No matter where I go

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. Psalm 139:9-10

We are back from vacation and deep into the preparations to leave our home. If you read our prayer blog, you know that we have sold our house, and that we move out June 30. So this weekend, we will be selling most of our earthly possessions in preparation for that move. It's a fairly daunting task. I am very, very sentimental, and so I have kept boxes and boxes of stuff that normal people probably would not have saved. I still have Sarah Beth's baby clothes...and she's 15! So we spent a good part of yesterday going through and making decisions about what to keep and store, what to sell this weekend, and what to throw away. While I'd love to say that because God called me to be a missionary I am completely above materialism, it would be a lie. I'm not. It's hard to get rid of 99% of what you own. Or at least it is for me. But these are just things. In the end, they do not have eternal significance. Just things.

I am reminded of my favorite poem, "One Art" by Elizabeth Bishop. In the poem, the speaker is making the case that losing things isn't reallly that bad (of course, it's ironic, because it is bad). Progressively, the speaker loses larger and larger things, culminating in the final stanza, which begins with the line, "Even losing you..." In the next to last stanza, the speaker loses houses, cities, and continents that are well-loved. That's where we are. As I looked out over the mountain for the last time for at least a while, I could not help but cry to God, "Lord, this has been my hiding place. How can I leave it?" But then in that still, small voice, He so clearly reminded me, "No, Kellye...I am your hiding place. Me alone. I am totally enough. And no matter where you are, I am there. I will never leave you. I will never forsake you. There is no place you can go that I am not already there." He is faithful and true. He has always been. He will always be. I will say it with my last breath: He is enough.

Pray for us as we sift through 17 years of marriage and try to decide what memories to keep. Pray for my parents, who are working themselves like dogs on my behalf. Pray for my children, who are clearly showing signs of the stress we are all under. Hannah summed it up well for all of us on vacation, when she looked at us with those big blue eyes and said, "I just don't understand why God would choose us. We're so ordinary. It doesn't make sense." You're completely right, Banana. It doesn't make sense. But the God of the Universe called. What choice do we have but to join Him where He's called us? I'll never understand why He chose us for this work, but I'm eternally grateful that He did.

Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye