If I could see what You see/When You look at me/I would begin to understand/Who I really am/I would know how deep/Your love is for me/If I could see what You see. "If I could see what you see"--Paul Marino and Jeremy Johnson
One of the loveliest things I received when our friends Cathy and Tim moved to Prague for six months was a cd tied to the study The Patriarchs by Beth Moore. Of course, the album features Travis Cottrell, one of my favorites, and so I immediately began listening to the music. It has many, many songs that are so meaningful to me, but this one in particular struck me this morning as I was making piles of blinis for breakfast. (blinis are the only Russian food I have mastered--kind of like a very, very thin crepe that's filled with all kinds of stuff...we like them sweet, but Russians are more likely to fill them with fish or caviar or ham and cheese.) One of the things I have struggled with here in Russia is purpose...what am I doing here? I have never doubted God's call on my life or the life of our family. But I have struggled to understand it. Why make us move from Middleburg, where life was so easy in comparison? Why do we have to be the ones who struggle? A call from God is something that cannot be ignored successfully for very long, so we almost feel like we didn't have a choice in coming here--though, of course, we did. But I can't imagine ignoring God on this matter. So why the move to Russia?
Now, I'd love to say that I have all the answers to those questions, but I'd be lying--and I'm a missionary, so I'm not allowed to lie. :o) But the thing I have come to, and that this song reminds me of, is that I don't have to know the reason. God is under no obligation to let me in on what He's doing in my life. What I must do, however, is know that He knows what He's doing. I am often baffled by His choice of my family for this work. Surely there are better vessels He could use. But His word reminds me again and again and again that it's not the strong He chooses--but the weak, because His strength is made perfect in my weakness. It isn't the wise He chooses, nor the perfect, nor the ones who have it all together all the time. He chooses those of us through whom He can shine even more clearly, because we're so weak that we couldn't do this any other way. When He looks at me (and you!), He sees something more than I see. He sees us as we could be. He sees us as He designed us to be. And so more and more, my prayer is that He will just make me into the person He created me to be. And maybe, just maybe, I could get a brief glimpse of who that person is. Just a little peek!!!
Well, the big news of our week is that we have finished full-time language school. Now, before you rejoice too much with us, it doesn't really mean much in terms of our language classes--we are off on Mondays from now on. However, the big, big thing this means for us is that we are allowed to do ministry with our team! That means Monday evening team meetings, the English camp at the end of February, and an event at the end of May with the University of Mobile drum corps. We are so excited about this! We really believe it will make an immense difference to us in how we feel about being here.
Our other big news is that we are having about fifteen people here tonight for a Super Bowl party. I'm not sure I've mentioned this, but we have something called a Slingbox, which is attached to my sister's cable in Dallas, and it allows us to watch American tv. So at one tomorrow morning, a whole host of folks are coming in, bringing food, and we're going to watch the game. It should be fun. We definitely have a more active social life here than we did in the states.
Well, I'd better run. I'm making meatballs (I bought them at IKEA, Kay, so no worries about them turning out) and a chocolate cake, and I probably need to get moving on that. If you know Marc, you know that he is making chili even as I write this, and the entire floor smells delicious as soon as you step off the lift. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you take time today to think about how God sees you, and that wherever you watch the game, someone is bringing bean dip (we are really excited about the bean dip)! Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
One of the loveliest things I received when our friends Cathy and Tim moved to Prague for six months was a cd tied to the study The Patriarchs by Beth Moore. Of course, the album features Travis Cottrell, one of my favorites, and so I immediately began listening to the music. It has many, many songs that are so meaningful to me, but this one in particular struck me this morning as I was making piles of blinis for breakfast. (blinis are the only Russian food I have mastered--kind of like a very, very thin crepe that's filled with all kinds of stuff...we like them sweet, but Russians are more likely to fill them with fish or caviar or ham and cheese.) One of the things I have struggled with here in Russia is purpose...what am I doing here? I have never doubted God's call on my life or the life of our family. But I have struggled to understand it. Why make us move from Middleburg, where life was so easy in comparison? Why do we have to be the ones who struggle? A call from God is something that cannot be ignored successfully for very long, so we almost feel like we didn't have a choice in coming here--though, of course, we did. But I can't imagine ignoring God on this matter. So why the move to Russia?
Now, I'd love to say that I have all the answers to those questions, but I'd be lying--and I'm a missionary, so I'm not allowed to lie. :o) But the thing I have come to, and that this song reminds me of, is that I don't have to know the reason. God is under no obligation to let me in on what He's doing in my life. What I must do, however, is know that He knows what He's doing. I am often baffled by His choice of my family for this work. Surely there are better vessels He could use. But His word reminds me again and again and again that it's not the strong He chooses--but the weak, because His strength is made perfect in my weakness. It isn't the wise He chooses, nor the perfect, nor the ones who have it all together all the time. He chooses those of us through whom He can shine even more clearly, because we're so weak that we couldn't do this any other way. When He looks at me (and you!), He sees something more than I see. He sees us as we could be. He sees us as He designed us to be. And so more and more, my prayer is that He will just make me into the person He created me to be. And maybe, just maybe, I could get a brief glimpse of who that person is. Just a little peek!!!
Well, the big news of our week is that we have finished full-time language school. Now, before you rejoice too much with us, it doesn't really mean much in terms of our language classes--we are off on Mondays from now on. However, the big, big thing this means for us is that we are allowed to do ministry with our team! That means Monday evening team meetings, the English camp at the end of February, and an event at the end of May with the University of Mobile drum corps. We are so excited about this! We really believe it will make an immense difference to us in how we feel about being here.
Our other big news is that we are having about fifteen people here tonight for a Super Bowl party. I'm not sure I've mentioned this, but we have something called a Slingbox, which is attached to my sister's cable in Dallas, and it allows us to watch American tv. So at one tomorrow morning, a whole host of folks are coming in, bringing food, and we're going to watch the game. It should be fun. We definitely have a more active social life here than we did in the states.
Well, I'd better run. I'm making meatballs (I bought them at IKEA, Kay, so no worries about them turning out) and a chocolate cake, and I probably need to get moving on that. If you know Marc, you know that he is making chili even as I write this, and the entire floor smells delicious as soon as you step off the lift. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you take time today to think about how God sees you, and that wherever you watch the game, someone is bringing bean dip (we are really excited about the bean dip)! Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye
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