In case you thought I'd dropped off the earth...

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroms of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among thowho are being saved and among those who are perishing...II Corinthians 2:14-15

I realized this morning that it's been a week since I've written, and you likely thought I had completely disappeared from the face of the planet. Not true--I'm still alive and well in Moscow. (It still feels weird to write that!) The volunteer team from Allen, TX, came Saturday morning, and we have been running since they arrived. It's been so wonderful, and not just because my sister, Kay, is with them. The whole team is just great, very low-maintenance, very easy to be with, and very, very willing to be flexible, which is likely the most important quality of any team. Yesterday was the first time we had any "free time" since they arrived, and we had a birthday party for the three kids with gifts from Mimi and Poppy, Aunt Kay and Uncle John, and Aunt Cathy and Uncle Steve. The pictures are of some of their new outfits. John-John was particularly thrilled with his Sooner sweatshirt (just like Daddy's), and he insisted on wearing it to the English Camp last night, making sure everyone saw that he had a Sooner shirt on for his "pretend" birthday. (He kept calling it that and making all of us giggle.)

The camp has gone extremely well. We've had between 40 and 50 each night, with tonight being the final night. The team has done a wonderful job of teaching. From here, we'll develop English clubs that meet in our homes. I am especially excited about this. One thing the week has done for us is made us determined more than ever to concentrate on language so we can move on to full-time ministry. Because we haven't had language lessons this week, we've had the chance to see that life here is actually okay and doable if we aren't also full-time students. In fact, we've had more fun this week doing ministry than we've had since we arrived in October. It's been kind of like a carrot God has held out in front of us. "See? If you finish language, life will be better..." It's been unbelievably renewing and refreshing. Tomorrow, we'll take them to Ismaylovsky Park to buy souvenirs, and then the church is taking us to Hard Rock Cafe for dinner--I've never been to a Hard Rock Cafe before, so I'm kind of excited about that.

It's been interesting to see "my" city through the eyes of my sister. I'd sort of forgotten (how is that possible?) how different life here is. I don't think about how long it takes to get somewhere. I don't think about how quiet the metro is. It doesn't occur to me anymore. But it's been fun to look at Moscow through her eyes. Sometimes, what she sees is disturbing to her, and that's a good reminder of why we're here. But it's also good to see the beauty of Moscow, its history, and its people through the eyes of someone who is just getting to know those things.

Okay, this part is going to make Marc giggle, because he thinks I can turn anything into a lesson about how God is doing something. But I just can't help myself--He IS doing something. Having the volunteer team here has been such a gift for me, personally, and I can see how God is using them to refresh my spirit. Yes, it's going to be hard for them to leave on Monday, for us to go back to our life the way it's been, to go back to language, to continue the struggle to have a life here. But it's also a great way for Him to remind us why we're here. I am not in love with Russia or Russians. I'm really not. I have a heart and a passion for the city, the country, and the people, but I'm not so devoted to THEM that I can't imagine living anywhere else. However, I am totally and completely in love with my Savior, and He has called me here. My prayer has become so simple--more and more and more of Him. And the more I have of Him, the more this place doesn't seem so foreign to me--the more this huge city, with its different kinds of people, different language, different customs, becomes home. As I've taken people around, showed them parts of the city, taken them to the school, introduced them to Russian culture, the more I've come to recognize the absolute miracle God is working in me. He is answering that prayer to have more of Him. He continues to be faithful beyond my understanding. Through the team from Allen, He's given me new eyes to see what He's doing in me. What an incredible gift from my incredible God.

Well, I have to run. Sarah Beth needs to be up and showering for school--there's a big basketball tournament this weekend, and her best friend, Anna, is coming in from St. Petersburg and staying with us. What a weekend!!! I hope wherever you are in the world, you have a stockpile of marshmallows and peanut butter cups from friends (or maybe from your grocery store!) and that you are being amazed by our amazing God. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

When praise demands a sacrifice

When praise demands a sacrifice/I'll worship even then/surrendering the dearest things in life./And if surrender costs me all/He'll find me faithful to His call. "When Praise Demands a Sacrifice"

I love this song so much. It's on a collection of songs for the Beth Moore Bible study on The Patriarchs. That study was so important to me. During the time I was in the study, I finished graduate school (Go Gators!), was working on the process to be appointed by the IMB, and was just generally overwhelmed with life. I can distinctly remember one lesson, during a time I was kind of whiny about all the stuff the IMB wanted from us, and I was honestly wondering--is this worth it? Maybe we can just go on some short-term trips and God will be satisfied. And the lesson was about the Israelites crossing the Jordan and placing their stones of remembrance. But halfway in, they had to decide whether to go across all the way. After all, leading so many people across the river seemed kind of crazy. What would people say? What if they failed? But they chose to trust God, forget what others said, and move across. They committed to finish what they'd started. I can still remember the way God spoke to my heart. Are you really committed to My vision for your life? Really? Then keep crossing the river, Kellye. And I did, and here we are. But I really think God used that study so much to get me through that time in my life.

Sometimes, praise does demand a sacrifice. Lately I've realized that praise isn't just what we lift up to God. It isn't just words and a life lived for Him. It's also those things we cherish but choose to lay down. This song has a line to that effect somewhere in it, I think. I cherished my life in the States, my reputation as an educator, my career, my church, living close to my parents and aunt and uncle. I cherished the happiness of my children, the ease of my life there, and being able to hop in the car and go to Publix. And I'm not saying I don't miss those things, because I do. I really, really do. But I can honestly say that the treasure of knowing Christ like I know Him now that I have had to depend on Him for survival...it's worth everything I've laid down. I know Him so much more. And like all really wonderful friends, the more I know Him, the more I love Him. The more I know Him, the more I want of Him.

Yesterday, I had the chance to talk to my pastor on the phone. I really enjoyed talking to him. And I appreciate the concern he showed for our family, and the fact that he and our children's pastor (they happened to be together) took the time to speak to the kids. I think sometimes, especially for Hannah, it is very important to hear from people at home. She was very excited about the call, but she was especially excited that Pastor Ralph missed her, that Brother Alan wanted to talk to her. She has struggled so much, and it seems to me that some of her struggle is that she worries about being forgotten. So it was nice to hear the voices of two men who are very important to her reminding her that she is important to them. Someone I love once wrote me a note, thanking me for something I'd done for her child, and she said that what I did for her child, I did for her. I understand that more and more as time goes on. When someone encourages my children, I, too, am encouraged. So thanks for calling!

Well, it's time to get ready for my language lesson. Pray for me--I have just enough language to be dangerous. I had a lovely conversation with a babushka at a bus stop yesterday, and for a minute, I thought she was saying how cute my children were, so I smiled, nodded, and thanked her. When she looked at me oddly, I realized I had misunderstood--she didn't say they were cute...she asked if they were sick since they had dark circles under their eyes. She admonished me for not taking good care of them, and then realized I only understood part of what she was saying. It will get easier, won't it? Some day, I will manage to understand, be understood, and walk away with some dignity all at the same time, right? It looks like it's far, far down the road!! I hope wherever you are in the world, you are praising God no matter what, and that your children do not have dark circles under their eyes! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

A fun day at the photo...uh, feed store

One thing I really like about being a missionary is that I'm forced, more or less, to live beyond my coping capacity. I'm convinced that what is wrong with many churches and the people in them is that they have set up their lives so that they can cope without anyone's help--even God's. When I left America for the mission field, I no longer was able to cope with the life I had chosen. It was a bit beyond me. It has forced me to rely on God in a way that I never have previously. Being an Aroma of Christ by Karen Pearce

I know you're probably sick of hearing about this book, but honestly, she said it so well, so perfectly, that I don't even need to expound. She's right--being on the field has made me rely on God in a new way.

Okay, this is going to be short--it's my day to go to the superstore to stock up on groceries, and Frances will be here soon to pick me up. I simply had to share our experience yesterday. On Friday, we received an email that said they had found a way to get work permits for those of us on "religious workers" visas. Now, this is a long story and hard to explain, but five days after we moved here, Russian visa laws changed, and those changes have resulted in a mass exodus from the country for a period of time and then a mass migration back into the country. Hard to explain in a short way, but work permits were the only way around the law, and they are hard to come by, so news that they had found a way to get them was so exciting and such an answer to prayer. (Long and short--it could mean that we will be able to stay in Russia instead of moving in and out every six months.) With the news came a long list of stuff we had to have, including pictures on specific kinds of paper.

Well, we didn't know how to get those pictures, but after calling around, our friends found a place close to the office where we could get them and then go to the office and turn in all the stuff we needed. So at about 1p.m. yesterday, Kris and Frances and Dan and Kyle came and picked us up in the car, and we all headed out. We finally found the place...it was a back room in an animal feed store. I'm not even kidding. But this is Russia, so we just kind of shrugged our shoulders and went on. This was a little like taking your passport picture at Walgreens, except you need to add some unpleasant smells. (And I won't get into some of the brand names that had been transliterated in a very, very funny way, but there were a few chuckles.) Here's the difference--in my passport photo, I am smiling. I am American, and so I am smiling, because that is what we do. However, in my work permit photo, I must look Russian, and so I must not smile. It is very important. NO SMILING! Of course, once you know you're not supposed to smile, it's almost impossible to keep from smiling. Add Frances into the mix, and it is impossible not to smile. Finally, after three or four takes, the guy got my picture, we paid, and we went to the office.

Of course, I had to leave the pictures at the office (one set in black and white, so just imagine how that looked), but we did our best to recreate our pictures, and you see the results above. I might look a little more crazed in the picture above, but not much. I honestly think these are the craziest pictures I have ever taken in my whole life. But I'll give them this--I definitely look Russian. (And Marc looks a little like the drunk guys on the metro, but that seemed appropriate, too.)

Wherever you are in the world, I hope you are enjoying a wonderful morning, and that somewhere you have some crazy, crazy pictures of yourself. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

My kids, it turns out, are not perfect

We say that we want to follow Him to the ends of the earth, but we want a road map first. We want God to entrust us with the secret plan before we take off. If He refuses, then we often say that we aren't sure that we hear His voice anymore or that He isn't leading in that direction. Could He want you to follow without knowing all the details?--Being an Aroma of Christ, Karen Pearce

For once, my picture kind of matches what I want to talk about--I know they're usually pretty random. This is a picture from last night's "evening worship service," a time when we gather as a family to watch/listen to Southern Hills Baptist Church in OKC. They have a live webcast, complete with singing, etc., and we "attend" each Sunday night. Now, as you can plainly see, my children are playing their gameboys. They are also surrounded by all of their stuffed animals/dolls (because no one wants to sit alone at church!). That may seem to you like they aren't really "doing" church. (Sarah Beth was at a birthday party for a Russian friend, Sacha.) And I have to admit to you that, once upon a time, your opinion of how my kids did stuff would have really mattered a lot to me--more than it should. But one of the things God is really teaching me on the field is about the sin of comparison.

For most of my parenting life, I have worried that my children's behavior didn't measure up to other people's children's behavior. Not so much with S.B., who was a really well-behaved child in all circumstances (at least until she hit about 12), but with John and Han, I really started to think that our parenting wasn't as good as other people's. Sometimes, our kids were not politically correct. Sometimes, they said and did things that totally embarrassed me. Especially with John, I saw my children only through the critical eyes of others, and I always found them--and us--wanting.

But the mission field has a way of jostling how we see things. The lack of a "road map" that Karen Pearce mentions above is so unsettling that it unsettles everything in life. And so I've had the chance to really take a good look at my kids. You know what I've found? They each have unique qualities that have equipped them for the field and for life. I have been highly critical of Sarah Beth's tendency to be more inward than outward. (That's kind of the pot calling the kettle black, isn't it?) I have pushed and pulled and cajoled most of her life for her to be more extroverted. But her introversion is part of who she is--creative and funny, very, very intuitive about people, extremely loyal to those she loves. Hannah has been an emotional rollercoaster since we got here, and in the past, I would have tried to keep that a secret as much as possible, especially from those here on the field, who might think we were unworthy of being here. (Which we are, by the way.) But it's that very passionate nature in her that makes her a magnet for other people. Even when she was a baby, Hannah was a leader. She has a group already here. The little girls at church, who don't understand anything she says, still want to be with her and help her. I would not have seen that in the past.

And then there's John. I can't tell you the tears I've cried over the years because others did not see John the way I wanted them to see him. My poor friend Denise, who was his Awana teacher in kindergarten, made the mistake of saying something nice about him one night, and I absolutely collapsed in tears. You know what she said? "John is such a treasure, Kellye." That was a year and a half ago, and I can still picture where we were when she said it--that's how important that statement was to me. It is difficult to raise a difficult child, and John is a difficult child. He is better since we have started medication, but he remains a difficult child. But his sense of fun, his love of animals, his love of all people--can I tell you that everywhere we go, Russians love him? I'm not kidding. Folks who scowl at me otherwise smile because I'm John's Mamatchka. Every tear I've cried over John, every time I've felt that his behavior was embarrassing...every teacher I've snapped at because they said something silly (I once had a teacher at church tell me I needed to work with him to sit and be quiet--when he was three! I replied that I was still trying to get him to stop peeing on the sidewalk, but sitting and listening quietly would be next on my list.)...it's all worth it to see him in this brand new light of how God has gifted him.

Don't get me wrong--there are many days when my children frustrate me. There are many days when being here frustrates me. But more and more and more, I'm learning to cling only to God. We were on our way home Friday night from a member care session with all the newbies in Moscow, and I told Marc I thought we had talked too much. He asked me if I would ever stop thinking that we were always wrong. I said that I always worry that we aren't as good as everybody else here. I'll never forget his response. "I know we're not as good as everybody else here, so I don't worry about it. It's very freeing. You should try it."

So now you know. My kids play gameboy while they listen to the sermon. But when we couldn't get the sermon at first, they both were upset, because they wanted to go to church. And though they were playing gameboy, they sang all the songs. Of course, the funniest moment of the night was when the streaming video halted during one of the songs, and John asked, "Mom, you want to sing this one out for us?" I don't know what "singing this one out" really means, but I'm pretty sure I couldn't have done it justice since I was laughing so hard. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you have the opportunity to see your children in a whole new light, and that you can stop laughing long enough to sing this one out. Blessings to you and yours!
His,
Kellye

A really busy week

He doesn't so much call us to one task as to one Taskmaster. Going with Him isn't a one-time experience; it is a way of life. Being an Aroma of Christ by Karen Pearce

I am reading this unbelievable book by Karen Pearce, who works for the CEE (Central and Eastern Europe) media office as a writer. She and her husband, Preston, have served in Eastern Europe since our region began, and what she has to say about the struggles of missionary life...well, let's just say she hits it on the head again and again. Plus, she's funny and a good writer, so it's such a pleasant read. I read this passage this morning, and it struck me that this is exactly one of the things God is at work on in my life. I would love to think that the "hard work" of being a missionary is over--after all, we have laid it all down at the foot of the cross, right--careers, family, friends, cats, homes. Wouldn't a God who loved us make sure that after we did that, life would be easy? It turns out that our God loves us enough to not be content with a small renovation...He's in for the total rehaul of our lives. When I look back at our first months here, I am struck about how my expectations of how life would be did not match up with what life was. My children were not happy. I did not magically turn into June Cleaver on the plane ride over. All the struggles our family had in the states did not disappear, but were instead magnified a million times. Over and over again, my expectations were completely wrong. Now that we have settled into a kind of ease here, I know that it isn't because we became accustomed to anything, but that God has done some major, major work in our lives as a family. But more and more I realize that the thing I am really in need of, the thing I pray for the most, is Him...more of Him, all of Him, and none of me. When I pray that prayer and mean it...I won't say that life is happy, because it isn't always happy, but I will say that there is a level of peace and contentment that transcends logical explanation.

I realize I haven't written for a week, but I promise it's because I have been incredibly busy this week. On Sunday, we visited a new church and adored it. We were greeted by more people before we hung up our coats than had spoken to us at the other church in four months of attending. It was so exciting. I cried a little. I'm not kidding...I was just so thankful and grateful to be welcomed and greeted and loved, I couldn't hold back a few tears. On Monday, it was our turn to host the team meeting, which we did. Of course, as usual, we had a fantastic time. Our team meetings always end up in howls of laughter. Tuesday, I took the kids to Hinkson and worked with some of the seniors. Wednesday was our only "down" day...just a regular day with language class. Thursday, we met some other M's here for lunch at a steak house in Moscow for Valentine's Day. We had a wonderful, lovely time...again, more howls of laughter. Friday, we had class all day and then a meeting at night with our member care team. (For all our mission friends, it was a mandatory meeting...for all new folks! Just in case you were wondering...) Member care is a system set up by the IMB to provide missionaries with the counseling and emotional health help that can become necessary on the field. Because Russia is such a huge field with so many people, we have our own member care team, and the meeting was just about adjusting to Russia. It was fun, and the kids enjoyed playing with the other kids there. (Except for S.B., who stayed home and watched Andy Griffith by herself all night...a rare treat for her to be alone.) Yesterday, we just had a regular trip to the store in the morning, but that takes about 1.5 hours, because we have to walk there and walk back. Now, I'm getting ready to get everyone up and out the door for church.

It doesn't sound like much now that I've written it down. This week will be taken up with getting ready for a visiting volunteer team coming in from FBC Allen, TX, on Saturday. We can hardly wait for them to get here, not only because my sister, Kay, is coming with them, but because we feel really engaged with this church. They have never met us, but they have adopted us as their own, and we are just in love with them. They will be helping teach an English camp the whole next week, so please be in prayer for that. We can hardly wait...except that I have got to get my house clean! (See, some things are the same no matter where you live!)

Well, I'd better run. The pictures are of John-John's magnetix creation, which he was really excited about, what it looks like when it snows here, and my heart-shaped pancakes I made on Valentine's Day. I was pretty impressed with them, and judging from the way my family gobbled them down, they must have been, too. I make my own syrup, and I have to tell you, it's a lot better than the stuff I used to buy. Of course, it's also kind of a pain to make, but it'll be hard to go back to store-bought. (I'll manage, but I might have some complaints.) Wherever you are around the world, I pray that you are looking forward to spending some time in corporate worship with other believers who are excited that you're there, and that you have great maple syrup for your pancakes! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

The prize, the package, the cards, and the joys of Andy Griffith

Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12

I think I've mentioned before that I am studying Philippians. What a pleasure it is to get up every morning and just read Paul's writing. What an encouragement to me. I especially like this verse, because when I think of God's call upon my life, I often have the image in my mind that I have been "laid hold of" by Christ, with Him grabbing my hand to direct me down a road I did not foresee. I definitely can understand Paul's imagery here. One of my favorite old hymns (I come to appreciate more and more the sound theology contained in those precious songs from the Sundays of my childhood) is "Higher Ground." Remember the words? I'm pressing on the upward way/new heights I'm gaining every day/still praying as I'm onward bound/Lord, place my feet on higher ground. Yep, I'm with Paul...I'm definitely not there, but I'll just keep pressing on, knowing that my Savior has something special for which He laid hold of me.

This was a fun week for us. Besides the Super Bowl party and the election returns sleepover, we received a fun package from Miss Spicy's Sunday School class at Westminster Baptist Church in Westminster, Maryland, Marc's home church and one of our partner churches. Miss Spicy's class was where Hannah went to Sunday School when we were there this summer, and to say the very least, Miss Spicy made an impression. They brought stuff together and sent it to us, and it was so much fun. There were several really cool things--books, cars for John, Uno cards--but the big hit was Orville Redenbacher popcorn, which we can't get here. It's so wonderful to know that people remember you, and for Hannah, who has struggled so much here, it was just an added boost to her day. We also received cards from another member of WBC, valentines for the kids, which were just so nice. And we received a letter from a member of FBC Allen, TX, another of our partner churches! It was so exciting. You can't imagine how much we get our hopes up when we check the mailbox. It's usually empty, so when there's something there...it's big-time for us.

Due to continuing visa issues in Russia, our friends Doyle and Karen are leaving for Krakow, Poland, tomorrow morning. They were very kind and gave us two huge bags full of vhs video tapes, at least half of which are The Andy Griffith Show. I cannot tell you how fun it has been to watch those shows. Remember when television wasn't objectionable? When you didn't have to cover your child's eyes because something awful had just come on the screen? Living in Russia is a little that way, because we've had the chance to really be choosy about what our kids watch, and they have really gotten into the old tv shows. John loves The Lone Ranger, Hannah enjoys The Adventures of Ozzy and Harriet, and Sarah Beth's hands down favorite is Gilligan's Island. I was washing dishes last night and heard peals of laughter from the kids' room. Now, the kitchen is at the opposite end of the apartment, so for me to hear it, they were really laughing. When I went in to investigate, I found Han and SB laughing at Andy Griffith and the Darlings, where Mr. Darling decides he is going to "woo" Aunt Bea. Some things are just timeless.

Well, I'd better run. I need to wake some folks up here pretty soon, and I haven't started breakfast, yet. Pray for us today--we are visiting a new church. Would you covenant to pray with us about finding a church home here? We really need a place to belong, and that isn't easy when you aren't fluent in the language. We made a list last week of what we were looking for in a church, and this seems to fit the bill. It will take us about an hour to get there, but if it's where God has a home for us, it's well worth it. Wherever you are in the world, I hope you are looking forward to a wonderful day in God's house, and that somewhere in your home is a copy of some Andy Griffith shows. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

The tunnel of chaos

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! "Who has known the mind of the LORD? or who has been His counselor?" "Who has ever given to God that God should repay him?" For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen. Romans 12:33-36

I honestly only have a couple of minutes before I have to get in the shower and get going to school with John and Han, but I wanted to touch base, realizing it has been a while since I checked in with you. It has been a wild week--Sunday night/Monday morning, we hosted a Super Bowl party at our house that began at 2 a.m., and Tuesday night, my friend Frances and I had a sleepover where we watched Super Tuesday returns. (How good is our God, that He gave me a friend who loves politics like I do?) I am certainly feeling all of my 40 years right now, because my days of all-nighters are definitely behind me.

I was looking over some stuff we did at FPO, and I got a little tickled. I was looking at the handout from our session over the mourning process in transition to the field. Just so my "mission friends" know, we have officially started poking our heads out of the tunnel of chaos. Yea!!! I just had to grin as I remembered that session. They asked if anyone had left a beloved pet behind, and as I raised my hand, I broke into sobs. My friend Vicki and I were basketcases during the small group time, making our leader (and wonderful friend) Larry very, very uncomfortable. It was very early in FPO, and I think it was the first time Larry and I saw starkly the differences in our personalities. Instead of making us not like each other, I'm pretty sure it just made us a really good match. Larry swiftly became one of Marc's closest friends, and we talk to them often. I just couldn't help laughing at the memory of Vicki and I crying our way through small group.

Well, I really have to run. I haven't even made muffins this morning yet, so I have to get a lot done before I can get out of here. One cute John story before I go. On Tuesday, I had such a bad headache that I brought John home after his lesson, and Marc came to school to pick up Hannah. On the way to the metro, John held tightly to my hand the whole time. I didn't think much about that until he said, "Mommy, you know what I like to hold your hand?" "Why, John?" I replied. "It just helps me remember that I'm not alone." Okay, I could make a whole metaphor about our relationship to God, etc., etc., but I'll just be a mommy instead. In the words of my friend, Tara, "That's sweet, ain't it?" Wherever you are in the world, I hope your muffins are already baking, you're not running behind like I am, and you have someone to hold your hand and remind you that you are not alone. Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye

If I could see

If I could see what You see/When You look at me/I would begin to understand/Who I really am/I would know how deep/Your love is for me/If I could see what You see. "If I could see what you see"--Paul Marino and Jeremy Johnson

One of the loveliest things I received when our friends Cathy and Tim moved to Prague for six months was a cd tied to the study The Patriarchs by Beth Moore. Of course, the album features Travis Cottrell, one of my favorites, and so I immediately began listening to the music. It has many, many songs that are so meaningful to me, but this one in particular struck me this morning as I was making piles of blinis for breakfast. (blinis are the only Russian food I have mastered--kind of like a very, very thin crepe that's filled with all kinds of stuff...we like them sweet, but Russians are more likely to fill them with fish or caviar or ham and cheese.) One of the things I have struggled with here in Russia is purpose...what am I doing here? I have never doubted God's call on my life or the life of our family. But I have struggled to understand it. Why make us move from Middleburg, where life was so easy in comparison? Why do we have to be the ones who struggle? A call from God is something that cannot be ignored successfully for very long, so we almost feel like we didn't have a choice in coming here--though, of course, we did. But I can't imagine ignoring God on this matter. So why the move to Russia?

Now, I'd love to say that I have all the answers to those questions, but I'd be lying--and I'm a missionary, so I'm not allowed to lie. :o) But the thing I have come to, and that this song reminds me of, is that I don't have to know the reason. God is under no obligation to let me in on what He's doing in my life. What I must do, however, is know that He knows what He's doing. I am often baffled by His choice of my family for this work. Surely there are better vessels He could use. But His word reminds me again and again and again that it's not the strong He chooses--but the weak, because His strength is made perfect in my weakness. It isn't the wise He chooses, nor the perfect, nor the ones who have it all together all the time. He chooses those of us through whom He can shine even more clearly, because we're so weak that we couldn't do this any other way. When He looks at me (and you!), He sees something more than I see. He sees us as we could be. He sees us as He designed us to be. And so more and more, my prayer is that He will just make me into the person He created me to be. And maybe, just maybe, I could get a brief glimpse of who that person is. Just a little peek!!!

Well, the big news of our week is that we have finished full-time language school. Now, before you rejoice too much with us, it doesn't really mean much in terms of our language classes--we are off on Mondays from now on. However, the big, big thing this means for us is that we are allowed to do ministry with our team! That means Monday evening team meetings, the English camp at the end of February, and an event at the end of May with the University of Mobile drum corps. We are so excited about this! We really believe it will make an immense difference to us in how we feel about being here.

Our other big news is that we are having about fifteen people here tonight for a Super Bowl party. I'm not sure I've mentioned this, but we have something called a Slingbox, which is attached to my sister's cable in Dallas, and it allows us to watch American tv. So at one tomorrow morning, a whole host of folks are coming in, bringing food, and we're going to watch the game. It should be fun. We definitely have a more active social life here than we did in the states.

Well, I'd better run. I'm making meatballs (I bought them at IKEA, Kay, so no worries about them turning out) and a chocolate cake, and I probably need to get moving on that. If you know Marc, you know that he is making chili even as I write this, and the entire floor smells delicious as soon as you step off the lift. Wherever you are in the world, I pray that you take time today to think about how God sees you, and that wherever you watch the game, someone is bringing bean dip (we are really excited about the bean dip)! Blessings to you and yours!

His,
Kellye