sleepover where we watched Super Tuesday returns. (How good is our God, that He gave me a friend who loves politics like I do?) I am certainly feeling all of my 40 years right now, because my days of all-nighters are definitely behind me.
I was looking over some stuff we did at FPO, and I got a little tickled. I was looking at the handout from our session over the mourning process in transition to the field. Just so my "mission friends" know, we have officially started poking our heads out of the tunnel of chaos. Yea!!! I just had to grin as I remembered that session. They asked if anyone had left a beloved pet behind, and as I raised my hand, I broke into sobs. My friend Vicki and I were basketcases during the small group time, making our leader (and wonderful friend) Larry very, very uncomfortable. It was very early in FPO, and I think it was the first time Larry and I saw starkly the differences in our personalities. Instead of making us not like each other, I'm pretty sure it just made us a really good match. Larry swiftly became one of Marc's closest friends, and we talk to them often. I just couldn't help laughing at the memory of Vicki and I crying our way through small group.
Well, I really have to run. I haven't even made muffins this morning yet, so I have to get a lot done before I can get out of here. One cute John story before I go. On Tuesday, I had such a bad headache that I brought John home after his lesson, and Marc came to school to pick up Hannah. On the way to the metro, John held tightly to my hand the whole time. I didn't think much about that until he said, "Mommy, you know what I like to hold your hand?" "Why, John?" I replied. "It just helps me remember that I'm not alone." Okay, I could make a whole metaphor about our relationship to God, etc., etc., but I'll just be a mommy instead. In the words of my friend, Tara, "That's sweet, ain't it?" Wherever you are in the world, I hope your muffins are already baking, you're not running behind like I am, and you have someone to hold your hand and remind you that you are not alone. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
Sunday, February 3, 2008
If I could see
If I could see what You see/When You look at me/I would begin to understand/Who I really am/I would know how deep/Your love is for me/If I could see what You see. "If I could see what you see"--Paul Marino and Jeremy Johnson
One of the loveliest things I received when our friends Cathy and Tim moved to Prague for six months was a cd tied to the study The Patriarchs by Beth Moore. Of course, the album features Travis Cottrell, one of my favorites, and so I immediately began listening to the music. It has many, many songs that are so meaningful to me, but this one in particular struck me this morning as I was making piles of blinis for breakfast. (blinis are the only Russian food I have mastered--kind of like a very, very thin crepe that's filled with all kinds of stuff...we like them sweet, but Russians are more likely to fill them with fish or caviar or ham and cheese.) One of the things I have struggled with here in Russia is purpose...what am I doing here? I have never doubted God's call on my life or the life of our family. But I have struggled to understand it. Why make us move from Middleburg, where life was so easy in comparison? Why do we have to be the ones who struggle? A call from God is something that cannot be ignored successfully for very long, so we almost feel like we didn't have a choice in coming here--though, of course, we did. But I can't imagine ignoring God on this matter. So why the move to Russia?
Now, I'd love to say that I have all the answers to those questions, but I'd be lying--and I'm a missionary, so I'm not allowed to lie. :o) But the thing I have come to, and that this song reminds me of, is that I don't have to know the reason. God is under no obligation to let me in on what He's doing in my life. What I must do, however, is know that He knows what He's doing. I am often baffled by His choice of my family for this work. Surely there are better vessels He could use. But His word reminds me again and again and again that it's not the strong He chooses--but the weak, because His strength is made perfect in my weakness. It isn't the wise He chooses, nor the perfect, nor the ones who have it all together all the time. He chooses those of us through whom He can shine even more clearly, because we're so weak that we couldn't do this any other way. When He looks at me (and you!), He sees something more than I see. He sees us as we could be. He sees us as He designed us to be. And so more and more, my prayer is that He will just make me into the person He created me to be. And maybe, just maybe, I could get a brief glimpse of who that person is. Just a little peek!!!
Well, the big news of our week is that we have finished full-time language school. Now, before you rejoice too much with us, it doesn't really mean much in terms of our language classes--we are off on Mondays from now on. However, the big, big thing this means for us is that we are allowed to do ministry with our team! That means Monday evening team meetings, the English camp at the end of February, and an event at the end of May with the University of Mobile drum corps. We are so excited about this! We really believe it will make an immense difference to us in how we feel about being here.
Our other big news is that we are having about fifteen people here tonight for a Super Bowl party. I'm not sure I've mentioned this, but we have something called a Slingbox, which is attached to my sister's cable in Dallas, and it allows us to watch American tv. So at one tomorrow morning, a whole host of folks are coming in, bringing food, and we're going to watch the game. It should be fun. We definitely have a more active social life here than we did in the states.
Well, I'd better run. I'm making meatballs (I bought them at IKEA, Kay, so no worries about them turning out) and a chocolate cake, and I probably need to get moving on that. If you know Marc, you know that he is making chili even as I write this, and the entire floor smells delicious as soon as you step off the lift. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you take time today to think about how God sees you, and that wherever you watch the game, someone is bringing bean dip (we are really excited about the bean dip)! Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
One of the loveliest things I received when our friends Cathy and Tim moved to Prague for six months was a cd tied to the study The Patriarchs by Beth Moore. Of course, the album features Travis Cottrell, one of my favorites, and so I immediately began listening to the music. It has many, many songs that are so meaningful to me, but this one in particular struck me this morning as I was making piles of blinis for breakfast. (blinis are the only Russian food I have mastered--kind of like a very, very thin crepe that's filled with all kinds of stuff...we like them sweet, but Russians are more likely to fill them with fish or caviar or ham and cheese.) One of the things I have struggled with here in Russia is purpose...what am I doing here? I have never doubted God's call on my life or the life of our family. But I have struggled to understand it. Why make us move from Middleburg, where life was so easy in comparison? Why do we have to be the ones who struggle? A call from God is something that cannot be ignored successfully for very long, so we almost feel like we didn't have a choice in coming here--though, of course, we did. But I can't imagine ignoring God on this matter. So why the move to Russia?
Now, I'd love to say that I have all the answers to those questions, but I'd be lying--and I'm a missionary, so I'm not allowed to lie. :o) But the thing I have come to, and that this song reminds me of, is that I don't have to know the reason. God is under no obligation to let me in on what He's doing in my life. What I must do, however, is know that He knows what He's doing. I am often baffled by His choice of my family for this work. Surely there are better vessels He could use. But His word reminds me again and again and again that it's not the strong He chooses--but the weak, because His strength is made perfect in my weakness. It isn't the wise He chooses, nor the perfect, nor the ones who have it all together all the time. He chooses those of us through whom He can shine even more clearly, because we're so weak that we couldn't do this any other way. When He looks at me (and you!), He sees something more than I see. He sees us as we could be. He sees us as He designed us to be. And so more and more, my prayer is that He will just make me into the person He created me to be. And maybe, just maybe, I could get a brief glimpse of who that person is. Just a little peek!!!
Well, the big news of our week is that we have finished full-time language school. Now, before you rejoice too much with us, it doesn't really mean much in terms of our language classes--we are off on Mondays from now on. However, the big, big thing this means for us is that we are allowed to do ministry with our team! That means Monday evening team meetings, the English camp at the end of February, and an event at the end of May with the University of Mobile drum corps. We are so excited about this! We really believe it will make an immense difference to us in how we feel about being here.
Our other big news is that we are having about fifteen people here tonight for a Super Bowl party. I'm not sure I've mentioned this, but we have something called a Slingbox, which is attached to my sister's cable in Dallas, and it allows us to watch American tv. So at one tomorrow morning, a whole host of folks are coming in, bringing food, and we're going to watch the game. It should be fun. We definitely have a more active social life here than we did in the states.
Well, I'd better run. I'm making meatballs (I bought them at IKEA, Kay, so no worries about them turning out) and a chocolate cake, and I probably need to get moving on that. If you know Marc, you know that he is making chili even as I write this, and the entire floor smells delicious as soon as you step off the lift. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you take time today to think about how God sees you, and that wherever you watch the game, someone is bringing bean dip (we are really excited about the bean dip)! Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
When God works...He seriously works
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:1-3
I only have a minute or two to get this posted, because it's a "go to school" day, and I have to get the kids moving. However, I have to tell you this story. I almost burned my muffins in my eagerness to tell you this. (and that's not a euphemism...I actually have muffins in the oven.)
So, the last two weeks have been really awful. Discouraging in a thousand ways, bad language lessons, bad homeschool days, bad church days...just bad everything days. When I sent out our prayer letter to partner churches on Sunday, I have to admit that even as I was writing it, I felt so down I just couldn't breathe. Why on earth had God brought us to this place? To be unhappy? To suffer? For our children to suffer? That was my frame of mind. I immediately received an email from my sister's Sunday School teacher (don't get me started about how in love with this Sunday School class we are...they just love us even though they've never met us), saying this fit perfectly in the class he was teaching today. The scripture, he pointed out, was Hebrews 12:1-3. Now, there's a whole wall at the International Learning Center devoted to Hebrews 12:1-3 and the great cloud of witnesses who have gone before us onto the field. So, I didn't even have to look it up. I felt a little encouraged.
The next morning, I checked my email. The missions pastor at another partner church had responded with a very encouraging note. In it, he said that our situation just reminded him of...you guessed it...Hebrews 12:1-3. I felt a little more encouraged (and I started to grin, anticipating what was coming next).
After I checked my email, it was time for my quiet time. I opened up to the passage I was to read that day, and what did I find? You know before I tell you...Hebrews 12:1-3!!! Don't you love it when God does that? I do...it just makes my day.
And you know what? It's been a better week. A better frame of mind, better behavior from our kids, more fun at home, a little bit better week of language lessons...just better. Did our circumstances change? Not really. But our attitudes changed, because the LORD, who has "made marvelous His lovingkindness to me in a besieged city" (Psalm 31:21) is still at work here. He's definitely at work in us. Maybe we just needed a little reminder.
How about you? Do you ever need a reminder that in your every day circumstances the God of Everything is at work, working to mold you and shape you into who He knows you to be? I pray that this will serve as a reminder to you of His love and His faithfulness today. And I pray that when you become discouraged, you will listen to the voices of our great cloud of witnesses, and be encouraged to run with endurance your race lovingly planned by your Father. Blessings to you and yours!!
His,
Kellye
I only have a minute or two to get this posted, because it's a "go to school" day, and I have to get the kids moving. However, I have to tell you this story. I almost burned my muffins in my eagerness to tell you this. (and that's not a euphemism...I actually have muffins in the oven.)
So, the last two weeks have been really awful. Discouraging in a thousand ways, bad language lessons, bad homeschool days, bad church days...just bad everything days. When I sent out our prayer letter to partner churches on Sunday, I have to admit that even as I was writing it, I felt so down I just couldn't breathe. Why on earth had God brought us to this place? To be unhappy? To suffer? For our children to suffer? That was my frame of mind. I immediately received an email from my sister's Sunday School teacher (don't get me started about how in love with this Sunday School class we are...they just love us even though they've never met us), saying this fit perfectly in the class he was teaching today. The scripture, he pointed out, was Hebrews 12:1-3. Now, there's a whole wall at the International Learning Center devoted to Hebrews 12:1-3 and the great cloud of witnesses who have gone before us onto the field. So, I didn't even have to look it up. I felt a little encouraged.
The next morning, I checked my email. The missions pastor at another partner church had responded with a very encouraging note. In it, he said that our situation just reminded him of...you guessed it...Hebrews 12:1-3. I felt a little more encouraged (and I started to grin, anticipating what was coming next).
After I checked my email, it was time for my quiet time. I opened up to the passage I was to read that day, and what did I find? You know before I tell you...Hebrews 12:1-3!!! Don't you love it when God does that? I do...it just makes my day.
And you know what? It's been a better week. A better frame of mind, better behavior from our kids, more fun at home, a little bit better week of language lessons...just better. Did our circumstances change? Not really. But our attitudes changed, because the LORD, who has "made marvelous His lovingkindness to me in a besieged city" (Psalm 31:21) is still at work here. He's definitely at work in us. Maybe we just needed a little reminder.
How about you? Do you ever need a reminder that in your every day circumstances the God of Everything is at work, working to mold you and shape you into who He knows you to be? I pray that this will serve as a reminder to you of His love and His faithfulness today. And I pray that when you become discouraged, you will listen to the voices of our great cloud of witnesses, and be encouraged to run with endurance your race lovingly planned by your Father. Blessings to you and yours!!
His,
Kellye
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Loving the Psalms
Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul. Psalm 143:8
I love the Psalms. I love them as a reader of great literature, for they are some of the most moving, intricately woven poems on earth. But I mostly love them as a person of faith. No matter where I am, no matter what I'm feeling, no matter my situation--there is a Psalm to fit every occasion. I just love them. I especially love this verse, for as I look out my kitchen window as I write this, I can see beautiful streaks of pink as the morning dawns. I am lifting up my soul, and the great beauty around me reminds me to Whom I am lifting my soul.
In my last post, I told you about our night with our "girls"--Joy, Tiffany, and Angie--who you see above. What wonderful fun they are, but how committed to the cause of Christ here in Russia. Imagine graduating from college and then deciding to go someplace completely foreign to you to work for almost no pay and learn a very hard language--all worlds away from the easier life you could have chosen. I'm not sure I could have done it. I have Marc and the kids--we are in this together. I love the bravery of these girls.
I don't have much time this morning, for Irina will arrive soon to grill me on dates. Honestly...I could grow gray hairs in the length of time it takes to say, "2007". Imagine saying "two thousand and seventh year," but with lots and lots and lots more syllables. It's awful. I feel stupid doing it. But as usual, God is teaching me something even through this. I don't have to be the smartest person in the room. I talk like a two-year-old...and Russians are actually okay with that, since they know how hard their language is. Is it possible that God is making a way for me to connect with people through my own lack of knowledge? Hmmm...He's used stranger things!
Well, I'd better run. Many of you emailed me about the map at the bottom of the page. Yep...it's pretty cool. And also really humbling. I have no clue why you'd want to read the ramblings of my brain, but I am thankful that you do. You minister to me in every email, in every comment, in every encouragement. And for those of you who are our mission friends around the world--your love and encouragement is often what keeps me going. I am a member of a pretty big family, and I'm honored that you would want to read what I have to say. Wherever you are in the world, I hope that your day is dawning with beautiful pink streaks, and that it doesn't take you five minutes to say the year. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
Sunday, January 27, 2008
100 posts...from Middleburg to Moscow
But as for me, I would seek God, and I would place my cause before God; who does great and unsearchable things, wonders without number. Job 5:8-9
This is my 100th post on this blog, and I took some time last night to reread some things I had written in the past 8 months since I began blogging. Through leaving my job, my home, my parents, my church, my FPO family in Richmond, and finally, my country, this blog has been a way for me to work out how I feel and how I handle the things that go on around me. Sometimes, it's a way for me to vent. But more often than not, it's a reason for me to look for the good in what is going on around us.
Our lives here are difficult. It is not easy to be an international missionary. Eventually, it will be easier, but I know from talking to my friends here that it will never be easy. Life in the states was very comfortable for us. We had a church we loved, jobs that were fulfilling, family nearby. Who could ask for anything more? But when God sought us for this job, He really placed in us a hunger for something else. Yes, we still loved Middleburg and all the things that went with Middleburg, but there was a hunger for a different life, a different place. I described it once as being homesick for a place I'd never been. And now, here we are. God has given us the desires of our heart. And though I sometimes wonder if I couldn't have desired something easier than this in my heart, I am thankful for the chance to be here.
There are things about here that are great. One of those things is the relationships we are making on the field and have made with other missionaries around the world. If you look at the bottom of this post, you will see a cluster map that shows where people are reading my blog around the world. We have friends on just about every continent. Many of our "mission friends" are like our family to us. We talk to them often, and we hold each other up in prayer. John and Hannah have a prayer wall next to their bunk beds, and they choose which family they're going to pray over that night. We don't just say, "Lord, bless the missionaries." My children have learned the importance of praying specific things for specific people in specific places. I think that's a pretty wonderful thing that's come of our missions experiences.
It's also a great thing to be able to see God at work. I sent a prayer letter to our partner churches yesterday that was, frankly, the cry of my desperate heart for encouragement. It turned out that the Sunday School lesson in one class was on exactly what my prayer letter was talking about. If that's not a God thing...I guess I don't know what is. We are able to see what God is doing firsthand in a really big way here. God was at work in our lives in Middleburg, but we didn't have to rely on Him there like we rely on Him here. I'm grateful for the chance to do that.
Well, I must run and make breakfast before Irina arrives. I'm attaching two videos. One is of the downpour of snow we had on Saturday, and the other is of John and Tiffany doing happy feet. We had three of our journeymen over Saturday night for fajitas, and we just had a wonderful, fabulous time. How grateful I am for young men and women who are obedient to God and give up part of their lives to serve Him in a foreign land. I'm even more grateful that my children have these Godly role models to love. I love this video so much--especially because Marc and Joy, Tiffany's best friend and roommate, just continue talking and barely notice the dancing going on in front of them. I'm pretty sure there's a lot of dancing in Tiffany's life, so it's no new thing to Joy. I hope wherever you are in the world, you have a chance to think back over your last few months, too, and praise the God of everything for the way He's working in your life. And I hope you have happy feet in your house, too! Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
I don't know why the video of John and Tiff is sideways. I'll try to fix that at some point!
This is my 100th post on this blog, and I took some time last night to reread some things I had written in the past 8 months since I began blogging. Through leaving my job, my home, my parents, my church, my FPO family in Richmond, and finally, my country, this blog has been a way for me to work out how I feel and how I handle the things that go on around me. Sometimes, it's a way for me to vent. But more often than not, it's a reason for me to look for the good in what is going on around us.
Our lives here are difficult. It is not easy to be an international missionary. Eventually, it will be easier, but I know from talking to my friends here that it will never be easy. Life in the states was very comfortable for us. We had a church we loved, jobs that were fulfilling, family nearby. Who could ask for anything more? But when God sought us for this job, He really placed in us a hunger for something else. Yes, we still loved Middleburg and all the things that went with Middleburg, but there was a hunger for a different life, a different place. I described it once as being homesick for a place I'd never been. And now, here we are. God has given us the desires of our heart. And though I sometimes wonder if I couldn't have desired something easier than this in my heart, I am thankful for the chance to be here.
There are things about here that are great. One of those things is the relationships we are making on the field and have made with other missionaries around the world. If you look at the bottom of this post, you will see a cluster map that shows where people are reading my blog around the world. We have friends on just about every continent. Many of our "mission friends" are like our family to us. We talk to them often, and we hold each other up in prayer. John and Hannah have a prayer wall next to their bunk beds, and they choose which family they're going to pray over that night. We don't just say, "Lord, bless the missionaries." My children have learned the importance of praying specific things for specific people in specific places. I think that's a pretty wonderful thing that's come of our missions experiences.
It's also a great thing to be able to see God at work. I sent a prayer letter to our partner churches yesterday that was, frankly, the cry of my desperate heart for encouragement. It turned out that the Sunday School lesson in one class was on exactly what my prayer letter was talking about. If that's not a God thing...I guess I don't know what is. We are able to see what God is doing firsthand in a really big way here. God was at work in our lives in Middleburg, but we didn't have to rely on Him there like we rely on Him here. I'm grateful for the chance to do that.
Well, I must run and make breakfast before Irina arrives. I'm attaching two videos. One is of the downpour of snow we had on Saturday, and the other is of John and Tiffany doing happy feet. We had three of our journeymen over Saturday night for fajitas, and we just had a wonderful, fabulous time. How grateful I am for young men and women who are obedient to God and give up part of their lives to serve Him in a foreign land. I'm even more grateful that my children have these Godly role models to love. I love this video so much--especially because Marc and Joy, Tiffany's best friend and roommate, just continue talking and barely notice the dancing going on in front of them. I'm pretty sure there's a lot of dancing in Tiffany's life, so it's no new thing to Joy. I hope wherever you are in the world, you have a chance to think back over your last few months, too, and praise the God of everything for the way He's working in your life. And I hope you have happy feet in your house, too! Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
I don't know why the video of John and Tiff is sideways. I'll try to fix that at some point!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Taking lessons from the first missionary
What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed; and in this I rejoice. Philippians 1:18
I'm not going to lie. It's been a rough week. I have struggled with feeling down and blue, with worry, which has kept me up at night and gotten me out of bed at 4:30 most mornings this week, with sadness over the loss of our friends Cathy and Tim to another field. It has not been a fun week. On top of struggling with my feelings, I've struggled in my language lessons. I am finally coming to grips with the fact that I cannot be super-language student and super-homeschool mom at the same time. If you know me, you know that to do anything and not do it well drives me nuts, so you can imagine how that has impacted my mood all week. In short, I'm pretty sure those verses in Proverbs about it being better to live in the corner of a roof than in a house with a contentious wife...Marc's probably thinking those were addressed directly to him.
It's one of the reasons I haven't written much lately. I want to be encouraging and uplifting to those who read this, and I want to seem like I have it all together. But I'm choosing transparency instead, knowing that if you really know me and know how I'm doing, it might still be an encouragement to you as you work through whatever "stuff" you have going on where you are. Plus, I'm hoping it'll help you pray for me better. Maybe you should pray for Marc and the kids, since they're the ones suffering the most!
When I did my Bible study this morning (because I'm a rule-follower, and even when I don't feel like it, I have a quiet time and Bible study time...one of the few times the following rules compulsion works out well for me), something caught my eye. I've probably read Philippians a hundred times in my life, so I worried that a study of it wouldn't mean much to me. Oh, how wrong I was! When I came upon this verse--18--I was kind of stunned. Paul was saying that even though some people were preaching the gospel out of jealousy and in order to hurt him while he was imprisoned, he didn't care--as long as the gospel was being preached. I looked again at the chapter--rejoice, rejoice, rejoice--over and over again, Paul chooses to rejoice in all circumstances, because they are impacting people with the gospel. Hmmm...I'm here to impact the spread of the gospel. Hmmm...maybe God has a message for me in these verses? As Hannah Montana would say, You think?
My very wise friend, Cathy, reminded me again that being on the mission field is not only about what you are doing in God's name, but what He is doing in your life. He is stripping me of needing to be great at everything. He is stripping me of wanting to be "successful" in the world's eyes. He is stripping me of the need to appear to have it all together. Sometimes, I wonder what will be left when He is through stripping me of all these things that have been me for so long. But I am confident of this--He is faithful. His plan for me is immensely better than my plan for me. He loves me more than I am even capable of understanding. He holds me in the palm of His hand, and He hears me when I call out to Him. He is my strong tower, my shelter, my refuge in a city without hope. All I have to do is run to Him, and I will be saved. But this week, I've been content to be shrouded by concerns and worries and feelings and emotions that have kept me from Him. And so I've floundered a little. Thankfully, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. Otherwise, I'd be in big, big trouble.
So, that's where I am over on this side of the pond. Choosing to rejoice, choosing to be content, choosing to allow Him to make a way for me here. But I do wonder one thing...while He's stripping me of all this other stuff, couldn't He strip me of the extra pounds I picked up over Christmas? Wherever you are, I hope you're choosing to be content in the knowledge of the One who loves you more than anything. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
I'm not going to lie. It's been a rough week. I have struggled with feeling down and blue, with worry, which has kept me up at night and gotten me out of bed at 4:30 most mornings this week, with sadness over the loss of our friends Cathy and Tim to another field. It has not been a fun week. On top of struggling with my feelings, I've struggled in my language lessons. I am finally coming to grips with the fact that I cannot be super-language student and super-homeschool mom at the same time. If you know me, you know that to do anything and not do it well drives me nuts, so you can imagine how that has impacted my mood all week. In short, I'm pretty sure those verses in Proverbs about it being better to live in the corner of a roof than in a house with a contentious wife...Marc's probably thinking those were addressed directly to him.
It's one of the reasons I haven't written much lately. I want to be encouraging and uplifting to those who read this, and I want to seem like I have it all together. But I'm choosing transparency instead, knowing that if you really know me and know how I'm doing, it might still be an encouragement to you as you work through whatever "stuff" you have going on where you are. Plus, I'm hoping it'll help you pray for me better. Maybe you should pray for Marc and the kids, since they're the ones suffering the most!
When I did my Bible study this morning (because I'm a rule-follower, and even when I don't feel like it, I have a quiet time and Bible study time...one of the few times the following rules compulsion works out well for me), something caught my eye. I've probably read Philippians a hundred times in my life, so I worried that a study of it wouldn't mean much to me. Oh, how wrong I was! When I came upon this verse--18--I was kind of stunned. Paul was saying that even though some people were preaching the gospel out of jealousy and in order to hurt him while he was imprisoned, he didn't care--as long as the gospel was being preached. I looked again at the chapter--rejoice, rejoice, rejoice--over and over again, Paul chooses to rejoice in all circumstances, because they are impacting people with the gospel. Hmmm...I'm here to impact the spread of the gospel. Hmmm...maybe God has a message for me in these verses? As Hannah Montana would say, You think?
My very wise friend, Cathy, reminded me again that being on the mission field is not only about what you are doing in God's name, but what He is doing in your life. He is stripping me of needing to be great at everything. He is stripping me of wanting to be "successful" in the world's eyes. He is stripping me of the need to appear to have it all together. Sometimes, I wonder what will be left when He is through stripping me of all these things that have been me for so long. But I am confident of this--He is faithful. His plan for me is immensely better than my plan for me. He loves me more than I am even capable of understanding. He holds me in the palm of His hand, and He hears me when I call out to Him. He is my strong tower, my shelter, my refuge in a city without hope. All I have to do is run to Him, and I will be saved. But this week, I've been content to be shrouded by concerns and worries and feelings and emotions that have kept me from Him. And so I've floundered a little. Thankfully, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. Otherwise, I'd be in big, big trouble.
So, that's where I am over on this side of the pond. Choosing to rejoice, choosing to be content, choosing to allow Him to make a way for me here. But I do wonder one thing...while He's stripping me of all this other stuff, couldn't He strip me of the extra pounds I picked up over Christmas? Wherever you are, I hope you're choosing to be content in the knowledge of the One who loves you more than anything. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
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