When it's all been said and done

My three treasures--Sarah Beth, Hannah and John-John.

For He has rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of His Beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13-14

Obviously, I am taking another break in the saga of our registration trip. In the last day or so, there has been a sort of "perfect storm" of things God is obviously telling me, and I feel compelled this morning to tell them to you. (I don't always do that--one of my favorite people, Lauren Crews, once said that what God is telling you is for you, not necessarily for everyone. Wise words.)

First, a confession which will not come as a shock to anyone who even vaguely knows me. I am a worrier. You name it, and I have worried about it at some point in my life. My current list of things to worry about consists of the following:

• on-field friendships for us and the kids
• the pain and trauma of transition, especially for Hannah
• how we are going to pay the leftover tuition for the kids' school next year
• controlling my weight (I went back on Weight Watchers on Saturday)
• what to do with my hair (I'm not kidding)
• whether people think we are "good" missionaries
• what I will wear to the swimpark on Tuesday (my swimsuit is still in the States)
• how my kids are turning out (don't all parents worry about that?)
• my Daddy's "flutter" on his stress test

You get the idea. Some stuff I worry about is important in our lives. Some of it is, well... silly. So this is the stuff I carry with me. And you should know that I am a thousand times better than I used to be. I used to make myself sick worrying about stuff. Now it just wakes me up before dawn. (Actually, this morning it was the construction outside, which began at about 5.) And let me be clear--I am totally and completely aware that this is sin. I know it. I really, really do.

At church yesterday, the "word before the word"--the analysis of scripture that takes place before the "main" sermon--was about thanksgiving. In his analysis, the speaker made the point that the opposite of thanksgiving is worry. We worry about what we will wear, etc., but those things keep us from thanksgiving, and thanksgiving is a command of the Lord. I had never thought about it that way. When I worry about things, I forget to be thankful for the ka-billion things God has done for me and is doing currently in my life. Interesting point.

So when I got up this morning, I was already thinking about what was said at church and all the things I worry about in the course of any given day. In my quiet time, I read from Colossians 1-2:5 (I'm studying Colossians right now). In that passage, Paul tells the church at Colossae that their lives should be filled with fruit, and that they should beware being deceived by persuasive arguments. Nowhere does he say, "And while you're living fruit-filled lives, make sure you spend some of your day worrying about things God already has under control." It occurred to me that the "persuasive argument" I have listened to for most of my life is a lie straight from the enemy. He has persuaded me that God cannot handle the details, that He needs me to work and do my best to solve all problems and control all things in my life and the life of my family. Yikes! That wasn't a fun realization. That didn't make me feel very good about my Christian walk. There was some confession and forgiveness time, and then I started listening to music.

I am listening through Robin Mark's "Revival in Belfast" right now in my quiet time. This is a collection of music we did in praise team years ago on a Sunday night. It's great music. I love "Lion of Judah" and "Garments of Praise" and "Days of Elijah." But this morning, I got to the end of the album, to a quiet little song called "When it's all been said and done." These are the words I came upon:

When it's all been said and done, there is just one thing that matters. Did I do my best to live for truth? Did I live my life for You?

Lord, Your mercy is so great that you look beyond our weakness and find purest gold in miry clay, making sinners into saints.

I will always sing your praise, here on earth and ever after. For You've shown me heaven's my true home, when it's all been said and done. You're my life when life is gone.

You know how much my worrying matters? I mean really matters? Except that it's sin, and something I must immediately get rid of, it doesn't even fall in the list of top 100 things that matter. It isn't living my life for truth, or living my life for Him. What matters is taking care of that which He has entrusted to me--their names are Marc, Sarah Beth, Hannah and John. It's praying for my friends and family. It's loving people like Jesus loves me--in spite of themselves. It's saying, "Yes!" to whatever it is God has for me right now. It's not worrying about the three million things Satan has convinced me I'm in charge of, when I'm really not in charge of anything at all. It isn't thinking about next term (though the south of Spain still sounds great to me, Tara) or stateside or any of those things. It's here and now. It's taking care of my home and family. It's living a life that glorifies Him. It's making my life the song I sing for Him. That's what matters when it's all been said and done.

I may or may not know you. I'm overwhelmed by the people who read this blog even though they don't know me. But here's what I'd tell you this morning--whoever you are, and wherever you are, take a deep, hard look at what the persuasive argument is you're listening to today, and then evaluate it based on the life He has called you to live. If it doesn't match up, then you need to change the tuner on the radio and listen to some truth. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that today is a day in which your life reflects the best He has for you, and that you are not spending time worrying about the ever-encroaching gray in your hair. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye